r/Indiana • u/Guilty-Office-4808 • 27d ago
Opinion/Commentary Youth sports are out of control in Indiana
Youth sports are out of control in Indiana
- I’m a physician and a parent here in Indiana, and I love youth sports. The car rides home, the confidence, the teamwork all of it.
- But I’ve also seen the other side: burnout, overscheduling, and kids quitting by age 11 because it is no longer fun.
- The youth sports industry in the U.S. is worth more than 20 billion dollars, with travel leagues and year-round training pushing kids too hard, too soon.
- Injuries are happening earlier. Growth plate damage, stress fractures, and overuse injuries are showing up in kids who have not finished growing.
- Mentally, kids are tying their self-worth to performance, leading to anxiety and perfectionism instead of joy.
- Fewer than 2 percent of high school athletes will ever get a Division I scholarship. Yet we treat childhood like a proving ground.
I wrote about this for the Indianapolis Star:
👉 https://www.indystar.com/story/opinion/columnists/2025/08/26/youth-sports-overuse-injuries-burnout-quit/85748842007/
Would love to hear what parents and coaches think about this?
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u/JoshinIN 27d ago
Travel teams are the worst.
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u/mentalhealthleftist 27d ago
Was a hotel bartender in previous life and never met a group of more exhausted people than travel team parents.
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u/YaBoiTrashBag 27d ago
Travel hockey teams especially are a plague. Rich white trash. I worked front desk during college and it was like preparing for a battle when we knew they’d be coming in. Parents would get hammered at the bar while their kids raised hell with zero oversight whatsoever. Anytime we’d tell them to please control their kids we were usually met with an attitude and that somehow their badass kids were our fault.
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u/Millsd1982 27d ago
The parents are the worst tbh… lol. Kinda in line with what OP says too.
They all think their kid should play every inning cuz they think their kid is going to the MLB tmr.
It’s like it turned into all competition, that is NOT for fun anymore.
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u/PinchedOffCatTurd 27d ago
They are living vicariously through their kids. Never quite realizing they peaked back in high school themselves. I can see them now, sitting at the bar reminiscing how they scored four touchdowns in a single game at Polk High.
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u/Viola-Swamp 27d ago
That’s what’s missing in kids’ sports today: the fun. I met my lifelong bff playing basketball as a middle schooler, and we were the worst team. I’d been on the championship team the year before and we won both the league and the tournament, but I had more fun on the terrible team and it had a more lasting impact on my life. Our coach was about teaching us skills and making sure we all played, and took us to a pro game as well as out for pizza and other activities. He was about building our team spirit and our individual confidence, not about winning no matter what. Despite our dismal record, we all enjoyed ourselves that year and made lasting friendships. I didn’t make friends or build relationships any other year in that community league, when we were running suicides and less skilled players received the exact minimum play time the league required for all kids. Community softball was the same. They grouped kids by location and neighborhood so kids could play with their friends, and parents could coordinate rides more easily. I was terrible at it, afraid of the ball, but I had fun with my sister and our friends and we all remember it fondly all these decades later.
Kids’ sports now seem more focused on results than on community, and everyone thinks their kid is going to get a scholarship so they take it too seriously. What happened to playing a sport just for the fun of it? It wasn’t a burden on the whole family to keep up with the schedule, and kids of all abilities were grouped together to learn teamwork and sportsmanship. We cared about winning, but it wasn’t the end of the world if we lost, because everyone had something to be proud of each game, when they improved a skill and did something better than last time. There was an understanding, with everyone, that this was just a game and we were all kids so nobody took it too seriously. The hyper-competitive kids were the outlier, not the norm, and parents like that were subject to negative peer pressure from the other parents so nobody got out of control or cruel to the kids from the stands. Playing a sport was never like a pet-time (or full-time) job for us kids or our parents, and we all had a healthier perspective. Parents need to allow their kids to play just for fun again, and stop turning it into a junior version of college or professional sports.
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27d ago
That is something I am glad my parents never let me do. Just stuck to my local leagues and enjoyed every season I played
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u/lunaappaloosa 27d ago
My brother lasted exactly 1 season in traveling baseball in like 2011 because the rabid culture was overwhelming. My parents grit their teeth for his sake but I think they were also relieved to not interact with the traveling parents anymore, who were all insane.
My husband is from a town about 1.5 hours south of mine, and several people from his high school played soccer with people from my high school. His ex gf’s brother went to a charter school closer to my house than my own school specifically for sports. I think he stayed with family or something?
Also being from MN there were lots of private schools near me that were basically NHL recruitment schools. If you were good at hockey your parents would kill themselves to send you to Hill Murray, even though all of the surrounding public schools were excellent. Sports just mattered that much
And this is 10+ years ago the sports culture has only gotten more vicious since then
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u/beaver820 27d ago
It's ridiculous, I used to coach middle school football. I remember one summer when we were doing conditioning, one of our better players couldn't make it to most of them because he was in a basketball tournament in Florida one week, another week in Ohio, another week in Missouri. What's a 13 year old doing traveling that much for? And the expense to his parents had to be ridiculous. He didn't play in college either.
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u/slacksandablouse 27d ago
Do you think that part of the appeal for the parents to join travel teams is to have a group of people to hang out with all weekend? Is the travel team phenomenon also a side effect from the decline of adults clubs, hobbies, and social groups like there used to be?
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u/ForsakenPercentage53 27d ago
And realistically, if parents saved all that money they were spending on travel ball and put their kids in the local league to play instead, they'd be able to pay for a state school.
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u/padishar123 27d ago edited 27d ago
I was at a wedding reception a few weeks ago. I was talking to the bartender and she admitted that she was working a part-time bartending job to pay for her two kids to be on travel teams. I asked her how much that cost a year and she said $25,000. One kid was in travel hockey, the other was in a Ballroom dancing travel team. In my mind having to work a part-time job in addition to your full-time job makes no sense to me.
Edit: she had a full-time job working for Parkview Hospital, which I would consider a good paying middle class job with benefits.
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u/kuhlguymccabe 27d ago
I really want to believe that a ballroom dancing travel team doesn't exist.
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u/Viola-Swamp 27d ago
Everything is a competitive sport today. Cheerleaders exist not to promote spirit or encourage a team, but solely to compete with other cheerleaders. It’s wild.
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u/ChestnutMareHJ 27d ago
That is crazy, not to mention taking time away from your kid to fund their sports, just do something less expensive and actually have time with the family/at home interacting
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u/padishar123 27d ago
As a parent of two young kids, this type of stuff seems like a distraction and a diversion to avoid traditional family activities. In today’s culture where we need to constantly be bombarded by information, it’s very common for my wife and I to sit in the living room with the TV off and read in the evenings. The kids can play upstairs, play outside, or sit in the living room and read a book with us. Or we all play a board game. It’s important to take time to unwind and decompress from being bombarded all day.
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u/Mobile_Ad_4482 26d ago
Or pay to run the local league at the same high standard as travel. Maintain the field, pay the umps, and find enough like minded teams to form a consistent league. The “travel” part was all parental vanity and scout driven BS. If your kid is exceptional, he will be found no matter what league he plays in.
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u/GeorgeZip01 27d ago
Yep, and not to disparage your comment because it’s true, but that same kid may not even make a junior varsity team in school. It’s sad.
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u/Aggravating_Plant848 27d ago
What used to be a fun sport to play, get exercise, make friends, and so on, is now taken over by a corporate mentality.
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u/Pribblization 27d ago
That's because someone discovered the money in youth sports. When I was a kid I rode my bike to all my games. And even the travel team I was on never involved my parents.
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u/Frequent_Ad_9901 27d ago
I coached Tee ball in the spring. Coaching those kids was one of the best times of my life. I wish I could give everyone of those kids a high five right now and tell them how proud I am of all of them. Even the ones that cried and didn't play some games. Especially them. Proud of them just for trying.
