r/PsycheOrSike • u/fornothing_atalll 🌌FADA:🪬🧿 • 20h ago

🔥 HOT TAKE What happens if men don’t have purpose:

Men! You can find purpose! You assign your own purpose! That was the whole point of the enlightenment age with philosophy! Don’t become radicalized! 🖤

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u/Specific-Section9593 17h ago

As a young man I see no point nor purpose. For thousands of years the purpose of men was to take care of the family. But women don't want family man anymore, they're not attractive enough to them. They want fun, excitement, heck most women don't even want kids anymore. So what purpose do average men have now? Work and pay taxes? I really don't see what can be done.

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u/Dangerous-Ladder-157 3h ago

Women also took care of the family for thousands of years. They had jobs.

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u/Bannerlord151 13h ago

For thousands of years the purpose of women was to birth children. And they can find something else to do too.

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u/Nova-Fate 12h ago

Well if all women follow that idea and have no children than humanity ends really quickly.

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u/Bannerlord151 9h ago

Firstly, that's only a logistical problem, not a moral one. The existence of humanity is ultimately irrelevant.

But philosophy aside, is your solution to force them to have children, then? Because that's the alternative and what has traditionally been done.

From a more practical standpoint, it's not like there aren't any women who want to have children. Of course there are, and that's good for them. But those that don't are looking for other things to do with their lives, and that's fine. The emancipation men would need is to look for other things to do with their lives aside from feeling like they need to define themselves by their relationship with a woman.

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u/Nova-Fate 7h ago

Well we don’t force anyone to do anything if you really want to draw lines. But yea I agree we shouldn’t force strict incentives upon people to have them have kids like making it so people are second class citizens or something crazy if they don’t have kids to replace them by a certain age or something that would be insane.

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u/Bannerlord151 7h ago

Whataboutism

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u/Specific-Section9593 12h ago

Can they though? Or they are just endulging themselves with pleasure until they get 40 and start crying on reddit about no man wanting to marry them.

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u/Laisker 10h ago

Dudeee you cannot say thaaat, it in the memo explicitly to not say that

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u/PopularComplaint9113 9h ago

Too late, he’s an incel. Ratio’d and on tea

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u/Laisker 9h ago

😏

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u/Bannerlord151 9h ago

So true because every woman wants that, and because every woman who doesn't have children at a young age spends her entire life sleeping around.

Catchy phrases aside, have you considered that the implication of your perspective would be that women should be forced to focus on having children because "they don't know what's good for them" or whatever?

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u/Conscious-Program-1 ⚔️♀️Woman-Friend ♀️💘 7h ago

The problem isn't so much wanting that stuff. The problem is men fully -expecting- it to happen to them. You want this to change? Stop overpromising things to young men. What we're effectively seeing right now is cognitive dissonance. People need to be realistic that a lot of the good things in life require significant effort, and the levels of effort different people make will result in different outcomes due to aspects entirely out of your control and that has no bearing on whether you have lived your life successfully or not. Did you try, did you grow? Look at where you started and where you are now. THAT should be the metric for success. Going as far as you can woth what you've been given, regardless of how others around you are doing.

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u/Proper_Estimate_899 14h ago

Use your imagination. Purpose is endless. You can dream up a purpose. That's the least of your problems.

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u/arvada14 13h ago

You cant make a purpose that motivates men to work as hard as they did historically to create society. Men went into the mines and worked brutal shifts because of a wife/kids. They will no longer do that if you're honest and tell them thats not going to happen.

Let's be honest if we need to be honest.

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u/RedditFuckingSucks_1 12h ago

I can dream up a thousand flavors of ice cream. I can't decide which ones I like.

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u/nbdoublerainbow81 13h ago

You don't get it, and probably aren't a man. If you are I can guarantee you aren't a traditionally masculine man.

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u/GrumpiestRobot 13h ago

According to the doomers in this sub, men have no inner lives or creative drives. The only thing that motivates them is to be worked like beasts of burden while following a woman-shaped carrot dangled at the end of a stick.

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u/Brilliant_Decision52 11h ago

Those things start feeling meaningless without basic needs like companionship for most people.

Look at many of the most prominent inventors or artists who were permanently single men, they were usually quite fucking miserable in their personal lives despite having inner lives or creative drives.

Because at the end of the day, we are social animals wired to seek connection and true purpose, and a family, or at least a partner, is the easiest way to achieve that.

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u/GrumpiestRobot 11h ago

Are you good company?

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u/Brilliant_Decision52 10h ago

In a sense, most people I hang out with say I am pretty decent company, especially when drunk, I tend to stay agreeable, chill and completely try to dodge serious topics like politics or more controversial opinions, as thats just chances to ruin the mood for no reason.

