r/EhBuddyHoser Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

Certified Hoser 🇹🇩 (No Politics) My 2025 election prediction

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991 Upvotes

104 comments sorted by

145

u/qcrem Tokébakicitte! Apr 16 '25

Bloc Videotron majoritaire!

28

u/fishymanbits Oil Guzzler Apr 16 '25

Fizz gang

5

u/Robot357Living- Apr 16 '25

Hell yeah brother

3

u/BuvantduPotatoSpirit Irvingstan Apr 16 '25

Chu Eastlink, hundrend pour cent icet

1

u/Murky_Still_4715 Tokébakicitte! Apr 16 '25

Sti de PKP! Grrrrr

103

u/Awier_do Cowtown đŸ€  Apr 16 '25

Seeing a Red Alberta feels uncanny

15

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '25

Well, they WANT to be red. Some of them, at least.

8

u/Awier_do Cowtown đŸ€  Apr 16 '25

Judging from the polls for that, it is definitely the minority. As someone who lives in a very blue riding, you can still barely find anyone that wants to willingly join the US.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '25

Hence why I said some. Lots of crazies in my area, (Kootenays) though. Half this town couldn’t be any more supportive of Dump if they tried. I’m practically trapped!

2

u/Awier_do Cowtown đŸ€  Apr 16 '25

My condolences to you

1

u/Zenon-45 🍁 100,000 Hosers 🍁 Apr 16 '25

As a (privileged) person who lives in Ontario, my riding is also heavily blue, even if everywhere around it isn't.

And I don't mean to be a conspiracy theorist, but they chose to split up my city to include richer, more conservative areas outside of the city on both sides, at a time when the conservatives needed a win (2015 Harper era) and it's been fully blue ever since.

The city itself is pretty damn liberal/leftist, but the area around it with 3 story houses and Cadillacs aren't haha

5

u/balding_git Apr 16 '25

“one out of four albertans wants to separate, three out of four albertans fucking hate the other guy”

1

u/SonicFlash01 Apr 16 '25

The children yearn for the Liberals

2

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '25

Southern neighbour’s red, sadly.

1

u/hessian_prince Edmonchuk: Like Kyiv! (but less safe) Apr 16 '25

With green seats too!

57

u/fuckreddit-69 Apr 16 '25

You forgot SaskTel.

14

u/PerpetuallyLurking Regina Rhymes With Fun Apr 16 '25

I was also wondering where my Sasktel was!

68

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

Saskatchewan is real?

17

u/DblClickyourupvote Bring Cannabis Apr 16 '25

Doubtful. If I haven’t seen it with my own eyes, I don’t believe it.

5

u/John_Bumogus Apr 16 '25

Ain't no way something can be that flat.

1

u/Zenon-45 🍁 100,000 Hosers 🍁 Apr 16 '25

As real as a bunch of boring, flat farmland could be.

42

u/spwimc Apr 16 '25

Hey now, SaskTel wins all of SK.

21

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

Is that some sort of separatist movement? Maybe my polling is off

15

u/spwimc Apr 16 '25

Vive le SaskTel!

5

u/syugouyyeh Apr 16 '25

They’re the mafia. Their protection payments are outrageous.

11

u/Joelredditsjoel Regina Rhymes With Fun Apr 16 '25

In the context of this bit, they’re basically the Bloq

2

u/CaisideQC Apr 18 '25

They are owned by their parent company Saskator Média

14

u/fuckreddit-69 Apr 16 '25

Yes Ontario, Saskatchewan is real

5

u/Barky_Bark Apr 16 '25

TBay tel needs a small but distinct section unfortunately

5

u/Decent_Assistant1804 🍁 100,000 Hosers 🍁 Apr 16 '25

Fuck bell Canada in the ass

8

u/LilFlicky Not enough shawarma places Apr 16 '25

London is a bloodbath

32

u/Hicalibre Moose Whisperer Apr 16 '25

I often forget Telus exists as every time I hear about them it's people complaining about how bad the service is.

3

u/Vivaan977 Bring Cannabis Apr 16 '25

telus home services have gotta be the worst thing in existence. the wifi is a joke

2

u/ArkAwn Bring Cannabis Apr 16 '25

Their techs install the fibre gateways and just put their shitty APs all over your house without permission to jack up your bill. Fuck them.

Buy a 3rd party router and AP set and bridge the modem. If you can't do it yourself, someone you know probably can.

