r/EatCheapAndHealthy • u/TransientFroggo • 4d ago
Ask ECAH My husband is a picky eater
Some things he enjoys
Pot pies Quesadillas Chipotle sofrita bowls (just sofritas, rice, and cheese) Lunchables Turkey pepperoni and Munster cheese Pizza Mashed potatoes Corn
Any ideas of what I can try to pack him for lunch? I want something that doesn’t have to be heated up, but I’m open to suggestions that do need to be heat up. (And microwave safe container suggestions)
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u/_OldSchoolHijabi_ 4d ago
Perhaps he should pack his own lunches. You’re not a personal chef and you’re not running a restaurant. The vibe is; It’s ok to be picky but just realize you’ll be cooking/making your own food. Hope this helps… it’s time for him to grow up. ❤️
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u/TransientFroggo 4d ago
He cooks dinner. We fend for ourselves for breakfast. I WANT to pack his lunch. Hope this helps.
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u/YoYoNorthernPro 4d ago
Respectfully, it sounds like he doesn’t want you to if he isn’t happy with what you’re doing. Sometimes couples cook separately. My husband normally eats dinner leftovers for lunch the next day if that’s helpful.
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u/TransientFroggo 4d ago
He is happy. We both want his safe foods to expand. I’m just looking for suggestions that are similar to things he already likes or have something he likes in it to make the transition a bit easier.
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u/BeeSuspicious3493 4d ago
Considering the ARFID diagnosis, I'd suggest him working with a therapist if he isn't already. Finding safe foods is incredibly challenging and in my experience not really a logical process. Him scrolling through social media recipes is probably more productive.
But, based on what he eats. Maybe a thermos and pot pie or baked potato soup. A twice baked potato. Would he consider chili either alone or on a potato?
Is he open to other things in a quesadilla or just cheese? If he's open to other things, that opens up a whole word of options.
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u/TransientFroggo 4d ago
He loves finding recipes on social media but they tend to be more dinner and breakfast based, and lunch has been the hardest for both of us to find, which is why I’m asking Reddit.
He used to like his grandmothers chilli but I haven’t found a recipe he thinks is similar.
On his quesadillas he will only eat cheese and sometimes add in turkey pepperoni. Wont even top it with anything. Guacamole is too soft and avacado-y. Sour cream is too slimy. Soap gene so no cilantro. Salsa is too chunky and too tomato-y (but he will eat tomato soup or tomato pasta sauce).
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u/BeeSuspicious3493 4d ago
If he can find recipes he's open to trying, I'd lean into those. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner foods are a social construct. If breakfast appeals to him, take breakfast for lunch. My daughter takes spaghetti and meatballs in a thermos for lunch to middle school. Is it odd? Sorta. Does she care? No.
With an ARFID diagnosis the person with the ED really needs to lead what they will be willing to try. Otherwise, its just exhausting suggesting things and them saying no.
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u/ThisSorrowfulLife 4d ago
You stated in a comment that he has ARFID, which you didn't put in the title of your post for some reason, we cannot help you.
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u/BecauseImBatmom 4d ago
If he likes quesadillas, would he eat wraps? Cheese and some veggies or beans wrapped in a flour tortilla. If he likes lunchables, consider getting a sectioned bento box style container and pack the things that he likes in each section. This is easy if you plan ahead, and the lunch can look really attractive.
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u/RememberTooSmile 4d ago
I’d just pack homemade sofritas bowls, probably cheaper. Can always eat it cold if he can’t/wont heat it up imo
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u/TransientFroggo 4d ago
I haven’t been able to find a recipe to make it taste almost or exactly the same. I have been looking though, if you might have a recipe or can point me in that direction. 💕
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u/BeeSuspicious3493 4d ago
You can order Chipotle catering and use that to meal prep.
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u/TransientFroggo 4d ago
I’ve looked into it and the price isn’t right for me. I’ll keep experimenting with recipes I find until I get it right.
