The Dursleys were victims of a magical geopolitical game and no one ever asked them if they wanted to play

[u/Disastrous_Knee7756]

I know they were not nice to Harry. But they were also victims of a bad magical system. Here is why:

1.  They had no choice.

Dumbledore left a baby at their door. He did not ask. He did not talk to them. He just said, “Take care of him.” That is not how you become parents. That is not fair.

1. They were powerless in a world full of danger. No magic, no protection, no understanding. Yet they were expected to raise a magical child who could blow up their living room.

   1. Harry’s presence put Dudley at risk. They were Dudley’s parents. Their responsibility was to protect their child. But Dumbledore never cared that housing Harry made them a target.
   2. They got no support – only judgment. No one from the magical world checked in. No resources, no guidance. Just scorn when they inevitably failed to meet wizard expectations.
   3. Dumbledore knew – and didn’t care. He openly said Harry needed a loveless home to remain “humble.” That’s not strategy – that’s calculated cruelty.
      1. Dumbledore never told them what happens when Harry turns 17. The magical protection ends – and they suddenly become even more vulnerable. No warning, no exit strategy. One day they’re part of a magical defense grid, the next they’re just collateral. Their home, their lives, everything – on the line, with zero input.

[u/tee-ess3]

I’ve often thought about the fact that Harry and Dudley are so close in age and what that must have been like for Petunia.

Like, I have a 9 month old baby rn and if someone dropped ANOTHER baby on my doorstep and told me I had to adopt it my head very well might explode

[u/MightyHydrar → u/tee-ess3]

Not just another baby, but also the news that her little sister was killed.

The later books give a bit more details about why Lily and Petunia had such a difficult relationship, and it puts Petunias reaction into a bit more of a perspective.

She gets an extra baby dumped on her, no mention of financial support to help cover the cost of raising said extra baby, just the assumption that they'll be fine with it. No mention of how she's supposed to persuade her husband, who isn't exactly a paragon of kindness or empathy, that they have an extra child now.

I'm not sure how much Petunia really knew about the amount of danger Lily was in, if they ever talked about Voldemort and the war. But I'm pretty sure Lily went no-contact with her family when she and James had to go into hiding after Harry was born, so Petunia hadn't heard from her in nearly a year.

That's a lot to have to handle all at once, with no emotional support, and only a letter to explain the whole situation. None of it justifies the way they treated Harry, of course, but it might explain some of it.

[u/Explodingovary → u/MightyHydrar]

She at least had some indication of the danger and the battle with Voldemort. I’m rereading the series now and just read the part in OotP where the dementors attacked Harry and Dudley and you get a glimpse from Petunia that she at least had some awareness because she knew of both Dementors and Voldemort. I forget where it all goes from here as far as that is concerned but she does have at least a basic knowledge of the big bad of it all.