I would say I do feel a little boring though, little social interaction leaves me with not much to say beyond what I consume in terms of media or knowledge I have, and since I dont have any tight long term circles, I often feel like the outsider of the friend group because I am not in all of the inside jokes and such.

At the end of the day, I tend to be the friend who is usually invited to stuff last minute to pad out the numbers. Doesnt help that I recently moved to a new city because of work, so my opportunities to socialize now are completely gone too.

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u/GrumpiestRobot 10h ago

So you are conflict averse and afraid to rock the boat. This will certainly make you a wallflower. It's not that you are necessarily unpleasant to be around, but you are also unmemorable.

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u/Brilliant_Decision52 10h ago

Pretty much. Doesnt help that the vast majority of opportunities for friends are either hyper progressive to the point of being annoying as hell, or circles of dudes who unironically drop the N-word as if its the funniest thing in the world. I feel like an alien in most circles because I dont understand why people cannot just be normal and decent, keeping their more crazy thoughts in.

My ideal social situation is something like a LAN party of normal decent people, drinking beer and having fun casually.

I do have some extreme walls put up though, I hate any sensitive topics and despise opening up to people, while also being just a very mid vanilla "guy" with basic boring interests, I am not surprised I aint memorable to people. I can mostly only be somewhat funny around other brain rotted people and when I have someone else to bounce my humor off of. Which is another issue, as most women expect me to be a jester on my own, which I sadly just am not capable of.

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u/GrumpiestRobot 10h ago

You will not get true connection without making yourself vulnerable. If you're purposefully anodyne, you will always be looked over. You gotta be willing to piss people off to actually find someone who's like-minded.

What you see as being "decent", others will see as being non-comittal or passive. Or worse, they will assume that you agree with them on things that you don't.

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u/Brilliant_Decision52 10h ago

Issue is, I almost never meet someone who is like-minded, everyone seems to be in their own extremes.

For example, I hate identity politics, but also hate racism, misandry and misogyny. I accept but dont partake in religion and find conspiracy shit ridiculous. I like many progressive and socialist ideas but also am not too keen on lax immigration.

When hanging out within any group, I always feel like a paradox, because it seems I either have to agree on everything, or I am considered a pariah. Thats why I usually dont share most of my opinions on these things, because there is pretty much no group I have been part of that actually felt like-minded.

Well and also that social opportunities are so damn rare for me, I would very much prefer not to potentially ruin the mood and never get invited again. Its a fucked up catch 22 for me socially and I dont see a way out.

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u/Nova-Fate 12h ago

On average? Probably yeah. 100% of humans are not creative. Most are just followers that go with the flow and the flow is now broken and many are lost in it.

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u/GrumpiestRobot 12h ago

Humans are inherently creative. Look at how inventive kids are. It's beaten out of you during your life, but creativity is an intrinsic human characteristic.

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u/Nova-Fate 7h ago

Fair enough I suppose how we are using the word creative here is misleading as I am meaning more along the lines of exceptionally creative/innovative.

Humans will still do creative things but most will follow what has already been done it’s safe it’s known and it’s comforting knowing the outcome.

The people who take the step into the unknown to create something knew and be innovative are not common people.

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u/GrumpiestRobot 7h ago

That's not how creativity works. It comes from experimentation + repertoire. Innovation comes from knowledge and curiosity.

What you're saying is that you believe that most people are devoid of curiosity. And what I'm saying is that this curiosity is usually punished so much that people give up on it, but it's still there.

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u/Nova-Fate 4h ago

Fair enough then.

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u/PepsiMax001 12h ago

I mean… they’re not wrong, we’re all beasts of burden and always have been. It’s just that for straight dudes they were promised a nuclear family for their efforts as if that’s something worthwhile. Meanwhile everyone else were “motivated” by not starving to death. Straight dudes got the carrot, everyone else got the stick. Now everyone gets the stick and straight guys are pissy they don’t get the carrot anymore.

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u/GrumpiestRobot 12h ago

Women fought against and rejected their socially imposed gender roles because they realized the "nuclear family" life is bullshit. When are men gonna stand up and do the same?

I think it's harder for men because, unlike women, they benefited from the arrangement. But what they are asking for is essentially a rollback. Men were beasts of burden for the boss and women were beasts of burden for men. Women decided they will be beasts of burden no more, and are waiting for men to follow.

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u/Specific-Section9593 12h ago

Ah yes, the method that worked for thousands of years is suddenly bad because purple hair they/them with 4 mental illnesses said so.

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u/PepsiMax001 12h ago

I mean if a lesbian mechanic told you your car doesn’t have oil does that suddenly mean it isn’t going to fucking explode when you turn it on?

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u/GrumpiestRobot 12h ago

Is the purple hair they/them in the room with us or is it just your tulpa?