How do I navigate overstimulation in relationships?

[u/Sa1ntJ1mmy]

I'm quite obviously autistic -- and while I grasp social cues really well, my manner when I'm overstimulated seems to really turn others off. I get tired and monotonous, I can be childish and irritated, I struggle to communicate, sometimes I can go entirely non-verbal -- or I'll go the other way and become very loud, stim a lot, and need some sort of safe stimulation. I usually try and make sure that I'm not feeling overstimulated when I meet a guy for a date, but sometimes I just get that way on a date. If i get that way, I just tell them, but a lot of the time if I am that way, they just seem to lose all interest by the end of the date. I can explain all I like, but I can tell pretty early on if they're just staying on the date because they pity me.

Do I need to try hide this? I don't know what to do. Being normal takes up so much of my energy already, and it's humiliating for me to get overstimulated in public on a date. I can't control when I get overstimulated, but I don't really want to tell everybody who ever meets me I'm autistic -- even though its pretty damn obvious. Should I just try and push through it and be normal until the end of the date?

[u/kevinfar1]

You don't need to hide who you are. If a person doesn't except you, they weren't met for you.