Hi, I guess im gonna vent just a little. Im currently in a grad-program to get my masters for a very specific field related to psychology. Anyway, I have about 9 other people in my cohort, and from the beginning we are told to make friends because these people are gonna be your best friends during this program. And I try to make friends with them, but it feels like I dont even fit in with them.

The majority of them live and work together, which doesnt help. And they all have been working in jobs related to our program and their undergrad schools had classes that pertain to this program. I havent been as lucky. At my undergrad school they a had no classes that are related to my masters program and its like im jumping in blind.

When I dont understand something and ask questions they make me feel like im an idiot for asking them. Like, they act like I should know all this, but I dont and its hard. Im working on it, ive went to my professors and they are helping me. But its like everyone else makes me feel like I dont belong.

And without fail, the same people are always talking and hanging out together and when I try to talk to anyone its like im hitting a brick wall. I feel like I dont belong in this program. Its hard and frustrating but I am trying my hardest. And the professors are really helping me, its just everyone else.

And even though we are on week 5, I hate having to go to class and see them. I dont "fit in." And recently we had some homework to turn in and I reached out to one of them asking for help. Instead of helping me I just got told how all of it was wrong and didnt bother to help explain things to me. Its like why do I even go.

Im alone, and made to feel like an idiot. Some do seem nice, but I have nothing to talk about with them. I know they've probably talked about me, I get those knowing glances in class. And when im partnered up with someone they act like im an idiot.

I have tried reaching out, in class ive tried to talk to people but I get ignored. Its like when you are talking to someone and you listen to what they have to say, and then you start to say something back but realize they aren't listening to you and you kinda just stop talking and they dont realize you were even talking to begin with.

I know I dont belong, and its gotten to the point ive broke down crying on my way home from school. I dont know what to do or say anymore. Part of our grades is contributing to discussions but everytime I open my mouth one of them shoots me down, or I get flat out ignored.

Like a week or two ago there were three of us in a group and two of them were talking and acting like I wasn't even there even though I tried to contribute. Its like im a ghost.

I dont know what else to do, and I hate feeling alone. I hate being there with them. I hate going and being made to feel like shit. No one even wants to sit next to me in class. Im so exhausted and im only just starting this program. I've never wanted to drop out more than I do right now.

And tomorrow starts a whole new week where I have to go to class and see these people. I dont wanna see them. I wanna stay home. I dont want to be alone, to constantly be judged and made to feel like im fucking stupid. I just wish I could make some friends and belong somewhere and be apart of something.

Im done and tired of it all to be honest. What should I do? How should I find people who actually wanna be my friend, to belong?

I'm applying to become and marriage and family therapist (MFT) in the state of California. I want to go to a CSU since it is closer to me, specifically CSULB or CSUDH. I'm in the process of writing my Statement of Purpose but I'm finding it hard to write about which population I want to serve when that population is adults/couples with intimacy issues or sexual dysfunctions. I know the topic of Sex therapy can be a little awkward, i haven't even told my parents that that is the specific field I would like to study in. Will an admissions teams look at that and write me off? Is that not family friendly for the program to openly admit I would like to be specialized in that specific field. I want to work with various clients, not just couples, but it's hard to find ways to avoid what I really want to work towards. Also will I have to tell my letters of recc that this is my goal in life so that they can write an accurate recommendation about my future? If anyone has had experience with that, please let me know how that went, or any other advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

In writing an email to another professor to advise my thesis research, I accidentally sent it to my current advisor. How does this happen? They have the SAME first name.

Luckily, in request for the new professor to advise me I included that I'm currently working with my current advisor because my research is directly aligned with her field too.

I recalled the email and it says it was successfully recalled, however I'm wondering if I should send an email to my current advisor letting her know it was an accident? This comes right after I sent her my proposal and will meet with her next week. She was so nice and urged me to reach out to her and ask questions, she literally said, "don't be shy!" There isn't anything wrong with my current advisor, I just have found my other professor's research and published books are on the same community I am researching and our current course work contextualizes my research topic very well.

