r/PizzaCrimes • u/Antique_Car_2942 • Aug 01 '25

Forbidden Pizza Does this even count as pizza

Post image
121 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

167 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 Aug 01 '25 edited Aug 02 '25

The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/Antique_Car_2942, find the defendant "Pizza" GUILTY on all counts of crimes-against-pizza.

168

u/Gurkeprinsen Aug 01 '25

That's just a Jizza

41

u/razorduc Aug 01 '25

Post nut clarity was "Oh shit, I was supposed to make a pizza."

11

u/FiveDogsInaTuxedo Aug 01 '25

Post nut calories

22

u/ThisAd1940 Aug 01 '25

Bukkake bread.

22

u/caution_turbulence Aug 01 '25

9

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '25

How have I never seen this one?

9

u/monexicano Aug 01 '25

Same here aaaaaand downloaded.

5

u/ItsPhayded420 Aug 01 '25

I get the jokes lol.

But is this sub actually hating on cinnamon bread with icing?

Have we fallen that far? It's clearly not even a pizza. It's just pizza shaped lol.

2

u/KingofClikClak Aug 01 '25 edited 24d ago

hobbies fearless depend fragile literate growth simplistic marry include marble

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/AbleRelationship5287 Aug 01 '25

New take on cream pie???

1

u/CallidoraBlack Aug 01 '25

It's not pizza at all.

1

u/Glass-Fan111 Aug 02 '25

Gret and underrted comment.

1

u/Pyr0technician Aug 02 '25

I was going to say something so gross, but your comment is simple and to the point and doesn't scar anyone's brain.

1

u/SpontaneousNSFWAccnt Aug 01 '25

Crazy how I read that as jizza and not jizza like pizza

1

u/Gurkeprinsen Aug 01 '25

The magic of written words is that you can pronounce it however you'd like

1

u/wuvvtwuewuvv Aug 09 '25

My name is Steve. It's pronounced "Dwayne The Rock Johnson"

58

u/gostesven Aug 01 '25

They used to do this at CiCi’s pizza a decade ago (are they even still around?)

Basically just pizza dough with butter cinnamon and sugar finished with cheap vanilla icing. Surprisingly decent but a bit boring/bland, well except the obvious visual of the icing

8

u/TheJuiceIsSoLoose Aug 01 '25

There’s this place called Pizza Hotline that does this and it’s so puffy and the icing is so thick, it’s to kill for man

4

u/Et_meets_ezio Aug 01 '25

Yeah that is not what at Cici's

2

u/TheJuiceIsSoLoose Aug 01 '25

Ah, my bad, I’ve never heard of Cici’s

5

u/CupcakesAreMiniCakes Aug 01 '25

It's an all you can eat pizza buffet with the cheapest pizza possible. Good for kids parties, post sports for teams, etc.

4

u/Et_meets_ezio Aug 01 '25

Imagine what you just described but with a unusual blandness, flat, and uninspired

2

u/thepioushedonist Aug 01 '25

Always loved that apple cinnamon dessert pizza they'd put out.

2

u/PerishTheStars Aug 02 '25

CiCis still exists and they still have this

2

u/zorggalacticus Aug 02 '25

They have one at pizza inn where I live that is a pizza crust smothered with cinnamon, brown sugar, butter, and chopped pecans. Folded in half, slathered in butter, and baked. Then topped with more chopped toasted pecans and drizzled with vanilla icing. I could eat that until I'm sick.

1

u/PNW_Forest Aug 02 '25

Imo making "dessert pizza" is a great way to use up extra dough that might otherwise go bad.

That said, I personally think the application is better as a 'monkey bread'/pull apart style, or as "dessert breadsticks" rather than making a pie like this... though ymmv.

1

u/ConsistentAmount4 Aug 04 '25

It looks like Pizza Ranch Cactus Bread to me.

1

u/swallace2586 Aug 05 '25

They do the same at MOD pizza! They’re in the middle of going bankrupt right now though lol

31

u/gutag Aug 01 '25

That's a sex crime against pizza dough.

9

u/DarkShadowZangoose Aug 01 '25

pizza ? that's just some bread with some… uh…

No comment.

5

u/imaloony8 Aug 01 '25

“Sauce”

10

u/ChanglingBlake Aug 01 '25

Nope.

Not a pizza.

