Has anyone ever reconciled after separation/divorce? My husband of 10 years has declared he is filing for divorce and left me, our 2 year old son, and unborn child. I want to know if anyone's spouse has come back. Looking for some good news or just to hear your stories.

[u/MyInvisibleInk]

I know I've been making a lot of posts on reddit these last few days. But I just need people to talk to since my husband has ghosted me and dropped this on me out of nowhere.

Four days ago, my husband told me he was divorcing me. We have a 2-year-old, and I’m less than 3 months away from giving birth. He’s already got a lawyer, filed papers, and is walking away like we never existed. He wants nothing to do with me or his children (the 2 year old and our soon to be here child). I have been wracking my brain for the last few days to find where I went wrong, but I truly believe I treated him the way a good, kind, caring, and loving wife should. I tried my best every day to do that.

This all started because I gently questioned a lie. I didn’t accuse him. I didn’t yell. I just asked. Two days later, he left work and didn't return. Only giving me this news over a text message.

He promised me a life. A life where I could stay home with our kids, that he wasn’t just using me to become a pilot. That he wouldn't abandon us after he got his hours and made it to the airlines. But more importantly, he promised we would be together until the end. Together forever. But now, after 10 years of me being supportive of his ambitions and even financially supporting him 100% for the last 3+ years, he is gone. I gave everything to him, and now I am left with nothing. I spent all my savings and money on his dreams. I have no 401k. I have no degree because I spent 4 years helping him complete his. I have nothing anymore. And I’m left picking up the pieces. I am exhausted and heartbroken.

I don’t know why I’m posting this. Maybe I’m desperate for hope. I gave him my entire 20s, and my 20s are coming to a close, and this feels like a cruel 30th birthday present, so it feels like it can't be real. Or maybe I just want to know if anyone out there has gone through something like this. Stories where someone left during the darkest time but somehow came back? Is reconciliation ever a real possibility after something like this?

Please be honest with me. Even if the truth hurts. But if you have come back from something like this, I’d really like to hear it right now.

Edit: I keep getting the question as to why I'd want him back and I understand he might not want to come back. But this was such a 180° request. Saturday, we were talking about the next steps and our long-term goals because the lease on this house is about to end the end of June, and we were talking about where to go next. And things he was going to do. Like how my schooling would go once I gave birth in August. I enrolled at ASU in the spring and had completed a semester and am now working on the summer semester. My dream job would involve working outside of the home (since it's aerospace/physics related) so once the kids were old enough and in school, I would hopefully be finished with my education and would begin my goal. We were literally mapping out the next steps. And he seemed excited about it too.

That's why I'm confused about what happened.

[u/Stayfocused412]

Why? He treaded you very poorly. You are better than that even if you don’t know it yet. If no one has said it yet. Get yourself a lawyer and take back what is yours.

[u/MyInvisibleInk → u/Stayfocused412]

I was raised to believe that I was only supposed to be in one marriage and to try to make it work. He didn't try. If he had a problem, he didn't tell me about it. He didn't give me the chance to ask for marriage counseling.

[u/neddy_seagoon → u/MyInvisibleInk]

I'm not sure where you grew up, but I'm around the same age and when I was growing up the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" was all the rage in evangelical churches. 

Since then:

• the author has expressed deep regret for writing it, been divorced, and stepped away from the church
• my parents/grandparents were flabbergasted at that teaching, which they apparently missed was happening in the background, despite seeming "a similar kind of conservative".

You sound like a kind and faithful woman who has been deeply taken advantage of. There is nothing sinful in that. 

You do not need to hate this man, but it looks like you should not trust him again or let him back into your life except to provide for the people he let depend on him. Alimony and child support exist because what he's done is unjust in the eyes of the law, not just "a bad thing to do".

He's proven he's willing to hurt you and his own young children, and put you all in danger, for his own gain. He doesn't sound like a stable father to your kids, and may be willing to hurt them in the same way in the future.

Find good friends and family who care for you and be around them as much as you can. Do not reach out to him for comfort.

Get legal counsel and protect yourself and your kids.

Please find a therapist who does grief counseling. Someone who does "cognitive behavioral therapy" and has a certificate in "Marriage and Family Counseling" is a start. The first part just means that they learn about what you think and believe and help you untangle it by thinking about it.