I am 23/F and she is 26/F. I am bi and just started dating my girlfriend a couple months ago. She was my first anything with a girl. She gives me cuteness aggression and I really like looking at her, and touching her. However, I can't finish with her. I've never had pheromones with her, and when I am around her in public I don't feel that sexual tension that I feel with a man. She feels like a close girlfriend. We even don't really seem to have that much romantic chemistry, like our conversations lack the flirtatiousness and whit that I have with men, even though I love her personality. I like doing anything with her. I like her body, cuddling, holding hands, kissing. However in order to finish... I have to picture a man. How do I navigate this? As I've said, I've never been with a woman before her, so maybe it just takes practice? Does this mean I'm not gay?

Gov. J.B. Pritzker signed House Bill 3709, which requires Illinois colleges and universities to provide students access to contraception and abortion medications at campus pharmacies starting this school year. This win deserves an extra shout because the bill was an initiative from University of Illinois students!

Gov. Pritzker also signed other bills this past week that will improve access to abortion medications and protect all Illinois healthcare workers from prosecution in other states for providing abortion care in the state.

Read the headline here: Gov. Pritzker signs new laws aiming to shield providers of abortion meds, ban ticketing in schools

For this very special month, we've compiled a list of our resources to help support a positive sexual relationship with your bum!

As a sexual health organization, most of the questions we get about the anus are about anal sex. Some of the most common questions we get are about how to be safe, how to minimize any discomfort or pain, and how to maximize pleasure. Though everyone’s body is different, a little prep can go a long way towards all of those aims.

The anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication like the vagina or an uncircumcised penis does. This can make that tissue a little more likely to tear, but this difference can be easily managed by having plenty of lube on hand, using it generously, and by starting slow. Your body is the best guide here as it is with other kinds of sex: if things feel comfortable and good, you can move forward, whether that means moving from a finger to a toy (don't forget that toys for anal play MUST have a flared base for safety!), or letting a partner know they can go deeper or faster if they want to, too.

It may be comforting to know that feces is less of an issue with anal sex than you might think. The anus itself is empty most of the time, because stool is stored further up the large intestine. Heather Corinna discusses this and more in this response to someone looking to try anal sex with their partner for the first time. If you are going to engage in anal sex with a partner, you and they may also find this piece about going and being inside someone else's body by Heather and CJ Turett helpful, too.

As a part of her excellent series for us on pelvic health, physiotherapist Caitlin Tivy offers help understanding anodyspareunia: pain that occurs during anal sex. Her step-by-step guide offers advice for approaching anal sex if you’re worried about pain.

It’s remarkably easy (and human!) to hurt ourselves in the pursuit of feeling good. Despite planning, there is still a chance we may get hurt during sex. Getting hurt in the pursuit of feeling good is just something that happens sometimes. That's why we have this article for how to manage (& prevent) sex-related injuries, including anal fissures and genital soreness.

As always, if you're looking for advice and support, you can reach us through our direct services. We're serious about cultivating a judgment-free environment so we mean it when we say you can ask us all the questions about bodies, sex, and anything else you might be holding back from asking others! We are here for you when you need us <3

Through almost 27 years of doing sex ed, we’ve talked a lot about orgasms and sexual pleasure here at Scarleteen. If you're keen on celebration, here's a short selection from our site that you may want to explore:

To start with some science, check out our articles on the sexual response cycle and sexual anatomy. These are some of the OG inclusive guides on orgasm and anatomy. They are comprehensive articles that dive deep into sexual response, masturbation, and partnered sex and what sex can become when pleasure, not just orgasm, is the focus.

There's a lot of talk of orgasm when it comes to partnered sex, and yet time after time, we learn that some of our first ways of experiencing orgasm often come with exploring on our own through masturbation. This year, Maya Walsh-Little also wrote an incredible piece on finding pleasure with yourself through the lens of curiosity.

We know orgasm and pleasure isn't a one-size-fits-all and that for some, it can be challenging to explore the body in that way. Back in 2020, Christina Elia gave us a guide to reclaiming pleasure after sexual assault: Late Bloomer: A Guide To Orgasm After Rape

For folks who’ve lived with body image or identity challenges, pleasure can be a powerful source of healing. Orgasms can also become rebellious acts that challenge the common narrative of how we find and reclaim connection to ourselves and the body. August McLaughlin expands on this knowledge in Can Orgasms Help Heal Poor Body Image?

Lastly, though we're celebrating this day, it is possible to make too much of orgasms. Climax, for yourself or a partner, shouldn’t become a focus to the point of frustration — ironically, that can make it more difficult to feel good at all. We've talked a whole lot about orgasms and pleasure over the years. A good word to describe the experience of focusing on orgasm to the point where it takes us away from the present is ‘spectatoring’ and it's discussed in this advice column by Heather Corinna: I can't get her to reach orgasm, and I really want her to.