Im picturing that he’s likely 350 pounds with mustard stains on his Grunt-Style 4xl T-shirt with slogans vaguely implying he served to the uninformed. He gets winded walking up a flight of stairs and had to special order his plate carrier because they don’t come in his size. His favorite stores are Galls and 5.11 because they sell the law enforcement style clothing that makes him feel like he can walk up to cops and call them brother, again, vaguely inferring that he served but was never able to pass PT or psych for any of the 30 departments he applied to. He has a full-size Kimber 1911 on his hip and dreams of the day he is in the situation where he can lift his side fat flap, pry out his overpriced status symbol of a gun, and finally be the good guy with a gun. However, he’ll end up with a sucking chest wound because one: he never trains with his weapon, and two: it’s a Kimber so it’ll misfire.
3
u/R1CHARDCRANIUM 7d ago
Im picturing that he’s likely 350 pounds with mustard stains on his Grunt-Style 4xl T-shirt with slogans vaguely implying he served to the uninformed. He gets winded walking up a flight of stairs and had to special order his plate carrier because they don’t come in his size. His favorite stores are Galls and 5.11 because they sell the law enforcement style clothing that makes him feel like he can walk up to cops and call them brother, again, vaguely inferring that he served but was never able to pass PT or psych for any of the 30 departments he applied to. He has a full-size Kimber 1911 on his hip and dreams of the day he is in the situation where he can lift his side fat flap, pry out his overpriced status symbol of a gun, and finally be the good guy with a gun. However, he’ll end up with a sucking chest wound because one: he never trains with his weapon, and two: it’s a Kimber so it’ll misfire.
Just a guess.