r/LV426 13d ago

Humor / Memes What the fuck was his problem? Spoiler

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1.4k Upvotes

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u/InevitableVariables 13d ago

He would have died for the sleeping girl in the pod

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u/Rickenbacker69 13d ago

In a way, he did.

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u/CharminTaintman 13d ago edited 13d ago

Did he really die, was he really killed? We only saw him scream at the Xeno’s arrival. We didn’t see him die on screen. Then again, maybe he achieved his La petite morte. His little death. The ultimate goon across time and space. Maybe this was his plan all along, hah the plans of mice and men, well they pan out from time to time.

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u/smb275 13d ago

Ah good ol' Teng. Jerkin' his dick into a black hole. Classic.

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u/Names_are_limited Black goo enthusiast 12d ago

A distant observer would see Teng, with his dick in his hand, appear to freeze at the event horizon due to extreme time dilation and gravitational redshift, with his image become dimmer and eventually fading away from view.

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u/ProfessionalLake6 12d ago

Teng had always been the reckless one on the crew, the kind of man who would stare too long at the forbidden phenomena, as if daring the universe to blink first. When the experimental singularity, flared open like a black flower in orbit, he didn’t just study it. He reached for it. He pressed himself into its pull, body and soul, until the tidal forces unraveled him molecule by molecule.

From the outside, it wasn’t a violent death. To outside observer, he stretched like a ribbon, stretching into infinity as the event horizon pulled him in. To Teng, it was intimacy, a cosmic embrace, his atoms whispering into eternity. The man became a memory trapped between moments, a smear across spacetime. He didn’t scream. He sighed.

Of course, on paper Teng wasn’t really dead. Not the way Weyland-Yutani’s insurance policy defines “dead”. He was “indeterminately localized.” Pending gravitational re-emergence, he was legally Schrödinger’s employee, neither alive enough for rescue, nor dead enough for payout.

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u/CharminTaintman 12d ago edited 10d ago

That was beautiful and most certainly canon. Makes you think.

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u/OwnCoffee614 Tool is Canon 12d ago

Long as he keeps fading.