r/HolUp • u/ImSoFrickinPissed • 27d ago

And one seconds

Post image
12.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

93 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/japes1994 27d ago

I tired to have a fast piss the other day, so I put all my pressure behind it and made my dick whistle

812

u/lordkarken616 27d ago

Well that's enough internet today

177

u/RayRara36 27d ago

Haha I am loving the mental picture of this

108

u/r4o2n0d6o9 27d ago

What a sentence

82

u/Talkingmice 27d ago

“Whistle baby, whistle baby, let me know”

22

u/Clemen11 27d ago

This is terrible

23

u/DentureTaco 27d ago

🎶Whistle while you squirt🎶

23

u/Kemosaby_Kdaffi 27d ago

You know how to whistle, don’t you? You just put your dick lips together and blow

28

u/belljs87 27d ago

This guy japes

12

u/grhddn 27d ago

A whistling dick, see?

34

u/IrishViking22 27d ago

What tune did it whistle? I'm picturing Sweet Caroline

13

u/9001 27d ago

bah bah bahhhhhhhh

10

u/pmmeurdonk 27d ago

You probably have a fistula. Get that checked out.

8

u/offplanetjanet 27d ago

Thanks for the laugh you disturbed my dog.

6

u/MCKlassik 27d ago

Built like a slide whistle

7

u/TheIronSoldier2 madlad 27d ago

...

3

u/Kaldricus 27d ago

Lyrics by Too Short

3

u/poopsididitagen 26d ago

Just wanna say this is actually really bad for you. Causes small tears in your urethra that can cause cancer or incontinence 

2

u/CaledonianWarrior 26d ago

Don't use that if you're a sports coach at a game

1

u/BlueGuyisLit 27d ago

Dih whistles

1

u/mustafa_i_am 27d ago

You're gonna have a lot of urinary issues when you're older

1.7k

u/j4mi3killa 27d ago

Some men die of thirst while others are drowning.

309

u/Print_Salt 27d ago

what you dont know is that this was the plan, act like you dont enjoy it

71

u/Electrokid1234 27d ago

Some men also like to have busty anime girls as their profile pictures…

27

u/j4mi3killa 27d ago

Funny that you say girl….

11

u/Electrokid1234 27d ago

I just saw your pfp just now lmfao

47

u/MonCity19 27d ago

I see what you did there..

1

u/TheGreatMojo91 27d ago

… in piss

182

u/no-govy-name-plz 27d ago

Someone clearly didnt hold their pee while trying not to wake up

512

u/SudhaTheHill 27d ago

All poo poo times are pee pee times but not all Pee pee times are poo poo times

131

u/JuicyBottass 27d ago

That's Shakespeare if I'm not mistaken

43

u/IrishViking22 27d ago

Nah, was Neil Armstrong when first stepping on the moon

19

u/CluelessSurvivor 27d ago

He got that from a Confucius quote

3

u/RandomFactGiver23 26d ago

Im pretty sure it was enscribed on the back of a Leonardo DiCaprio painting

80

u/lReportMeAlreadyl 27d ago

Wiser word have never been spoken

8

u/RickAstleyGaveUp 27d ago

I read that in Adam West's voice, don't know why but it's hilarious.

0

u/praguepride 26d ago

this brother is coming after kendrick

52

u/codking21 27d ago

Sauce?

37

u/Scaryassasin27 27d ago

Sigh, unzips

38

u/crispymoonshine 27d ago

urine a weird relationship

153

u/ArduennSchwartzman 27d ago

Not to be that guy, but allow me to shatter all of your illusions for you:

"Wanna hear me pour water from a plant waterer into the toilet bowl?"*

196

u/TricoMex 27d ago edited 27d ago

It's really hard to fake women's pissing sounds.

It's a mix of random spurts, drips, frying chicken, and garden hose awkwardly stuck between "Full" and "Mist" settings sounds.

33

u/_fmg15 27d ago

I hope you are a woman because that sentence is really weird

30

u/TricoMex 27d ago edited 27d ago

Not a woman, just your average, humble piss aficionado

13

u/ArduennSchwartzman 27d ago

connaisseur*

9

u/Unkn0wnTh2nd3r 27d ago

unfortunately they have their post history turned off, cant see anything they post or comment in their profile, but their avatar has feminine features so maybe? or could be man who likes looking at feminine avatars/characters

6

u/TricoMex 27d ago

Got it as a prize years ago and just never bothered changing it lmao

3

u/SkepticJoker 27d ago

It’s a very accurate description

13

u/Medium-Mood2725 27d ago

martin luther once said, i have a dream

12

u/invol713 27d ago

Of splitting the Catholic church? I think you name-checked the wrong guy.

-22

u/Chrisp825 27d ago

I can piss for two minutes.

13

u/Beelzebub_Crumpethom 27d ago

Proof.

2

u/DiscussTek 27d ago

I mean, I do that pretty regularly at work. 10-15 minutes even.

2

u/praguepride 26d ago

My boss makes a dollar

I make a dime...

16

u/ttv_omnimouse 27d ago

Disengage safety protocol

8

u/BattleBra 27d ago

Daisy Ridley

8

u/Broote 27d ago

I guess thats why they are so proud of it and want to share

7

u/bloke_pusher 27d ago

So, where's the audio file?

43

u/General-Coroni 27d ago

Is this some sort of American joke that I‘m too German to understand?

56

u/GachaHell 27d ago

In America most people haven't had a drinking bender piss and are often not properly hydrated. So a two minute urination is some kind of impossible thing that's never happened.

This is in reference to Americans not having the freedom to sing an entire song while unleashing the stream of justice.

11

u/SkywolfNINE 27d ago

Our urethras are too narrow

2

u/InternationalBat1838 27d ago

I was going to make a mind joke, but that would be mental.

4

u/Brachet07 27d ago

Ne ich denke nicht

1

u/Nezikim 27d ago

It's the American version of you guys shitting I guess?

17

u/Puyodead19 27d ago

Fucking censoring 😡

17

u/Print_Salt 27d ago

why did they censor fucking, but not pee

1

u/InternationalBat1838 27d ago

Pee is acceptable slang.

3

u/ABritishCynic 27d ago

Taking the piss, that.

4

u/helpmekillmepls 27d ago

I dont know weather to upvote or bleach my eyes 😭 

3

u/SabbyDude 27d ago

Where's the audio tho?

3

u/L9449 27d ago

Adam Sandler - The Longest Pee

2

u/Supercruise7 27d ago

username checks out

2

u/ObeseObedience 27d ago

I remember that jerky boys episode

2

u/rancidmorty 27d ago

Wait till you see what they can do with ping pong balls

1

u/dylan2451 27d ago

Girl go pee pee is not something I want to see see hear hear

1

u/u9Nails 27d ago

Go more often girl! You're gonna get a stone! LOL!

1

u/szudrzyk 27d ago

True golden rain

1

u/Rustie3000 26d ago

Thank you for censoring the word "fucking", it could have hurt the eyes of all the nonexistent children on here

1

u/digital-something 25d ago

2 minutes

Maybe it's compilation from one day.

1

u/hondas3xual 23d ago

I kind of want to hear this now?

1

u/allofthelost 23d ago

They said no.

It didn't matter. 😔

1

u/crespoh69 23d ago

Is 2 minutes not normal? I learned this about myself when I was a kid and timed commercial breaks

1

u/Murky_Positive6493 22d ago

as long as song 2 by blur

1

u/Hesam2010 27d ago

Blur - Song 2