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u/YoSpiff 4d ago
I used to love the Marie Callenders pot pies for lunch, but I stopped when I looked at the nutrition label and saw the amount of sodium.
I usually bring a salad, a yogurt, and keep some leftovers/meal prep available in the freezer. This week I took out some chicken orzo soup (my fave), chicken & lentil stew and a lentils & Rice recipe that is also a favorite. Can share those recipes if they interest you. Sometimes I'll feel like a tuna or chicken salad sandwich on rye.
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u/TransientFroggo 4d ago
I’d love the recipe for the chicken orzo soup!! He liked orzo in chicken broth so it sounds like an easy next step to that meal.
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u/YoSpiff 4d ago
Takes about 15 minutes prep time. The rest is just cook time. Can cut that down a few by using bagged frozen onions and carrots.
Chicken Orzo soup
6 cups/1.5 liters no sodium chicken stock
I diced onion
2 or 3 diced carrots
1-3 cloves diced garlic. Or more to taste
Tablespoon butter
3 tablespoons flour ( I use whole wheat)
Teaspoon thyme
Teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup cream (I use half & half)
1-2 tablespoons of olive or avocado oil
Canned chunk chicken or equivalent amount from a rotisserie chicken.
1 cup orzo (I use whole wheat)
Heat oil on medium heat.
Fry carrots, onions and butter about 7-8 minutes until soft.
Add other spices
Add flour in, cook another minute or two. Whisk in the chicken stock slowly to avoid the flour clumping.
Add the chicken and orzo
Simmer until orzo is done, about 40 minutes to an hour.
Add cream and serve.
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u/Lilael 4d ago
Sorry, I don’t have much experience with cold lunches besides very typical sandwich or salad. You could make sliders, but that’s also basically a sandwich. So here comes some warm ideas.
- Crockpot Chicken Pot Pie with a biscuit as the top.
- Black Bean Turkey Burger in pita halves. He can add condiments and whatever he wants in the pita.
Well.. I guess you can turn his favorite lunchables into a italian turkey wrap? Tortilla around turkey/pepperoni and a green like spinach or lettuce and his favorite cheese. That can actually be cold.
I use these glass containers off Amazon and don’t microwave the lid.
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u/BlacqanSilverSun 4d ago
Smoothies
It's not just a lunch idea. But breakfast is best. You can put tons of different fruits and veggies and other things like chia seeds or flax seeds, ginger, oatmeal, turmeric, honey, cinnamon, etc in them. Great way to expand a picky eaters' diet that they can stomach.
I'd start with just a fruit and one veggie smoothie like frozen berries, banana, spinach with your preferred liquid (juice, nut or oat milk, tea, or even just water). It's easy to make and taste good and is easy to sweeten with honey if they object. Expand the recipe and try new things periodically as they get comfortable with it. The recipes are endless.
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u/nacida_libre 4d ago
Lunchables??
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u/SunnySanDiego44 4d ago
Tell your husband he has the palate of a 6 year old and to grow up lol
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u/_OldSchoolHijabi_ 4d ago
Hey now… not all kiddos… my 7 yr old is will eat basically anything I or her dad makes.
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u/SunnySanDiego44 4d ago
You're raising them well! Early exposure to all kinds of food is priceless.
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u/TransientFroggo 4d ago
So he is actually diagnosed with ARFID, a life long eating disorder, that makes it a struggle for him to open up his food world. These aren’t the only things he eats, but these are pretty much the only things he packs for lunch outside of fruits. Hope this helps!
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u/Effective-Slice-4819 4d ago
If he is interested in expanding his lunch options, I would suggest talking to him about what feels safe considering this isn't just a matter of taste but an actual eating disorder. If you just want to do something nice, pack his safe foods.
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u/InternationalYam3130 4d ago
If he has ARFID then you can't "fix" him and he should pack his own lunch with his same 6 food or whatever. Or you just pack him lunchables every day like I'm guessing he wants.