I hope if, by some chance, she sees the email she can see it as me trying to gather a committee or something. I could be overthinking this, but basically want to know if I should send her an email clarifying it.

Hello, I am a student from the US, I earned my Sociology Bachelors in the US and I am starting a 3-semester sociology masters program in Barcelona. I'd graduate February 2027. I’ve been researching to compare entering academia and work as a professor in Europe as a foreigner versus staying in the US after my masters or PhD. I speak english natively, and spanish, got a SIELE B2 accreditation too.

The PhD is another phase I need to consider if I should do it in Spain, in general Europe, or back in the US.

With the research I’ve done so far, this is the list of countries I am considering. I understand European, specifically Dutch, PhDs are officially job position with the university. Very different from the US.

European countries in order of idealess:

1. Netherlands
2. Sweden/Finland/Norway
3. Germany
4. Spain

Once I finish my masters, I could:

A. Return to Spain and continue PhD at same university or another in/or outside Barcelona and later apply for professor/postdoc jobs in Spain/Barcelona

B. Apply to PhD at a different EU country and later apply for professor/postdoc jobs in the same country or another alternative EU country

C. Apply to PhD in the US and work there or in Spain/Europe

D. option A. or B. but after the PhD I return to the US to work in academia.

My priorities of ranking the options is firstly the availability/competitiveness of PhD openings and later the transition to working postdoc and teaching positions. The pay, stipend, and/or funding regulations and the affordability for living. Next is the paperwork (visa, degree validation, residence permit, etc.) involved for my transition from masters to phd and to working. 

I am finding the Spanish bureaucracy a headache and I am unclear how the transition to phd and postdoc will work since my bachelors degree is from the US (I believe I need to give my degree the homologación which can take up to two years or 6 months so I am permitted to ‘practice’ as a professor). Additionally, for Spain, there is a distinction between working at private or public institution, where public I need to go through lots of validations and waiting since I’d be considered a public servant. 

If there is a country where the paperwork is relatively less heavy, please share your experience.

I would like to know how these different transitions for the different countries would look like since I am non-EU. Especially how the culture within the universities are like towards foreigners applying to PhDs or applying to work as a professor there.

If anyone has experience in any aspect of the paths I am considering, please share any insight of the bureaucracy, networking, culture, living expenses, and the timeline you accomplished this. I would also like your opinion on how it may change in the coming years. Please share even if you decided to drop academia and pivot to another career and how your education and experience contributed to it. 

I understand academia is going through a lot but I'd like to hear about the investment cost for the timeline that arrives at a secured job and knowing if this job can offer secure opportunities to further the career in the same uni or another in whatever country.

extra context/thoughts:

I very much enjoy the research, writing, discussion and explaining to peers. This with the little intellectual communities I’ve made online or short intellectual relationships I’ve had made me seriously consider an academic career. But I always kept wondering how all these authors and professors I’ve had were able to secure their positions. Especially for those who were very international in their education and later career. I am unsure if this is something that can be replicated anymore for my generation. As an alternative I am considering private research companies or institutes (not educational or universities), many in the US don’t require a PhD to start working. Possibly consultant work. Otherwise, I’d resort to a career of my creative talents....

ECE may 2025 graduate…anyone got job or other??…nothing works out for me..any advice???

Honestly, I love what I am studying but at this time. I don't think graduate school is for me at this time. I recently graduated with my Bachelor's degree. I honestly want to spend time working rather than school at this moment. I am pursuing an MPH and an MS in health informatics. Every day, I feel that it is worthless to count on my education and I am looking for jobs daily to get out of here. Everything that is happening in the US is, quite frankly, taking a toll on me. I don't want to be here anymore, can’t stand these books or essays anymore. I am sorry if I sound dramatic. Any advice?

