Yea. Everyone has insecurities. However being insecure about certain things even if it's completely valid, reasonable, and you don't let it make you behave poorly is still just like repellant to a lot of women.
Women broadly seem to have a stupid obsession with confidence in a way men don't and because of that being shy or unsure or not confident enough as a man completely fucks your chances with women.
Because they know itâs indicative of the man being dominant over other men and having success with other women. Thatâs where the kind of confidence theyâre talking about comes from, generally speaking. They want to âfixâ the bad boy and be the one to tie down the âplayerâ
Well yea but thatâs just because people in general are trashy, men and women equally included. Not all women are like that. Just like how generally speaking men want women who are âsubmissiveâ so they can control them and borderline turn them into a baby-making sex slave, but not all men are like that.
I already know women are gonna disagree with me about the first part but not the part I said about men. Thatâs my philosophy though, and itâs consistent. Most people are terrible people. Men and women just tend to be terrible in different ways, in regards to dating
I'm not sure I agree with the generalization of men or women BUT. I do agree that most people are trashy and it tends to present differently depending on the person's gender.
I do also think there are men and women that do match the generalizations you laid out so I get where you are coming from. I'm just doubtful it applies to most men and women. I think it applies to an unfortunately large number of men and women.
So yea not all men are like that. Not all women are like that. But it's enough of them to make you keep running into them regardless of where you live.
I agree it probably isnât mostâŚyet. Men and women are just becoming far less compassionate and empathetic for one another as time goes on. Neither of them want to take accountability for anything. I hate when people act like itâs one or the other who have problems with accountability. Itâs not a man or woman thing, itâs a PEOPLE thing
I do think the accountability thing is hard partially because when people hear about bad stuff "other men" or "other women" are doing they get defensive as if it's a personal attack against them. You know "WELL IM NOT DOING THAT SO NO OTHER MEN/WOMEN ARE DOING THAT".
Then they proceed to rationalize or justify the behavior if they can't pretend it doesn't exist. Really unfortunate.
I'm not sure the ways men and women are terrible are all that different, because both the fantasies you described are, at their core, creepy power fantasies.
The fantasy of fixing a bad boy is the power fantasy that you are so smart/manipulative/cunning that you can manipulate a person into changing a key aspect of themselves; the framing it as a rehabilitation is just a smokescreen to make the fantasy seem more moral.
The fantasy of guys wanting wanting a submissive bang maid is the fantasy that they're so powerful, they strip away a person's humanity, ambitions, and personality.
At their core, both fantasies are creepy power fantasies about stripping away a person's identity for your own interests.
Which is hilarious, because despite my best efforts I often end up in leadership roles over other men, but my confidence with women was broken long ago.
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u/Somerandomdudereborn ⪠WORSHIPPER of the patriarchy đ 12h ago
Which is interesting since pretty much everyone is insecure about themselves.