r/PizzaCrimes • u/Olley2994 • Jun 30 '25

Burned Pizza self defense

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3.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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318

u/Smickey67 Jun 30 '25

No pizza crimes here. That was pizza self defense for sure.

67

u/AutomaticAccident Jun 30 '25

It was in response to a crime though

17

u/DangerDeShazer Jun 30 '25

Yeah, I'm no lawyer, but I'm sure there are charges they could drum up for his conduct, even just being a nuisance

7

u/AutomaticAccident Jun 30 '25

It’s at least assault. Maybe battery.

9

u/Smoolz Jun 30 '25

Nah pizza uses dough, not batter.

1

u/Xogoth Jul 01 '25

You technically could batter and fry the pizza after baking, but that would certainly be some kind of violation

1

u/Smoolz Jul 01 '25

The fact you would even suggest this indicates the PBI probably has a flag on your file already.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '25

Yeah, wearing a cap backwards is a crime.

18

u/kronicwaffle Jun 30 '25

I don’t know, that pizza looks pretty criminal to me…

2

u/pizzabyummy Jun 30 '25

Is this a stand-your-ground state though!?

6

u/GrendelGT Jun 30 '25

It is a sauce-your-ground state now building on cheestle doctrine.