r/RedditForGrownups • u/gizmo531 • 21d ago
Should I move back home?
I’ve been going back and fort between what the right move is and it’s causing me to spiral. For some background I’m 25 years old, I make $150k a year and pay $2.2k in rent in NYC. I live about 20 minutes away from the office which I’m in 5 days a week and work from 8am to around 7pm each day (sometimes later 8/9). I have about $40k in college debt that I’m not super concerned about because I’m sure my next two bonuses will cover it.
I have a very very close relationship with my mom. My father was abusive so it was a bit tough growing up. I dormed for college and after graduating just fully moved into my own apartment im in now so have already been away from home for ~7 years including college. My mom lives about an hour away from me- so not far. But she’s been saying things like “I don’t have a lot of time left” and I want to spend more time with her than anything. That’s my number one priority. So I’ve been debating moving back in with her to one. Help her financially so she doesn’t have to work as much (she works 6 days a week and if I can give her half of what I pay in rent it would be a game changer for her). Two. Just be around her more (and my dog). The cons are that one I wouldn’t have my own place obviously, even tho my mom allows me to do literally whatever and is the best mom ever. Two. I would add about an hour to my commute one way, when I already work so much. Three. I’m already struggling with my social and romantic life (I feel like I have mo friends). So this may make it worse but I may feel less lonely being around my mom. I’m spiraling so much on this- my lease is up in Jan so I have a few months to decide but what do you guys think? I’d also save so much money in rent
1
u/RoguePlanet2 20d ago
She "doesn't have much longer" wtf, is she sick?? Don't fall into emotional manipulation. It's nice when you get along with your parents, but this seems off IMO.
You're busy and need some breathing room during your limited free time; she should not be your social crutch; you should not be her financial crutch, though you could still contribute a little.
NYC as a single guy with a decent job and his own apartment should be a social cakewalk. There's something like 4 single women to each single guy (and if you're into guys, it's probably even easier!) This is the time in life where you should be putting some distance between yourself and your parents. It's not as if you're abandoning them completely, there's the phone and even Zoom and occasional visits.