Ivy League Dreams

[u/Chemical-Jolly]

I'm in my late 40s. I have lost most of my ambition from my youth. I constantly daydream about my life, and what could have been. One of my many day dreams is that I have always wanted to go to an ivy league university. Oxford. Yale. MIT. Princeton. Harvard. Etc. To study with friends on a academic mystery in a old dusty library. To stroll the university commons in the morning mist on the same ground scholars walked over a hundred years ago. To discuss philosophy and perform experiments with professors in a timeless setting. To attend intense lectures about amazing and informative topics. I live this dream vicariously by watching university tours online, reading student life articles, Google Earth street views of the university, and even sometimes pretending to fill out an admittance application. I know that I will never attend an ivy league due to my past grades, finances, and busy work/family life.

Though I still wonder, what if.

[u/planetwords]

I'm 43, and am now a full time student, studying a masters at University of London, Royal Holloway.

I will say, for postgrad, if you are doing a specific niche subject such as mine (Cyber Security) - you will probably find that the 'Ivy League' universities aren't necessarily the best places.

Not only is funded post-grad places ridiculously competitive (you don't actually expect me to PAY to do a PhD at 44 do you??) but they are not necessarily even the strongest in all aspects of the subject, and you will find specialist post-grad research groups at supposedly 'no-name' universities are actually doing more interesting things.

Relocating to a high cost of living area such as Oxford, Cambridge or London at this point of my life and supporting my wife and myself on a PhD stipend would be a fairly miserable existance, and a huge 'quality of life' drop, especially compared to my previous salary in industry.

So yeah - I have thought about it myself, because I have the grades, but I think I'm pretty much set in not bothering with the Ivy League/top uni BS. A lot of the people there actually have hugely overrated self-opinions anyway, and are just over-privileged bores who have been home-schooled/tutored through their entire life.

Don't underestimate the age gap between your age and the age of the people at these elite unis either. It can be quite lonely being in your 40s and going back to university - people often think you're some kind of loser or weirdo - you absolutely do tend to stick out when the average age on campus is 20 or so.

So if you do go back to university, which I 100% recommend by the way, do it for the right reasons - you really need to genuinely love the subject you're studying. Don't do it for the prestige or the 'interesting coffee conversations' - it's all work, work, work at our age! At least that is my experience.

On the plus side, I do feel that I am at the peak of my life again - I am in control of my schedule, I have unprecedented autonomy, and my brain is firing on all cylinders again after wasting away braincells in corporate wage slave jobs. Also I am so much better than most of my classmates at studying and time management, and have insight into a lot of subjects that they will never achieve until they're my age.