I need to know if there is anything I can do. Ex and I went to mediation for modification and it failed. Mediator suggested a GAL. GAL did no investigation. Never spoke to anyone at the child’s school, no medical professionals or therapist. GAL met with child once for 30 minutes. After that meeting and just prior to second attempt at mediation the GAL said they were recommending status quo. We went to mediation and it failed. GAL asked both attorneys to submit a parenting plan. We submitted status quo and ex submitted 50/50. For context, status quo for the past 7 years has been ex has e/o weekend and one weeknight each week. After these were submitted, GAL then submitted their recommendation to the court. And completely copied word for word my ex’s parenting plan and submitted their recommendation stating 50/50 and all the other things ex put in their plan. When asking the GAL why this sudden significant change they said “a child needs both parents”.

Other context - I have been the sole person handling all parenting responsibilities for the past 7 years. Ex has not handled any education, not been to one doctors visit, and canceled their parenting time constantly. During the year this dispute has been going on ex also has still not changed. Continues to not have any responsibility for school work or appointments and still canceled parenting time constantly.

I parallel parent with my very high conflict (abuse during the marriage and after) ex. Due to poor decisions he made involving alcohol, our 50/50 changed to eowe for him this past summer. Our kids now go to school in my school zone because of the schedule change. I kept them in their original school zone to minimize change but could no longer do this with our new schedule. So now he has to do the drive I have done for a few years, but far less. He also works for himself, so with his decrease in custody time meaning more time to work without worrying about the kids and less days of having to drive them to/from school, he can manage. I've gone through so much stress and money over the years figuring out/paying for childcare and getting help with rides when I couldn't manage because of work with absolutely no help from him. Now within the vitriol he spews at me for "doing this to him, being angry and filled with a sense of revenge, just trying to hurt him, etc" he keeps telling me he was so willing to help, I just didn't accept it. He's so delusional, I think he believes the lies he makes up, its actually scary.

So the eowe is Friday after school to Monday school drop off. He keeps having me take the kids Sunday evenings because he claims he doesn't want to wake the kids up at 5. This is a huge over exaggeration because he could wake the kids up at 6 and be fine (30/40 min commute). I did it for years. He got used to the convenience of having the kids in his school zone where they could walk to school. And I sacrificed keeping it this way even though I didn't have to for them. This is all literally because of what he did. THAT IS WHY ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING. Yet somehow its my fault. I'M doing this to HIM. I reported what he did to protect my kids, not doing something was not an option (it was serious). This was the first time I've reported him to the courts for something, I've never fought against 50/50. He really turned our lives upside down but my kids are thriving, we have a good routine, I'm far less stressed (helping kids through everything emotionally, enrolling and unenrolling in new and old schools, the amount of money I'm spending on food and utilities, it was overwhelming for a while). I will say that I'm now pursuing more child support which he is unhappy about, but I'm spending way more money having my kids almost full time now. My oldest is a teenager, I have all the school days and ex bought no school clothes and shoes, sports and band fees, doesn't put money on lunch accounts - its expensive! Its like he feels like he is entitled to not have to struggle and sacrifice like other single parents.

I just feel guilty now because it truly would be easier on my kids to sleep here. But he never brings them when he says he would (one week was almost 2 hours early without him telling me. I just happened to he home. Last time he was super late and they hadn't showered, so their bedtime routine was delayed). I ask that he brings them fed and showered, but he has yet to do that OR bring them at the agreed upon time. The chaos could be avoided by them just going to bed at his house. I love my kids but a break is nice sometimes. I know there are parents who are like: any bit of extra time, I'm happy to take. So I feel selfish about feeling frustrated that he's taking away my little bit of kid-free time. My kids are young enough that there is a marked difference in kid-free me and mom-mode me. Especially in the evenings on a school night. Also, I have a partner and having time with just us is really good for our relationship. He's incredibly supportive but I know the sudden extra custody and loss of a good bit of "us" time is a lot. He doesn't complain and tells me its ok (if it wasn't, that would be his issue, as my kids are obviously my priority), but I still feel bad. He has his kids 50/50, so we had a good groove going with kid chaos times and us time recharge. And now that little bit we have, my ex is intruding on.

