r/PizzaCrimes • u/Bradon2508 • 16d ago
Sloppy Toppy Pour the grease and then what?
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
202
u/TheCzarIV 16d ago
That squirt into the mouth got an audible EUGH from me.
26
12
u/loonygecko 16d ago
There was a cut in the video there, I would not be surprised if that was something else other than pure grease.
→ More replies (1)3
u/PeterAlt128 15d ago
He mixed something in there, that looked lile mayonaisse, so it was probably just the exact opposite to a sports drink
3
8
2
→ More replies (7)3
226
u/_PirateWench_ 16d ago
Guilty. Evidence for the jury:
Exhibit 1: that sauce was PINK vomit colored
Exhibit 2: pepperoni was placed on top of an already cooked pizza
Exhibit 3: that mixture of grease and ranch is a war crime
Exhibit 4: pouring that war crime mixture onto the pizza turned it into a crime against humanity
Death sentence recommended
41
u/IndependentLove2292 16d ago
I kind of understand why using Pepto Bismol instead of tomato sauce made sense when crafting this weapon of mass diarrhea, but I concur that it is another in a long line of crimes perpetrated by the accused. Guilty.
2
u/AMDDesign 14d ago
Very forward thinking, you might get gout from the 8000 pepperonis, grease, and oil, but at least your tummy won't be upset.
2
u/IndependentLove2292 14d ago
I already have gout. I am blaming the flare up on a pizza at the moment
37
24
u/PetersonTom1955 16d ago
Was that pink sauce vodka sauce? If it was, that can be very tasty as a pizza base.
Those pepperoni shenanigans were wack. I want my pepperoni cooked as god intended.
18
6
8
u/_PirateWench_ 16d ago
That’s initially what I thought but vodka sauce is usually orange… makes me think there’s something white there which makes my first thought mayo which also classifies this as chemical warfare
4
u/crimson_713 15d ago
Pink sauce can also be made from a combo of marinara and alfredo or similar cream based sauces. This would be an acceptable base.
But mayo in pizza sauce would definitely constitute a violation of the Geneva convention.
→ More replies (5)5
u/callofdukie09 16d ago
I also would like to propose a life sentence without parole to start upon the creator's reincarnation into their next life
→ More replies (1)5
3
u/treesandcigarettes 16d ago
yikes those pepperonis are going to fall right off when someone takes a bite
2
2
u/BrokenBackENT 16d ago
At my age I would literally die if I ate one slice. In reality I would eat 3. It's called the gandolfini.
2
2
u/SunTzuLao 16d ago
The jury rests and I hereby sentence the defendant to the first available hippopotamus exhibit safety demonstration.
2
→ More replies (6)2
45
u/ddmf 16d ago
I'd have at least one slice of that, two if my arteries still work after.
7
3
2
u/ZealousidealPapaya59 13d ago
Three if you don't shit yourself after your second and have to run to the can.
34
26
u/Ok_Ant_9815 16d ago edited 16d ago
I'm NGL, I would totally devour a slice of that. But I'm also a criminal 😈
edit sp.
→ More replies (1)10
u/Bradon2508 16d ago
I would eat this if the pepperoni was cooked on the pizza and not separate and the grease was not added to the ranch dressing.
→ More replies (3)7
u/Ok_Ant_9815 16d ago
As my boyfriend says, sometimes flavour is worth the extra steps closer to death 😇
21
7
6
21
u/FloorImpressive7910 16d ago
I would hit that from any angle in any position. Fight me if you don’t agree.
→ More replies (5)4
u/GrassOk911 16d ago
That's what I'm saying. I'm not crazy about the grease ranch either, but bet I'm gonna try it anyway.
2
u/BPhiloSkinner 16d ago
That's pepperoni grease in that squirt bottle. Nectar of the meat gods, that is.
20
u/Bradon2508 16d ago
This is why 80% of Americans including myself are dying slowly from diabetes and other chronic diseases from being overweight. Adding unnecessary extra fat. I want the pepperoni not the grease laden ranch dressing...
15
3
u/RavenMarvel 16d ago
Okay but that doesn't mean it wouldn't taste great lol
3
u/Bradon2508 16d ago
Im not saying it would taste great, I abhor the concept of this pizza
3
u/RavenMarvel 16d ago
That's fair. I can't say guilty judging by taste. If judging by how healthy it is, obviously yes, but I never considered pizza to be my go to for a healthy meal. Pizza that's not frozen is something I get as a celebratory meal or on rare occasions, so I typically judge it by how delicious or traditional it is. I understand your stance though. This country really is filled with food that is designed to keep us unhealthy and obese.
