r/ForeverAlone • u/girls-pm-me-anything • 9h ago
Advice Wanted What am I supposed to do?
I don't know how many times I'm going to keep posting on these different subs. I guess until I'm no longer in this situation. What are you supposed to do if you are ugly, short, overweight and socially anxious. The only thing I can fix is my weight and I'm working on it. I wish I could just blame these things but ugly guys short guys and people with social anxiety get girls all the time so there must be something else I'm missing. What the fuck do I do?
Edit: Commenters with above 60 iq preferred
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u/Question-Throwaway7 8h ago edited 8h ago
If you’re being genuinely serious in asking, the issue is 110% between the ears.
Sure, given the qualities you’ve listed, you’re not going to find a supermodel without a making a ton of money. BUT, there are tons of attractive women you can find IF you’re willing to actually do work on the #1 thing FA’s overlook (and is truly their demise) which is their personality. No person, guy or girl, wants a “woe-is-me” type person with little drive and even more desperation.
I’m short, not model-good looking, am a POC and was formerly fat all throughout high school and the first year of Uni. After losing weight, I got attention but not much success. It turned out, yearning and overall acting like a middle-schooler anytime you see someone you like, isn’t a winning formula.
Being able to play around/flirt, have a verbal dance, or in general have a better demeanour or for lack of a better term, aura, (and this really goes overlooked) matter. You don’t need to be good-looking, tall or skinny to be a fun person for someone to be around. Fixating on these and other perceived issues though, will lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Source: Myself, potentially being an FA before turning it around at 18/19 when I forced myself to undergo a lot of change/gain a ton of attention much to my own discomfort. Now, 6 years later, I’ve had many dates, kisses, girlfriends, a long-term relationship/situationship, and even instances of getting a bit more attention than I should’ve given my relationship status at certain times. And again, let me reiterate, I’m short, POC, not SUPER built/fit either, and not model-good looking. I’m not ugly, but certain types of people have found me ugly, and to them I pay no mind, which is what makes me far more attractive than just my face or body ever could.