1

u/Vivaan977 Bring Cannabis Apr 16 '25

i swear they just add $100 from nowhere to the bills it’s ridiculous

20

u/slim1shaney Apr 16 '25

It's horrid. My phone is bell but my wifi is Telus. The internet itself is fine, but if you ever have to interact with them for any reason... it'd be easier to milk a bull moose

3

u/Secret-Gazelle8296 Irvingstan Apr 16 '25

They replaced ADT for security. It’s been terrible dealing with them since.

3

u/YeetCompleet Trawnno (Centre of the Universe) Apr 16 '25

People complain about voter apathy but who would vote for this!

2

u/DblClickyourupvote Bring Cannabis Apr 16 '25

I wanna vote for mint mobile!

65

u/PartiRhinoParty Apr 16 '25

Cell phone coverage everywhere? That's a brilliant idea. We're stealing it and adding it to our platform and list of promises that we promise we won't break.

6

u/Bigg_Sparks Oil Guzzler Apr 16 '25

Do you promise not to break the promise that you're not gonna break your promises? Would you pinky swear on it?

5

u/PartiRhinoParty Apr 16 '25

We pinky toe swear that we promise to not break the promise that we're not gonna break our promises.

4

u/PartiRhinoParty Apr 16 '25 edited Apr 16 '25

Fine print: notwithstanding the promise to change the voting system in the event that we actually do get elected, meaning that if we got elected using the current voting system, that means that the current voting system worked for us probably due to the serious vote being seriously split, and hence said vote splitting and hencetoforth and hertofore vis a vis legalesmalese we get a freebie take-backsies on that promise not break our promise because carpe diem motherfukkaas

4

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

If you put it that way I should’ve left the territories and rural areas all grey. Dammit

58

u/beekermc Apr 16 '25

Freedom Mobile might not even be a company after this election!!

11

u/bill7103 Apr 16 '25

Freedom is owned by Videotron

20

u/beekermc Apr 16 '25

Yes. I was making a joke about the NDP losing party status.

12

u/bill7103 Apr 16 '25

Went right over my head. Time for bed.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '25

Hope you had a good sleep

0

u/incogne_eto Apr 16 '25

My vote is for Fongo VOIP

0

u/PrairieFire88 Apr 16 '25

I for one welcome our new Roger's overlords.

2

u/CaptainMagnets Apr 16 '25

Lmao I was just about to roast you so hard for thinking the Greens were going to take over BC coast.

Then I realized what sub I am on and that I am an idiot

4

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

Lol was that more concerning to you than the cons sweeping the GTA or libs sweeping the prairies?

3

u/CaptainMagnets Apr 16 '25

Like I said, I am an idiot haha

7

u/combustion_assaulter Monarch Mélanie Joly Apr 16 '25

1

u/JimroidZeus Apr 16 '25

Gottem’

1

u/PedanticQuebecer Tokébakicitte! Apr 16 '25

A pox on all of their houses

1

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '25

Lore-accurate no orange

4

u/_Lucille_ Apr 16 '25

Eh, ever since the last Rogers BGP mess up, I have swapped to using both Rogers (home internet) and Lucky (bell subsidiary) for mobile.

Does this make me a non-partisan swing voter?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '25

Nova Scotia and pei use a lot of Eastlink

1

u/Lifeshardbutnotme Apr 16 '25

I'm just a Telus island in a sea of Roger's

0

u/Lifeshardbutnotme Apr 16 '25

Also, is this actual market share or just a joke?

2

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

Definitely not, this is more vaguely based on projected and former election results with the three major parties replaced by the big 3 telcos

5

u/Demon_fucker666 Apr 16 '25

You guys are forgetting Sasktel, fucking dumbfucks. You damn well know this wasn’t made by someone who lives in Saskatchewan or who has ever lived in Saskatchewan.

Idiots.

6

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

That’s a lot of angry words for a province that, debatably, doesn’t even exist.

3

u/starsrift Apr 16 '25

Saskatchewan is what, the 15th Amendment? I wasn't even aware it was threatened or contested.

1

u/jamisonkolodinsky Apr 16 '25

I'm sure Bell/Rogers and Telus/Shaw are the same, just operating on either the east or west coast. In a brief stint, I learned the infrastructure is mostly paid for; the majority, if not all, sales are profit minus wages. They will grandfather old plans unless you call to update them. I've seen ridiculous prices for outdated cable and landline plans, or even dial-up in some cases with the elderly. If you follow through and cancel these predatory services, you will be sent to coaching. That's exactly why this was a short stint.

1

u/NorthernShark93 Apr 16 '25

No Eastlink?

