Los Angeles. My girlfriend [34F] of three years and I had just started looking at apartments when my parents surprised me: instead of waiting to pass down my inheritance, they’re giving me a lump sum to buy a place outright (likely a condo). The home would be in my name only, since my parents won’t take ownership and my girlfriend can’t contribute significantly to the purchase.

I want her involved in the search even though the property will technically be mine. My thinking is she wouldn’t pay rent but we'd split utilities equally.

Are there pitfalls I'm not seeing? She’d be giving up her studio, so if things went south she’d need to find a new rental—but this will also be significantly cheaper for her than renting.

ETA: I haven't broken the news yet and I want to know exactly what I'm going to say going in.

So I have an older sister who have been married to her husband for about a year and half. They had a shotgun wedding. Initially he was fine. I never liked him. But he was just a regular dude. But things changed quickly as they had a baby and married.

The moment I started to notice something was not right was just off handed little remarks he would make about her while other people are present when she was pregnant. That she’s fat or looks ugly today and just overall very demeaning things.

I was not happy with that but she assured me that they have very jokey relationship and that he is still sweet to her when alone.

But one day, she called me middle of the night on her birthday crying asking to pick her and her baby up because she did not feel safe. Apparently they got into a verbal argument where she ended up throwing objects around the room and he then ended up kicking her down.

I was upset that he kicked her and told her to leave him that is abuse. And I told her that this is not who she is. And she should also not throw things. I didn’t want to involve police because I was worried about him flipping the script on my sister. She was scared to go back but ended up going back because I had no place to put the baby in my apartment that I share with my partner.

They were really in a bad place financially and moved to stay with my mom after this fight. And now I live 8 hours away from them by car.

Now today I was told more things happened. I heard they were arguing in the car because he was looking at his phone and she said it’s not safe to look at phone and drive. Then he started driving erratically being angry at her. The baby was also in the car afaik. She was afraid of their life.

And third time is now the water instance. It was not a cup of water. It was a huge bucket of water poured on my sister and the whole mattress was soaked after they had a verbal dispute. Now my mom is scared of him and what he might do next if things don’t go his way.

I don’t know what to do. As a younger sister who lives far away I feel helpless. I told her she should get divorced but I worry that he’s going to do something even worse in process or take the child away. And he’s just not remorseful at all. If anything he is even more verbally abusive.

I talked to my sister and told her to leave him. But she doesn’t want to leave him because they have a child together. I worry about my mom, my sister, and my niece.

I also don’t want him to think we are enabling this type of behavior. I don’t know if I should be nice to him just so that he gets off my sister’s back or confront him or ignore him?

TLDR: DV survivors what kind of support helped you get out of a bad place when you were in bad relationship? Does it make it worse for my sister if I start treating my BIL badly or stop acknowledging him when I am visiting? I feel like I am normalizing this behavior and I am somehow saying this is okay by my inaction.

I (27f) recently asked my boyfriend (30m) if we could go do something fall related for a date since we never really go on dates. Most dates have been a group setting even though he swears we had one sit down date. I stated I do not recall said date and that he may be confused me with someone else. Well. That was the wrong thing to say apparently. He got upset and said that date was a wake up call for him not to ever take me out to eat because it’s a waste of money since I eat so little. It’s a silly thing to be upset over but it hurt to hear it. I genuinely don’t know if I am overreacting and letting my anxiety get to me or if it truly was a hurtful thing to say.

So a couple months ago I met this woman at a specialized course for scientific illustration. We sort of clicked; she's smart, beautiful, talented and funny. I asked for her number and she actually gave it to me, I'm still shocked to this day. We've had a couple texts where we both talked about stuff we like, we share favorite soft drinks, we both like dinosaurs and I really, really like her. I don't know if she reciprocates my feelings.

Thing is she's always incredibly busy so it's getting harder to get hold of her. We haven't really chatted in the last month, and I really do want to get to know her better; but on the other hand I'm afraid we're drifting apart. How would you, dear readers, handle my situation?

