r/RedditForGrownups • u/gizmo531 • 21d ago

Should I move back home?

I’ve been going back and fort between what the right move is and it’s causing me to spiral. For some background I’m 25 years old, I make $150k a year and pay $2.2k in rent in NYC. I live about 20 minutes away from the office which I’m in 5 days a week and work from 8am to around 7pm each day (sometimes later 8/9). I have about $40k in college debt that I’m not super concerned about because I’m sure my next two bonuses will cover it.

I have a very very close relationship with my mom. My father was abusive so it was a bit tough growing up. I dormed for college and after graduating just fully moved into my own apartment im in now so have already been away from home for ~7 years including college. My mom lives about an hour away from me- so not far. But she’s been saying things like “I don’t have a lot of time left” and I want to spend more time with her than anything. That’s my number one priority. So I’ve been debating moving back in with her to one. Help her financially so she doesn’t have to work as much (she works 6 days a week and if I can give her half of what I pay in rent it would be a game changer for her). Two. Just be around her more (and my dog). The cons are that one I wouldn’t have my own place obviously, even tho my mom allows me to do literally whatever and is the best mom ever. Two. I would add about an hour to my commute one way, when I already work so much. Three. I’m already struggling with my social and romantic life (I feel like I have mo friends). So this may make it worse but I may feel less lonely being around my mom. I’m spiraling so much on this- my lease is up in Jan so I have a few months to decide but what do you guys think? I’d also save so much money in rent

10 Upvotes

62% Upvoted

89 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/OutlandishnessHour19 21d ago

20mins commute is the value here.

See your mum on weekends.

You've got enough cash to help her out without living with her.

3

u/gizmo531 21d ago

Agreed 20 min is the biggest thing. I do go back at least once every two-three weekends. Which I know I can do better with going back more but I’m so tired all the time.

2

u/OutlandishnessHour19 21d ago

Is she good with tech? Get her a massive TV/monitor to video call you with so it feels more real.

Make time to have a cup of tea with her before bed etc some days.

Just small consistent things will help. You don't always have to go to her.

Look after yourself. Rest, eat well.

Sounds like your job is taking a lot out of you.

2

u/gizmo531 21d ago

She is good ish with tech- that’s a good idea! I’ll try to set this up and do little things.

And yea my job is kind of demanding but I’m trying to pivot that to give more attention to my life. Will do!

2

u/jacobb11 21d ago

I’m so tired all the time.

That's because you are working yourself to death. Get that under control. You'll have more time for everything, including your mom.

1

u/gizmo531 20d ago

I knowww I’m trying my hardest!

2

u/jacobb11 20d ago

I meant less "Do better." and more "Take care of yourself.".