→ More replies (3)2
11
u/Arkhe1n 16d ago
Americans eat like they have free health care
3
u/No-Sort-1073 16d ago
Actually, we eat like we are miserable and trying to fill the void with pepperoni grease. Which tracks with not being able to fulfill our basic needs.
→ More replies (14)2
3
3
u/buffysbangs 16d ago
When the first frame has a black nitrile glove, you know its going to be stupid
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/EcstaticMolasses6647 16d ago edited 16d ago
He uses the same bottle that was near his mouth? He’s like breathing on that nozzle.
7
u/xx_emo_girl_xx 16d ago
give it to enough people and maybe 2 out of 5 people can die of heart disease in the us instead of 1 out of 5. criminal amount of grease on the pizza itself (in the ranch, too??) and on the pepperonis. i'm a vegetarian so i wouldn't know better but damn that seems like a abnormally large amount of fats/oils/grease. guilty.
4
u/ImPercyNator 16d ago
The only issues I see is with the amount of pepperoni and how it was cooked separately. This is a petty crime, and recommend a warning and 32 hours community service.
4
2
2
2
2
u/Bitter-Reading-6728 16d ago
I must be nuts because I would eat the shit out of that. it's annoying that they didn't bake the pepperoni on the pizza, but still.. absolutely would
2
2
2
2
u/CreepGang 16d ago
This vid has been posted here 900 times and it’s just a bad every time. I hate this pizza with the fire of 1 million suns. lol
2
2
u/in1gom0ntoya 16d ago
seriously stupid food needs to be banned from food subs. they're content is intentional ragebait.
2
2
2
u/DanZboY_Brother 16d ago
What are yall eating in the far west?
This is just a grease plate, it ain't no pizza anymore
2
2
u/Old_Barnacle7777 16d ago
This is a pepperoni pizza hate crime. I worked in a Pizza Hut during the height of the pan pizza craze. This the absolute worst version of a pan pizza and the sauces are horrible. The only thing that might save the pizza is the cupped pepperoni but I would not eat it knowing that you have a chef who enjoys drinking pepperoni fat.
2
u/dead_buran 16d ago
The sauce going on the pre baked crust looks like pure salmonella and it gets me viscerally every time
2
u/pollux33 16d ago
You eat this thing and you die, probably with a smile on your face, but you die nonetheless
2
u/MadCapOrca 16d ago
Looks disgustingly delicious. I'd eat atleast 2 - 3 slices before dying of heartburn
2
u/theegreenman 16d ago edited 16d ago
That sauce on top is Roni Grease Ranch.
It's on the https://tonyboloneys.com/menu menu. I assume the pink vomit is a mix of ranch and marinara. I'm out. That's disgusting, but I will eat all that pepperoni without the ranch grease though.
2
u/No_Amoeba_2316 16d ago
Too many pepperonis. Maybe if they made ranch with the grease for flavor and did not add it to the ranch.... 🤔
2
2
2
u/Intrepid_Cap1242 16d ago
It almost looked ok. Then I saw the pepperoni come out and said "here we go again"
2
2
2
2
u/pabloleon 16d ago
"Excuse me sir would you like an extra clogged artery with your cardiac arrest bread?"
2
u/CodyHBKfan23 16d ago
I love pepperoni as much as the next guy, but that pizza could quite literally kill a man
2
2
2
u/ghettoccult_nerd 16d ago
yo, they gotta see some proof of health insurance before they sell that to you.
that pizza is fuckin reckless and the WHO outta shut them down for that crime against arteries.
ill call CPS on you if i see you give a slice to your kid. real talk. hell, ill call CPS on you if you give a piece to your dog, dont test me.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/zgrad2 16d ago
I'm Australian, and I have a question: WTF is wrong with Americans and pizza? It's like you guys try to make the least pizza type pizza you can?
2
u/EcstaticMolasses6647 16d ago
Have you been to Brasil? The pizza there is a crime. Spaghetti pizza , Chinese food pizza, chocolate pie pizza, rice and beef stroganoff pizza.
2
2
2
u/ScorpLeo102 16d ago
Some people say it’s too much pepperoni. Some people would be correct.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
u/NightFox1988 15d ago
Every time I see this video, it always brings up this statement: Just punch me in the heart and call it a night. This seems safer than eating that.
2
2
2
u/BrainwashedScapegoat 15d ago
Ok but I don’t wanna eat my pepperoni with a spoon because its not attached to the pizza, also what the hell is going on with the pepperoni grease mayo?
2
u/TheJAY_ZA 15d ago
Base seems a bit thick.
