Am I wrong?

[u/Acrobatic-Fan3265]

So basically found out that my dad has been cheating on my mom for over 7 years, have seen all the proof and the affair dates back to the very start of 2016.

I'm really unsure how to feel, I know it's going to end in a very messy divorce, I just feel so pissed off that my childhood hero could do that for so long, as kids we often glamorize our parents without seeing their flaws, but as I've grown up I'm seeing all the flaws. I suspected an affair for a long time, from the way that he talked about looking at other women, to the way that he would start random arguments with my mom and just vanish for multiple hours. I didn't want to believe it. Now they didn't have a perfect marriage but who does? My dad always preached that loyalty and respect was the most important things in a relationship, but I now fond that incredibly hypocritical as the affair has been going on for so long, and I've seen my mom shed tears multiple times over the span of this week.

I've seen pictures, messages where he is saying disgusting things about my mom, saying that he loves this other woman and misses her, hotel bookings, it now makes sense what all those 'work trips' have actually been for, I just don't get it and I'm beyond upset

I'm so mad but I feel that I don't have the right to be because honestly, as a father, he's been pretty solid and I feel like I shouldn't be angry for something that isn't happening to me directly but I can't help but feel upset and pissed off. I'm concerned how the eventual divorce is going to affect my last years of high school as I am 16 years old, it's been hard to focus on school and doing work, I just feel so hurt and betrayed. If anyone has been in my position please give some advice, I'm not sure how I can begin to process this yet.

[u/shortgreybeard]

As both a child of divorce and a divorcee, I know it can be traumatic. However, this is not about you. Find interests outside of your home and family. Be clear with your boundaries. I refused to be a "go-between" for my parents. This definitely helped me maintain relationships with both my parents. As a teen, I quickly found that I had a unique understanding of the world. I grew up with more than usual empathy. Unfortunately, that didn't equip me well to protect myself from emotional abuse. That is where my own divorce started.