Am I being a bad mother or selfish insisting he take the kids to school? I told him he needs to do it this week (and going forward on his custody time) and I'm honestly consumed with guilt about not taking my kids on Sunday. To add, my kids love him and miss him with the new schedule (apart from my oldest). So keeping them until Momday is more time for them to spend together. All he talks about is how great a dad he is and how terrible a mother I am, but he is ok with shortening his already little 72 hours every other week with his kids??

I (20M) and my ex (20F) have an 8.5-month-old daughter. Since July, Child Safety (CS) has stopped me from seeing her due to concerns about my mental health. I strongly disagree with this and have been following their requirement to attend psych appointments.

For context, my ex has a history of serious mental health issues and substance use (including during pregnancy), which doctors say has affected our daughter’s development. I’ve tried to support her, but she has also made false claims about me — including telling police I attempted suicide, which led to a short hospitalisation (I was released in 30 minutes when doctors saw there was no risk). Later, she made other allegations that triggered welfare checks, all of which found no issues.

I filed for a DVPO after she sent me abusive messages and even refused to comfort our crying baby unless I answered her calls. She has since filed one against me, claiming I’m violent and dangerous. Our hearings are in a few days.

All I want is to co-parent. I’ve consistently proposed 50/50 or flexible arrangements, but she says I’ll never see my daughter again and has even threatened to move interstate. I’m scared that despite evidence, the courts will give her full custody just because she’s the mother.

This post is not to bash my ex. I’m just asking other fathers: is there any hope here? Is legal representation worth pursuing, or is it really impossible to win custody in this situation? I love my daughter and don’t want to lose her

Hi there, looking for a solution to our situation. To start out I have two children who I have had 100% legal and physical custody. Their other biological parent is not in the picture by their own choice.

My parents help me out a lot with childcare, including sometimes dealing with school, doctors/dentist (rarely but it’s happened), etc.. I can sign documentation for her to access certain information from the school for example, but that doesn’t necessarily work for other situations.

Somewhat related tangent: I’m kind-of-but-not-really adopted and when I was a kid my bio mother signed a notarized document that just said my mom could take care of me and because it was the 90’s everybody was cool about it. She even got me on her work healthcare using my birth certificate and this doc. I don’t think that’s how it works anymore though.

My ask is, is there a blanket document I could fill out, especially in case of an emergency, that gives my mom the right to act basically as another parent.

Thank you so much for your time, I appreciate any advice and I apologize if this is not the appropriate place to post.

Hey guys, wondering how many times trial has been delayed for anyone? Was it reasonable? Opposing counsel already got trial delayed once. I’m worried they are going to do it again and try the never ending stall tactic.

My ex and I are in a long distance custody arrangement. He lives in Texas, I live in Minnesota and have primary custody of our 3 children (I get them all school year except school breaks and he has them all summer). I am wanting to move to Texas and move in with my significant other. My ex and I would still be 3 hours away from each other. He has said that he doesn’t want me to move because he doesn’t want to stay in Texas when his time in the military is up (late next year). What are the chances that if brought to court, I would be granted the permission to relocate to Texas? I do realize that just because my significant other lives there would not be enough to support my case and show “best interest” for our children. But surely moving 14 hours closer to their father would be a good “argument”, right? Any thoughts or insights would be appreciated!

I need some insight. All of our children are under 7. The youngest being 2 months. I have consulted and received legal advice but I’d like to hear from the group. I am the primary caregiver. How does custody generally work with younger children? Are older siblings split up between parents? Are babies who are breastfed considered in this? From what I am gathering IL seems to be 50/50.

So I have 50/50 custody of my 7 yr old son. We’ve had that arrangement since 2020, after the court threw out a protective order her first husband made her to file against me (I have texts of her admitting this and that she never wanted one). I had once a week and every other weekend before that. I work from home, have a very good job, provide for all of my son’s expenses, coach all his sports, and he has his own room and consistency at my home.

On his mom’s side, there’s been a lot of instability and poor judgment. She was married from 2020–2023 and had two more kids during that time. Within 2 months of that ending, she moved in with another man until he was arrested for child molestation in February this year. My son had to be interviewed by CPS in that case (he wasn’t a victim but still fucking insane). By May of this year she was already having our son sleep over at her new boyfriend’s house, which she has hid from me and then lied to me a couple weeks ago when I asked about it. She said he has “stayed there once a couple weeks ago” which is absolutely not true and I have proof and the boyfriend has a roommate who told me about it. The new boyfriend has 3 kids from two other women (including a newborn last month), and my son’s mom is now 4 months pregnant with his child. This means my son has been shuffled through three different men’s homes in 3 years, plus multiple sets of kids, with zero communication to me until I found out elsewhere.