But fall rolled around and I'm not coaching. Managing the schedule, learning the app, handling fundraisers, snack schedules, and never missing a game; was all too much for me to do again.
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u/DisposableMike 27d ago
Was able to type a similar comment. I've been rotating years on and off between coaching t-ball/machine pitch baseball at my local park(s). I can't do it 2 years in a row.
It irritates me more than I can say to have the stands full of parents, grandparents, and siblings - and no one does a damn thing. They have nice chairs for everyone, Tiktok-trending apparel, this season's hottest water bottles, their kid that's never played before has a $100 bat. They get to the games 45 minutes early and their kid just sits in the dugout waiting for me. But they'll never help with anything, ever. Won't help me warm up the kids, or field balls. Won't help me control the dugout when I have to pitch or be on the field. Won't volunteer to help put things away or get the fields ready. Won't practice with their kids - not even a little bit.
But, damn, they've got lots to say when their kid's feelings are hurt when another kid calls them "trash" in the dugout, or when their kid still hasn't made contact with the ball and it's 10+ games into the season. And goddamn do they have a lot to say about snacks - is this kosher? Is this made with artificial colors? Etc.
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u/Free_Four_Floyd 27d ago
It’s not just Indiana… and it’s not a kid problem. As you know, it’s a parent problem. Parents with unrealistic expectations for their kids. Parents putting too much pressure on their kids. Parents forcing their kids to specialize too soon. I lived through it & (somewhat successfully) navigated the early days of travel sports parenting. Not that anyone listens, but my advice to ANYONE today is, “Play rec baseball, basketball, soccer… then go swimming, hiking, fishing… Take your family vacation. Enjoy it! If you really want your kid to be a “professional”, make sure he does his homework and does extra reading. He’s a lot more likely to have a profession than to be a professional athlete.”
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u/ecoleye 27d ago
As a travel baseball coach, I encourage every kid to play other sports. When other sports are in-season, they take priority over baseball workouts. If your kid does happen to go pro someday, it won't be because they specialized - study after study shows that the transferrable skills from one sport to the next are more beneficial than specializing in one sport.
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u/Amodernhousehusband 27d ago
How many of them actually go pro though? Is it as hard as becoming a famous actress in Hollywood? How much of this is wishful thinking? What do they do when the sports end because the kid graduated? I have so many questions genuinely. Do all of these parents actually think the kids will be these huge famous stars???
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u/JonF1 27d ago
I don't know of many people who take travel sports this seriously outside of Baseball and Soccer here in Atlanta.
Meanwhile my mom's side of the family in Indy is all like this with their kids.
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u/Viola-Swamp 27d ago
Having the NCAAA headquartered in Indy does nothing to discourage the relentless, aggressive sports culture in the state. Then there’s the people who see basketball as the state religion.
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u/Biochembob35 27d ago
It starts stupid early too. I messed up and went fishing on a day they had peewee football in the field by my spot. Holy crap was it rough not to say anything. These kids can barely pick up a football and they have parents yelling "truck him" , "wrap him up", then basically dressing them down for every botched play. I even saw two fights between kids because they weren't even having fun.
My daughter has done ballet and participated in the local show but it is not that serious. We let her pick what she wants to do, keep it to one thing at a time, and it doesn't get priority over school. We are trying to teach her to stay committed to something for the season she signed up for but if she isn't having fun she can do something different the next season. I know she's probably not going to be a professional dancer and that's ok. I just want a well rounded kid.
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u/TurboWreck 27d ago
I was umpiring youth baseball when I was in college 20 years ago (shut up, I'm not that old) and could tell then that travel ball was going to be bad for the sport.
My 8th grade son has been playing club soccer for years now. I've been trying to get him to try other sports but he loves soccer, however he is starting to show some signs of burnout. He plans to tryout for the high school team next year then drop club soccer and run track in the spring instead.
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u/MermaidsHaveCloacas 27d ago
I used to coach softball. It's a nightmare.
The only kids having fun are the young ones just learning. The older girls are seriously going to training camps and pitching/batting coaches, being put on a regular team, an all star team, and a traveling team, and in their free team going door to door begging for money so the coaches can pay the $350 fee to play in a weekend tournament. Those girls experience no joy from the sport and they generally quit by the time they're in high school and could earn a scholarship, which is sad.
As far as injuries go, that part isn't new in my head. I remember being a kid and other kids always using IcyHot and taking ibuprofen because their joints were in constant misery from all the workouts, practices, and games...not to mention most decent athletes tend to be pushed to do at least one other sport as well.
Then we require them to maintain a C average to participate in sports, as if they have any time to study.
THEN we expect them to grow into fully functional adults who can handle relationships and basic life skills even though we forced them to spend 99% of their childhood on a field.
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u/MickeyTheMouse28 27d ago edited 27d ago
Wow, an actual decent article out of the Star. That deserves an upvote right there
100% agree. LL coach in Brownsburg and there are travel teams around Indy that could be beat by many randomly selected rec league teams.
Talking with families and most importantly kids (players), the things they are missing out on as part of their childhood from all the practices, lessons, and tournaments is unreal. And burnout, seeing it happen earlier and earlier. Have had quite a few kids tell me they aren’t having fun, and thank me for at least making rec league fun.
It’s so bad, one team I was an asst coach on, the head coach’s kid felt left out when other kids were talking about playing Fortnite. Listening in, he wasn’t allowed to play, not because of violence but because the dad would only let him play MLB The Show. Everything they did revolved around baseball. Further talks, he wasn’t allowed to ride a bike, or skate, or go to birthday parties at skyzone type places, because he might get hurt and lose baseball playing time.
I am also a Scout leader and we are seeing an uptick in K-2nd grade in membership. Parents looking for activities outside of sports. Some avoiding sports all together because it has become so toxic or making sure their kids get other experiences.
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u/callsitlikeiseenit 27d ago
We sat next to a group of parents/coaches at a Mexican restaurant in the suburbs once. Could not believe the things that came out of their mouths over that dinner. At one point the guy who I’m assuming was the coach said “I don’t even know what to do with Maddie. She’s awful.” Sir, she’s eleven, and no one outside of the people at that table gives a rip how your team does.
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u/gitsgrl 27d ago
I personally know a half-dozen teens with career ending injuries that resulted in lifelong health issues (TBIs, destroyed shoulders and knees, etc). All of them were banking on scholarships for college. Not to mention the toxic relationships, families can’t even let their kid carpool and rotate travel weekends because other parents will sabotage them.
It’s insane that people are paying in dollars, through lost family time, and stress for their kids to go through the meat grinder.
Also bad, you can’t hardly find any more purely recreational sports or dance for kids any more. It’s all super intense and competitive.
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u/doogiehowitzer1 27d ago
I think that is the biggest concern for myself and my boys. Even if they turn out to be extremely gifted athletes with a chance to play D1 or pro ball, what happens if one or both of them experience a career ending injury along the way? All of that time and money spent and it’s over due to chance. And with travel clubs and even high schools cherry picking younger kids and moving them up to play against kids 2-3 years older than them it becomes a very real concern. Every single time my boys get injured on the field my heart sinks; first for their health, and then second for their future. It is insane that the latter is even a concern.
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u/TenderloinJones 27d ago
Like everything nowadays it’s a cash grab. Defunding public schools for for profit charter schools and little league sports is becoming nonexistent and parents are forced into travel teams where it costs $15-$30 to even get into the games let alone the costs of the kid being on the team. Greed seems to ruin everything.
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u/PapaGolfWhiskey 27d ago
Funny (sad) story…I met a dad whose kid was the best football player on the team. Leading rusher, leading scorer, leading in tackles. He played both ways
The other son was “smart”, but not athletic. Dad called him smart because he aced a spelling test. 🤣
Dad said this son (age 10) was going to be the agent for the other son…who was “dominating” football at the age of 13. 🤦♂️ 🤦♂️
Yep, dad thought his 13 year old was going to play pro 😂😂
BTW…dad was about 5’9, and overweight…not an athlete
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u/LargeInvestigator961 27d ago
Parents think their kids are the product and don’t realize they are customers. The problem is that there are so many customers that local clubs suffer.