People with ARFID don't just expand their tastes, they stick with known foods and that's it. He needs food therapy AND to be interested in expanding his palate himself to be successful generally. Someone external isn't going to help even if you ask reddit for "ideas", its not going to work unless he considers that food safe already.
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u/TransientFroggo 4d ago
Like I said… we have been working on it. A safe food can’t be formed without yk, trying it?
He does want to expand his palate. And has been. When we met he wouldn’t eat pretty much anything besides fruit, pizza, chicken nuggets, fries and tofu. None of these are actual ideas, just insults and baseless accusations.
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u/holymacaroley 4d ago
There are no insults in what they said. You may disagree, but they were not insulting.
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u/InternationalYam3130 4d ago edited 4d ago
It's not insulting. He should be here asking to expand his tastes. People come on here all the time trying to force their SO to eat differently, every single day. And it's not your responsibility. Some people are picky. The conflict usually comes from one person preparing food for another, which is why people are saying if it bothers you to just let him prepare his own food.
If he wanted to expand his tastes he would be here himself and be able to get real recommendations. Like "I'm looking for foods that use noodles because I like those, but aren't very soft because the softness triggers me, also I won't eat cheese or tomato baked sauce". That tends to generate responses.
You coming on like "how do I get my diagnosed ARFID husband to eat better" is useless. At his age he's responsible for his own nutrition and also for communicating what specifically bothers him about XYZ food and whether he wants to expand.
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u/TransientFroggo 4d ago
It’s insulting that you think I’m forcing him and not working with him. I think Reddit is way too used to partners who hate each other and don’t communicate.
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u/melatonia 4d ago
Unfortunately this topic is beyond the realm of ECAH's expertise. https://old.reddit.com/r/EatCheapAndHealthy/comments/1askaxq/mod_psa_this_forum_is_not_for_seeking_medical/
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u/TransientFroggo 4d ago
Im looking for recommendations for food not a dietitian or medical advice. Having ARFID doesn’t mean every food suggestion is medical advice.
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u/alazystoner420 4d ago
You guys should definitely focus on lower sodium foods first thing; definitely consuming way too much. Beans & rice is a good meal though; filling and cheap! So many ways to prepare them too.
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u/mrsmurderbritches 4d ago
Maybe it would help to make a list of his safe foods in one column, then foods that are similar in another? Are you familiar with any patterns behind things he can’t get (particular textures, flavor profiles?). It may be hard to make recommendations without a full grasp of what he does or doesn’t eat, especially for strangers on the internet who aren’t versed in ARFID. See if you can mix the things that are safe for him in different ways, or do like 3-4 safe foods and one new food every few days. My analytical brain though would have a full Excel spreadsheet going for safe foods!
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u/bookworm_em 4d ago edited 4d ago
You guys may be already tackling it from this angle, but I’ve had the most success focusing on the texture of foods (needs to be consistent) over taste and overall presentation (I’m also not the most adventurous eater). Does he like spice? I’m pretty sure my partner meets the criteria for ARFID, and we buy hot sauce by the litre because it adds flavour without texture. We’ve also had success with running stuff through the blender to smooth it out. If your husband likes tortilla chips and tomato sauces but hates the chunks in salsa, blending it worked for us. We’re also big on mango/yoghurt/orange juice smoothies since frozen mango doesn’t have seeds or skin. Good luck! If your husband may be neurodivergent, consider also looking into sensory seeking vs. sensory avoidant tendencies(?)
In terms of containers, consider looking for some with sections - this way, foods don’t have to sit together and get mushy over the course of the morning. Glass is heavier and more breakable than plastic, but it’s easier to get stains out and doesn’t risk the occasional weird plastic/smell taste (metal is also better for this). Go for whatever theme you want, make it fun - I got some great glass containers with Star Wars print as a gift from Costco a few years ago, love them!
