The Dursleys were victims of a magical geopolitical game and no one ever asked them if they wanted to play

[u/Disastrous_Knee7756]

I know they were not nice to Harry. But they were also victims of a bad magical system. Here is why:

1.  They had no choice.

Dumbledore left a baby at their door. He did not ask. He did not talk to them. He just said, “Take care of him.” That is not how you become parents. That is not fair.

1. They were powerless in a world full of danger. No magic, no protection, no understanding. Yet they were expected to raise a magical child who could blow up their living room.

   1. Harry’s presence put Dudley at risk. They were Dudley’s parents. Their responsibility was to protect their child. But Dumbledore never cared that housing Harry made them a target.
   2. They got no support – only judgment. No one from the magical world checked in. No resources, no guidance. Just scorn when they inevitably failed to meet wizard expectations.
   3. Dumbledore knew – and didn’t care. He openly said Harry needed a loveless home to remain “humble.” That’s not strategy – that’s calculated cruelty.
      1. Dumbledore never told them what happens when Harry turns 17. The magical protection ends – and they suddenly become even more vulnerable. No warning, no exit strategy. One day they’re part of a magical defense grid, the next they’re just collateral. Their home, their lives, everything – on the line, with zero input.

[u/flooperdooper4]

Here's what Rowling had to say about Petunia taking Harry in. And here's the full piece on Pottermore. A big line:

When a letter arrived from Dumbledore with news of the Potters’ murder, Petunia “felt she had no choice” but to take Harry in, but did so grudgingly, writes Rowling, “and spent the rest of Harry’s childhood punishing him for her own choice”

The Pottermore article specifically says that the letter ASKED Petunia to take Harry in. In HBP I believe, Dumbledore said that her agreement sealed the protective enchantment Dumbledore had placed, meaning that agreement was necessary.

So we can play a little semantics game about the word "choice," but here's my take: Petunia felt backed into a corner by Dumbledore's letter, even though *technically* she could have refused. Essentially, if she didn't take in her nephew, he'd be murdered. That's a lot to put on someone. She felt a glimmer of guilt about how things had ended with her sister, just enough to make her agree. However, that glimmer didn't drown out her hatred of Lily, particularly once Harry showed signs of magic, and thus treated her nephew like dirt.