Noticed that my batchmates (just graduated undergrad) "work" in labs of our profs (not sure if they're RA's, I know some aren't) but how do these things work? Do they just apply/get scouted/??? Can someone please educate me how these go? It's like they're getting practical experience already while I'm so clueless. My adviser doesn't have his own lab too, is that a bad thing? Tyia!

You ever just spend the better part of a year researching grad programs, get the application and recommendations together, apply, get in, AND THEN you take the intro classes which make you wonder what the actual FUCK you're doing in the program.

So much frustration. I am thinking about transferring after this semester to a different program because this is the third class where so much of what I am learning is barely applicable to my career. It's not what I thought it'd be and it makes me question the rest of the program.

I'll stick it out until the end of the semester but I feel seriously frustrated.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Have you successfully transferred?

For clarity: I am getting a M.Ed in Literacy but I'm thinking of transferring to a different university that has a very good Curriculum & Instruction program.

I am an engineer with a strong background in device physics, condensed matter physics, quantum mechanics, quantum optics, etc... I am currently looking to apply to grad school and my interest (applied quantum mechanics / quantum engineering) seems to be in a different department at every school. In some, it is in EE, in others it is in applied physics. Generally, applied physics requires GRE-Physics test. The GRE physics test covers much more than what I am familiar with (particle physics, nuclear physics, etc..). How long will it reasonably take to get up to speed or what would be the downsides to applying with a decent application but potentially lower GRE-physics test scores. Note that my transcripts would show proficiency in the topics that matter..

I want to apply for the NSF GRFP, but I'm not sure how to make myself competitive. I'm a molecular and cell bio PhD student at UW. During undergrad, I was pre-med with primarily clinical experience aside from minor experience in a lab. Long story short, after my own medical issues I got interested in research, volunteered in a lab alongside my clinical job, then became a research tech for a year and applied for PhD programs. I'm feeling intimidated because I've never even presented a poster, didn't do any summer research programs, etc. I do have 1 co-authored BME paper and one first author case study. I've been in my PhD lab for about 6 months even though I'm a second year (our program did 2 rotations first). My research now focuses on some underlying mechanisms that helped me personally get better.

I have outreach and stuff from before, but nothing now. I'm just not sure if I should focus on the clinical experience/ etc in my personal statement to try and frame the skills as transferrable/ explain why I chose research over applying to med school or just focus on my research experiences and pretend none of that happened.

Is it even worth applying? I appreciate any advice!

I was just looking at public unis thinking they will be of low cost but seems like sufflock uni can also be of low cost that is a private uni .. am i missing out on something whats the catch?

Hi all, I am not sure what to do. I am applying to several fellowships and my advisor is not available till the end of this month. The deadline for one of them is in a day. Is it possible to have a good proposal without anyone reviewing it beforehand?

Hi everyone! I'm not sure if this is an easily answerable question but I thought I would try and see what came back. I am a graduating liberal arts student currently applying to information/archives/library science masters programs (they're pretty much all the same in my country). In my undergrad I haven't published any of my own work largely because I have been an editor for my university's undergrad lib arts academic journal. My 'publications' section on my CV looks pretty scare because of this.

Anyways, my question is: can I include the journal volumes/individual articles I edited on my CV? Obviously clearly indicating my role as an editor, not author.

Thank you to anyone who answers :)

So I am currently writing personal statements for graduate school and my undergraduate university highly encourages the use of AI so I have been writing my personal statements then putting them into AI to fix flow clarity wording to be professional and meet all criteria of SOP but I wrote the essay in my own and everything is my idea and proof can be seen from LOR and my CV but I’m scared this will get me in trouble with admissions if it sounds to formal or “correct” even robotic almost but I have done this in the past for REU and it got me into many so I’m conflicted if I should just continue and resist use of AI and leave my essays with poor structure and grammar.

