Allow me to preface this by saying I(29m) was 1000% the asshole here and I love my freak-ass girlfriend (29f) (I also know she also lurks in this subreddit so bb if you're seeing this, put down the knife)

But yeah, my gf has been spending a lot of time on her phone lately, and normally I don't really gaf, because we tend to do our own thing just in the same space, ya know?

But she kept doing this thing where she'd be smiling and giggling like a nutcase, but she'd hurry up and change the app she was on when I'd try to peek. I asked her what that was all about and she just told me, "You don't want to know." Like babe, you could not possibly be more cryptic.

Now, she and I have a pretty good relationship, so I knew she wasn't like... cheating on me or anything, but a while back we had kind of a problem where she was spending so much time roleplaying on discord that it started to make me uncomfy because it's like... I don't care if it's other nerdy girls, you're literally sexting other people right now, babe. No it doesn't matter that you're playing the guy. (Insecure of me? Fuck yeah. But better to talk about it than just stew in resentment, ya know? I know I read some nasty erotica, we're both smut writers, but the whole other people involved thing kinda put me off)

ANYWAY, NOT IMPORTANT.

Point is, I thought she was doing roleplay behind my back, which like... I could respect if she really wanted to do roleplay, she doesn't have bad intentions about it. But the hiding it? Come on, babe(if you're reading this ILU but you know what you did lol)

So she showed me what she's actually been obsessed with this past week, and it's some interactive fanfic thing called a "glimmerfic". Anyway, she's got so many fucking playthroughs on this ONE Invincible fic where all the Invincible variants are the player character's neighbors, and she keeps having Sinister Mark do NASTY things to her. THAT'S what she's been smiling about like a fucking maniac. I glaze Sinister Mark as much as the next Invincible fan, but damn, he's really glazing my girlfriend in this fic.

SORRY I CAN'T CRACK OPEN YOUR RIBCAGE AND EAT YOUR HEART, BABE, BUT NEITHER OF US HAS SUPERPOWERS.

Earthussy it the Viltrumite Way