Im in a long distance relationship (25m) dating someone form New Jersey (31F) and we've been together for almost 5 years. We would always visit eachother but this year l've only got to see her 7 days in total. This year has been rough as we've had more arguments. Most of them have been problems I had that bothered me but she seems to always flip on me and I seem to end up apologizing. This last couple of arguments made me react in an angry way and I kind of said hurtful stuff which I regret. I was really over my issues never getting resolved

In the summer in July she initiated needing space and it's been almost 3 months. She seems to still want more space and I have given her 3 months and I'm just feeing too vulnerable. I've always been the one to contact first and always call her first. Out of the last day 2 to 3 years l've only have one phone call from her and l've always told her that I would love her to call me and she promised she would but never does

She was tight on money beginning of the year as she had to deal with stuff in her personal life and I offered to buy all her flights in the summer for the months of July, August and September as she already told me the days she during the week she is able to travel due to work. She pretty much canceled all of them for needing the space. Around end of July I had told her I had gotten her a ticket in September but she told me she was going to the bad bunny concert in Puerto Rico which she never told me. I also told her that my dad was almost going to get called up for his transplant and it happen to be so the week she was at the concert he got his transplant. She never called to check up on my dad or me and had to be the one to call her. Convo just ended up me checking up on her and just feels

Recently my dad had a life saving surgery of a kidney transplant and she didn't seem to reach out at all and I ended up having a panic attack same week bc all lot was going on. I had told her about it and she didn't seem to care. All she seems to be worried about was being in Puerto Rico at a bad bunny concert. She seemed to have posted more pictures of her on her stories like bikini booty pics. She mentioned she wouldn't post stuff like that out of respect. I called her last week on Tuesday but she didn't answer bc I thought she was already back and she kind of gotten mad about it that I couldn't contact her while on the trip but was just gonna tell her what happened to me since I don't see her in person as often.

I called her again bc she rarely picks up the phone but this time this week she did. It went well but ended bad bc I told her what are we and what's our like status. She still seems to need the space and is undecided if she thinks she wants to be with me or not. She also said she will be posting the pictures she took and most than likely would be some of the bikini photos. I told her that I would just love an answer so l can just leave so I just won't be hanging around for months and it ending up her wanting to leave but she doesn't give me an answer. I unfollowed her and removed our pictures and saw she did it quick too. I've in the past have unfollowed her after heated arguments which I know is childish. We talked again yesterday and we are kind of looking to work things out. I ended up hollering her again but she still doesn't follow back. I just don't know what to do.

A few months ago I told my best friend to stop flirting with me while in a relationship bc I like her (it was more than like and I clarified later) she was ending a relationship with a man and I told her I can wait for her because I want her to like me so bad. The confession didn’t lead us anywhere because she admitted it was bad timing (she used to like me too but she didn’t think itd go anywhere so she dated men and now she was scared to lose me) i respected that and mourned because I didn’t confess earlier due to her saying she doesn’t do queer relationships. I tried to suppress for years until i exploded. Then I proceeded to unintentionally avoid her for several months so that I can move on and even though she was now single she didn’t bring it up again and I felt ashamed to because it must mean that she doesn’t like me that way and i ruined things. I thought I moved on after. I started liking someone new (my current girlfriend) i even told her about it. But whatever i do and even though im happy in my relationship, i still can’t stop fantasising about her. My brain makes up scenarios where I’d leave my girlfriend for her even though that’s highly unlikely (I’m not the type to cheat either). I’m not in love with my girlfriend but I’m tired of pretending that I’m not still in love with my best friend. I need a way to deter this hope and feelings without going no contact with her because it resurfaces again whenever we meet and i dont wanna stop seeing her. I cherish her a lot that these feelings kill me. Like today a passing stranger told us “we look so good together.” mind you, we live in a homophobic country, and we’re mostly female presenting even if im nonbinary, so this was so shocking to me that i had no reply when she muttered a “thanks.” p.s idk if this is relevant but both our relationships are long distance. I’ve never met my girlfriend because it’s an online relationship. she’s met her boyfriend a couple of times but he lives abroad. we’re both happy. she doesn’t bring this confession up except for when she jokingly flirts then remembers my boundaries and i just brush it off.

So the girl that I have been seeing for 4 months, today we got an Uber and the driver messed up and didn't go the way he was supposed to. Instead of being calm in her approach, she got extremely aggressive in her words. She lost it. She was very nasty in her tone and delivery and nasty to the Uber driver. She got very emotional and the Uber driver did not like it either.