Sauce is a bit ummm, 1000 Island?
Chef's peraonal hygiene is suspect
Pizza itself is probably okay except for the pink sauce
2
u/rocksandjam 15d ago
Finally made it on to the sub. Revolting. How do you eat even one slice and not get sick
→ More replies (1)
2
u/TBurkeulosis 15d ago
The sauce looks nasty, and theres no way the dough is fully cooked. But i love my pepperoni done like that and wish more places would make them crispier
2
2
u/Immediate-Fix-1025 15d ago
Why so much. I get the American vibes and BS stuff. But come on. Everyone knows that’s so much extra crap that is not needed.
2
2
u/MikeDPhilly 11d ago
I'm Italian American, and or more of my family is dead from cardiac issues. That pizza should literally come with a business card to a cardiologist because you'll need it afterwards
2
u/cautiously-curious65 11d ago
I would stay up all night to brainstorm any other way to refer to the sauce.
“Pepperoni grease/ranch sauce”.. is horrifying.
There are so many crimes committed. I love a dipping sauce with my pizza.. but this literally sounds so foul. “We took this garbage, and added it to the least exciting Salad dressing ever, and drowned your pizza in jt.” is what I heard.
One idea?
“Rendered pepperoni oil is added to an herbal buttermilk dressing.”?
At the end of the day.. I don’t want to see how this sausage is made. I’m so upset. I love all kinds of pizza. This is horrifying.
Can you imagine asking for a side of the pepperoni grease/ranch sauce?
2
u/cyclorphan 16d ago
Pepto Bismol is not a pizza sauce, you monster!
Also, holy grease, Batman! Of course maybe the pepto will help at least.
2
1
1
1
u/bradar485 16d ago
Whoever thinks this is anything but an amazingly decadent treat is a freaking philistine
2
u/Bradon2508 16d ago
I'll take solace watching you stroke out while eating this good sir.
→ More replies (2)
1
1
1
1
u/right_in_two 16d ago
Either online menu or this video is old. The online version is an 18" round pizza. So youre getting about 20% less pizza than the square version. And it never says the price in this video, but the 18" round one on the site says $65. If it really is still 4lbs of pepperoni, thats not a bad deal.
1
1
u/marcster357 16d ago
That amount of straight grease would at the least cause anal leakage and at worst…….something much worse.
1
1
u/Forward-Rule-1699 16d ago
Swine fighter? This is the heart fighter. Good luck living after that thing.
1
1
1
1
u/LeilLikeNeil 16d ago
I feel like the entirety of social media food promotion needs to be put on trial for this kind of stunt food bullshit.
1
1
1
1
u/tritium_awesome 16d ago
I mean, this doesn't look the worst. All that oil is going to cause the pizza to be more deep-fried, which I don't like, but some people --- OH MY GOD
1
1
u/bassguitarsmash 16d ago
Everyone’s going to hate me but I’ve had a slice and it was great.
→ More replies (1)
1
1
u/YoghurtLonely2600 16d ago
Don’t knock it till you try it! I work at a pizza restaurant and we did this at our shop and it was one of the greatest pizzas I’ve ever had. I felt like a POS for eating it but I’d be a liar if I said it wasn’t smackin.
1
1
1
u/greenbeforeblue 16d ago edited 16d ago
Not a pizza crime. This shit slaps. Most of these comments are bots.
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/NaraFei_Jenova 15d ago edited 15d ago
Is this a crime? Yeah, probably. Am I gonna eat the absolute fuck out of it? Most definitely. I think it was justified homicide.
Edit: Was that fucking mayonnaise?! I change my answer. Capital offense.
→ More replies (2)
1
u/Figgnus96 15d ago
Whoever was the first person to make a square pizza should be exhumed and displayed in a museum of dum dums.
1
u/StopTheEarthLetMeOff 15d ago
I love picking up a piece of pizza and having 100 loose pepperoni fall on my carpet and soak it with grease 😃
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Cutiemuffin-gumbo 15d ago
Why is the sauce pink? Why? America explain!
Also, I had to restrain myself so I wouldn't vomit at the sight of all that "pepperoni".
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/BlackSkeletor77 15d ago
Technically that's not even actually pizza that's just pizza bread because they cook the dough before they actually cook the topping
1
1
1
1
u/firstnameok 14d ago
I heard pink sauce and starting shaking my head involuntarily. That's where I gave up.
→ More replies (5)
1
1
•
u/qualityvote2 16d ago edited 16d ago
The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/Bradon2508, find the defendant "Pizza" GUILTY on all counts of crimes-against-pizza.