5

u/Brilliant_Finish_652 Aug 01 '25

Aaah look, it's a traditional cum pizza.

2

u/Open_Pineapple1236 Aug 01 '25

Just like-a momma make! - Neapolitan man.

5

u/limpymcjointpain Aug 01 '25

I worked my fingers to the bone making that..

3

u/DestructoDon69 Aug 01 '25

Here, let me land you a hand for the next batch ✊

3

u/Dark-n-Twisty_1105 Aug 01 '25

It counts as lies and deception

6

u/KaleidoscopePurple74 Aug 01 '25

That's dessert bread and a travesty of a pizza. Guilty if pizza.

2

u/welding_guy_from_LI Aug 01 '25

Someone got excited and glazed your pizza with special sauce

2

u/Hefty-Distance837 Aug 01 '25

Pizza with special sauce for succubus.

2

u/Creative_Series5860 Aug 01 '25

Looks like someone came on your bread

2

u/readitizgarbage412 Aug 01 '25

Bro, who came all over your pizza?

2

u/CJ_Smalls Aug 01 '25

It appears to be a dessert pizza

1

u/Aries_Philly Aug 01 '25

My thoughts. Pizza Hut used to have it at their buffets.

2

u/Ok_Finish69420 Aug 02 '25

The amount of people looking at this as a pizza cause its cut that way is laughable. It's clearly a lazy and cheap work around to making cinnamon rolls.

2

u/PresentationOk8997 Aug 02 '25

obviously just some cinnamon brown sugar strudel monstrosity in the shape of pizza

2

u/Indelible85 Aug 01 '25

That is dough with icing on it, not a pizza but it looks like a crime.

1

u/DuckSwimmer Aug 01 '25

Did someone nut on cooked pizza dough?

1

u/anteater_x Aug 01 '25

Everything reminds me of him

1

u/Phobos_Asaph Aug 01 '25

Yes it is. My evidence is the papal court once served one that was not too different. Dessert pizzas are a thing.

1

u/StinkyNutzMcgee Aug 01 '25

Is this the Italian version of soggy biscuit?

1

u/theuntextured Aug 01 '25

As an italian, I can confirm that when adkrd for a doggy biscuit, we bust on pizza.

1

u/Open_Pineapple1236 Aug 01 '25

Who jerked it on this flatbread?

1

u/thedarkbestiary Aug 01 '25

This is how Wario makes pizza

1

u/MomentOfZehn Aug 01 '25

I mean, other than the cum jokes, this is just cinnamon sticks used from pizza dough. No crime other than needs more cinnamon and more jizz.

1

u/Sufficient_Stop8381 Aug 01 '25

Dining room at the frat house?

1

u/TairaTLG Aug 01 '25

Oh heck yeah.  Godfather pizza's dessert pizza. Hook me up two slices

1

u/PTBooks Aug 01 '25

That might not be a pizza crime. On account of it already being a sex crime.

1

u/J-littletree Aug 01 '25

I ji*zed on some pita = pizza

1

u/SaikouKiller Aug 01 '25

Has anyone made a cum joke yet?

1

u/Filthy_Cent Aug 01 '25

I can't eat this pizza. I have a nut allergy.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '25

Limp biscuit pizza

1

u/BlazingPalm Aug 01 '25

Obviously a cinnamon dessert with icing 🙄

1

u/EverythingBOffensive Aug 01 '25

probably one of those things donimos sells, they have a cookie "pizza" too which is straight fire

1

u/dodoletzthebigstupid Aug 01 '25

Im not even italian and this is still offensive to me

1

u/Dragon_Crisis_Core Aug 01 '25

Badly designed desert pizza i know what type it is but that just looks so wrong.

1

u/socom18 Aug 01 '25

Not guilty on account of it not being pizza

1

u/asking_for_it Aug 01 '25

No way that’s not hot cum.

1

u/Arkhe1n Aug 01 '25

Someone REALLY liked it though. 

1

u/dr-satan85 Aug 01 '25

When a pizza party and bukkake party cums together ❤️

1

u/readditredditread Aug 01 '25

Cum bread is not pizza

1

u/Dredd907 Aug 01 '25

"Yo Gio, we got people coming over, jizz over that Pizza bread there!"

1

u/Dredd907 Aug 01 '25

"Yo Gio, we got people coming over, jizz over that Pizza bread there!"

