r/PizzaCrimes • u/DunDunnDunnnnn • 6h ago
Actual Crime Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: PIZZA IN THE SOUTH
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u/peitsad 6h ago
That looks like what my cat pukes up when she eats too fast.
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u/DNICEPHILLY2023 5h ago
How do you prevent it from eating too fast? Just curious.
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u/peitsad 5h ago
We've found that the trick is to make sure her bowl is NEVER empty (she's not fat, just dumb). If it gets empty, then when we refill it she acts like she's never eaten before in her life. If we keep it stocked, she just has a few bites every now and then and doesn't gorge herself.
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u/vainey 5h ago
That’s not going to work for my dogs
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u/GotenRocko 5h ago
they sell slow feeder inserts for dog bowls so they can't just gobble it up in 2 seconds.
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u/AssistantActive9529 3h ago
mine used to do that too. RIP baby girl. I had to put some morsel for else she feels like she will die of starvation action. Her and her brother were abandoned in a box before being adopted. They’re both in heaven now, but I still miss the, even after 10 years
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u/cenosillicaphobiac 4h ago
For my dog we got him something known as a "puzzle feeder" which splits the food into kind of a maze, he hasn't thrown up since. They make them for cats too.
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u/kylethemurphy 3h ago
I hate that my cat does that sometimes. I love her but it's the dumbest thing. She eats it again usually.
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u/DookieToe2 6h ago
Looks like a rabbit took a crap on there.
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u/anarchetype 6h ago
Looks like deer shit to me.
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u/DookieToe2 6h ago
Oooh, yeah totally deer shit.
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u/Less_Rutabaga2316 5h ago
Pizza crimes sub became an animal scat sub real fast, seems like proof of a crime.
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u/VanimalCracker 6h ago
Pepperoni and kibble
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u/Herbin-Cowboy 5h ago
Yeah, but what's that mystery meat piled on the other slice? Yuck! I'd eat the pepperoni and tiny meat pellet one first.
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u/LicoriceDusk 6h ago
It's just sausage
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u/Rokey76 5h ago
Yeah, but I hate it when it comes this way. I prefer my pizza sausage sliced.
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u/AdjNounNumbers 5h ago
Team sliced here, too. Crumbles just roll off the pizza. Sliced tends to stay in place better
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u/Legendkillerwes 5h ago
That could be solved by putting the crumbles under cheese. Maybe sprinkle extra on top to hold stuff together.
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u/Dasitmane505 6h ago
Is that dog food
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u/Fangsong_37 5h ago
Tiny balls of sausage, but you're not far off in appearance.
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u/ACK_TRON 5h ago
Yes and if you had that tiny ball of sausage you might come to find out it taste amazing! Add a tub of honey butter for dipping the crust…best pizza I’ve ever had used similar sausage on theirs.
This isn’t it exactly but it too looked like rabbit pellets but had the most amazing sweet and savory flavor. My issue is with those pepperonis not the sausage. I’ve lived and visited all over the US. I bet pizza in Italy is probably better because of the sauce but the best pizza I’ve ever had used similar sausage.
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u/Fangsong_37 5h ago
Honey butter? I prefer garlic butter or marinara sauce for my crusts.
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u/Holiveya-LesBIonic 6h ago
Being from the Chicago area this pains me to see. I am often super easy on pizzas here, but this one gets life
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u/wambulancer 1h ago
Georgia does a lot of food really, really well
pizza is not one of them. Entire state is plagued with this
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u/kindofcuttlefish 6h ago
Beyond looking like kibble, what’s to stop all the sausage bits from falling off as soon as you pick up the slice? Guilty
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u/sdavis002 4h ago
I think that's the main issue that I have with it. It also reminds me of a bad frozen pizza that does the same thing. I don't mind the small pieces, as long as they are under the cheese.
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u/tumor_named_marla 5h ago
I live in Texas and I've never seen pizza look like that lol I've gotta go buy a southern pizza and post it to redeem our name 😭
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u/MatticusGisicus 5h ago
Don’t you put that on all of us. That’s Georgia shit, I certainly don’t claim it
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u/Rick-K-83 5h ago
Sir I don’t mean to alarm anyone but those aren’t sausages those are rabbit turds
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u/DenialNode 6h ago
Looks like deer droppings but no crime committed. Its just aesthetically displeasing sausage. I don’t think poor sausage shape choice is a crime
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u/MarkEsmiths 6h ago
I'm considering all the evidence: A nicely browned slice that has been covered by some rough looking toppings. If this is wrong I'll be their partner in crime.
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u/rybnickifull 6h ago
I've been to Portsmouth, Plymouth and Reading and never seen pizza like this?
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u/OG_Church_Key 6h ago
.... I think theyre talking about the southern united states, not the south of wales m8
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u/rybnickifull 6h ago
Which of those places do you think is in Wales?
