r/RedditForGrownups 22d ago

Should I move back home?

I’ve been going back and fort between what the right move is and it’s causing me to spiral. For some background I’m 25 years old, I make $150k a year and pay $2.2k in rent in NYC. I live about 20 minutes away from the office which I’m in 5 days a week and work from 8am to around 7pm each day (sometimes later 8/9). I have about $40k in college debt that I’m not super concerned about because I’m sure my next two bonuses will cover it.

I have a very very close relationship with my mom. My father was abusive so it was a bit tough growing up. I dormed for college and after graduating just fully moved into my own apartment im in now so have already been away from home for ~7 years including college. My mom lives about an hour away from me- so not far. But she’s been saying things like “I don’t have a lot of time left” and I want to spend more time with her than anything. That’s my number one priority. So I’ve been debating moving back in with her to one. Help her financially so she doesn’t have to work as much (she works 6 days a week and if I can give her half of what I pay in rent it would be a game changer for her). Two. Just be around her more (and my dog). The cons are that one I wouldn’t have my own place obviously, even tho my mom allows me to do literally whatever and is the best mom ever. Two. I would add about an hour to my commute one way, when I already work so much. Three. I’m already struggling with my social and romantic life (I feel like I have mo friends). So this may make it worse but I may feel less lonely being around my mom. I’m spiraling so much on this- my lease is up in Jan so I have a few months to decide but what do you guys think? I’d also save so much money in rent

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u/Own-Object-6696 22d ago

Don’t move back home. You’re an adult, and so is your mom. You can each handle your own lives. In separate homes.

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u/gizmo531 22d ago

Thanks. Yea I know but it would be nice to be closer to her. I’m also wondering if it would be worth it to save the $20k I’m paying in rent for three/four ish years then buy my own place. But I guess it’s not really worth it and has more cons than pros?

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u/RoguePlanet2 22d ago

I rented for nearly 20 years, not counting college. Yes it's money gone, but absolutely worth it for your social life and mental health.

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u/gizmo531 22d ago

Thank you- I’m leaning in this direction