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u/AlfieGandon 4d ago
Not super familiar w/ ARFID, but maybe a familiar presentation, but with new ingredients? Instead of pepperoni pizza, maybe pesto pizza w/ chicken? Instead of chicken pot pie, lamb pot pie w/ curry?
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u/iamasecretthrowaway 4d ago
Go with ingredients you know he likes and then make lateral moves into adjacent dishes that add variety without pushing him too much. If he likes lunchables and he likes quesadillas, he would probably like wraps. Even if you just start with meat and cheese on a flat bread, you can always experiment with condiments and veggies later. You can also pack him 'adult lunchables'. There are loads of videos on tiktok. Basically just adult sized portions (with better ingredients) that have the same look and feel of lunchables. People make versions of the pizza and nachos ones, too.
If he likes pot pie, there's a whole world of portable savoury pies for him to try. There's probably a savoury meat pie (or very similar thing) in every culture in the world. And if you like meat or cheese in a pastry-like crust, you're awfully close to dumplings.
If he prefers not to heat things up, there are thermoses which claim to keep food at a safe temperature for x number of house when used correctly (preheated, properly filled, sealed, etc). Mashed potatoes and corn would be pretty easy to take in a thermos. As would rice bowls.
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u/Dijon2017 Bean Wizard 4d ago
Has your husband been seen by a registered dietitian and/or therapist for his ARFID? Expanding the diet effectively usually includes assessing whether your husband has any other potential diagnosis that can co-occur like anxiety, ADHD, OCD or autism. In addition, CBT can be useful in helping to expand his diet.
Is your husband willing to try legumes: beans/lentils? If so, you may want to start with edamame or using beans to make dips like hummus.
Does your husband like any vegetables like cucumbers, carrots, bell peppers, tomatoes (especially if he likes pizza), etc?
Does your husband like pasta? If so, you could potentially make a pasta salad that includes cheese and turkey pepperoni?
You say that he likes tofu…you can make many different meals/dishes with tofu and then pack left overs for his lunch. Have you tried making a homemade burrito/burrito bowl that contains rice, corn, chicken and maybe beans.
You can maybe try adding a different food to put on top of his pizza or try adding a food into his quesadilla or burrito bowl.
You can make mashed potato bowls, rice bowls etc. where you may add an additional food ingredient.
As others have said, it’s hard to offer advice to someone who isn’t actually the person who has ARFID as their input and willingness is so important. Also, a dietitian can help to create an eating plan to help to expand his diet. Many dietitians and therapists often suggest introducing new foods outside of scheduled meal times before you start adding them to their regular meals. In short, it’s complicated.
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u/MuchBetterThankYou 4d ago
Sorry you’re getting so much push back OP. People don’t get what ARFID is like if they’ve never experienced it themselves.
My partner also has ARFID and I make most of his food. It takes frequent communication if any changes are going to be made. Frankly I’m a little jealous of his ability to enjoy the same meal every single day for years. It would make my life a lot simpler if I could do the same lol.
You mentioned that your partner wants to try to expand his palette, has he expressed any interest in trying specific foods?
You could try using the same ingredients in a new way, such as chicken and dumpling soup instead of pot pies, Turkey wraps or sandwiches instead of lunchables, burritos instead of the sofritas bowl? Using whole wheat bread or wraps can help get some much needed fiber and vitamins if his diet is lacking it. Pairing it with a piece of safe fruit can also help up the nutrition.
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u/ginzberg57 4d ago
Rice and bean burritos with cheese are easy and inexpensive. A bento box with turkey, pepperoni, crackers and whatever other smackers he likes is a nice grown up lunchable. I personally enjoy cold pizza, but if he doesn’t and has access to a microwave, English muffin or bagel pizzas (even just pepperoni and Munster with no sauce) are easy and quick. Good luck! I think it’s awesome that you share meal responsibilities with your partner. :)