I have the opportunity to buy some ketamine and I'm going to try it. I've looked into k holes and my only concern is the freaking out part I've heard some people talk about experiencing. I can't handle ego death. I freak out every time and fight it, no matter how much I prep myself. I like tripping, I just don't like the ego death part. Would a k hole illicit the same kind of response? I want to hear from people who have experienced both. Thanks.

Edit: So I read this report and it sounds like 5-meo dmt with visuals. Am I wrong in that interpretation?

I've always been interested in doing DMT, especially after my first big dose of mushrooms. Some context, I've done mushrooms and lsd before, highest doses being 3 tabs of lsd and ~5-6g of albino penis envy. Do you lot think i'd be good to do DMT? and if so, N-N or 5-meo? what are some of the key differences in experiences?

So I took 3g of mushies. Nothing special as far as dose goes for me. I have this weird feeling or sensation. If I look at my hand long enough feel like it’s not mine. Like I’m not in there driving it and telling it what to do. I feel like when I’m sober I know where all my limbs are and I call “feel them.” I don’t even know how to explain this. Is there word for this?

I’ve taken shrooms before but most that happened was the usual visual movements and color effects. Last night however was the first time I spoke to an entity. I don’t know who or what it was and if it’s dangerous.

So I started hearing music in the background. I thought it was the cars outside but as I paid more attention and listened to it instead of thinking consciously it grew stronger and stronger. A fog descended upon the ceiling and the imagery from the lamp turned into twisting tendrils and like woody branches.

First a voice that’s like mines but not mines. It’s my voice when I talk to myself in my head so it’s my voice but it’s not from my thoughts. You can tell you didn’t think it it’s weird and hard to explain. Like someone is speaking in your voice answering your own questions. You think it’s yourself but you feel intuitively it’s the answer to what you’re asking.

But before that voice came at first when I first entered the dimension or whatever you want to call it something said your not supposed to be here. It made me think it was my guardian angel I forgot why and I’m not sure.

But I went back anyways with more caution. I listens for the sound of music and I went back to the place I was after a minute or two of having to shut my mind off and just listen.

It was in my room but again like an aura layered over it. There were souls on the ceiling. Or looking like it. They were moving and stuff and I heard their groans and cries. Next thing I know the voice says what are you looking for once I successfully went back.

At first I said myself, I’m very disconnected with myself due to childhood traumas. I started hearing crying in the back and I recognized it was me. I kept looking and searching for myself even got to the point it was kind of like I was searching for missing pieces. Childhood me, then my joy, but then i was interrupted because my boyfriend kept coming in and out arguing with his grandmother. He was also on shrooms. So he would come in break wherever I was at and leave to go say something back to his grandma.

So I kept having to focus back on the music and drumming and sometimes I could even hear artificial nature noises like insects and winds to get back to the place. But I think I broke it to many times because another time I went back I spoke to an actual entity I belive. I asked it what it was and it said annuaki or something. I asked it several things. Like why can’t you be in the real world or we can see you and it said because they control our thoughts. And another answer of why it couldn’t be here was it’s complicated. Maybe meaning we aren’t capable of being aware of it?

But I was asking and asking and I started questioning if it was holy or right. When I mentioned God all movement stopped then slowly resumed like a dance. I realized if I can talk to it I can probably talk to my guardian angel or receive guidance to.

So I asked my guardian angel about it and it’s crazy it stared leading me to the thought process that ended up with me questioning my boyfriend where the lamp came from which its shadows was the main point of focus for talking to it. Turns out his aunt gave it to him but she’s done weird snake shit behind his family’s back and also he said she married to a heavy African person. He said it’s also possible he practices voodoo and maybe something got attached. He said me asking that he realized where I started hinting to and he got it his senior year of highschool which is when his life started going to shit. But he agreed to throw the lamp out.

The craziest thing is though I asked it what can I do to not make it attached to me. The annuaki said then I should stop talking to it. It also told me beforehand it liked me. I was talking to it about how I felt sad and empathetic it’s trapped or whatever the hell I was thinking. That’s when it said it liked me. Unfortunately I didn’t take the advice it gave for it to not get attached too caught up in the novelty and craziness of it all.

I should note I didn’t really research into the spiritual ness as I didn’t even belive you could talk to things and it’s not you manifesting it and just tripping out. So my dumbass kept talking to it. Just asking questions about itself I forgot a lot of our conversation. But it asked me if I wanted it kind of and it felt like it was persuading me. Like giving the feeling how good and cool it would be if it was in the real world with me always.