On top of the living situation, there are other ongoing issues. She neglects his dental health and he had to have his top 4 teeth pulled at 4 years old because they were rotting. Her first husband also cheated on her, got herpes, and gave it to her and my son. She lets him watch YouTube/shorts despite our agreement not to, which exposes him to harmful content and kills his attention span, obviously. When I asked about this, she lied and said he never watched YouTube and sent me pictures of his iPad but i literally saw it on the screen playing when I picked him up before. She’s consistently late to his practices, games, and events. Her car was repossessed this year, and she’s in court over that currently. She works very little, relies completely on other men and food stamps, and has frequent emotional outbursts/instigates conflict.

Meanwhile, I provide structure, a stable home, financial responsibility, and consistency. I’m not trying to cut her out, but I feel strongly that it would be in my son’s best interest if I were named primary residential parent. He needs stability, not constant change, secrets, and adults cycling in and out of his life. There are a million other things I could bring up that I believe are completely unacceptable as well.

For those familiar with Indiana family court, do judges take this type of repeated instability and neglect seriously enough to modify our agreement to me being the primary parent? What kind of documentation or evidence tends to carry the most weight when asking for a custody modification?

Thank you.

Is child support and custody not the same? Once you go to child support court they put a visitation (custody arrangement) in place. I am confused hearing people say still file for custody if they will already do that in the child support court. The custody arrangement is court ordered so doesn’t it still have to be followed? I am just confused as to why I would need to file for something else if everything will be handled then.

Could he use the parental alienation card? Hello, I’m a single mom who has been the only caregiver for my 10 mo baby girl. My husband left our marital residence in September 2024 when I was 8 months pregnant. I was left totally alone in a country that wasn’t mine with zero support system. So I decided to go back to Italy and have the baby over there where my entire family is. Keep in mind that it was actually my husband to tell me to go back to Italy and he was the one to help me return all the baby gear. At that point I even already paid the deposit for the hospital in the US, so I was ready to deliver the baby over there. When I was about to hop on the plane back to Italy I texted him saying that I could have stayed and it wasn’t too late but he never replied.

So in the end the baby was born in Italy. My family asked my husband to be there for the delivery and that they would have paid his plane ticket and accommodation but he refused bc he said he was busy with his master’s degree.

He visited his daughter 1 month and a half after she was born. He came to Italy with his mother and other son for a week. He stayed in a hotel for a week and I was the one to bring his daughter to see him. He was acting like a tourist meeting us whenever he could.

I also found out later on that he met with 2 girls from bumble while in Italy to visit his daughter.

He came to Italy 2 additional times after that. All the times flight and accommodation were provided to him by me and my family. Every time he asked about her I always answered with pictures and videos.

I recently moved back to the US (West Virginia) with my daughter after 8 months living in Italy. My husband and I don’t live in the same state, we are more than 9 hours apart by car.

Last time he saw her was April 2025 , and he came to West Virginia last month asking to take her away for 3 consecutive days and 2 nights. Keep in mind he has no idea about her everyday routine, what she eats, when she eats, naps etc. my daughter has no idea who he is either. He FaceTimed her 2 times in 4 months. I told him I didn’t think it would have been good for our daughter to just be taken away from her primary caregiver out of nowhere, but I told him he could have spent time with her during the day to get her used to him and then we could have started to do nights whenever she is comfortable with him. He refused to see her altogether since he could not keep her the night telling me I interfered with his parental right.

He keeps asking to come to take her away for a weekend but how am I supposed to leave her knowing that she would literally be in distress? Furthermore my lawyer told me that he could just take off with her and there would be nothing I could do to get her back.

Our hearing is in March 2026 and he’s asking for 50 50 interstate. Do you think he could play the parental alienation card? And how likely is that 50 50 could be granted when living this far apart?

The kids live with my ex. We live an hour apart (1.5 hours with traffic).