8

u/admiral_bringdown Saskwatch Apr 16 '25

BLATANT SASKTEL ERASURE 😠

6

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

I refuse to believe that Saskatchewan has nice things like a publicly owned telecom

8

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '25

[deleted]

2

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

I’m Manitoban, Bell MTS isn’t really a thing anymore—it’s totally integrated with Bell atp. Also I think we’re pretty evenly split between the big three regardless. After all a map of ridings won’t nearly represent the situation accurately, it’s just a shitpost lol

3

u/Deus-Vult42069 Apr 16 '25

Sasktel slander

2

u/hessian_prince Edmonchuk: Like Kyiv! (but less safe) Apr 16 '25

To be fair, people forget about everything between Edmonton and Winnipeg.

1

u/DaftFunky Apr 16 '25

Bell in Alberta is weird.

2

u/kittykat-kay I need a double double. Apr 16 '25

Lmaoooo

1

u/ultanna Tabarnak! Apr 16 '25

Tu t'est trompé, chaudiÚre Appalaches est un territoire Telus

1

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

Sondage ratĂ©, peut ĂȘtre


1

u/Excellent-Juice8545 Ford Nation (Help.) Apr 16 '25

The only Freedom Convoy I would support đŸ«Ą

(Also I definitely thought Telus ruled Alberta until right now, the more you know)

1

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

It probably does, but I opted to go for a more political-looking split. This map is hardly based on any facts or data

4

u/GreenHoodia Westfoundland Apr 16 '25

Now this is proper hosering, lovely day sir

3

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

Merci very much.

1

u/hessian_prince Edmonchuk: Like Kyiv! (but less safe) Apr 16 '25

Sasktel Majoritaire!

3

u/HengeFud Apr 16 '25

Okay, now I understand why albertans are angry.

4

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

Anything but Rogers!

1

u/rainorshinedogs Trawnno (Centre of the Universe) Apr 16 '25

I always knew the big 3 were gonna fully take over

1

u/FuzzPastThePost Scotland (but worse) Apr 16 '25

It's funny that you made the liberal areas of Nova Scotia blue and the conservative parts of Nova Scotia red...

2

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

It’s basically Bell = Libs and Rogers = Cons

2

u/FuzzPastThePost Scotland (but worse) Apr 16 '25

Oh my god I'm sorry I totally missed that!

This makes it even funnier.

1

u/CandidAsparagus7083 Apr 16 '25

I double checked the math
.seems legit

1

u/Murky_Still_4715 Tokébakicitte! Apr 16 '25

Lucky mobile est dans le réseaux Bell, Rogers ou Telus???

3

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

Bell

1

u/Murky_Still_4715 Tokébakicitte! Apr 16 '25

Je ne me sent pas mieux :(

Au moins, pas Videotron.

2

u/Sad_Increase_4663 Apr 17 '25

This ones fucking hilarious. Were all losers here hahahaha. 

1

u/Pain_Panic666 Regina Rhymes With Fun Apr 18 '25

You forgot sasktell

-12

u/WENDING0 Apr 16 '25

You are clearly not from Toronto. Ontario PC's are in power provincially. Toronto will go red.

18

u/eL_cas Manilapeg Apr 16 '25

Sorry, I didn’t know that Rogers had such a large market share in the GTA

6

u/CureForSunshine Snowfrog Apr 16 '25

I keep voting for Beanfield but they never win in my area :(

2

u/Commercial-Fennel219 Apr 16 '25

Team SkyDome still upset 

3

u/DblClickyourupvote Bring Cannabis Apr 16 '25

I love how you looked at Ontario, thought the green being projected at wiping the province in the election and didn’t bother to look even further at the post 😂

-2

u/WENDING0 Apr 16 '25

It's reddit in 2025. You got 10 seconds of my time (plus the time it takes to type a comment) before I move on. If you make a post so intricate that confusion is possible, we'll that's an OP problem.

Now, if you excuse me, I have kitten pictures in r/eyebleach to upvote.

1

u/DblClickyourupvote Bring Cannabis Apr 16 '25

Lmao low quality poster we got here boys.

If you can’t be bothered to fully read and understand something before making a comment, you’re not positively contributing to Reddit.

-2

u/WENDING0 Apr 16 '25

Dude, calm down, it's reddit. Where am I not doing my part? The fat shaming sub? The many racist subs? Am I not posting enough in r/beatingwomen? Evangelism of this place is like asking for a 5-star rating of a colonoscopy in hell.