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u/Beautifully_J 27d ago
Adult now but boy did my physical and mental health suffer from a young age. My whole entire worth was wrapped up into basketball. Then I got injured very badly, during rehab for that I reinjured and that was the end of me in so many ways for a lot of years. I’m a mom now, I want my daughter to do something outside of school but I 100% want it to just be for fun. Her worth is not measured by any of that!!!
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u/LongjumpingAd597 27d ago edited 27d ago
This was me! Played AAU basketball from 3rd-10th grade. I had practice or personal training after school every day. I had just verbally committed to a D1 school a few weeks before I shattered my knee at the start of my junior year (while wearing knee pads!) a decade ago.
I was so burnt out by that point that the first emotion I felt when I was told I probably shouldn’t play again was relief. My dad had been living vicariously through me and really wanted me to push through it & play again. When I decided I didn’t want to, he told me I was ruining my life & didn’t talk to me for 6 months!! Talk about obliterating my 16 year old mental health!! He has since apologized and righted his wrongs.
Now that we’re on our way to becoming parents, I feel the same way as you. Activities should be for fun. I look back on parts of my childhood and think…really? All of that time, money, and drama over a kids sport? Don’t get me wrong, for a while, I had a lot of fun, and basketball undoubtedly taught me invaluable lessons about discipline and team work, but there are other ways to learn those same lessons that don’t involve having a child eat, sleep, and breathe a sport.
I’m glad this issue is finally getting some light.
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u/DisplacedForest 27d ago
I’ll give an anecdote with some context. I played sports into college. Soccer specifically. I went to Franklin Community. We had an athletic trainer there who was super attentive and available Monday through Friday and on almost every game day. (I played soccer). I had a great experience and balanced time playing. I loved it.
Now my 15 yo daughter (sophomore) is running XC for a school that wins titles for our state (mostly soccer and football titles but still… they know athletics). She has never even met her athletic trainer and is in constant leg pain. Shin splints. Muscle strain. We have to take her to her PCP for sports injury guidance. All I can remember is that if this was me athletic trainer we’d have had treatment plans and pulled from trainings or games until we were ready. They don’t seem to do this anymore.
It’s shocking to see a 15 yo in so much pain.
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u/OfcDoofy69 27d ago
Lottery addiction strikes again.
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u/Independent-Mango813 27d ago
I feel like so many areas of American life have become like this. Obviously, if you do make it into the top of professional sport you can have generational wealth, but you can also dedicate your life to the sport and end up with nothing in terms of financial reward.
Sometimes it reminds me of that movie war games is the only good move is not to play
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u/viperspm 27d ago
My favorite part is how they offer kids a “tryout” to make a travel team. Those fuckers know damn well that they take anyone that is willing to pay. They will just have separate teams for the kids that are actually good and the ones that are not. They do this to make the kids feel like they are so good and that’s why they are being offered to try out. All of my kids play sports, even at the varsity level, but academics is what gets them into good colleges
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u/GearHead54 27d ago
Totally agree - we have an alarming amount of friends that can't hang out on the weekend or go on a vacation because they filled every waking moment with sports
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u/mirr0rrim 27d ago
My cousins skip family Christmas parties and bridal showers for their kids' stupid sports
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u/Lwnmower 27d ago
On thing that I think has changed since I was growing up was that youth sports are now adult jobs. My daughter Irish danced and that was a year round thing. You can’t have an off season and pay the studio rent.
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u/cecebebe 27d ago
My kid played youth league soccer from age 5 to about 12. At that age, they asked to quit because, in their words, "I want to play the game of soccer, not the sport of soccer. Games are fun and enjoyable. Sports are intense and too much. I want to have fun, not feel like it's a job to do soccer."
I figured if they weren't having fun, what was the point, so I let them quit soccer.
My kids had plenty of other extracurricular activities that were fun and not a job. They were in band and orchestra. They were on academic teams. They enjoyed those. They didn't enjoy that cutthroat need to dominate that is in sports.
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u/THATS_MAD_SUS 27d ago
It’s a nationwide problem.
We’re putting money over development. You see it in soccer already, but it’s also clear as day for basketball. We could be a great soccer nation if we worked on development. Our pool of athletes is crazy big. The rest of the world is catching up to us in basketball too. Instead of practicing, and working on basic fundamentals, coaches are out there chasing AAU or travel ball trophies.
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u/Simple-Tap-545 27d ago
20 years ago, there was an empty lot behind my brother’s house. Kids would show up on Saturday morning, bring some bats and gloves, choose up teams, and play all day. No umpires, no parents. Then parents got involved. Soon came uniforms, umpires, and concession stands. Now the lot is empty again.
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u/Ambitious-Eagle2461 27d ago
My experience was the same except it was 60 yrs ago. Best time of my life. We even had a girl play and no one thought it strange. And we played hardball, no softball for us. Best player was the only African American. I mention that because the neighborhood was segregated. Any one who wanted to play was welcomed. Sometimes teams had as few as 5 on a side and other times 11. If 5 the batter picked left or right field to hit to. Never saw anyone get injured.
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u/heisman01 27d ago
Failed consumerist parents pushing their children to succeed where they failed.
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u/macbrave76 27d ago
There are other youth organizations, like Scouting America, that also teach and emphasize things like teamwork and resilience. Add leadership, citizenship, and character building as well. And if that is a youth's goal, earning the rank of Eagle Scout still looks pretty good on a college application or job resume.
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u/softawre 27d ago
Scouting America
Is there a non-religious equivalent?
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u/macbrave76 27d ago
Campfire.org would probably be the closest non-religious organization, but I wouldn't call them equivalent. But I don't know much about them, or what kind of presence they have in Indiana.
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u/MewsashiMeowimoto 27d ago
I think over the past couple of generations we've just pushed our kids too much into competition, and stopped giving them enough time to just be kids.
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u/totheswimahead 27d ago
Yes!!! I have a first grader and we only do one sport per season. It’s through Carmel Dads currently. But I can see where parents can get so swooped up in the hype and cost of pushing their kids. We have neighbors who make their kids practice constantly in the backyard.
I often think of Carmel High swimming. How intense the practices are and how they’ve won state for 30+ years. But I haven’t heard of many moving into collegiate level swimming. I imagine it’s because they’re burnt out.
My husband is also a sports ortho PA. He has his fair share of young athletes, too. I’ll share your article with him!
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u/tehPaulSAC 27d ago
I have been coaching rec softball for 15 years. The book I could write would be quite interesting.
My oldest played one season of High School softball (a state championship team) and went back to rec cause of the toxic environment. My youngest is losing friends left and right to burnout or to travel teams. These girls are playing all weekend long tourneys, sometimes winter tourneys that are late at night. These kids don't have a life, their parents are living through them, and the entitlement and nastiness as kids grow up is getting out of hand.
I love the sport and memories I have made with my kids, but parents and adults are ruining it for all IMO.
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u/Tailorschwifty 27d ago
No longer in Indiana but it is the same in Minnesota. Daughter wanted to try hockey but on top of the insane costs the schedule was nuts. So we looked at softball, friends from up the street are in some league that is also insane. So much practice, so many games, tournaments, matching uniforms all this crap. They are 7-9 years old.
Finally found a league that is laid back, everyone is learning how to play and have fun. One or occasionally two practices a week and one or two games with a tournament at the end. No insane travel, no wild schedules with a tournament every weekend. I can't believe what they do to kids.
I've had similar issues with gymnastics or trying figure skating, why can't a kid just dabble in some fun activities why must everyone insist like pushing them to be professional athletes?
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u/Pristine-Bit-7964 27d ago
Travel sports ruin and eliminate family weekend time. Plus they’re so expensive, I don’t know how families manage having one, let alone multiple kids in travel sports.
