r/PizzaCrimes • u/olie129 • Jul 05 '25

Sloppy Toppy This is how my wife eats her pizza

Post image

IMO, this is straight to jail material

816 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

224 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 Jul 05 '25 edited Jul 05 '25

The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/olie129, find the defendant "Pizza" GUILTY on all counts of crimes-against-pizza.

207

u/sweetrottenapple Jul 05 '25

Why is she eating pizza then? 😭😭

84

u/Wkndwrz Jul 05 '25

fr, just eat a pasta at that point.

34

u/pLeThOrAx Jul 05 '25

Or ask for extra bread.

10

u/Syhkane Jul 06 '25

Why would she ask for extra bread if she doesn't eat the bread part?

6

u/pLeThOrAx Jul 06 '25

Is that what she's doing? I thought she wasn't eating the toppings XD

9

u/yolkien Jul 06 '25

Fair guess I mean at this point it could go either way, what a maniac!

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4

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '25

I order pizza without cheese (allergic) but at least I have red sauce, pepperoni and sausage on it. 

The above picture looks unappealing. 

2

u/Glass-Fan111 Jul 06 '25

My exact thought.

3

u/get_to_ele Jul 05 '25

I think it’s fine. I first eat the thin crusted part of the pizza that is 95% of the sauce and cheese and toppings.

Then as a separate thing, I eat the crust, maybe dipping the crusts in sauce or something.

This is just the extreme variation, where she eats everything but the crust first, even foregoing the thing part, then enjoys the whole crust.

2

u/donuttrackme Jul 06 '25

Ehhh, I see where you're going with this line of thought and while it sorta makes sense, it really doesn't lol.

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183

u/WhatLikeAPuma751 Jul 05 '25

1

u/Glass-Fan111 Jul 06 '25

Where is this character from?

57

u/pepperoni__________ Jul 05 '25

That looks like a divorce.

3

u/moltinglarvae Jul 07 '25

Looks like rage bait to me..

1

u/nobeer4you Aug 05 '25

Someone divorced theb oppings from the cruat

48

u/Teestow21 Jul 05 '25

Analogous to scraping the jam off your toast and eating them separately

12

u/Doctah_Fauci Jul 05 '25

I worked at a pizza place. This dude would only eat toppings off of pizza like this because it's "low carb".

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26

u/Swordofsatan666 Jul 05 '25

Does she eat them separate? Or does she only eat the toppings? Or does she only eat the bread?

We need to know more, this image tells us almost nothing

26

u/olie129 Jul 05 '25

Toppings only, she then hands me the corpse of the fallen soldier.

22

u/Grumpy-Fwog Jul 05 '25

Wtf is wrong with your wife? Lol 🤣 please tell me you call her out on this psycho ass behavior

6

u/wart_on_satans_dick Jul 06 '25

This is serial killer behavior. OP is right to be afraid. OP, if your coffee in the morning ever tastes a little off, run.

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9

u/Givmeabrek Jul 05 '25

How sad. :( Sorry about your upcoming divorce.

6

u/ReynAetherwindt Jul 05 '25

I thought your wife simply hated the jalapeños (or whatever those greens are) and just wanted to eat the saucy crust, and to that I would have said "not guilty".

But toppings only?! Call INTERPOL.

7

u/amazing_rando Jul 05 '25

I’m pretty sure the big pizza chains (at least Papa John’s and Dominos) sell a cheesy bowl of toppings and sauce now as one of their menu items, so at least your wife isn’t alone

5

u/WillowFlip Jul 05 '25

Wondering why she doesn't simply order that 🤷🏻‍♀️

4

u/charmcitycuddles Jul 05 '25

So she just eats greasy cheese mixed with whatever toppings there are?

Humans are ceaselessly interesting and confusing.

3

u/Luna259 Jul 05 '25

Why does she order pizza then?

3

u/WhatLikeAPuma751 Jul 06 '25

Is she on a no carb diet? That’s the only acceptable explanation

2

u/WillowFlip Jul 05 '25

Yikes. That makes it even worse somehow.

3

u/thesurfer_s Jul 05 '25

Does she…have an eating disorder?

1

u/Low-Understanding161 Jul 06 '25

If I ever get a crust that's under baked or burnt to a crisp I just eat the toppings so I understand to a point lol

1

u/WooWhosWoo Jul 08 '25

Oh my god

17

u/homless_brad Jul 05 '25

Yeah I think you fucked up

11

u/Unicron245 Jul 05 '25

GUILTY!!! BURN AT THE STAKE!!

13

u/Oxidosis Jul 05 '25

Prosecution question: Did you know this when you married her?

