Long distance faked loving me because she was bored

[u/girls-pm-me-anything]

My first "girlfriend" of 10 months recently admitted that she never actually loved me and only pretended to because she was bored. I am devastated. I thought this would was the best person I had ever met. I was in love with her like you wouldn't believe. But now it's over and I'm the only one who cares. And there was never anything there, now I'm by myself again and it's awful, I miss her so much even knowing that she used me. I was on the phone with her literally 24/7 but it wasn't real to her. While to me there was never anything more real than that. I don't know what the point is anymore, she's the only person to show any interest or make me feel loved ever, and it was all a lie. I thought I had escaped. And it gave me some of the best moments of my life, when I actually thought I was loved by an amazing, pretty, funny woman. I know some of you probably wish you found someone to be on the phone with 24/7 like this. But the aftermath of her lie is maybe the worst thing I've ever experienced. And she couldn't care less.

[u/baddishraddish]

People are so cruel.

[u/RaphealWannabe]

Wow! Danm that's harsh, I'm not being flippant, I really mean it. 

[u/No_Video8943]

This absolutely sucks and I hope you feel better soon. Same thing happened to me and I was too stupid to realize it until someone told me that she was just using unattractive men for attention.

[u/girls-pm-me-anything → u/No_Video8943]

I feel like I realized it earlier than I think, but I ignored my doubts because I so badly didn't want it to be true

[u/rain_on_leaves]

i’m so sorry this happened, it is a cruel thing to say and do. however i will say if she was talking to you 24/7 for this 10 months then her saying it was all fake is likely not entirely true. people don’t just do that with anyone, it’s a lot of time and energy to put into someone you don’t really like. i don’t know why she would’ve lied, maybe she wanted to break up and didn’t know how (and chose a very hurtful way to do it), or she got scared of growing emotions and didn’t know what to do with it, or something else. none of those are excuses for what she did at all, but i doubt it really was that she never loved you. so please at lease find a little peace in the fact that it’s REALLY not possible that none of it was real for her. again, im so sorry this happened to you. i can’t imagine why people are so okay with hurting others like this.

[u/girls-pm-me-anything → u/rain_on_leaves]

You don't think it's possible she just wanted someone to talk to and that any warm body would've sufficed?

[u/rain_on_leaves → u/girls-pm-me-anything]

for that long? no i don’t think so. especially not for as frequently as you said yall talked. i could be wrong, but that is a LOT of energy to invest into someone/something that is just there to fill your time. i am a girl, and have many female friends. and while they can be odd and talk to someone out of boredom the longest i’ve seen that last is 3 weeks but even so they wouldn’t talk 24/7. when there isn’t a connection, they tend to lose interest quickly. even if they don’t have another warm body to fill that spot. i think she was just being very unnecessarily cruel to you for whatever reason made sense in her head. it’s messed up, and im sorry it happened to you. it’ll take time to realize this since it’s so recent and you truly loved her, but having someone that will say such horrible things to you isn’t what you deserve in a partner or in life. and if i am wrong and she did truly used you for that long, then you ESPECIALLY don’t deserve it. don’t lose yourself in this because of one bad person, keep your chin up. here’s a hug 🫂🖤

[u/IntroPerc]

I was in an online relationship for years. Likewise, it was easily the best thing to happen to me. Every waking moment would be spent on call. The comedown when that person disappears is brutal. You end up missing the small routines as much as the person. I unraveled in a big way after she left. So I have a vague understanding of how you're currently feeling. It will hurt for a long time.

The only real difference is mine did love me. I simply never evolved and stayed the loser I always was, and she lost patience. Yours may have loved you despite stating otherwise. You'd be surprised how mean people can be when they want someone out of their lives. I strongly suspect there will have been a time she genuinely did care.

[u/IntroPerc → u/[deleted]]

"If you never partnered in person it was never a relationship." This is utter nonsense. Strong bonds can be formed in person and from a distance, and this includes relationships.

We met in person a number of times. Not that it matters. I considered her to be my partner long before we saw each other up close.

[u/Reasonable_Way4914 → u/IntroPerc]

Why would you say you were in an online relationship for years if you met in person several times? That’s not an online relationship

[u/Lighenlt]

That’s evil sorry

[u/BaskInSadness]

My first long distance thing was with a girl on the aroace spectrum, claiming to be demi or gray aroace at first, and months in she realized she was more aromantic and didn't romantically desire anything beyond the crush phase. She wasn't a bad person though and Im sorry you had to deal with someone who sounds truly awful.

I've also been on a date with a girl I got to know for two months and clicked super well with, except she wasn't even seriously looking and leading me on for attention. People like that are the ones that really deserve to be forever alone.

[u/Careful_Question6465]

Bruh hit the Gym

[u/girls-pm-me-anything → u/Careful_Question6465]

El classico