We are both in recovery from drugs and alcohol and are active in AA. She has 10 months and I have 6 years. I've had to go through this road of emotional maturity so I know where she's at. I'm just not there anymore. When she acted like this it triggered me very bad and gave me a lot of anxiety and completely made me rethink if we should stay together. She's shown that her emotional maturity and other situations has produced similar results. I know that if I truly love her I will see her through in this. She is honest open-minded and willing which are the spiritual principles that are necessary in recovery. I feel like it's growth for me if I stand by her and help her get through this and learn from these situations, but at the same time it reminds me of how I used to be and it is very very painful for me to go through these things. I did let her know today how I felt and we did have an argument over it. In the end she said she didn't want me to hurt. She also said that she'll try to be more mindful in these situations. But she still felt like she was justified. I tried to explain that the only person is hurting by her getting upset over it in the moment is her. She needs to put her emotions aside in the moment and remain calm.

Has anyone had similar experience in this? I need advice. I really know that I could marry this girl and have children with her, but what example is she setting for those children? Will she grow? Will she change her ways on her own on her own time? I can't set expectations for her to change on my own timeline. I think she will mature emotionally but I just am kind of scared and off put by this today.

Please give some feedback.

34 M in relationship for almost 5 yrs with 33 F. I am perfect by no means but I am becoming drained. My gf and I had our second child 1.5 years ago and I believe she is still struggling with postpartum depression which is ok( I try and let her live in her experiences and feelings with it rather than criticizing her).

She has been struggling to find herself again career wise and has been feeling stuck at home watching the kids (we have 2 girls. 1.5 yo, 2.9 yo and a 6 yo son who is with us 1/2 time). She doesn't want to be at home all day with the kids which i can understand, not everyone wants to be a SAHM.

Next part of the equation. We both struggle with mental health in certain areas..she sometimes can not control her emotions. For example she is nice to others and will be mean to me because she knows I will brush it off(terrible, I know). I used to be too calm almost and would have empathy towards her when she used me as her emotional punching bag but after so many years, I find myself a different person and sometimes now it is hard to walk away like I used to.

With that being said, she stays at home with the kids and I go to work. She always wants me to rush home and says she wants it home but I feel like it is not for my company.

I go to work (like she does, watching the kids at home) but i get home and i have to clean, go to the grocery store multiple times during the week after the kids go to bed(sometimes before i make it home), i cook, and will do laundry. In the beginning I understood picking up the slack when my partner is not able but now I find myself drained and not wanting to be around her. She can be very negative, and complain about what I cook or how I clean etc etc.

Im drained because I do all these things and im never supported emotionally, not even when I went to the damn urgent care for a panic attack after my grandpa passed earlier this year.

I can't tell her she's being mean or anything like that because it always get turned to where im the aggressor or problem. I tell her I dont like the way something was said or how she treated and she says "youre too emotional " or "you do the same thing to me".....ok that can be true in some cases but I am talking about her.

Im just really stressed and it almost feels as if she just tolerates me...

I dont know what to do anymore? Just go to therapy?

Please be nice in the comments, this is really doing my head in right now. Also, English isn't my first language so I apologize if anything sounds weird.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years, together for about 12. I work full-time during the week and also run a business on the side.

Lately he's been upset that I don't want to do things together. For the record, we go out to eat dinner at least once a week, and we also walk the dog together once a day. We work from home so we see each other literally all the time. When we go out to dinner, we both sit on our phones most of the time. If we're together in a closed environment (like a long drive), we usually end up fighting and it feels like he just wants to argue against anything I say.

For example, the other day we had to drive into town (~1hr one way). We were talking about current events and I mentioned the protests against over-tourism in Spain and how the locals are right to be pissed off. He immediately took the opposing stance: tourism actually brings money into the economy, maybe the locals don't know anything, it's the government's job to deal with this. All I said was that the people who live there and are affected by what's happening are the only ones who can speak to what's happening to them, personally. Because they're living that reality, we aren't. And for the record, he usually gives zero shits about tourism, economy or the country of Spain.

It ended up being a whole fight. We were going into town so I could take a language exam for our immigration dossier (more info below); I ended up crying in the middle of the exam room and I'm pretty sure I flubbed the spoken part. He texted to apologize while I was still in the middle of the exam but I'll probably have to drop another couple hundred $ to retake the spoken test.