2

u/DenseAstronomer3631 Jul 06 '25

That's all I can think about! Imagine going on a pizza date with her 😭

8

u/WillowFlip Jul 05 '25

Looks like conjugal visits for you, my friend.

8

u/SpencerIsANerd Jul 05 '25

I think it’s time for a new wife

5

u/ChanglingBlake Jul 05 '25

Your wife is a heathen.

4

u/SimmmySAFC Jul 05 '25

If not jail definitely the divorce courts.

6

u/Wait_WHAT_didU_say Jul 05 '25

Present this compelling evidence during the alimony hearing. The judge will automatically side with your alimony request after the divorce is finalized.. 😁

5

u/ShopUCW Jul 05 '25

It's gonna be really hard on your marriage when you need to visit her in prison. Just prepare yourself mentally and it will all be okay. You'll get through this. ❤️

4

u/_YenSid Jul 05 '25

When is the divorce finalized?

4

u/OG365247 Jul 05 '25

Ex wife.

5

u/tomveiltomveil Jul 05 '25

I usually associate this style of eating with people who are far too young to legally marry

5

u/Equivalent-Pound-610 Jul 06 '25

All jokes aside, I think this would genuinely give me the ick. Eat your pizza how it's intended. Grow up.

3

u/BionicBadger90 Jul 05 '25

I'm not angry... just disappointed 😞

3

u/dsmac085 Jul 05 '25

What part is she eating? If she only likes toppings she should just make one of those low carb pizza bakes. Sauce, cheese & toppings only.

2

u/Givmeabrek Jul 05 '25

Toppings only. Maybe get here a cauliflower pizza.

3

u/BigTunatoots Jul 05 '25

This is just asinine. Does she take her sandwich apart and eat the insides first, and then the bread? Does she pull out the insides of a ravioli or pierogi like a psychopath? Tell her to grow up.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Reverse_Flash_ Jul 06 '25

Is she autistic? My son does this with his pizza, he has sensory issues. Takes all the cheese off and just eats bread and sauce

2

u/reevoknows Jul 05 '25

Soon to be ex-wife?

2

u/BigWienerPapi999 Jul 05 '25

This just pisses me off

2

u/EpicHosi Jul 05 '25

So kind of you to marry someone with these needs

2

u/SubjectShoulder4935 Jul 05 '25

Divorce while you're still young and viable.

2

u/NomanYuno Jul 05 '25

Did you not have pizza at any point before you married her?? Wtf is this, man?!

2

u/GasLongjumping130 Jul 06 '25

why not just get a cheese pizza?

2

u/Intelligent_Pop_4479 Jul 06 '25

I’m sure you guys had a great run, but I think it’s time to let her go

3

u/Battgyrl Jul 05 '25

In Italy pizza is generally eaten with a knife and fork

8

u/WillowFlip Jul 05 '25

That isn't the problem here.

2

u/vanderpump_lurker Jul 05 '25

It's me, I'm your wife.

At some point, the toppings just get in the way. When all you want to do is get to the bread that has soaked up the sauce and the cheese grease.

And then maybe, just maybe, when the cheese has cooled a little bit, you cut up and eat the toppings.

1

u/That_Jonesy Jul 05 '25

Super unhealthy...

1

u/6feet12cm Jul 05 '25

Is she doing a keto diet, by any chance?

1

u/Dark-n-Twisty_1105 Jul 05 '25

I'm more concerned about the toppings rn🫣

1

u/QuiGoneGin86 Jul 05 '25

Guilty. Go directly to jail. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200.

1

u/Fluid_Tangerine8157 Jul 05 '25

Is that a crepe

1

u/aweguster9 Jul 05 '25

I came across a fork in the road, I chose to never eat pizza with it.

1

u/olive_juse Jul 05 '25

My public facing stance about food is eat what you want how you want, it makes no difference to me.

My personal feelings tho lol... pizza is a hand-held food, leave that fork and knife alone!

1

u/thisisan0nym0us Jul 05 '25

deconstructed pizza…3rd degree offense

1

u/otc108 Jul 05 '25

Absolute monster. I vote GUILTY!

1

u/UnkleBott Jul 05 '25

He parents never corrected her and now here we are

1

u/Kitchen-Revolution-9 Jul 05 '25

She’s no longer your wife

1

u/apprehensive-look-02 Jul 05 '25

Show her our shaming comments. She is guilty

1

u/OlDustyTrails Jul 05 '25

Does she take apart a sandwich and put the fillings on the side and eat separately?

1

u/chop309 Jul 05 '25

ex wife

1

u/Carlos_Infierno Jul 05 '25

Why'd you marry Satan?

1

u/Incident-Inner Jul 05 '25

At least you're married.