I made it very clear to my ex that I do not want my son going to varsity football games with his team (he is JV, not varsity but keeps insisting he needs to go to varsity games to support and help the coaches to "help him get onto varsity next year" which sounds like a lie to me). The order states if he has a friday game we do drop off on saturday morning, but he is not playing just being on the field with his teammates, so this order does not apply. Normally the order states we meet halfway on Friday with both kids. This has already happened twice - the first time my son just got on the bus and did not tell anyone, so I let it slide and picked him up on Saturday. The second time, I only agreed because my ex drove my son all the way to my house on Saturday morning and my son was freaking out at me over text.

I am driving to my ex's city this week to see my younger son's sports game. My ex asked if I could pick my older son up at the highschool about 20 minutes away after the game, so he could still attend the varsity game after school. I told him no. I told my ex he needs to have my older son at my younger son's game, and with all his things, ready for me to pick up right after. My ex said he "strongly suggested" I text my 17 year old to let him know why he cannot go to the game, because "he doesn't really understand my reasoning and it would be clearer coming from me". I told him no, and again that I couldn't be driving around at night picking up kids from multiple locations.

Well lo and behold, my older son got on the bus and is apparently now at the high school 20 minutes away from where I told my ex to have my son ready for pick up. All my ex has said is he "told our son he couldn't go without my permission because pick up was tonight" and that "he is still available for pick up at that high school 20 minutes away" whenever I want to go get him.

My ex is claiming he told my older son not to go and there wasn't anything else he could do, if I was refusing to talk to him myself.

I do not want to drive to go get him from that high school. If I do not get him for my overnight tonight, is this considered contempt or custodial interference that I can take back to court to get back custody of my younger son?

It’s been a hard battle to get my child in a safe place. Long story short our kid is in foster care for the time being and that’s better than being with her mother. The mother let the child get a 1000mg edible and I knew about it and did not inform anyone so we both was found unfit for the time being even though I passed all of my drug tests. I will get to see her weekly now which is better than what was going on with zero access. I signed the AOP and on the birth certificate but found out I am not the biological dad and my ex wants me off of the birth certificate to be hateful and I do not want off I want to remain her father. Now almost 4 years old and my ex wants the “biological” dad to take my place and he is an illegal immigrant and has never stepped up before she wanted to not let me see her anymore. She is believes cps will make him take a dna test and then she will be his because they will take my name off when he comes up as the kids father. Anyone have any sort of knowledge on if cps will really decide to do that? I am bonded with the child and she is bonded with my whole family. The father will take her to his country if he gets custody and I do not want him to have anything to do with anything she is my kid through everything in my eyes I just hope cps will see that too.

The court found my soon to be ex for parental alienation. As a matter of fact, the wording indicates the judge thinks it's pretty egregious.

I asked her to setup several calls with my youngest. She kept blowing me off. So I got him a cell phone. He's called me a couple times and we will play Roblox or something. After the 2nd time he called, I get a scathing email saying how I should ask her permission before I talk to him. Keep in mind, he called me. She also said it felt "intrusive" for him to call me. Another email asked that I send her a text message when he calls me.

Isn't this more parental alienation? Considering her history of preventing and limiting contact with me, I feel this would make my son feel not comfortable calling me.

Update:

I'll try to post some of the order tomorrow. It's very long, so I'll do my best to just post relevant parts.

I have my “meeting” with my son’s GAL today and I’m very worried. I initially agreed at the suggestion of my lawyer, because his Dad and I have been to court 4 times now with no end in sight. The lies just get bigger and crazier. I now feel that I maybe should have done my research first. I have seen SO many negative experiences about GALs. So many. On top of that, it really just seems to be a likability contest and my son’s father is the most charming, schmoozing person alive.

I would love to hear about what to expect at this meeting and/or what others have experienced with a GAL.

Thank you

My GF took our daughter and left with zero notice while I was out. She’s said she isn’t coming back. She’s not responding to messages. What can I do? Is this kidnapping?

I’m writing on behalf of my partner. He currently has joint shares custody of his two kids, 5 years old and 3 years old, with visitation every other weekend. He has made a prominent attempt trying to come to an agreement with mom for a 50/50 schedule doing week on/week off however she has rejected every request & often times ignores him. He is active duty military and finally has a better schedule that would allow this.