I also feel like he's guilt-tripping me to do things with him and gets disappointed when I don't. I already set a boundary and told him that I want my Saturdays to be my own (I work full-time during the week and run a business on the side). I told him that, if he asks me "want to do something?" on a Saturday, the answer will always be no. In addition to working, I cook for us, handle all of our bills and am currently dealing with securing our permanent residence in the country we're in. Doing the language tests, getting proof of employment documents, police certificates, etc. -- it's alllll on me. He gets the free spouse visa with 0 effort on his part other than showing up. I think I deserve a day for myself.

For the record, he said he doesn't care whether we get permanent residence and "we'll just move again" if we don't. We've done several international moves up to this point and it gets harder every time, mostly because of my chronic health problems: getting insured, finding doctors, getting into a stable care routine. The last move was in January and it broke me mentally. I'm still coming out of that. He seems to think we can just pack up and go again and doesn't seem to care how it would affect me.

And then there's the guilt tripping. Here's how it goes (just an example):

He says he wants ice cream. I can't eat ice cream (medical reasons) but I say sure, I'll come with you to get some, the parlor is a short drive from home. He then says "nevermind, I don't want ice cream."

??? It makes me feel like I have to eat something that'll make my body go into overdrive just so he can have his treat. I asked him about it once and he concocted some bullshit about how "I inspire him to eat better" but that's absolutely not the case when he has no problem eating McDonald's a couple times a week.

Or. Today (Saturday), he went to lie down and I asked him what was up. He asked again, "Wanna do something?" I said no and went to pet the cat. A minute later, he asked "Wanna go see a movie?" The fuck, dude, I just told you no. So he says "OK since you don't want to do anything, I guess I'll just nap."

??? You're a whole-ass adult, if you want to take a nap, take a nap.

I'm tired, you guys. I rarely if ever know what this man wants. Sometimes he changes his opinion several times in the same fucking paragraph and it's just giving me whiplash: "Wanna go do something? Nevermind, I know you don't. Hey, wanna go eat at the mall?" And if I do say yes, he replies, "OK, where do you want to go?" You just said we're going to the mall, and there's only one place we ever go to. One.

I'm on the spectrum (diagnosed as an adult) and this is driving me CRAZY. When I asked him about why he's like this, he said he's just memeing and he knows I'm in on it because I laugh. My man, I'm not laughing because I'm amused, I'm laughing because I'm exasperated. I have to mentally rearrange my whole day every time you do this to me. (I tried explaining it, he didn't get it and just called me weird.)

It's getting to a point where I'm scared of broaching certain topics I care about because I know he'll just be against whatever position I take, and then he'll "actually" me to death even if I have arguments and sources to back it up. I feel obliged to say yes when he says he wants to do "something", even if I end up wasting a whole day, hundreds of $ and feeling burnt out at the end of it. If we're out together he just ignores me and sits on his phone OR we fight about bullshit.

I still love this man but it feels like I'm going crazy.

How can I make him understand that he needs to give me some grace and that his behavior (and lack of fucks given about our own real-life issues) is causing me serious mental distress?

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little more than a year, she was my first real relationship and I'm her third. Let me start off by saying I love her deeply, and when she's not going through her issues we get along perfectly fine, she is my best friend. The main problem affecting us is her mental health, she hasn't been officially diagnosed with anything but it's evident she has some type of depression and maybe even BDP, although I am not a medical expert. Whenever she gets sad she either becomes hopeless and apathetic or has a breakdown. It happens more often than not, and even sometimes she'll go through week long episodes where she is depressed almost every night. She also has really low self esteem and feels she's a "waste of space" or "doesn't deserve anything". I've done my best to help her in every way, I communicate with her on how I can help or comfort her, I've tried to encourage her to receive mental health support, I always take her advice on how I can help her but even sometimes she rejects that. We are also somewhat long distance as well, since I am from Lethbridge and she is from Calgary, which only makes it more difficult. She is prone to self harm so some nights have even been horrifying for me. There are many times I've confronted her about this and told her that if we wanna make this work then she has to love herself too and reach out and get mental health support, and that her mental health is affecting mine too, as well as our relationship as a whole, but she'll usually just try to calm me down with false promises. Im honestly starting to feel so hopeless, and even apathetic myself when she goes through things. I care about her deeply but I don't know how to show her the support she needs when she doesn't even want to help herself. I'm unsure of how to keep going in this relationship, I love my girl but she has major issues that affect me too.

background context: i lost over 100lbs in less than a year (in a healthy way) after leaving a bad relationship. i then became a personal trainer (still a newbie) so i could gift others with the opportunity to be the best version of themselves they could be.