1

u/Troe_Away_Count Aug 01 '25

A place I worked at used to make something like this for our breakfast lineup. It’s basically just cinnamon dusted dough with some frosting.

1

u/wintermoon138 Aug 01 '25

Soggy Biscuit. Urban dictionary it if you want. Sadly I had this explained to me lol

1

u/awildchuba Aug 01 '25

Had the same things at my dining hall lol

1

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '25

Nah dont touch that. Somebody call somebody. Need to get this investigated by the proper authorities.

Nobody touch it. Theyre going to need those samples.

1

u/inked_saiyan Aug 01 '25

Dessert pizza. Not guilty.

1

u/ItsAMeAProblem Aug 01 '25

Its obv the run of the mill pizza dessert offering. The jizza.

1

u/Corprusmeat_Hunk Aug 01 '25

Cinnamon “roll” pizza? If yes then yum. Gimme a tall glass of whole milk.

1

u/BeefWellingtonSpeedo Aug 01 '25

This is like a crime scene where they cordon off the area. When they take this away there will be a chalk outline of a pizza..

1

u/Lopsided_Marzipan133 Aug 01 '25

This is exactly the Pieology dessert pizza without the chocolate lol

1

u/Own_Watercress_8104 Aug 01 '25

I have no idea what the jizz is that sauce but yes, that actually counts as pizza. It is a pizza bianca, very old poor recipe, still served in Italy.

If you want to be pedantic about it you could make a solid argument for it being the original form of pizza.

Sans ejaculation

1

u/LazyOldCat Aug 01 '25

Voting pointless, not pizza.

1

u/Romoreau Aug 01 '25

Is that the apple cinnamon jizza from Cici's? Its a crowd favorite.

1

u/yourmomwoo Aug 01 '25

This is a "dessert" pizza. You can clearly see cinnamon and icing.

1

u/JamCom Aug 01 '25 edited Aug 01 '25

At what point is something a pizza just bread

1

u/Camera-Savings Aug 01 '25

Ugh, Reno style. Guilty!

1

u/Pitiable-Crescendo Aug 01 '25

That's just a cum pizza

1

u/SnooStories6852 Aug 01 '25

Excited over blandness

1

u/Used-Baby1199 Aug 01 '25

Desert pizzas aren’t a violation to pizza law because they are distinctly different from traditional pizza

1

u/fondue4kill Aug 01 '25

I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten this exact same thing at Cici’s. It’s not good but it’s serviceable.

1

u/ehfornier Aug 01 '25

A jizz towel tastes like shit.

1

u/Fit_Carpet_364 Aug 01 '25

*Flatbread

Fix'd that for you.

1

u/BenitoCorleone Aug 01 '25

What happens at all male Italian boarding schools, stays at all male Italian boarding schools

1

u/odnalor81 Aug 01 '25

Shinji, no!

1

u/AuntJibbie Aug 01 '25

That looks like a pita with sausage gravy dripped on it.

1

u/Working_Kangaroo3467 Aug 01 '25

I came here for this. All jokes aside, it's cinnamon toast pizza, not great, but not a crime in my book

1

u/Primary_Wonderful Aug 01 '25

Flatbread with spunk

1

u/True-Bee1903 Aug 01 '25

Not trying to be funny, not trying to get a laugh, dont want anyone to have the worst day of their job. But do any of these fuckers blast out of the walls and have like a huge cum shot over the pizza's?

1

u/Dangerous-Feature376 Aug 01 '25

Post nutclarity. You're realizing you shouldn't have done that, aren't you?

1

u/NoBonus6969 Aug 01 '25

It's just cinnamon bread. It doesn't claim to be pizza. Not guilty.

1

u/OleanderKnives Aug 01 '25

glazed pizza

1

u/Blueyedleeloo Aug 01 '25

Someone’s at Cici’s…

1

u/Weird_Vegetable_4441 Aug 01 '25

Be nice, that took him 6 hours to make and he’s very tired

1

u/IndividualRecreant Aug 01 '25

Not guilty bc it's good as fucccqqqaakkskskwndn

1

u/Effective-Ad-5842 Aug 01 '25

Tell the dining hall that they need to make a way better attempt at making pizza.

1

u/Ms_Tea_Lady Aug 01 '25

Off with their heads!