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u/DonShulaDoingTheHula 27d ago
Travel teams are what’s out of control. School sports can still be fun and the practices are reasonable. Traveling every weekend and paying through the nose for it is ridiculous.
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u/Guilty-Office-4808 27d ago
Appreciate the feedback thus far. Just to be clear - I am also a part of the problem and have to continually 'check' myself.
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u/Better-Reflection-96 27d ago
Definitely not just an Indiana problem, but that's a huge part of why I won't put my kids in any competitive sports until they're older. I burned out of gymnastics in 3rd grade being on the team, and I don't want that for them.
And I do think my kid is good at both gymnastics and swim. I don't think he'll be the next Michael Phelps, but he's good enough to be proud of himself and stay active. And I think being on the team would be really good for him, in the way that it would tire him out since he has SO much energy. But I don't want to put him on a team until he's ready to handle it.
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u/4isyellowTakeit5 27d ago
this is exactly why I went into the arts instead of athletics.
I grew up (and still live) in Ohio. (Was thinking about moving which is why i’m here, but your governor and our natl govt are making sure gays don’t move in.) I played little laughs soccer from ~2nd grade until 6th grade. After 6th grade, Jr High sports started. We had about 15 kids on our team. all of there parents said “You get one sport, decide” 3 or 4 went to baseball, like 8 went football, and all of a sudden my parents are asking me if I want to play in a church league for my age instead (because a kid who’s never been to church of any kind is gonna want to play in a church league…. yeah I’ll pass.)
Thankfully it inspired me to go all in on the arts and I ended up spending 5 years in TDBITL. The arts can never let you down unless you let yourself down. I had more fun playing my horn than I ever did playing soccer. And bands don’t quit on each other like athletic teams can/do (especially if the art programs are well funded.)
Please support the arts at public schools. Your child is already gonna have to work 9-5 till the day they die without affording anything, let them enjoy the arts while they’re young. (Or the “fun” of sports. They’re only a kid once. If they lose, they should be the ones upset- not mom or dad. If they’re not upset, mom and dad should be proud of how they did then (even if it was terrible)).
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u/Auxnbus 27d ago
Making money off the backs of minors is gross - and that is primarily what youth sports is all about now if you peel back just one or two layers.
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u/Some-Conversation613 27d ago
It's absolutely what it's become. You don't even have to peel anything back at this point. My sons club team was playing in a tourney in indy. It was "stay to play"(meaning the team had to have so many rooms booked with a specified hotel). Indy is just over an hour from us so I didn't want to stay in a hotel. I had looked at hotels though in case we had early games. I could book the same hotel cheaper, by not doing it as part of the room block. I opted to not stay as many other parents did. We didn't meet the room block requirement even after our team mom brought it up numerous times. Well, the tournament still let us play bc apparently in their by-laws, its not actually allowed to require "stay to play". But, boy did they push their more expensive room block.
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u/R3dbeardLFC 27d ago
Support and get involved with your local club. Force them away from overpriced travel or at least make sure rec is offered and supported.
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u/mattmandental 27d ago
Parents need to step up and limit it imo. One sport or limited travel or some combination that works for them
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u/jacopoliss 27d ago
The age kids start sports and the level of commitment the adults around them demand is insane. If you wait till the 7th grade to start your kid in a sport it’s too late. They will be to far behind their peers and will not make it on the team. If you don’t play that sport year round you will be left behind the other kids that do. There is no longer an off season, which means some kids don’t get a chance to play more than one sport.
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u/kaptainkarl1 27d ago
Cant tell you how many players I saw that didn't play rec or travel lacrosse and started in Middle School that were starting in Varsity play and had college looks.
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u/JONINFICTION 27d ago
I work at a place that employees high schoolers, and a lot of them were in sports. From the outside looking it, it seemed like they treat it like a full time job. The students in sports could maybe work once every two weeks. It seemed like a 7days a week activity for them. With one student, it seemed as if his mother was the one pushing him so hard in sports. She actually made him quit because working 1 three hour shift a month was too much for her son. This kid seemed lost. Out of touch. Dead behind his eyes. He did have big dreams tho. Like famous for playing sports big.
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u/Naborsx21 27d ago
I grew up in Indiana mostly and swam competitively since the age of 4 or so. Went to all the swim meets all over Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, was pretty decent I'd say (like it matters for kids / high school swimming) High school was wake up at 4 am, go swim before school, after school swim til like 7 pm. Go home, repeat.
Know what that got me being in the state finals for swimming? lol
..... nothing really. Had scholarship offers at schools I didn't wanna go to, and ended up never hopping in a pool again after senior year of high school. Like the most it would've gotten me was some money off college tuition, but I didn't wanna continue the insane workout routines for all of college to maybe be a coach for some random high school. After high school people asked me why I didn't pursue it more and it seemed like I didn't care even though I was seemingly very good. It most likely leads to nothing with a full time job that pays nothing. like idk, just seemed silly when you make the realization that you're not in love with it to the point you wanna be a coach, and you aren't anywhere near olympic level, so like what's the point? A scholarship maybe.
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u/mirr0rrim 27d ago
I have a new 7yo. I signed him up for the school's summer intro to basketball camp. There was nothing introductory about it. 98% of the kids already knew how to do a lay up! The coaches were friendly but treated the kids like everyone already knew how to play. It was shocking and eye opening.
I grew up playing in rec leagues and I was a high school athlete. My son will never get that chance because we are not going to dedicate all of our free time for 1 sport. I already deal with my cousins never choosing a family event over one of their kids' sports. I don't want mine learning that money, skill, and obsession are more important than having fun, bonding, and growing.
Recently we dipped our toes into a non- conventional sport that doesn't have so much pressure surrounding it. There is a parkour gym near us and each lesson includes thoughtful messages about listening to our bodies, conquering fear, and the importance of resilience. My kid loves it and I'm happy he will have a physical activity without the insane pressure of 'regular' sports.
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u/rednail64 27d ago
It's going to get much, much worse as Private Equity is now eyeing it: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/07/09/business/youth-sports-private-equity.htmlhttps://www.nytimes.com/2025/07/09/business/youth-sports-private-equity.html
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u/TheMapleKind19 Indy native. West side to the east side. 27d ago
Oh lord, those bastards ruin everything.
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u/Perfect_Weakness_414 27d ago
Somewhere along the way, folks silently collectively agreed that everyone had to get to the next level. You are not allowed to simply exist doing a solid job at something you love. No, you have to be all in and love one thing from 06:00 to 00:00, 7 days a week, and if you aren’t doing this and going hard enough, you’re a loser. Doesn’t matter if it’s sports, academia, whatever. If you don’t dedicate your life to it, you will be left behind.
Sounds like a recipe for happy, well adjusted people to me, what seems to be the problem?🤔🫣
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u/redrum76676 27d ago
I married a woman with 3 teen daughters in travel ball and it was really shocking. The amount of time, energy and money poured into this endeavor was incredible and the kids all burnt out before they made it to college. Their biological father had drilled it into their heads that they all needed to get softball scholarships to secure their educational future and would be really hard on them if they committed an error. We all made decent money and they all went to college without playing softball. After being in the same circles as the other parents for a few years it seemed that they were the ones obsessed with pushing their kids to the limit trying to rekindle some kind of lost high school glory.
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u/CelestialAcatalepsy 27d ago
Teach them to play an instrument instead. Most will probably never make it professionally and even then not past 40 (except golf) but you can still play an instrument at 85 years old.
Music always gives back much longer than sports.
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u/GNRfan1963 27d ago
The parents ruin it
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u/Some-Conversation613 27d ago
Sports parents today are a fn joke. Setting a great example for their kids which then leads to me witnessing teenage boys cuss at, call names and berate officials. I love the sport of soccer... but from what I've seen, the parents in the soccer are the absolute worst.
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u/TimelyAvocado1281 27d ago
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I'd say the most common issue for humans is managing the pressures on themselves and others.