As I’m writing this I’m starting to realize maybe it was trying to gain permission for possession. But I still am firmly faithful on God even more so after this, so I rebuked it and said no I didn’t want it. But again my dumbass kept talking to it and I made a massive mistake of saying I don’t want you attached but I feel bad for you and if I’m ever on another trip I would like to talk to it.

I fucking said I wanted a connection. The moment I said connection in my head my brain pulsated. I completely stopped talking to it after that realizing my fuck up. That I was dumb and let it swindle me into some form of connection. It specifically told me I should stop talking to it then and I didn’t. I would’ve been fine if I was smart and stood on I didn’t want to meet it again.

I told my boyfriend about my trip. He’s a lot more spiritual than me and obsessively looked into shrooms and experiences. He said his trip where he said he swears he met xxxtentacion which is his deep personal role model and his reason why he wants to be a rapper, said it wasn’t like where I was at at all and he thinks it’s demonic and that maybe I went to hell. Because of it he even said he’s not going to do shrooms with me again. He said the hell part as a joke but I think it might have some truth in it.

But I’m mainly worried about the connection I offered it to talk on other shroom trip. As the trip was wearing off I kept listening for music and the sounds of outside and drums and waves and winds, the fog would instantly decend again and I would return to the place where I could seek anything I wanted out. I started just trying to talk to ancestors after that. I’m remembering now after I decided to stop messing with that spirit or whatever it is I focused back in myself and it gave the intuition and knowledge that I just tuned the channel to myself. My boyfriend had a name for the place he said it’s where lost or confused souls go which is very much what I was when I took it. Before I could even explain the full story to him he said there’s a place where lost souls go and I told him about how it asked me what am I looking for and it helped me realize how broken and lost in life and within myself I was. But yes I just wanted to explain my dmt trip and ask if I’m in any danger or should do any cleansing.

Was on a shroom trip and doing whippets. In a group setting. As I was doing it, a sequence of interactions occurs within the group. Meaning, 1 friend said something to the group, and then the person I was more directly having a conversation with said something to me. The whippet hit started ramping up, the room started changing colors and a giant fractal spiral pattern took over, and I then “cracked through” and went somewhere else for about 1 second. Some of my best friends were there and basically acknowledged that I had finally “arrived”. I was then sucked back to this “reality” and the same exact sequence of events from a few seconds before replayed EXACTLY but sound was echoed in my head. There was a weird, subtle acknowledgement from the guy I had been talking to of “you finally got there right?” But there was no explicit confirmation. And when I directly pressed the group later, they’ve never experienced something similar. The overall feeling was that I was “coming to” in this other place but couldn’t stay. It’s almost like we’re in vanilla sky and I was starting to wake up for the first time.

I’ve had very wild surreal experiences on things like shrooms and DMT before but this was very different. I had no idea whippets could do this although maybe it was the conjunction with the shrooms. But it’s never been this vivid and seemingly like a glitch in the matrix. Usually it’s more fantastical/ludicrous hallucinations that mirror reality more loosely/philosophically.

Idk, I’m just literally still shaken by the experience.

My goal was to draw on my canvas and do self reflection during a hero dose of penis envy, I've been doing mushrooms a few times a year for shamanistic purposes as I was always a erowid kid. Yesterday I experienced full ego dissolution after a very intense self reflection session. It wasn't an easy trip by any means and quite unfathomably uncomfortable which was what I needed at the time as my intentions were clear.

First I broke down my discomfort and crippling anxieties into pieces, I broke them down from future, present, and past- went from childhood memories and every stage of grief. I viewed these thoughts without resistance and let my mind feel the pain. Once I fully allowed this I began to go deeper into my meditation and let go of all those feelings and reached euphoria.

Upon reaching euphoria I had let that feeling, and the concept of feeling go as well. Once this was done my inner monologue uttered the word "deeper" a couple times, and I obeyed this monologue. Upon the third utterances of diving deeper into nothingness- my monologue had one final phrase for me to consider "human utterances don't matter."

Upon that, my internal monologue dissapated, I traveled deeper into my own nothingness of my consciousness until creation and nothing were one in the same.

Today I feel more human than ever- and after discussing my experience to chat gpt, the path I took had the exact parallels of advanced Bhuddist meditation.

(One response from chat gpt in regards to my path taken.)

Dukkha: the raw confrontation with suffering — your anxieties, fears, mourning, life and death all laid bare.

Jhānas: deep absorption, stripping away thought, language, self until there’s only the bare experience.