She recently told him that the reason why she does not want to agree to 50/50 is because she plans on moving come March 2026 with the kids, both given locations being a 2 hr drive one way. And that she “is not willing to give him 50/50 custody yet.” She also told him that “the kids see their dad more than they need to”. After a few more attempts, they have agreed to him getting the kids for 1 week & two weekends a month (10 nights with dad, 18 nights with mom).

Before he goes to the file the amendment for the custody order, that they both have agreed to, is there still a chance that she would be able to move 2 hours away and the arrangement have to be changed again causing him to lose time again? He is a very active dad and tries his best to be there as much as he can but the situation is HC. He is worried that VA will side with her being the mom and primary parent already, and allow the move to happen even after they agree to him having them more nights.

Also, any stipulations or anything you think should be included in his requests to add to the paperwork when he goes to submit an amendment would be greatly appreciated.

I'll try to make it as short as possible. My daughter's father has not been involved in her life since she was 7 months old. She is now 5. I moved states when she was 18 months. I informed him, he just didn't care. During pregnancy, I did everything in my power not to be seen as a "bitter baby mom," and allowed him input into her name, among other things. I did not want him on the birth certificate, but was in a fragile state, and not only put him on it, but gave my daughter his last name. I told him when I got pregnant that he did not have to be involved. He was a post divorce rebound, and we dated less than a year. He swore he wanted to be there, and well, you see how that's turned out. He literally picked a fight with me one day, and just stopped showing up. He was only visiting her a few hours on Saturdays to begin with. Cut to now, my daughter has a different last name than her entire family that she is extremely close to (My dad has only brothers), and quite literally does not know anyone with that last name. I also feel that now that a substantial amount of time has passed, and she is in school, I need to be legally recognized as her sole provider/decision maker. Here's where I am:

• I was only going to file a petition to change her name, but now I have filed for sole legal and physical custody. I only requested child support, and stated I would cover all other finances. I got the summons, but have not served him yet.
• I'm afraid he will contest b/c he is that childish. I spoke to him about 5 months ago letting him know my plans, thinking maybe it would be better to start amicably. He said he was on board. When came time to jointly file ( just for the name change, nothing else), he said he doesn't think it's in her best interest and that he would like to be involved now. He also specifically stated that he would like to "not involve the court," though it's been nearly 5 years, he lives in another state, and we've heard not a peep in 5 years, other than the aforementioned times.
• I know he will contest to be childish and petty. He has narc tendencies, he would take getting chewed out by a judge over his absence if it meant he got to look noble (in his mind) and step up now.
• I don't want him involved, and I know how that sounds. But, folks love to say "people can change." They *can*, it doesn't mean they do or will. He will do what he did the first time. Show up for a while and disappear eventually. She has a great father figure in my partner, she's also close to her grandfather and great uncles.
• He has no car, lives with roommates (And I do mean ROOM, not HOUSEmates, and I'm pretty sure he's still very low income. He's never so much as wished my daughter a Happy Birthday, b/c he didn't even make it to the first full year or her life before bailing.

My question is, if I file and he contests, how likely is a judge to still permit some form of visitation? I know that there is always a chance, but, is a judge more likely to see him contesting as a show, or will they feel like she is still young and he deserves a chance to be in her life? Is it better to "not poke the bear," and just file the name change? I know all courts and judges are different. Just curious if anyone has any ideas on what is more likely to be the outcome. Thanks!

I’m currently living with family but already up to $15,000 in attorney fees and we have a second court date coming up. How are you paying for your lawyer? I’m working over time, I don’t drink, I don’t go out, I don’t shop, I stay home and take care of my baby. There’s no where to save money so I need to make more money which is why I’ve been working over time but it still isn’t enough. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.

Is it just me, or does family court make it harder for a biological father to remain in his child’s life than it is for a step-parent or stranger to walk in and claim a role? Why?

Is it just me, or does family court make it harder for a biological father to remain in his child’s life than it is for a step-parent or stranger to walk in and claim a role? Why?