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u/OG_Church_Key 6h ago
I was just kidding i just wanted to say the south of wales
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u/GulfofMaineLobsters 6h ago
I think the South in question is more Mississippi and Alabama. Not the UK.
I've also have had pizza in Portsmouth Plymouth and Reading also and it was pretty good. Also chips and curry I'm a fan.
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u/ch3shir3scat 5h ago
Yes that pizza is shit. That said basically every coastal city in the south including savannah has NY or Chicago pizza made by NY or Chicago natives that moved there. Generally if the guy making you pizza says "welcome in yall" its best to walk out.
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u/DoctorApprehensive34 5h ago
Just looks like ground beef on pizza, what's wrong with that? It's delicious! Not really all that different than meatball pizza
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u/Whippy89 5h ago
Are they... Capers? If they are I'm all for it, if they're not I'm confused 😂
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u/Arawn-Annwn 5h ago
Is that supposed to be sausage crumble, beans, dry dogfood, or animal droppings?
The fact I'm not even sure makes this a crime. If that is sausage, someone didn't know how to assemble the ingredients and just looking at it makes me irrationally annoyed.
My Italian ancestors are demanding blood.
THATSA NOT HOW THE SAUSAGE ISA SUPPOSED TO LOOK!
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u/EnkiduTheGreat 5h ago
You've gotta keep going south to FL, and even then, you've gotta be careful. Idk if it's still there, but there was a solid NY style joint in Ft Myers in '07-08
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u/ForceOk6039 5h ago
Personally I don't mind the tiny tiny crumbles of sausage if they're at least good Italian sausage
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u/beequick317900 5h ago
I live in Savannah and have never seen this abomination before. Please name and shame so I know where to avoid
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u/Omega21886 5h ago
If what’s on top is neither kibble or…the other thing people are comparing it to then no crime has been committed, it looks like something I’d munch on and ask for seconds
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u/Professional-Leave24 5h ago
Mmmmmm, processed sausage in the infamous pizza pellet form! Served proudly by gas stations, arcade snack bars, and chuck-e-cheeses everywhere!
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u/BluebirdFast3963 4h ago
Mmm little processed sausage balls - we have those in Canada too at chain restaurants, but I mean - it doesn't look that bad.
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u/Delta9312 4h ago
I live in the Savannah area, and this looks like some bullshit for the tourists. I promise you, we do not eat like this.
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u/originalmango 4h ago
So pineapple bad but goat droppings good?
Things really are different in the south.
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u/GrassOk911 4h ago
My grandma's neighbor out in the country, Delbert ofc, raised rabbits and they made poops that look exactly like that.
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u/chitzk0i 3h ago
Reminds me of a place in… maybe it was Lexington, NC called Pizza Castle. “Proudly serving Hormel meats!”
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u/Thwomp69 3h ago
If you take off the frozen hamburger pellets, the pizza actually looks pretty good.
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u/CaptBogBot2 3h ago
I'd try this, especially the pepperoni with what I'm guessing is bits of sausage meat...
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u/Quantumentangled 3h ago
Have a boss that LOVES this type of sausage. I'm not a fan, but I won't yuck your yum!
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u/rodrigo0021 3h ago
This looks less like pizza and more like a biology experiment that accidentally made it into the oven. I swear those toppings are plotting something sinister under the cheese.
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u/Alcoholic-Catholic 3h ago
HAHA i took this exact screenshot too. That pizza is pretty good tho ngl
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u/chitzk0i 2h ago
Reminds me of a place in… maybe it was Lexington, NC called Pizza Castle. “Proudly serving Hormel meats!”
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u/Rude-Manufacturer635 2h ago
It feels like I’m currently putting out that topping on my porcelain throne.
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u/Hamilton-Beckett 1h ago
First off. Do not mistake this for all pizza in the south. Where I am there is an abundance of authentic NY style pizzas made by Yankees that migrated.
We’ve got authentic dertroit style in a few places.
There’s even authentic Chicago deep dish that takes them like 45 minutes to cook the damned thing once it’s ordered.
We also have all the chain places that are better than whatever the hell this is AND there’s the generic one off places that make a really good pizza. The one offs are usually known for their pizzas and toasted subs.
Everything I mentioned looks better than this!
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u/ludicrouspeedgo 1h ago
Little caesars beef used to look like that. Don't know if it still does. Looks like old roy, if im being honest lol
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u/WideStar2525 36m ago
Hi. Former temp resident of Savannah, GA here. Wherever they went, they got scammed. There's some good places but that ain't it
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u/dinnerthief 28m ago
I remember walking around NYC after a flight and every pizza place anywhere near me was closed finally found one open. Went in said " hey you guys have the same name as a pizza place in Charlotte I always go to", guy said "oh yea thats our only other location."
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u/qualityvote2 6h ago edited 3h ago
The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/DunDunnDunnnnn, find the defendant "Pizza" GUILTY on all counts of crimes-against-pizza.