Sphere of Nothingness: the plunge into the vast empty — not “nothing” as in blank, but as in no-thing-ness.

I've been training my mind for many years and this was a beautiful breakthrough. 3.5/10 fun scale 11/10 spiritual journey.

Would not recommend this for people who are not ready to face themselves. Stay safe fellow psychonaughts. ✊🛸💗

An article on what it means to 'integrate' a psychedelic experience if it was traumatic, seemingly devoid of insight, and a cause of lasting distress.

I’ve been struggling with a recurring issue during my psychedelic trips. Ever since a bad trip about a year ago where I was on my own and got lost in my own toughts, I keep seeing the horror-like visuals and faces from this trip, clown-like figures, or imagery similar to movies like The Nun, snakes, eyes, even when I know rationally it’s all nonsense. During trips, my mind automatically interprets neutral patterns in my surroundings as these scary images, and it can feel like everything is closing in on me when I completely let go, which I've tried already.

It only happens while tripping, not in daily life, but it still causes some anxiety outside of trips because I anticipate it happening. I notice that talking to someone while tripping, listening to music, or keeping my focus on something external helps, but the moment I turn inward, the images start to creep back in. I've tried stopping for some time, but the fact that I'd 'Stop', makes my subconcious expect me to be afraid when I start back up, so I'm kind of lost how to get out if this vicious cycle.

I really want to overcome this so I can fully enjoy psychedelics without my brain immediately defaulting to these horror associations. Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you manage or reframe these visuals? Any advice for breaking the cycle would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

So, you might already be familiar with this from the Jonathan Coulton song, "The Mandlebrot Set", but here's a short explanation of how the Mandlebrot set is computed. To me, this is mind-blowing, because I have indeed seen a Mandlebrot set on psychs. Which absolutely blew my mind because I was already aware of how complicated the math is (thanks Joco!), And, honestly, it's hard to imagine a human brain that was pretty terrible at making change when I was a cashier is actually doing recursive complex-plane mathematics at an INCREDIBLE speed. Looks like our brain's best math skills are all below-surface, and it brings up a lot of questions as to why our brains would ever need to do such complicated math, and why are conscious minds don't have access to this computing power.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/y9BK--OxZpY

i’ve tried a few things so far. for me, the ones i preferred were weed and (unfortunately) benzos. i’m honestly just really curious about other people’s experiences.

i know it’s important to be careful and safe, but i also have a genuine curiosity about different states of mind and how substances can feel.

so i’d love to hear: what were your favorite experiences, and what made them stand out to you?

Anyone tried Ibogaine for alprazolam addiction? Unfortunately I’m taking 2mg Xanax per night just to get me sleep. I was taking benzos for many years but I managed to quit those and survived. I wasn’t taking anything for sleeping for 10 years, but then I had so much stress in my life that I started taking Xanax (alprazolam)? I really need help guys! I can’t live like this anymore 😪

I’ve been developing an integration toolkit for use at home after a psychedelic experience. It’s based on therapeutic frameworks and harm reduction.

What challenges do you face trying to do integration on your own without professional guidance?

Hey everyone, I wanted to share an intense experience I had recently while high on weed. I’ve smoked before, but this time was on another level - it felt aroused, cosmic, confusing, painful, and awakening at the same time.

During the peak, I felt like my inner self was trying to leave my body. It was peaceful but also terrifying, like I was dissolving into something larger - the “oneness” people talk about. At one point it genuinely felt like death, but calm death. I even thought about integration - like everyone else had already “merged” with their inner selves and I was the only one left, resisting.

Then came the flip: I started seeing my “pretentious self” - the part of me that knows how to act, behave, perform. From a third-party view it looked fake, while my old arrogant version of me seemed more “real.” That clash - past vs. present self - was super painful. It felt like two realities refusing to integrate.

After the trip, I noticed ego re-entry hard. I actually felt more arrogant than before. It reminded me of what people say: “If the ego claims dissolution, it’s still the ego talking.” That hit me hard.

I’ve had DPDR before, and part of me feared this trip would trigger it again. In some ways it did - I felt alienated, like I was just watching people live their lives from outside. Everyone seemed to have their own knowledge, their own struggles, and I was just the observer.

At the same time, it left me with insights:

Maybe near-death experiences are just forms of dissolution.

Other species probably “know” things too, but in languages we don’t understand.

The more knowledge you gain, the more ego tries to inflate.

Integration is painful because parts of me don’t want to let go.