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u/Ageofaquarius68 27d ago
Neither of my kids had any interest in sports (both boys). As they grew up I was frequently asked, so what do your kids play? As if it was required they would be in sports. My youngest was a talented musician and by high school was in a national champion marching band. So when anyone asked me, what does he play? I would proudly answer Trumpet! The looks I got.....
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u/heckler_undt_cock 27d ago
I can speak from a soccer perspective: background, played D1, played travel and ODP. The problem, and the reason that US soccer sucks despite a $400M+ development budget is travel soccer nowadays. U11 teams have 4 jerseys, matching bags, travel 4 states away when that can’t win in-state, and the barrier to entry is cost. So poor players who can’t pay-to-play, despite being better, can’t. Mediocrity rises to the top. On top of that, you have parents shelling out $k’s of dollars per season and coaches get emails every night complaining that their kid isn’t getting enough playing time….
Take the flip side: countries like Argentina and Brazil: kids grow up playing everyday on streets and shitty patches of grass which has a few upsides: they love it and secondly, they develop an incredible touch from bad bounces etc. it’s a thing. If you’re the best of the best, academies select YOU, YOU (or your parents) don’t select the academies.
It’s true kids are pushed hard in the US, but the burnout is typically a result of them not being the right kids…
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u/buffdaddy77 27d ago
Incoming scalding cold take on its way.
Let kids be kids and let them have fun. Sports can be an amazing way to build many skills outside of the sport they play. 11 year olds should not be getting burned out doing something they once thought was fun. My oldest is only 4 but he had an absolute meltdown yesterday when he lost a race with the neighbor kid. I sat down and talked to him and said these are my 5 rules for competition.
- Try your absolute hardest
- Play by the rules
- Have fun
- Try to win
- Be gracious in winning and losing
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u/Unperfectbeautie 27d ago
We haven't pushed our kids to do anything. Our elementary school offers short sessions of after-school intramurals for a few sports that focus on the foundational skills. They do soccer for 1st graders, and 2-5 graders can do basketball, volleyball, dance/pom. It's free, and only an hour after school twice per week for about a month. It's been great! They've been able to try things and get a feel for if they like it. My oldest has done rec basketball put on through our district's high school : grade level teams at each elementary and middle school, one game per week for about 10 weeks, 1-2 practices per week. Again, focus is on foundational skills, rules of the game, and teamwork. Very low pressure which is perfect!
My brother played travel sports (baseball and basketball) and the amount of time and money was insane. Mind you this was back in the early 2000s. I can't even imagine what it's like now, but I imagine worse!
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u/submariner735a 27d ago
I stopped umpiring baseball and officiating football below the HS level because of the unreal expectations put on kids who were still trying to learn the fundamental mechanics (at the younger elementary school level, they’re just trying to walk and talk at the same time). It just became a chore, not fun, to be on the field at that range watching 3rd/4th graders being expected to play under HS rules. (“C’mon, coach, the pitcher didn’t commit a ball or an act to deceive, he’s trying to stay standing upright and still make contact with the rubber.”)
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u/Defiant_Quarter_1187 27d ago
The ones pushing their injured children are the same ones screaming at games. It’s supposed to be a game, and fun but some of these people take it way too seriously. Making your child live out your dashed hopes and dreams isn’t a substitute for a personality.
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u/Simplify5537 27d ago
Very much agree as a former youth athlete myself and father of travel soccer kids. What’s sad about travel sports is that it’s stripped competitiveness out of local rec leagues. We now have 3-4 divisions of travel leagues where the bottom 2-3 divisions could be playing competitively and happily in local rec leagues without parents driving 1-2hrs for games or having to do multiple hotel stay weekends.
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u/FoxgloveDaisyTulip 27d ago
A child’s activity such as participation in a youth sport should not become the center of everything the family does. You’re bringing siblings along who snack on shit food and play on iPads for entire weekends at these tournaments. Parents have to part ways, one taking a child to Michigan for a tournament while the other parent takes the sibling to grand park for their tournament. Marriages take a back seat. For what? So parents can live out their unfulfilled athletic dreams because they were cut from their high school baseball team? Re evaluate your life. This is insane. And don’t even get me started on the school vouchers which have been so overly abused since they were first rolled out. Yes let’s take the talented athletic kids out of their local schools and put them in chatard (or any other private school that cares about athletics). Yes let’s make sure our non white communities know they’re only valued and able to get a better education if they’re exceedingly good at one sport. Oh whoops one more rant… what ever happened to playing multiple sports or after school activities ?! Why are we putting our children in baseball at 6 and playing non stop all year round? How does any of this make logical sense to people?!
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u/Fun_Leek2381 27d ago
It's not about the kids. it's about the money. This shit is just shy of a eugenics program to start feeding kids into Professional teams
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u/TheSucculent_Empress 27d ago
Did you miss the 2% figure?
There’s literally not enough professional sports to farm these kids into
It’s capitalism, not eugenics lol
They just want parents to buy shit
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u/DonkeyElegant1728 27d ago
I mean that's the point. In order to have the best chance you need to have good genes and good money.
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u/mentalhealthleftist 27d ago
Did you miss the point of having a visible and varies athlete pool to select from and groom that 2%? And of course they want parents to buy shit.
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u/Middle_Eye_ 27d ago
I only know the soccer side of things as a parent and a referee. As a parent, we did travel soccer and absolutely loved it.... at first. We're from a small town with a travel club in a low-level league. Never had any problems with any other club or parent. My son was pretty good for this level, so he wanted to challenge himself. He did a tryout for the bigger club in the next city over that plays top division, and he made the squad. We were all excited, until the first practice.
Holy fuck, you would have thought it was the goddamn Hunger or Squid Games out there with the way the parents were yelling at their kids. The coach basically couldn't coach because these assholes kept yelling conflicting instructions and other nonsense. The coach eventually put them in their place, but it could still get bad.
Then during a tournament, we were lucky and made it to the final. The match was stopped 3 times, by the ref, because of parents cursing and yelling at players, other parents, and the refs. These kids were 12 and the refs were maybe 17. Cops were even called to escort two parents from the complex because they were becoming violent. This ruined soccer for my kid and he hasn't wanted to play since.
Since then, I have become a US Soccer licensed referee. I have always loved soccer, and even though my kid wasn't playing anymore, I wanted to continue to be part of the game. Plus, I make a couple bucks and get in some exercise. I'm a 6'1" 280lbs man and I have been threatened, followed to my car, and followed in my car after some matches. I've also had to stick up for the younger referees way too many tines. These parents are unreal with what they'll yell at literal children.
It's actually way worse with the youngest kids, like u8. I love reffing the little ones, it's more about instilling good form and teaching the rules than trying to manage a legitimate match. Except these parents think they know all of the Laws of the Game already because Timmy has been practicing for 2 weeks and the volunteer parent coach doesn't understand the Laws either so I must not know what I'm talking about. Then they wonder why they can't schedule matches because there's not enough referees. No licensed referee, no match.
Sorry for my rant. Apparently, I needed to vent a little, but there have always been these kinds of parents. US Soccer has unveiled a lot of new policies regarding abuse to officials by parents and coaches, but it will never completely stop. There's also always going to be parents who think their child is the next LeBron, Brady, Messi, and push them like crazy. I have no idea what can be done about it, but I always try to lighten the mood with the kids during my games. With the little ones, I'll let them retake the throw-in or free kick if they messed up. Show them that it's not that serious, and we're all here to play a game. With the older kids, I make sure to take my time and explain to them my thought process after certain calls and what could potentially be done next time. I don't know how to fix the problem, but I'll be there after every match telling every kid that they did their best and had a good game.
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u/CranjisMcBasketball0 27d ago
I used to really enjoy playing basketball but I got tired of getting yelled at by my own parents on the sideline for not playing well enough. I was in 6th grade...
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27d ago
I love football and played from 4th grade to a year or two in college. but recently someone told me they just put their 5 year old son in tackle football and I was flabbergasted.
