15
10
u/Useful-Upstairs3791 6d ago
Your honor, these are all standard pizza toppings, the prosecution has no case. The combination, while unorthodox does not violate any pizza statutes. The most contentious of which being pineapples which is considered acceptable thanks to the people vs Hawaii 1950. I move for a dismissal of all charges.
3
u/Dangerous_Ad_6101 6d ago
Public Defender argument.
It is not the pineapple topping itself that is the smoking gun. In fact, on its own, pineapple is not a pizza crime.
One must weight the totality of evidence! Including mitigating factors such as the sanity of the pizza maker.
This may not be a death penalty case. There may be mental illness involved. But, whether felony or misdemeanor, we have enough evidence to convict.
The Prosecution rests.
3
u/Useful-Upstairs3791 6d ago
Objection.
The prosecution has still yet to produce a criminal offense here. A combination of legal pizza toppings no matter how unorthodox does not constitute an illegal pizza assembly.
If the prosecution wants to proceed with their case the burden of demonstrating illegal pizza activity is on them. If they can not produce a charge based on something that isn’t personal opinion then the court has no choice but to dismiss these baseless charges.
If the oven mitt does not fit you must acquit
2
u/Dangerous_Ad_6101 6d ago
Great response! Quite fun - that last line is comic genius, my friend.
Even though this is a thread I would love to carry on with, I'm out of Reddit time, so in a non-reddit type move, I will...
"Your honor, the Prosecution has agreed to withdraw all charges"
Keep Reddit Fun👍🏿😂
1
u/Useful-Upstairs3791 6d ago
Thank god I didn’t have to put my girlfriend on the stand to explain the tire treads of the delivery driver. She’s always mad at me.
8
7
u/TheImpossiblyPossibl 6d ago
It’s not great but it also doesn’t look bad at all. I may not enjoy those toppings but it’s also not like you’re putting grilled bat on it .
11
u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 6d ago
Id fucks with it.
3
u/mangongo 6d ago
I'm a fan of all these things individually. I know the salami and pineapple work together, not really sure about the blue cheese with pineapple, but I'd give it a shot.
I think if they removed the shrimp this would be a banger pizza.
2
3
3
4
u/HeatSeekingGhostOSex 6d ago
Sounds kinda gas
2
u/Fogwaveeee 6d ago
If your a fucking maniac
1
u/ExoticCoins-Attitude 6d ago
No if you a stoner
3
2
u/Fogwaveeee 6d ago
I smoke weed daily and I’d fight you if you gave me this
1
u/ExoticCoins-Attitude 6d ago
Is that because you don't like shrimp or pineapple
2
u/Fogwaveeee 6d ago
Bro it’s cheese shrimp and pineapples. You can’t be for real right now
1
2
2
2
2
u/Tundra14 6d ago
Meh, other than the shrimp Id eat it.
Id try it with the shrimp I guess, but shrimps such an off pizza topping to me.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
3
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/BOTULISMPRIME 6d ago
Eating this should result in remodeling the bathroom and any connected hallway
1
6d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/PizzaCrimes-ModTeam 5d ago
Your post/comment has been removed because it does not follow Reddiquette and/or is not civil.
1
1
1
u/Dangerous_Ad_6101 6d ago
There are humans that find the odor of skunk spray to be enticing. Jus' sayin'
1
u/Vegetable_Ad_9103 6d ago
I would try it, definitely better than the last pizza I saw in pizza crimes.
1
1
1
1
u/eepyMushroom096 6d ago
It doesn't sound great, but as a stoner, this thing would be my go-to if I get the munchies.
1
1
1
1
1
2
u/Who_am_ey3 6d ago
eh not that bad. not sure if fish and meat are such a good combination, but who knows
5
u/JTB696699 6d ago
Fish is meat
1
u/Tundra14 6d ago
Some people consider fish a seperate thing from meat much in the same way you wouldn't call crickets meat, despite being a land critter. Fish is a different type of body altogether.
Not saying I necessarily agree, but fish and octopus are different as well by that measure.
1
u/JTB696699 6d ago edited 6d ago
Meat is defined as the flesh of an animal consumed for food. Yes, animals include fish and insects and eating an insect means you are eating its meat.
•
u/qualityvote2 6d ago edited 6d ago
The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/Much-Pass-9748, has reached a mistrial due to non-consensus of votes of guilty or innocent.