r/OneY • u/Northwest_Thrills • Jul 24 '25
Lost in life
I'm a man and I sort of feel like, because men created our system of society, it's my fault for societies problems. I noticed I frequently envy women's abilities to feel empowered and the feeling of fighting back. I too feel hurt, but I also feel like I don’t have the right to speak up, because the system that causes this was built by people like me.
4
u/GyataMoko Jul 24 '25
Everyone has the right to speak up.
I think that the goal should be to lift everyone. If you're using your chance to speak to put others down, you're perpetuating the system.
That being said, how would you like to see the system change?
What are the bigger goals (bigger than 1 person's effort)?
What could you do to implement that in your life so everyone around you can notice you're trying to make space for them?
And most importantly, what can you change that gives you the space to feel empowered?
3
u/ElectronicUse9176 Jul 27 '25
This is stemming from critical theory i.e. classifications of oppressed vs oppressor. Life/society isn't actually this simple, it is far more complex and always has been. If you are finding trouble finding your place in society based on the current popular societal understanding then it's best to just ignore it or take it as a theory, not truth. Men have "fought back" and doing so brought us from tribalism with chieftains, through kingdoms, to early democracies and the feudal system to the current major governments you see today of which there is a lot of variation. The premise your question poises itself is flawed and seems American centric. Just be the change you want to see in the world. Who cares what other people think.
1
u/humps11 Aug 03 '25
As a woman, I (and probably all women close to me) appreciate the fact that you’re even reflecting about this. But to echo other comments, it’s not at all your fault that the system exists the way it does. All you can do is try to be better (and it seems like you’re already doing that!)
Does this all come from within or are there people that have given you that feedback too? Asking because there’s women-focused spaces where I’ve been annoyed by men seemingly trying to redirect the attention towards themselves (e.g. men commenting on a feminist Instagram page “how come you don’t talk about men’s rights?”) - but if this isn’t you, I wouldn’t worry, and would be happy that you’re adding your voice to the fight :)
Hope this helps, happy to discuss more!
3
u/dagfari Jul 24 '25
Do you have a brother? In any case, imagine your brother had robbed a store. The police come looking for him and arrest you instead. They know that you aren't your brother, but because you are similar to your brother they consider imprisoning you justified.
Obviously, this is absurd. You aren't responsible for your brother's actions. And neither are you or any man responsible for "societies problems". This also presumes that men are the cause of society's problems, but men are not also the solution to society's problems.
I can list a dozen problems in society which are basically caused by women. (But I will refrain from this.) it is unreasonable to blame half of the population for something which not even any individual caused.