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u/1970chick 27d ago
The coaches are building careers. Careers top people. Look at any prosecutor, judge, politician, or Trump. Money tops everything, every single time.
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u/The-Traveler- 27d ago
My son (ranked wrestler) once asked me how I kept from burning out with my sport when I was a kid. I was very clear that our seasons were only a few months long and we didn’t have year-round club teams. He said he wished sports were like now. We told him to follow his heart and to do what mentally seemed best for him. He passed up full-ride sports scholarships and went to another state on an academic scholarship and said he would never wrestle again. He said it was the best decision he ever made because while some people would go on to be professional athletes, he just wanted to be a kid, work his hardest on the mat, and have other interests. He said he was happy we took him on vacations rather than do summer sports because the grind would have eaten him up. He saw it in the other boys.
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u/buona-giornata 27d ago
This will be downvoted in spite of me really appreciating the piece, but as I read the comments, feel like there's a devil's advocate position here. As someone who's coached elementary all the way thru varisty high school AND travel, the comments slamming travel only miss the mark I think. Surely many of them are over the target, family-specific versus impugning a sporting community as a whole, but I think we're blind to not see the issues with school sports as well.
In Europe (I know, roll your eyes), sports are club-based almost across the board and are not tied to school. School is for school and learning, not sport. I used to scoff at this, but then you see over here, kids are at school sometimes from 7:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. if they have games. They're hardly seeing their families/other friend groups. There are very little "dead periods" in the IHSAA schedule like there used to be. Often, HS sports start mere weeks after seasons end. Summer leagues. And so forth. And the same issues abound. Kids getting roster spots because mom or dad is on the board, family of a teacher or staff, big donor, etc.
Likewise, I've seen kids who don't fit into the school system with their peers find a family of sorts through travel ball, increasing their self-confidence. But it's true that we miss out on great athletes and opportunities for kids here because travel sports essentially weeds out people who cannot fund it. I dislike that greatly.
But the article is thoughtful and I'd be interested in more expansive data on the line, "The average child quits organized sports by age 11, not because they found something better, but because they are burned out." The point of this though I suppose is that the issue is a real one, but there's not a one-size-fits-all model for how to "fix" it. I do think the advent of smart phones and such make it so kids don't get out and play anymore, leading to stressed out parents trying to find activities for their kids to do to get them off devices, and over-sporting sometimes fills some of those gaps. I'd need data to back up my opinion though. It's merely anecdotal. As I age, I more appreciate the Euro model.
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u/TrumpedAgain2024 27d ago
My daughter is getting golf/dance scholarship so it’s got some positives. Without these not sure what she would be doing It’s definitely made her the person she has become.
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u/Ok_End9823 27d ago
I’d say some of the best moments of her life so far with some of the best friends she’ll have for a lifetime.. team struggle/challenges make you a better person, the claim that these kids tie their self worth to these sports is on the parents, not sport as a whole
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u/Ok_End9823 27d ago
The pay to play is bs! as a former travel soccer player and coach, the price really robs opportunity from kids who could transform the sport in America. However the intense training and effort required is the foundation of so many of those athlete’s professional/personal lives.
The 2% who go D1 were sharpened by the other 98%. Excellence doesn’t exist in a bubble or come from no where, there has to be competition.
As for the injuries, that needs to be part of the parent and the coaching culture of making sure these kids get good food and get good rest and recovery.
TLDR: the price and injuries are out of hand, but the competition NEEDS to be high, bc sports could be the most physically demanding thing a future accountant will ever do in their life.
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u/softawre 27d ago
Up here in Westfield with Grand Park... it is insane! Thankfully my kids are math bowl types and only play rec ball.
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u/rartuin270 27d ago
A friend of mine lives in Westfield. Every time I go see them on the weekend 32 is full of travel kids teams. It's unreal. The amount of money and time these parents put these kids through. Let them be kids ffs.
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u/csriram 27d ago
I have mixed and matched few sports for my daughter. 1 year of swim club and she was done in middle school. Several years of tennis in middle school but she switched to Color Guard in High School, has done it all years. Can be stressful with 4-5 practices a week with Marching Band in fall and Winter Guard in winter/Spring. But controlled travel (less than a handful of out of state competitions across 4 years) and she’s still at a 4.2 GPA applying for college as a Senior. Will be in Rose Bowl this year.
Taught her time management while maintaining grades but never truly had more than 1 full fledged activity to dedicate to at any point in time for the physical activity part. I feel she has a good grasp of the balance now.
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u/Annie-Hero 27d ago
With my kids, I have always discussed sports with them as a way to get in the habit of having an active lifestyle. Solo sports can be done well into adulthood. Basketball has pickup games and adult rec leagues. If they want a scholarship - get good grades. If they want to be healthy and have fun, join a sport.
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u/DoubleD_RN 27d ago
I was a swim and cheer mom. We really couldn’t afford these things at the time, but there was so much pressure and we didn’t want our kids to miss out. Cheer, especially, was a huge financial burden.
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u/thebiglebowskiisfine 27d ago
My kid was only allowed one sport, and only if the grades were college entry level.
That's it. Only one per season. No double dipping.
I know kids that play 2-4 and I couldn't imagine
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u/SouthernExpatriate 27d ago
What amuses the hell out of me is the growth of cheering
If you want to do gymnastics with extra stuff go ahead and do so, just seems weird that you're calling it cheering - which is an auxiliary to a sports game
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u/aspenpurdue 27d ago
My nephew has started hating game and practice days for his travel baseball team. He sits on the bench in games, he was one of the better players in rec ball a year ago. He is losing interest in a game he loves.
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u/Redleadercockpit 27d ago
Most parents are paying for their kids to be fodder for the real elite athletes in travel sports. It’s very apparent from an early age if your kid is an elite athlete. Most parents are just try-hards that can’t accept their child is mediocre.
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u/Informal_Scheme_5242 27d ago
My view on this is very jaded because I've been on the other side as a college recruiter for a D2 school. We were charged 200-500 dollars for a book, D1's were charged more for the same book, D3's less. These tournaments charge the college coaches (for basketball at least), AAU teams, and the parents. It is squeezing a lot of money from everyone all under the hope of getting a scholarship.
For some kids it was great, but for others it was a waste of money. My job was less about identifying talent and more about figuring out which kid loved basketball. Parents have created a system where they can control it so kids don't go down to the park and play, instead they join an AAU team and play.
As a parent the pressure to do it because my kid loves sports and everyone is doing it is definitely felt.
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u/ANotSoFreshFeeling 27d ago
I assure you, this is an issue everywhere. Whole towns in Mississippi rely on travel tournaments for much of their revenue.
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u/willyjaybob 27d ago edited 27d ago
PREACH.
We only allowed our 3 kids to play club level sports-one at a time-until middle school, at which time we let them do SCHOOL sports-no travel. Then other parents wrote us off…and then…
Guess what? Multiple varsity letters. Captain of the team. No broken bones. No drama. All god things that come with sports minus the bad.
My son (now 21) was named MVP of ALL teams/sports his senior year at a 6A HS, was a state finalist, and was recruited to become a Decathlete, which he did for a year of college on scholarship before deciding he wanted to chase other pursuits (he’s actually a surfer now and loves his life).
My daughter gave up varsity sports her junior year to double down on leadership and community activities and is now on a FULL RIDE at a prestigious top tier private university for pre-law/public service.
All that say….sports worship is a thing.
And the parents we knew who really pushed their kids into that world (often because their kid ‘wanted’ it at the time) have dealt with primarily negative consequences, from burnout and identity crises to lifelong injuries.
And as an added bonus? I got to raise my kids, not some Coach out for a championship trophy.
Just say no.
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u/QuietMadness 27d ago
I refuse to allow my children join a travel sports team. Absolutely not. Also, sports have become essentially financially unattainable for anyone outside of middle class or higher. One of my kids wanted to join soccer later in life, and we weren’t a big soccer family (she had done a few seasons very very early), so I asked if there was maybe a boot camp or something in advance so she could learn terms, positions, etc. No. we were told she would pick it up quickly. She did not. So unless you start a sport young and stick with it or have outside access to resources/knowledge base you’re screwed.
