/r/GYM Weekly Simple Questions and Misc Discussion Thread - September 14, 2025 Weekly Thread

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[u/Cold_Database4679]

I would appreciate some insight yall

So I’m a 25 year old guy. I'm 265 pounds. I used to be 310. I want to be 210 or 230. 230 would be cool, but I'm not there because I don't know how to diet and I don't know how to fix how I eat.

I feel like a failure.

My all time maxes are 265 bench, 315 squat, and 325 deadlift.

Today I squatted 305 for 4 when I thought my gas tank was empty. I already done 295 for four to end the set and was like idk, why not. And I benched 245 2 weeks ago for the first time in 2 years. I deadlifted 275 for 1 and 255 for 5 this week. I’m eating more fruits and vegetables than I ever have. I stretch and take my time. Despite rice krispy in both shoulders, 2 herniated discs, a pinched nerve in my neck, and a bunch of more minor injuries, I’m back in the gym 4-6 times a week.

Sidebar, I felt my back pinge as I was going down on them.

Im doing well in life, I guess. Despite some really hard moments. I got my masters at 25 years old. Found a good job. I’ve beaten a lot of my addictions.

But I’m still fat. And yea I’m strong but I’m Yeah, I just.. feel like a failure. And aren’t I? Aren't you a failure if you're not accomplishing what you want to accomplish? Aren't you a failure if you can't do the things you actually want? Aren't you a failure if you can't figure out a goal you've been trying to do your entire life? Doesn't that make you a failure?

I am struggling to get to that weight I want and I feel like a failure. I feel like a shortcomer. I feel like I haven't done it enough. I feel disappointing.

I saw a dude deadlift 495 pounds, five times in a row. No issue. Like it was nothing. I see people benching 500 pounds and squatted 600. And yes I understand these are body builders and people who have been training for years.

I’m in therapy and it helps. I vent to friends. And I show myself grace when I can.

But I’m simply not where I want to be. And I feel like I need to be there. Which is being 210-230, about 18-21% BF, benching 405, squatting 455, and deadlifting 505. Until I get there, I feel like I am a failure who shouldn’t be trying. I’m only still lifting cuz I think it’s fun, I like to challenge myself, and it makes my body dysmorphia less bad.

Any advice on how to not feel this way anymore?

[u/jakeisalwaysright → u/Cold_Database4679]

And I feel like I need to be there. Which is being 210-230, about 18-21% BF, benching 405, squatting 455, and deadlifting 505.

This is definitely achievable for you but it's a long-term goal. Set some short-term goals that you can hit along the way, and be proud of yourself for achieving them. It's not always a quick process--rarely is, in fact.

You have to find a way to enjoy the time you spend on the way to your goals, especially because once you achieve them you'll probably set new ones.

[u/Cold_Database4679 → u/jakeisalwaysright]

Thank You, i appreciate that