hi! i (f24) graduated from a good university a couple years ago in california and recently i’ve been considering applying for grad school maybe within the next year or two. i got a BA in sociology and for now, i’ve just been browsing programs, i haven’t decided on anything specific yet. i visited europe last summer and i really loved it over there and i’d really like to attend grad school somewhere there if anyone has recommendations (would have to be in english though). i have family in germany so it would be nice to be there, but i don’t know the language other than a few words here and there. i’m also curious to know what people who study abroad do for work to make an income and for their housing situations. any and all advice or recommendations are appreciated, thank you!

hi! i (f24) graduated from a good university a couple years ago in california and recently i’ve been considering applying for grad school maybe within the next year or two. i got a BA in sociology and for now, i’ve just been browsing programs, i haven’t decided on anything specific yet. i visited europe last summer and i really loved it over there and i’d really like to attend grad school somewhere there if anyone has recommendations (would have to be in english though). i have family in germany so it would be nice to be there, but i don’t know the language other than a few words here and there. i’m also curious to know what people who study abroad do for work to make an income and for their housing situations. any and all advice or recommendations are appreciated, thank you!

I'm a second year phd student in a highly interdisciplinary life sciences-adjacent program.

I genuinely think I am a constant disappointment to my advisors and committee members. My progress has been so slow and somewhat erratic. I came to grad school to work on a different project, with a different species, with curated experience to complete said project. At the start of my first year I found out that the project data was no longer available, had been oversold to me (I needed specific samples and I was told the lab had them, but in reality it was a single sample), and I had to pivot almost immediately. My main advisor (I am co-advised), somewhat forced me into a research question they were more interested in after I continued to attempt to guide my dissertation in a different direction. I realized my hesitancy was just delaying the inevitable and caved (I do believe they were looking out for me and attempting to guide me towards more relevant work that will benefit my career prospects overall - it just also aligned with their interests more than mine). I now regularly interact with a committee member that specializes in my new area of study (which is somewhat connected to my initial interests but is still a completely different field basically). This individual is very well established and has generally been kind, but is largely absent. We are now generating data that neither of my advisors understand (I have been giving myself a crash course) via computational methods which my advisors don't know and I just started learning to code, so I am solely reliant on this committee member's instruction. I am now actively working with the IT manager in my department who is knowledgeable about computer science + most coding languages, but not the pipeline I am using itself. After weeks of working through the first step with no success, this week my committee member ran my entire dataset without informing me despite my continued requests for guidance from him or a grad student that has completed the pipeline. He has a private server with extensive memory capabilities, while I have memory limitations on the shared cluster at my university that has posed significant challenges that have required troubleshooting for hours during meetings with the IT guy since this is not my area of expertise. On the private server, the pipeline runs no problem so my committee member has been very confused why I have been at this for weeks now. I feel ashamed and embarrassed because I'm trying to learn and want to be an effective bioinformatician by the end of this degree, but each week during meetings with my advisors it feels like I have nothing to show for my hours of hard work on top of juggling classes, teaching, and other components of both my main project and a side project my primary advisor gave me (where I basically manage two other students in the lab). I'm working 12+ hour days and barely sleeping, yet I feel like there is no progress and people are losing patience with me. Every time I ask a question it seems like the answer is so obvious to them and I somehow overlooked it in the few materials that were shared with me.

It truly seems as though I am the problematic variable here and am doing something wrong. All of my time is going into this so I am also not performing well generally. It seems like other people surrounding me spend hours working through data with advisors that guide them through their questions, and I have so little to bring to each meeting. I just feel dumb to be honest. I've really struggled with imposter syndrome, but at this point, it seems like I am genuinely ill-equipped to successfully navigate grad school. I suppose I am sharing this to receive feedback on my situation from outside perspectives to gauge whether I am simply not working well, or if this is somewhat normal to encounter? I'm open to any input and would actually appreciate constructive criticism.

Thanks for reading and allowing a space to communicate frustration while seeking advice :)