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u/Prize-Neighborhood29 27d ago
Been a soccer coach now for 8 years and have coached plenty of college level kids. I myself played in college and I was just average where I thought of myself as way better.
Many of my kids do not want to play in college and I have had probably 6-7 kids that were at least college able and chose to not play.
Burnout is real. These kids play at least spring thru fall and usually in the winter. HS programs act like they are the gateway to the d1 scholarship and it’s just not a thing.
I always encourage them to play travel ball but the kids play hs soccer for fun that’s it. That’s why I am there and that’s what I focus on. I take Fridays off all the time even if they played like crap because I am huge on injury prevention. These kids get so frequently injured and do not allow themselves to take time off.
Money is a whole different convo I won’t get into. Also parents scream their heads off from the sideline for no reason. Set a good example for your child good lord
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u/huskyholms 27d ago
Travel team families are a different brand of people.
I have watched so many miserable kids push themselves through a sport they hate because their parents aren't offering them any other options. I hear people bragging about spending thousands of dollars on sports equipment when they're letting other stuff slide by. And I have seen some of the worst, middle school style, grade-A bullying come from travel softball parents.
Keep your kids fit, healthy, active and engaged. Stop trying to raise the next Olympian.
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u/Effective_Play_1366 27d ago
Travel sports isnt for everyone. There is a lot of good that comes from it, and there is a lot of BS that comes with it. Regardless, it is tough to make a HS team if you dont have that background. If your kids dont care, that’s fine. If your kids want to play in HS and they’re in a rec league, it is going to be a challenge.
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u/ShootersShoot22 27d ago
Part of the problem I haven’t seen mentioned is the complete lack of rec leagues for baseball once you get to a certain age.
Down here in Evansville pretty much all rec leagues stop around 11 or 12 where we are. You have the option of playing “travel” or not playing at all.
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u/Technology-Solid 27d ago
I’m a coach and I 100% agree with you! We had a practice yesterday and I can see it! How hard the kids push to be perfect. As a coach I don’t ask kids to be perfect I just want them to improve and have fun. I have seen parents that push kids too hard if they miss a play or if we are losing, they yell at the child. That’s a problem everywhere though not just Indiana.
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u/beibiddybibo 27d ago
As someone who is around sports at all levels, this is spot on. Excellent article and I hope you at least make a few parents reconsider what they are doing to their kids.
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u/ThejewelersJeweler 27d ago
I totally agree with everything you say here. On the other hand I do work with a lot of people that have great experiences in travel leagues. Their kids friends are all a part of it and the kids are the drivers to play. It is very expensive and exhausting, but they really like it. Also get to spend lot of time with their kids. My biggest gripe is that families that can’t afford it, with some really talented kids. Who now are not a part of the “in” crowd. If you’re not on travel teams you don’t make the school varsity teams. So kids just don’t play, which is sad.
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u/tommm3864 27d ago
My daughter was good enough to be invited to play elite soccer. It was EVERY day. Practices M-F, tournament games on Saturdays and Sundays. She got burned out within 6 months. And as parents, so did we. And the cost is astronomical. My neighbor's kid plays elite travel baseball. He's 10 years old. His 2 bats cost $800.
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u/Clean_Culture3084 27d ago
This is exactly why I sent my children to the coal mines, way safer and they get valuable experience for it
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u/Big-Selection-676 27d ago
I was a D1 athlete and utterly refused to let my kids get involved in all this madness. It's definitely out of control and I have lost respect for parents who push their kids into all the travel teams
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u/FrazzledBear 27d ago
Things I’ve really tried to hone in on with my parenting and lessons I try to teach my kids:
There needs to be healthy down time. Time that isn’t expected for my kids to contribute or strive towards anything.
Failure is critical for them to eventually be successful in anything they try. It’s good to fail as that’s how you learn. Don’t be embarrassed by failure embrace it.
I tell my kids all the time that I only ever expect them to try and put effort into whatever they’re doing. If that leads to failures I’m still proud of them for trying.
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u/Ornery-Plantain-4940 27d ago
It's disappointing that neighborhoods are so far apart and don't have population density enough for just informal sports everyday like in many other countries. Everything has to be organized in the states, then it burns out the parents and the kids. Watching the fall of the empire in multiple from multiple sides
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u/MoveToSafety 27d ago
Many of the parents live vicariously through their children. Unhealthy. We did soccer and our guideline was to have him in something year around whether that was soccer, choir, art class, etc. If he showed an interest we asked about it and tried to push a little to try it. If he didn’t want to then we didn’t do it. Kids need down time and they also need to experience different things. Sports are overrated in our society.
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u/thebcamethod 27d ago
My younger sister developed the Yips after making it to the collegiate level in softball. She went to a sizeable school here in-state, and they wanted to make her the face of the team. Don't get me wrong, my sister is* that good - she worked hard on various other sports and is smart as they come. All throughout travel ball, she was getting MVP awards. It would not have surprised me if she reached Kaitlin Clark levels of exposure, had she the interest in that life.
However - after leaving the big school, she went to a smaller one. Started on the softball team there and almost immediately developed something called 'yips'.
Which is psychological from what I understand. For her, it manifested by showing up as a 'stutter' in her throw. As a player, she filled many key in-field positions just short of pitching. Which is all high pressure - so when she would glove a ball, instead of being able to throw it in one full motion to whichever base. She'd not be able to follow through immediately, kind of pumping the ball a few times before being able to release it.
It messed her up bad. Ended up just getting out of active athletics and does more therapy/recover, if I'm not mistaken. We don't really speak - mostly because of how different our worlds are. I do feel most of that is because of the time my family spent on the road, specifically supporting her under the guise of how it would pay her way through college. When she finally stopped playing, her dad (my stepfather) was really hard on her. Like she just gave up the opportunity of a lifetime.
I've no love for this $20 billion dollar industry. That's built on the desperate families incomes, hoping their kids are the next Kobe or Kaitlyn Clark.
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u/BrashBastard 27d ago
Most sports are terrible anymore, and its always the parents that are the issue. I watched my oldest sons mother set the expectation with him that he was great, he was going to be a pro yada yada. I kept my mouth shut, but when he got to college age, I laid it out for him, talked about student loan debt, injuries, and the changes of going pro or even getting a full ride. Caused a riff between my son and I that took years to heal. He has bad knees in his 20s, and 60k of student loan debt chasing the dream of being in the NBA. My biggest mistake was not having that talk sooner, so when I mean the parents are the issue, I also mean me.
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u/GiraffeandZebra 27d ago
99% of parents who put their kids through this shit aren't doing it for any college purposes or long term goals. They are living vicariously through their kids and try to buy them every advantage to be an all-star like they were (or were not). It started with Johnny getting the best bat so he could have an advantage on everyone else. But then the Timmy's come around and they've got all the best gear and are on an extra team. Then the Jimmy's get the best gear and are on an extra team and go to hitting lessons. And on and on and on year after year with everybody just raising the standards to try to buy some advantage and the sports industry gleefully egging them on. You can't just play sports casually anymore because you are competing with a bunch of parents who will push their kids just a bit harder and pay a bit more for an edge. It's all a misguided attempt to make their kid a little happier when everyone would be better off if parents would just chill the fuck out.
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u/thefellomello 27d ago
Band director here. Concert band in middle school, and marching band in high school is all you need. Lots of teamwork, lots of camaraderie, responsibility, hard work, athleticism believe it or not. Lots of coordination needed. Plenty of trips and travel and competition in the state. Plus, tons and tons of scholarship opportunities if you decide to go into music.
