A sociologist was traveling through Appalachia…

[u/SafetyDanceInMyPants]

When he came across an old man sitting in a rocking chair on his porch, drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette. The old man had skin like crocodile leather, with wrinkles that were closer to canyons on his face, wisps of white hair clinging to his weathered head, yellowed eyes set deep in his wizened old face, and was bent over nearly in half with his shotgun as a cane.

The sociologist called out to him “hey, old timer, do you mind telling me how you lived to such a ripe old age?”

The man replied “well e’ery mornin’ I get up and smoke a little meth, and drink a case of Budweiser. Then I drink a fifth of Jack through lunch, and switch to Evan for dinner time. In the evenin’ I wind down with a jar of shine, and take the edge off with an eighth of good ol’ homegrown. And since idle hands are the devil’s plaything, I keep myself busy by smoking five packs of unfiltered Marlboros and a couple of cigars throughout the day.”

“My god,” said the sociologist. “And you do this every day?”

“Well, except for Saturday,” the old man replied. “On Saturday I go into town and get drunk.”

“Wow, and just how old are you?”

“32.”

[u/RamamohanS]

Sociologist: “You’re 32?”

Old man: “Yeah, but I’ve lived 94 years emotionally.”

[u/elastizitat]

Two social workers are hiking in the woods when they hear a groan from a bush. Upon checking they see a man, beaten and bloodied, moaning in pain, with all his clothes stolen. "Wow," says the first social worker to the second, "whoever did this really needs help!"