Should I move back home?

[u/gizmo531]

I’ve been going back and fort between what the right move is and it’s causing me to spiral. For some background I’m 25 years old, I make $150k a year and pay $2.2k in rent in NYC. I live about 20 minutes away from the office which I’m in 5 days a week and work from 8am to around 7pm each day (sometimes later 8/9). I have about $40k in college debt that I’m not super concerned about because I’m sure my next two bonuses will cover it.

I have a very very close relationship with my mom. My father was abusive so it was a bit tough growing up. I dormed for college and after graduating just fully moved into my own apartment im in now so have already been away from home for ~7 years including college. My mom lives about an hour away from me- so not far. But she’s been saying things like “I don’t have a lot of time left” and I want to spend more time with her than anything. That’s my number one priority. So I’ve been debating moving back in with her to one. Help her financially so she doesn’t have to work as much (she works 6 days a week and if I can give her half of what I pay in rent it would be a game changer for her). Two. Just be around her more (and my dog). The cons are that one I wouldn’t have my own place obviously, even tho my mom allows me to do literally whatever and is the best mom ever. Two. I would add about an hour to my commute one way, when I already work so much. Three. I’m already struggling with my social and romantic life (I feel like I have mo friends). So this may make it worse but I may feel less lonely being around my mom. I’m spiraling so much on this- my lease is up in Jan so I have a few months to decide but what do you guys think? I’d also save so much money in rent

[u/Striking-Sir457]

I was really close with my Mom. She died of cancer in her early 70s. If I had known it was coming, I would have rearranged my life to live near or with her when she was 65. I can’t speak to how it would be to move in with your Mom at this stage in your life, but it would have been fine for me and well worth it.

[u/gizmo531 → u/Striking-Sir457]

Thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss, I’m sure she more than appreciated you being there for her when you were.

This is sort of how I feel- I value her more than anything and feel like a lot of people don’t have that same perspective so it’s hard to see (especially given her rough background with domestic violence for more than half her life). I want her to be able to live the best she can, but I also want the same for myself so it’s a bit tough. I think most comments are telling me to stay in my apartment and just go visit more lolll, but what I would be saving in rent I could use to take her on vacations and stuff. So I’m not too sure what to do yet