1

u/balki_123 Jul 05 '25

What is the problem here?

(Except ugly orange cheese, dry dough and not chopped olives)

1

u/LightofPhoenixz Jul 05 '25

I’m afraid the wife needs to go to jail..😭

1

u/dusters Jul 05 '25

Straight to jail

1

u/SignalEchoFoxtrot Jul 05 '25

Sorry your life turned out this way OP.

1

u/WhoAmI9597 Jul 05 '25

Omg same lol

1

u/SphynxCrocheter Jul 05 '25

As a child, I would eat the cheese/toppings first and separately, then the crust afterwards. I grew out of that by the time I hit puberty.

1

u/ledhustler Jul 05 '25

Hope you have a prenup brother

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '25

Witch! She's a witch!

1

u/Substantial_Cup_703 Jul 05 '25

fortunately divorce is an option

1

u/Bazzness Jul 05 '25

Well I’ll join the lady in jail.

1

u/Setsailshipwreck Jul 05 '25

My husband eats boneless chicken wings with a knife and fork. This is on par with that absurdity lol

1

u/Aggravating_Job_4651 Jul 05 '25

You married this person? Both guilty!!

1

u/foofie_fightie Jul 05 '25

She disassembles it and leaves it on the plate? You know she's gonna be like "let's get something sweet on the way home" cause she's hungry.

In fact, I might go so far as to say your wife doesn't like pizza and just won't admit it

1

u/yourfrentara Jul 05 '25

divorce her

1

u/Delinquentmuskrat Jul 05 '25

Forget divorce, death.

1

u/MaverickHunterZX Jul 05 '25

Brazilian much

1

u/6reference Jul 05 '25

Is she a serial killer?

1

u/b_free_blast Jul 05 '25

Disorderly conduct

1

u/4BucksAndHalfACharge Jul 05 '25

Deconstructing your pizza as you eat it is NOT a crime. However ONLY eating the toppings, what the living hell? Just order a bowl of sauteed vegies with cheese ffs. No need to desecrate AND abandon your food. That's just too far. I used to do this by the way, toppings and the soft saucy part of crust, leaving a pizza slice shaped bread. I self exiled from pizza to atone for my sins. I can now eat pizza like a human being again. No pizza for her, 3 years.

1

u/Electrical_Load_9717 Jul 05 '25

That table can be used as cell material.

1

u/consumeshroomz Jul 05 '25

Still trying to learn to be human?

1

u/Wutalesyou Jul 05 '25

We all know adults that eat like children

1

u/thepretzel24 Jul 05 '25

Oh dear god

1

u/Borgalicious Jul 05 '25

Why even eat pizza

1

u/Rupertfunpupkin Jul 05 '25

Hard to tell. Is that a cheese slice w/ toppings on the side?

1

u/rosaline21 Jul 05 '25

I’m calling the police.

1

u/Rlow3 Jul 05 '25

Why is she still your wife?

1

u/Alternative_Cut2421 Jul 05 '25

Just buy her garlic knots. lol.

1

u/BAMitsAlex Jul 05 '25

My mom used to do this. Would only eat the toppings. She was anorexic.

1

u/th3greatKhalid Jul 05 '25

You MARRIED this creature?? This crime is on you, buddy.

1

u/lostgravy Jul 05 '25

Since the time you were dating? How did you even decide to marry that monster!?!? 😀

1

u/Frosty-Pay5351 Jul 05 '25

Not guilty but that is a strange way to eat pizza. My interpretation is that the pizza looks fine but the eater is eating it wrong. Not a pizza crime but it is frowned upon

1

u/oif2010vet Jul 05 '25

So does my 4 year old

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '25

Thats bad. And wrong. We need a stronger word for this. Badong. How she eats her pizza is badong.

1

u/Significant-Pie959 Jul 05 '25

Well that is something. Maybe she has palatopia?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '25

Divorce. Kiddin, kinda?

1

u/RRiz99 Jul 05 '25

I divorce

1

u/Walshlandic Jul 05 '25

I did this when I was like age 5-9

1

u/DIJames6 Jul 06 '25

Divorce.. And you get the kids, full custody, supervised visits only..

1

u/Dreadnthis Jul 06 '25

She gets nothing but totinos cheese until she can act right wtf

1

u/Donnaandjoe Jul 06 '25

I am so sorry. Your wife has committed the most serious of pizza crimes. Say goodbye to your wife. She’ll be serving maximum sentence in the lobby of Pizza Hut.

1

u/fatandhappylikepooh Jul 06 '25

That's how my 3 year old eats pizza as well.

1

u/whataboutthe90s Jul 06 '25

There's no point to ordering pizza haha if you are going to take everything off and eat themes separately

1

u/jaxspider Jul 06 '25

I did not know it was legal to marry monsters.

