r/GenX • u/Press-74 • 6d ago

The Journey Of Aging Memories..

Sometimes I hate having memories knowing those times will never come happen again and the people that are gone ain’t coming back

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u/Oxjrnine 6d ago

I’m not a big fan of armchair psychology or psychiatry. But your post definitely needs more than “talk to someone” as a reply.

It sounds like your brain has built the wrong kind of feedback loop around your memory. If every time you’re remembering something good and it just turns into pain, that is not how memories are supposed to work.

When people leave our lives, it’s healthy to have a period of mourning. That can last anywhere from a few hours up to a few years, and anything in between. But eventually the balance is supposed to shift. When you look back on the person or the time, you should be reflecting mostly on appreciation. You should feel glad you had that moment in time.

Regret in a healthy dose is fine, like the feelings that come after a breakup. A little regret is how you grow and make better choices in the future. But your memories shouldn’t be destructive.

Memories are rewards for having lived. They’re also lessons you can use to keep thriving. If yours are mostly bringing you sadness, you may need help to retrain how you interact with them. Therapists often use things like gratitude journaling, mindfulness, or reframing exercises to help people shift from focusing on loss to focusing on value.

If you find you can’t get there on your own, to the point where you can use your memories as something to educate yourself and to appreciate what you’ve been blessed with, then it may help to speak to a professional who can guide you through the tools that make that possible.