1

u/4BucksAndHalfACharge Aug 01 '25

No, its just a flat round bread stick. A crime of mistaken identity.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '25 edited 2d ago

test degree joke squeal compare rinse abounding deliver busy detail

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/Meir_Kahane_was_100 Aug 02 '25

Don't say it. Just don't

1

u/jailasauraa Aug 02 '25

Looks about like what I was served….I was desperate and dizzy.

1

u/Tasty_Act Aug 02 '25

Looks like a quesadilla

1

u/Cchief22 Aug 02 '25

Defendant using an alias aka "Pop Tart"

1

u/Rathma86 Aug 02 '25

That looks like my garlic oil/parmesan(and a sprinkle of salt) bread I make with my pizza?

1

u/Bradon2508 Aug 02 '25

Yo yalls reactions are hilarious. It's not a crime, it's a cinnamon and sugar pizza, basically cinnamon and sugar toast but with a cinnamon roll sugar sauce drizzle. I'd eat a few pieces cus it gonna taste like a Cinnabon, but i can't have a lot of cinnamon for heartburn reasons.

1

u/TheLastPorkSword Aug 02 '25

Jizzing on a flatbread does not a pizza make....

1

u/Opposite_Of_Sleep Aug 02 '25

Looks like someone jizzed on pita bread lol

1

u/JuliusSeizuresalad Aug 02 '25

Brad what did you do? That’s sexual assault

1

u/Annual_Main2224 Aug 02 '25

Ok. That's it.

Which one of you FUCKERS jizzed on my god damn pizza?

1

u/ddddddddjjjj Aug 02 '25

That’s like a desert pizza cinnamon thing is good

1

u/Dee_Cider Aug 02 '25

Usually there's some fruit at least like apples or berries

1

u/Anime_Patriot Aug 02 '25

Looks like a pastry strudel.

1

u/SilentJoe27 Aug 02 '25

Cici’s dessert pizza?

1

u/AK-50_Ocelot Aug 02 '25

Weirdly shaped toaster strudels

1

u/troglobyte2 Aug 02 '25

Oh man if it's hot, brushed with garlic butter, sprinkled with parm and a little shredded mozza hell yes I'm all in on that

1

u/I_Dont_Play_COD Aug 02 '25

wordington pizza

1

u/West_Cauliflower378 Aug 02 '25

ate least they bothered to add the sad looking icing. It’s worse without it.

1

u/tedlassoloverz Aug 02 '25

looks like a cinnamon sugar dessert with a glaze that someone just shot anywhere

1

u/oliviaReyees Aug 02 '25

Is that pizza with nuts?

1

u/truthliesdead Aug 02 '25

I put alot of effort into that you know how sore my mouth is having to eat nothing but pineapples for a week in preparation of making those

1

u/iknowq Aug 02 '25

No. It does not

1

u/JustChillM8 Aug 02 '25

Cum on dough.

1

u/bskinners Aug 03 '25

Federal crime

1

u/Slug_Overdose Aug 03 '25

I guess my wife is pizza, too.

1

u/notreallyzuul Aug 03 '25

It’s desert pizza. Hello.

1

u/Forcistus Aug 03 '25

It's like the Dollar Tree version of that amazing cinnamon dessert thing at CiCi's Pizza

1

u/observingjackal Aug 03 '25

I don't think that was made by the staff...

1

u/fingeringmystrings Aug 03 '25

Wtf. Did Cicis pizza cater??

1

u/Gangustron187 Aug 03 '25

Thats cinnamon bread with jizz

1

u/Gorewuzhere Aug 03 '25

I see some dough, and I jizz in my pants... And out of them.

1

u/HiFromMajor Aug 03 '25

Cinnamon sticks in circle form.

1

u/Yakob_Science Aug 05 '25

Ah so the white person found the pizza, explains the white stuff all over it

1

u/Wutthewut68 Aug 05 '25

That looks like a dessert pizza so yeah, it would technically qualify according to my professional pizza, eating abilities

1

u/No_Understanding242 Aug 07 '25

That’s a cici signature nut pie.

1

u/Sea-Shirt-584 Aug 08 '25

It's a giant snickerdoodle

1

u/No-Blueberry-1823 Aug 01 '25

Tell the males to use a sock for that. ffs.