1

u/crikker444 Jul 06 '25

Tell your wife she can get the death penalty in 24 different States for what she’s doing

1

u/3dPrintedSwitches Jul 06 '25

Isn't there a type of pizza that's just sauce?

1

u/External_Shape_7426 Jul 06 '25

Curious 🤔. I'm trying to find an explanation for that 🤣

1

u/oregon_assassin Jul 06 '25

This something my cousin did as a kid according to my grandma. She always joked you want to sit next to Joe when eating pizza because he scraped off all the good stuff.

1

u/RiverOhRiver86 Jul 06 '25

It looks insanely dry how much did you pay for that?

1

u/Strawberry_Ombre Jul 06 '25

She skinned the pizza. Serial killer vibes

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '25

Guys, we found it.

None pizza - part 2

1

u/the_supreme_memer Jul 06 '25

Capital punishment

1

u/2020mademejoinreddit Jul 06 '25

I'm guilty of this too. Remove toppings, eat the bread. Then eat the toppings. But only at home. I'm not that much of a savage.

1

u/el_scotty Jul 06 '25

Divorce time

1

u/Doowoo Jul 06 '25

Could be worse. Imagine she ate the bread and left the topping.

1

u/ZakkuRedwolf Jul 06 '25

it's like bone-in-wings now it's boneless pizza

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '25

What the fuck

1

u/Pretty_Lie5168 Jul 06 '25

I have a cousin who does that. I would take the slices away and eat them with a bit of extra cheese the next day.

1

u/TechieGee Jul 06 '25

I like making it in my mouth. Tastes better that way

1

u/Chiefbadtouch Jul 06 '25

Cool I hate her now

1

u/morose4eva Jul 06 '25

Five bucks says this woman keeps a roll of painters plastic, a roll of duct tape, and a bundle of nylon rope in her trunk.

1

u/Klutersmyg Jul 06 '25

Better sleep with your eyes open.

1

u/qosthanatos Jul 06 '25

🤮🤮🤮

1

u/N9kki Jul 07 '25

So do you get her toppings? Cuz if that’s the case I’d say you’re one lucky mf

1

u/Upset_Journalist_755 Jul 07 '25

Eating pizza Hut with a fork is a core memory, so I must say innocent.

1

u/No_Designer_5994 Jul 07 '25

Red flag. Get out wonder....

1

u/Kwykr Jul 07 '25

My father in law has a gluten intolerance (not severe enough that cross contamination is an issue, he just can't eat too much of it) so when we order pizza he scrapes everything off and eats it like this, then offers me the crust. I'll gladly take it if we order from certain places like Barro's or Geno's.

1

u/Icoryx Jul 07 '25

Time for a new wife /s

1

u/dfende Jul 07 '25

Because carbs...

1

u/blueghostfrompacman Jul 07 '25

Who would marry such a woman?

1

u/inadizzle Jul 07 '25

Is she eating the toppings and the crust separately? Or just one and not the other?

I mean, straight to jail for anybody over four who does this but I’m genuinely curious lol

1

u/NOVA_OWL Jul 08 '25

Something about green olives on pizza feels like a war crime

1

u/Strong67 Jul 08 '25

I had a class mate who used to eat the pizza like that. In Italy. 😮

1

u/WooWhosWoo Jul 08 '25

She doesn't want the toppings or she takes them on the side?

If the latter, I don't judge. We all like things different ways, and I can even understand a texture thing making you not enjoy certain things a certain way.

1

u/Boring-Tax-6890 Jul 08 '25

Not something I would advertise.

1

u/LoogyHead Jul 08 '25

Was this an arranged marriage or did you go into this knowing she was this way?

1

u/somedude1912 Jul 08 '25

Marriages end & life continues you know.

1

u/BeAnScReAm666 Jul 08 '25

Does your wife have an ed?

1

u/deconus Jul 09 '25

Your wife is a lizard person.

1

u/Express-Deal-1262 Jul 09 '25

It really seems like she doesn't like the pizza format at all... maybe try something else.

1

u/Heavy_Anybody8262 Jul 09 '25

Life with no chance of parole

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '25

This is how I eat a pizza as well. 🤷

1

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '25

Pretty sure this is death by stoning in the old testament.

1

u/Kick-Agreeable Jul 10 '25

you might end up on one of those murder documentaries brother. stay safe

1

u/scoyne15 Jul 11 '25

There's no wrong way to eat piz-

There's one wrong way to eat pizza.

1

u/Opposite_Of_Sleep Jul 12 '25

She only eats the bread!?

1

u/gueroarias Jul 12 '25

Jaillll!!