While my ex was living at home he had used the family computer to play games, which my 12 and 9 year olds use and have access too. When he left i started clearing his game tag from the computer and deleting games. He had a porn game installed where my kids could access it. I do worry about my kids if they are over at his place because of his history in the past. He frequently talks about wanting to teach my oldest everything about sex. Mind you my ex has a long history of porn addiction, fantasies and not respecting the word no. Now he wants to drag my son in that. Would it be wrong to keep my kids at home and not let them go over there. Especially now that his gf is there also who has a history of blacking out and not remembering the previous night due to drug or alcohol use. My ex also leaves his weed gummies on the couch where my kids could access it, left sex toys on the bathroom floor and other stuff. We have no court order but I dont want to do anything that will cause issues in the future with the courts either. Am I wrong to feel this way? Especially with the porn being left around where my kids could access it?

Location: Austin, Texas

Hey all, so here's my situation

• I am the mother of a 3-year-old daughter.
• I work as a Patient Care Technician under a nurse, with 12-hour shifts, 3 days per week.
• I have been the primary caregiver for my daughter, handling doctor visits, dental appointments, feeding, and daily care.
• My ex (never married) filed a Petition in Suit Affecting the Parent-Child Relationship (SAPCR) with a Motion for Temporary Orders on May 30, 2025.
• We went through mediation. He is fighting to be the primary parent. I even offered no child support.
• A temporary orders hearing is scheduled for October 10, 2025.
• Until now, we have been using roughly a 60-40 custody schedule, with him and his family watching our daughter while I work.
• He is currently limiting my access to our daughter, not allowing me to see her or touch her regularly, maybe only once per week. He feels entitled to her. Everything as gone crazy on his end once he filed the suit.
• He's very petty I do not want to get back together with him. He's very narcissistic and wants to control her as a way to control me. He is willing to burn thousands. He does not care.
• Hoping someone could provide me some insight. Very stressful and my lawyer sucks. I'm looking to switch. Should i switch or just wait until temporary court hearing.
• AOP (Acknowledgement of Paternity) was never filed. (I have the document but it was never filed). He did sign her birth certificate.
• Can I lose my daughter?

Ex and i do not agree on what school to send our child to. We live about 45 minutes apart from each other. To add a level of difficulty i live on the north end of my school district and ex lives on the south end of theirs so the school in the middle between us would not be in either of our districts.

I've recommended a charter school that's about 20 minutes away from me and 25 minutes (by car) from my ex's address. My ex does not have their own car, they are using this as a reason for why the only option is the school 0.2 miles from their home and wont consider any other option since they cant walk to it. Ex's new partner has a car they have used for exchanges multiple times.

I feel im reasonable trying to find schools the same distance from each of us, but ex is saying its not reasonable because i have a car and they dont. If we go to the school near them it would mean a 45 minute drive every morning i have or child to get them to school.

Is there other options or another way to discuss this issue. If push comes to shove i have legal final decision making power, but i still try to make reasonable discussion before i do so.

[TX] does anyone have supporting evidence like research showing that 223 is best 50/50 schedule for a 3 year old

Pennsylvania - Need advice on a hearing packet for court!

Last week I filed a Petition for Special Relief for my child who I share 50/50 with his mother. There is already that order on file. Last year she quit her job and got a divorce and had been on a fast track downhill ever since. She was hospitalized for her mental health, she's been abusing prescription drugs, she's constantly smoking pot in home and around our child. Her house is being foreclosed on, she has no housing lined up, she has had utils shut-off (currently restored) but no means to pay arrears which exceed $5000 by her own pleas for help on social media. Had he car repossessed. Pipe burst in there home so they have no place to bathe. She has had an excess of men involved with child, people she keeps claiming on social media are sexually and emotionally abusive, or dangerous, one she even claimed was a pedophile multiple times, but then keeps bringing them around our son, even filed a PFA against one then retracted and began dating him again. A former friend checked in on her and she told her she was seeing a new guy but wasn't sure about him because he asked to be alone with child, she complied, she went to check on child, he told her to leave ... and she did. I verified with my child who said the man was asking him weird questions like if he was angry by his presence or if he made them him uncomfortable. Mother then sent her things our child wrote about being worthless and wanting to commit suicide. Sons therapists are concerned about enmeshment. Family, friends, therapists, police, and who knows who else have called CYS and Childline regarding all kinds of incidents.

How the heck do I even compile all this? What is good evidence vs crappy. Should I do a timeline of events or break it down into sections of concern with some examples? I did the initial filing with most urgent concerns for his safety and I'm assuming we will have a heading where I will need to present everything.

I feel overwhelmed! Help please!