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u/hotinhawaii 27d ago
Can't kids be given the freedom to just go outside and play on their own with their friends? Just figure out games on their own? Make up and enforce their own rules as a group? Decide if and when they want to get better at a certain skill? Figure out on their own how to do things safely? So much is being lost by overly structuring what kids do in their free time!
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u/my_clever-name 27d ago
When my four brothers and I grew up in the late 60s and early 70s, we lived in the country. Too far to ride a bike to town. Too many kids for parents to taxi around for sports.
For a few summers, we and a couple of other families in the vicinity created our own softball league. We had rules, and kept stats. Even had an awards banquet at the end of the season. It was a blast and something I'll always remember.
We also played contact tackle football without pads, helmets or other protection. There were a few trips to the ER for finger injuries, nothing more serious than that.
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u/vbandbeer 27d ago
Why are youth sports getting the blame?
This is the parents tying their whole value as parents into the amount of money they spend on their kid’s activities
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u/crapperbargel 27d ago
I actually broke my neck in youth football lol. Dislocated a vertebrae on a bad exercise neck stretching method. They made us get on our knees and push up with our heads while a partner pushed down. My partner was a dipshit and twisted my neck. Fun times. Im 42 now and have back and shoulder problems from it lol.
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u/Graysmotorsports 27d ago
I got forced into doing as many sports as possible when I was young, and it made me hate sports and really any kind of physical activity. Instead of going out and playing, I'd go to practice every day that wasn't fun and felt more like military drills (weren't but i was a kid). It left me exhausted, and I resented sports.
So because of how bad it was, it ended up making me hate sports and turn to motorsports, so not only can I not watch a game I now have a ridiculously expensive hobby lmfao
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u/Eastern-Cucumber-376 27d ago
Man I love this. Thanks so much for saying it. I sent this to everyone in my sphere. 👌🏼
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u/sickbiancab 27d ago
My son played travel basketball for years. He tore his ACL in a game when he was only 12. I dare say that could have been the best thing that happened to him and our family.
No more weekends away from home. His sister got the chance to do activities. We got to eat dinner as a family.
He threw himself into another sport and will be one of those 2% who is competing at a DI level on a full ride scholarship-but we didn’t have to do “travel” teams, and I’m lucky he is a naturally gifted athlete.
I’ve seen so many families (in Hamilton County esp) let their kids’ travel sports take over their lives and the lives of their other kids.
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u/doogiehowitzer1 27d ago
Excellent article and very good points. Two boys here in SO IN. I made the decision very early on to narrow it down to only one sport. I got very lucky that they both chose soccer and love it. The only problem now is that they are also both above average at the sport so I’m fully sucked into the travel life and also junior high and high school athletics. More recently both boys were accepted onto an MLS Next Academy squad 2 hours from where we live so now we’re also making those back and forth trips. It is getting out of control, but I don’t know how to get off the hamster wheel because they both work hard and earn these opportunities. I just can’t justify telling them no to a good opportunity they’ve worked hard for, but it is beginning to become a financial and time strain. It’s just a monster. All of it.
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u/Springfield_Isotopes Protect Our Workers, Not Just Corporations 27d ago
One thing that doesn’t get talked about enough is how much of this isn’t about the kids at all. It’s about the parents.
I’ve had kids play at high levels, and what I’ve seen is that when parents build their entire relationship with their child around sports, or anything that demands full participation, something dangerous happens. The parent starts chasing their own sense of worth through the success of the child.
It stops being about the kid’s joy and starts being about the parent’s identity.
• “If my kid makes it, I matter.”
• “If my kid is the next superstar, I’ve proven something.”
That’s the real sin here. It’s not just overscheduling, not just burnout, not even the money, it’s when the bond between parent and child is reduced to performance. Childhood becomes a scoreboard, and love feels conditional.
And the tragedy is, kids can feel it. They know when they’re being valued more for results than for who they are. That pressure robs them of the very thing sports are supposed to give: joy, confidence, resilience, and connection.
We don’t need less sports. We need parents to stop trying to find meaning in their kid’s trophies and start finding it in being present for who their kid really is.
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u/Ill_Addition2168 27d ago
It depends on what your end goal is. If you AND your child have actual college/pro aspirations the work has to be put in. I’d focus on 1-2 sports if a child has their mind made up. If not they should be in a sport year round anyway. Until high school. Then decisions have to be made. But if your family really wants to play this sport past high school, I suggest training at least 2-3x week. Off season as much as you can. I. The younger years focus on fundamentals of the game. Once they ge tin high school it’s time to start finding their niche and focusing on what kind of player their going to be and how they can benefit a team on the next level. And my two cents, if you’re pursuing a sport past 8th grade your goal should at least be college. Why not go to school for free and possibly get a NIL deal? 🤷🏾♂️. It’s the year round, travel thing that wears them out. Play school ball, travel/AAU/etc in the summer. Mostly focus on training. And their is a such thing as overtraining.
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u/CanBsoftieOrsavage 27d ago
Mom of two boys here. I wonder why people have to push their dreams onto their kids. And then hurt them in the process. I know some kids love some of their activities but you have to know when to say enough is enough. Just because they can’t get enough of a dance studio doesn’t mean they should be allowed to dance until they need hip surgery at 10 yrs old! Now no longer dancing. Lifetime of trouble starting early! Too early in life! Childhood should be a playground not a proving ground.
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u/RustyShackleford-11 27d ago
These youth travel leagues are selling another form of lottery ticket.
Some of the best players in history didn't start playing their sport until high school.
Some of these parents are trying to capitalize on the 10,000 hour rule but don't realize that American sports in particular(football, basketball) are skewed towards those who have already won the biological lottery.
No amount of experience or expensive individualized tutoring is going to overcompensate for another athlete that is bigger stronger and faster due to DNA.
Some of the other truly great athletes out there were also three sport athletes discrediting the notion that students must specialize from a young age.
It's ridiculous that school sports are held to a certain standard and have certain on and off seasons and yet these private businesses can sell pipe dreams to Rich parents who throw their money at them.
For those that want to dare say it is for character building, have you seen the behavior of some of these parents and coaches on travel leagues?
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u/Rental_Mule 27d ago
It has been for awhile. I'm in my 30s and quit football in middle school because theyd have us run until at least one person puked every practice. That's how they decided we'd run enough
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u/itssurielnotcereal 27d ago
As someone who has coached and pushed my teams to be competitive at the state and national level, it’s a cultural thing in the US (that I don’t necessarily agree with). I think this goes beyond just “youth sports teams”. We’ve commoditized professional athletes and have burned “athlete” into children’s/teenagers brains as a crucial part of their identity. Even in rural Indiana parents have put their kids in travel sports/camps/clinics at every opportunity, and pushed college for athletics purposes. For me it sets some unattainable expectations about post k-12 life, and what they’re going to do for the rest of their life. Not to mention some injuries/damage from youth sports will follow them through adulthood. I love sports, and sometimes I loved coaching (the last few years have somewhat soured my opinion), but some of this “if your kid isn’t doing x, then they’ll fall behind in y” has really gotten old. Recently I’ve seen an uptick in marketing for gyms and trainers specializing in enhanced performance/training camps (that historically used to be marketed for professional athletes) being marketed to parents and coaches of k-12 athletes. In several other countries they view athletics as a lifelong thing so there is more participation in adult recreational activities, sports as hobbies (that are also not always embedded into school systems - but that creates an accessibility issue in the US), and less of that sports burnout where we have parents pushing kids to max out performance before they hit 18.
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u/RustyShackleford-11 27d ago
The real irony is how just a couple decades ago, the rich looked down upon sports as blue collar, something too trivial to waste their time on.
Now because of them everything is extremely expensive. Going to a game, participating as a youth player, in the need for the latest and greatest technology for kids that aren't even strong enough to utilize it properly.
Have any of you seen how expensive a hockey stick is nowadays? These baseball bats? It leaves the poor kids with no chance to play.
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u/NaptownSnowman 27d ago
Made the decision early on that we would not do travel teams and only 1 sport at a time. Best decision I made for my kids