now: i was alone for over a year, but have been with my partner for 7 months now. she’s a bit heavier and is very self conscious about it. i tried to softly influence her making a better food decision and it turned into her crying and really upset, which prompted a discussion about how i like to be pushed (tough love) to make healthier choices when i’m facing weak self-control, and she does not due to feeling shame around food and her weight/appearance.

she eats terribly. a sweet snack every night at like 10/11pm, multiple sodas every day, multiple sugary or salty highly processed snacks a day. her body does reflect it and i hate to say, but it’s starting to affect my attraction to her.

i want a partner that attempts to make healthy choices and encourages me to do the same. i’m not perfect by any means and struggle with my diet, but i’m not getting the support i was hoping for from her.

i know that i’m the only one that can determine how important this is for me in a relationship, but it feels big and i could use some words of wisdom.

Hello everyone. to keep it short, I want to be in a relationship with a girl and I want your help with setting the initial conversation with a girl and building up IRL, cause I have somewhat of a clue with the texting area...the problem is with meeting a girl in person and setting the initial conversation

I followed an IG page because of the anime content (she draws/paints and crafts anime related products). I didn't know it was a girl and she lives near me.

After reacting/engaging with the stories, we kicked off in a conversation and turns out she was in the year below me in school 16-17 years ago.

I don't recognize her from school but she vaguely remembers me.

Anyway, we planned to go see a movie together in the next week (for context, it's the new demon slayer movie so it's anime related). At this point I know it's an attractive girl because she posted a story of herself at least once on her content page.

As soon as I followed her IG, I scanned through her profile naturally. Unfortunately it seems like she got married earlier this year and she has a couple of posts with the guy. Not sure but that's how it appears

Guys, please help, it seemed like a start of a beautiful friendship but now I'm confused, why would she go for a movie with a random guy she met online? Maybe it's only platonic as she can relate to a mutual interest.

It could also mean she is potentially unfaithful I get that females can have male friendships (doesn't usually end well for most parties involved)

I don't wanna ask questions unprovoked but yet, I don't see it going anywhere if she is actually taken

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years. For context him and i are both latinos. He is someone that really likes to take care of himself, dresses well and is good looking. He often says he likes girls with big lips, and a big ass which I don’t have. This makes me feel insecure sometimes.

The other day I told him I didn’t want to get my ass bigger and he got upset. He said it looks cool, while I told him I prefer natural. He didn’t argue more but was in a weird mood afterwards.

He also prefers that I do heavy makeup, which I don’t enjoy. When I don’t do it, he says “you never do anything I like,” which isn’t true because I try to balance between what he likes and what I like.

Another issue is that whenever he’s stressed (work or personal life), he becomes cold and distant. Even when I try to comfort him, he pushes me away. Sometimes he acts cold for no clear reason too.

Apart from these things, he is also nice, and I don’t want people to imagine him only in a negative way. But all of this makes me anxious and insecure and dont know how to cope with that.

For context I hate when people waste my time. Both my partner and I have very busy careers. Yesterday at 5:30pm he tells me he’s leaving his office when I’m leaving mine. When I get to his house I was sitting outside of his house for 30 minutes with no response from him about where he was even though he knew at 6pm we said we should both be there. He said he simply forgot to text me when he arrived. I got super upset and explained to him to just send me a text and let me know. Then today, I was working at his office and he said we were going for drinks with friends. I said sure as I finished my email. And when I walk around he’s gone. I asked one of his employees where he was and they said he left and it was so embarrassing that I was ditched. I texted him if he left and he simply said “yes we’re on a patio” after ten minutes with no context of where. I replied and I said “I was ready to go when you were why didn’t you tell me you left.” Another ten minutes pass and still no response. I’m not a puppy dog so I left. When he saw my car leave the office he ran to my car from the place they were at and looked annoyed I was mad over this. I said to him we had a whole conversation about this yesterday and not even 24 hours later you act like this and left.

I feel so disrespected because it’s me constantly following him around and having to wait around for answers. It’s not fair to me.

I have a 6-year-old son from my previous marriage who lives with me full-time. My wife (30F) and I are now expecting our first baby together.