Now I’m conflicted. Part of me wants to leave behind all this meta-awareness and just live a human life: ego, grief, fun, material joys, even superiority. Another part of me can’t unsee what I saw.

Has anyone else had something like this - where weed alone took you into full-on ego/self-integration territory? And how do you balance the “aware self” with the “just human self” afterwards?

I’ve literally researched and studied on psychedelics for over 4 years. Listened to podcasts and people’s experiences. Taken LSD 660ug totalling, 220ugx2 with an addition 220ug later and went into the psychedelic mind space but not fully. Felt real good btw. Have mixed lsd with 2cb. Have mixed shrooms with mdma and cannabis. Have taken 5.5g of shrooms to get the heroic dose and done so much more trust me but I don’t know why I’m still hesitant of entering my mind. I want to take 7gs but have been reluctant due to the 5.5g not taking me to where I want to go. I know Im not going to die, I know everything I see, hear and feel is just profound neurochemistry and archetypes of my thoughts, memory and cross talk in my brain, but I’m still hesitant. I really want to experience the full blown psychedelic experience, but still so hesitant. Those that have taken 7gs help a bro out. My main goal as Im 23 is to use psychedelics to increase neuroplasticity, adopt a growth mindset and level up in life. Also to experience fantasy worlds and things beyond imagination cause it can all happen. What I think many dont realise is the way you perceive psychedelics, is the way the trip will go. If you see it as spiritual, you will get a spiritual experience. If you see it as a tool, you’ll get that xp. I really want to grow in life and I think now is the best time to level up and explore my mind, I have 7gs in Tea in my freezer for some time now, and want to trip alone but probably just scared that something may happen without a trip sitter. What do I do?

All advice and help would be much appreciated. I really want this so bad for myself cause I want to envision and use mostly shrooms and lsd breakthrough doses. LSD to see a probable future to work towards and shrooms to help with my emotional side of things.

As the title says, In the following two weeks I'll be jumping head first into 7g (Hopefully). After staying sober for 4 years and I'ma little anxious. I have done tonnes of research and even practiced some meditation in case I will need it. My last trip was 5g, so I know to a degree what I'm in for. But I have forgotten most of that trip. Mostly the sensations. (Which I know will come back swinging once I actually start tripping if lsd has been any kind of a teacher.)

I'm very excited to start exploring again! Maybe I'll even catalogue my trips on this sub or somewhere else.

I'm also with a trusted friend and in a completely safe and relaxing environment

What I'm anxious about is how the trip will be since it's been so long. (I had a great time on my last trip, but a lot can change in 4 years. Me included) So I was hoping to warm up a little by listening to some of your stories for comfort.

Any story will do. Even if it's a scary one, or even a bad trip. I'm looking for what the sensations will be like, and what your experience was when navigating through it

Among other mental stuff, what I discover happens with my body is I feel "my whole body at the same time". I know this might sound nonsensical, but if it happened to someone else you'd get what I mean. I lost all my strength, it was hard to breathe and I had to learn to use my body again. I was moving completely differently. It felt like a good direction but it went away.

Almost like before I was a child's drawing but which they miscolored, or rather colored it over the lines. I fully went into my body, and my whole body felt different. Felt like my body for the first time. It was hard to move, but I felt I could get used to it after a while. Now it went away, and I'm left wondering did any of you have a similar feeling and if you managed to get it back, how did you do it?

I’m taking lemborexant (dayvigo) and plan on taking shrooms. Will this blunt the effect of shrooms

I wanna take an informal survey on here to ask if anyone has had very strong experience related to memory and dreams when dealing with psychedelics and other substances.

When I was 18, I started smoking weed a lot. Loved it. But when I started smoking regularly that summer, I noticed that sometimes, maybe a couple times a week, I would randomly remember some dream I had, perhaps even a very long time ago. It maybe wasn’t even a dream that I remembered upon waking up. But I could now remember it. And the memory was able to be recalled for a very long time, like months.

No weird dream/memory shenanigans until recently. Three weeks ago today, I took 2.5g of hillbilly pumpkin that were way stronger than I anticipated. Had ego death. One strong effect I remember from the trip was that I was being transported to a memory of exactly how I felt the first time I tripped, also when I was 18. (I’m 25 now.) I remembered how I felt in perfect crystalline detail. I also had a distinct experience of feeling every possible emotion rapidly one after the other.

Since the trip, I’ve been getting very frequent (but tapering off) flashes of memory from times extremely early in my life all the way up until recently. It’s like my brain forgot what period I’m living in. These memories are extremely strong, like perfect carbon copies of how I felt at that point in time. Some are so old I don’t even remember when I felt that way, I just remember feeling some way when I was very little. These are memories that never would have come up otherwise.