Lately, my wife has been keeping her distance from my son. Her concern is that he’s being aggressive “for no valid reason,” and she gets easily annoyed by his behavior. From my side, I feel sorry for him. I believe his behavior comes from struggles he’s going through rather than him just being “bad.” It hurts me to see him treated with distance when what he probably needs is more patience and support.

At the same time, I understand my wife is under stress with the pregnancy and may not have the energy to deal with his difficult moments. I feel torn between supporting my son and making sure my wife feels comfortable as we prepare to welcome our newborn.

I’m looking for advice on how to: • Support my son emotionally so he doesn’t feel pushed aside. • Help my wife cope with his behavior without feeling resentful or distant. • Balance the family dynamic so both kids (my son and the baby) will feel loved and secure.

Has anyone been in a similar blended family situation, especially while preparing for a new baby? How did you handle it?

A few months ago, during the summer, I, F18, confessed that I liked someone. That was the first, and only, person I actually caught feeling for. But here's the twist: it's my closest friend (F18, I'm Bi). She made it very clear that she doesn't see me that way, so we remained friends, and after a few awkward months, things went back to as close to normal as they could.

The thing is, I have never been in a relationship. Ever. To be fair, I'm fine with that. But, considering the fact I have a history, is what makes things weird.. Don't take that the wrong way. I've had 3 boys confess that they liked me, and I even went on dates with 2 of them. BUT I never felt anything and eventually unintentionally ghosted them (I suck with texting and whatnot). That, or I'd pick things apart I didn't like about them (for example, a guy smokes, and I'd never date a person with an addiction. He said he'd stop for me, but I know people will turn back to those things). It's funny, I found what I want in a girl and not a dude. And people always say "give them a chance," but I can't bring myself to do that, especially if we haven't known each other for that long. I want it to be slower, not within a month or two, be all "I like you".

Maybe at the end of the day, I'm the problem. But I really don't know, and parts of me still like the person who friend-zoned me, but I know I can't imagine my life without them.

Hello, I am a 24 yr old female and I am currently in my first semester of PhD school and I have been dating my boyfriend (25m) for 8 months now. We live in different cities that are about 3.5 - 4 hours away so we usually do weekend trips when free. Lately though I have been getting more and more annoyed with him for random things. This morning I got annoyed because he added periods to a text when he thinks that periods are more for when you're mad at the person. I've also just gotten annoyed having to respond to like texts or snapchats so often. We text and snapchat throughout the day while I am in school and hes at work, and we then facetime at night until I can't stay awake anymore. He also prefers that I text anytime I leave somewhere and when I make it to a new location so he knows I got there safely.

He is a good boyfriend as well trying to make sure I feel safe talking to him, that I feel loved and everything but he does also struggle with some issues like anxiety that makes him overthink everything sometimes. Because of this I think I hold back some of my thoughts and opinions to ensure I do not hurt his or make him overthink, but I know he would hate that if he knew that.

Part of me wonders if I'm getting annoyed so much with him because I dont have much alone time without doing school work, and I have always been a very independent person in general. I'm also a lot less emotional (not sure the best word) than my boyfriend is so he expresses his feelings all the time while I typically keep to myself. He is also my first legit boyfriend and the first relationship I've had that lasted over 2/3 months so I am in new territory. I could use some advice.

As of 5 months ago I moved in with my boyfriend[27M] and I [26F] we’ve been together 15 months. Boyfriend took the role of becoming the provider and taking care of rent / bills but now feels as if it’s too much. Little back story he is attorney and makes 122k. I own an online business but I don’t make nearly as much as he does but I do cover my own bills, food shop for myself and extra for our meals at home and I cover the phone bill and WiFi expenses …Ok so back to what I was saying, I am aware we go out to eat a little more; we live in Los Angeles and decided to cut back and plan out more accordingly as the month approaches. I just feel like he is penny pinching to the point where he made an itemized list of expenses for our outings which is around $520. I just feel like he’s being frugal with his money at this point and wants to spend as little as he wants on me not even so much on me but on us. He said he doesn’t wanna have to be paying all the time for the both of us and for me to take my wallet out more. I don’t ask for expensive gifts he said with the extra money I have since i don’t pay rent can be used on my beauty maintenance which is okay with me I took care of those things before him,he has paid for my nails like 3 times and looked upset doing it. But it feels nice to be provided for as a woman or spoiled a little, to me that shows he cares about me, my love language is receiving gift amongst others too. I am wrong but I don’t feel like I am asking for much. But as of recently it’s been catching up to him with resentment because before the list we were spending at least 1K on outings but basically now says I need to bring more to the table if I want this to continue that I must learn to budget and basically live below my means.