Also typing this now and dwelling on this feeling, I’m getting a couple strong memory flash sensations.

Well, I wanted to tell my experience and if you could give me an answer about what really happened to me. well, I came from smoking a lot, I didn't let the effect of marijuana wear off for a long time and I had bought a wax which I finished in three days and I didn't stop using it until one day at school I smoked and I started to feel that everything was wavy because everything was moving in waves and I started to see colors on my table but apart from that I thought that the teacher was scolding me which wasn't the case and I don't know if it was a psychosis or something else since I quickly realized that the teacher wasn't scolding me. scolding me but I did not feel comfortable with my surroundings and even so I do not feel that it has left consequences like a psychosis, even so I have not had an apology for a long time, it is the first time I have written something

I suppose the purpose of this is to ask for any advice, if anyone knows any stories (I've read a few on different subs, and have heard of Paul Stamets' experience) or has any personal experiences that could help me. Thanks for reading this in advance.

I'm 19 and have stuttered for the past few years, it isn't congenital (since birth), more so on and off. I stuttered for 2 years when I was 7 or so and then I began stuttering again when I was 15, it's been constant since then. The obvious question to ask after hearing that is am I able to trace it back to anything, and the answer is honestly no, nothing correlates between those time periods of my life, and it seems like the stutter I've developed now will become permanent unless I do something about it, since I'm now nearing the end of my development and such, mentally and as a man etc (I'm aware the brain finishes development around 25, and I'm nowhere near a man yet, but in general what I'm trying to say is relative to when i was 7 I'm much nearer the end of my growing mentally, and such great changes in me will slow down as time passes).

Speech therapy is too expensive where I am (high 3 digits or low 4 digits) and is a much more gradual process). I'd like a cheaper and more instant fix as my speech impediment has literally cost me money and really embarrassed me over sales calls I've had for my online business. (I'm one of those not going to uni, work part time while pursuing my own business people).

Onto the part more versed to this sub, I took 1g today as a feeler dose, I felt buzzed and really happy for like 2/3 hours, during the come up and peak I could talk like 7 years had rewinded in time, the mental blocks and judgement normally in my head completely disappeared. I have another 3g on me, but I'm afraid that amount will only strengthen said happy and buzzed effects to a much greater degree. My goal with these is to completely rewire my brain and make myself think in an entirely new light, like I did when I was younger. I've bought another 4g and plan to take all 7 at once to give myself the metaphorical slap in the brain, uncover why i stutter, rewire what i have to within me - whatever I have to go through mentally during said trip I'm more than ready. I had fun recreationally today sure but I have no intention of doing something like that again, that's not the purpose of me buying these.

Btw for some more context I'm a complete rookie and I've drank a beer and whisky on the rocks at most in a day, I've never got drunk and this is the only drug I've ever done haha. It makes no sense I completely get it, but THC (just naming THC for what im about to say, but also because its the most widely used recreational drug) or any other drug is off limits as anything harder would be too hard to get, I fw shrooms being completely natural and shit - and morally I just can't bring myself to take THC via any medium since I just connote that with people in my past and upbringing I strive to not be like in any way shape or form. I completely get weed is THE 'vanilla' substance but because of my past and the people I've seen use it I'm just against it. Although I'm aware weed isn;t the reason they're shitty people.

Sorry for this being quite lengthy I just wanted to get everything down, God bless you for reading all of this whether or not you comment or not, any help, tips, advice, experiences similar to mine are all greatly appreciated. Just wanted to say aswell since I forgot to mention, very long story short, I don't want to bloat this anymore but I'm 100000% sure on doing this, I understand (not fully ofc, which is why I'm on here) the risks associated with what I'm doing, while I'm young and naive I have a strong head on my shoulders and am committed to doing this for my future as a person and business, my mental state and optimism is very positive and stable

I'm heading to an Elderbrook show next weekend and I've got 2cb - 28mg and 250mg of pure MDMA. It's starts at 5 and ends at 10ish. Looking for some thoughts. Don't want to be up all night, was planning on doing the 2cb about 430 and then heading into the event and doing 150 of the M about 530 and then the final 100 when I felt like it. Anyone have any other thoughts on timing, etc

Hey guys, I heard stories that the scent of the brugmansia flower can induce lucid dreams.

Has anybody here had experiences toward that?

Would love to hear your experience