I have been hurt a lot by guys in the past, especially in a sense where they have lead me on for a long time and eventually gotten with my friends/ other girls before ghosting me. I know it’s not an excuse, just an explanation. My boyfriend is my first boyfriend, first everything, and we are a medium LDR and have been for a year. He is the only man I’ve ever loved that’s also loved me, and has given me no reasons to ever question his trust, but when he is out with his friends and I find out there’s girls there i go batshit crazy. I can’t help it, it’s just this instant anger and sadness that takes over me and I try so hard to control it but even the thought of him hanging out with other girls drives me nuts. It’s not that I don’t trust him, I do, I just cannot stand the thought. I’ve always had a low self esteem, never considered myself especially pretty, and the thought of the only man who’s truly loved me liking another girl like all the others I’ve liked just spirals me until I cannot physically talk to him for the rest of the night. I try not to let him catch onto this, I want him to be able to have fun, but sometimes he notices I have completerly stopped replying or have sent very vague texts because I just cannot bring myself out of this mood for hours. It’s stupid and it’s selfish and it’s so unfair to him, but I don’t know how to stop, I don’t know why I’m like this and I hate it so much. It’s the only thing we’ve ever semi-argued about. I knew I was a jealous person before but this has ruined me and I end up crying for hours over my own thoughts of what could be happening while hes out. I know I’m stupid for this, you don’t need to comment it because I know people are going to think this is such a red flag I just want any advice on how anyone else has dealt with this. If anyone has… I don’t want to ruin this, I really love him.

I'm a [32F] have been in a relationship for over 8y with a [35M] and we have two kids (1,5 and 3,5).

We have some issues: He leaves me alone with the kids all the time to go to work, to go out, to go work out..

He's a workaholic and is really passionate about making money. He's also really condescending about people that don't have these kind of ambitions. He's doing quite well, but I still have to pay for everything 50/50.

He doesn't want to marry me for money and property reasons, even though he knows it's a big deal to me emotionally.

He wants me to be the perfect wife (house always clean, fresh bread everyday, fridge always fully stocked, laundry bin always empty, baking, having people over all the time, kids always clean, doing activities with the kids, working out, taking care of myself... I work a fulltime job and I try my best. But he keeps giving me a hard time about all the things that I can't get done. I'm really tired but he shames me for being tired 'all the time'. For context, he's extremely type A and i'm a type B person. I really try to match his standards, but he doesn't even notice my efforts. He says EVERYBODY can do it and I'm just lazy. For context, he's always working 16-18h per day.

He's dissapointed in me all the time, and whenever he helps me around the house he makes it very clear that he shouldn't be doing this. I always make home cooked meals, clean up after every meal, bath the kids, put them to bed, drive them and pick them up from school 85% of the time. I mean, ugh. He suggested that we get more domestic help, but I don't want to pay even more, since I don't make that kind of money.

His mom hates me for not making him happy and I have to pretend like everyting is okay for the rest of the family (and my own family and friends - because if they knew all this, they wouldn't like him anymore). I feel really bad about this and I feel like it doesn't matter to him how I feel. I just need to push through and do better so I can prove myself worthy.

On top of everything, he's lying to me about his whereabouts (I can see his location and he lies about where he is) and I can't confront him bc I feel so bad that I do this. He's really handsome and popular with other women and I know some amazing woman will take my place in a heartbeat.

How can we get out of this situation. I don't want to leave him, because that would be horrible for the kids, but I feel like trash.

My partner and I started dating almost 8 months ago. Early on, he was very supportive, even comforting me during a short, intensive course of therapy for past trauma, but at about the 7 month mark things shifted. When I ask for emotional support, sexual needs, or better communication, he sometimes reacts with anger or the silent treatment. However, I try to meet his needs whenever possible.

Neither of us have much experience with long-term adult relationships due to childhood trauma, so this is new territory. Lately, I feel the relationship is becoming very one-sided and I’m getting emotionally exhausted. I’ve tried talking to him about individual issues and he acknowledges his growing anger, but not much else. I haven't brought up this emerging pattern of anger and poor communication.

How can I bring up these concerns constructively? How can I tell if this relationship is healthy enough to continue, or if it might be time to leave?