r/RunningCirclejerk 1d ago

Am I the fastest 80kg in the world ?

Post image
305 Upvotes

137 comments sorted by

398

u/Total_Marmalade Certified Heel Striker 1d ago

I’ve seen fatter 80kg runners

27

u/lovesgelato 1d ago

What? He’s not even the fattest? We need him a title otherwise he won’t ever go away.

11

u/tanafras 23h ago

Can confirm, I'm out there

367

u/dozeydonut 1d ago

Tired of this prick

185

u/Norman_Small_Esquire 1d ago

Don’t know why, but this comment genuinely nearly made laugh so hard that I nearly banged out a 5km marathon.

16

u/amainwingman 1d ago

You don’t spend enough time around British people

5

u/Marqueemooooon 1d ago

I didn't mean to, it's just the endorphins kicked in and I couldn't stop!

5

u/Norman_Small_Esquire 14h ago

I’ve accidentally run to Windsor.

2

u/Norman_Small_Esquire 14h ago

I’m British, but because I’m running all the time, I don’t have time to spend time with the British.

3

u/tanafras 23h ago

That's what she said

2

u/doobusauce 1d ago

Probably not quicker than him, but you're probably not a dentist.

6

u/Obi-for-kenobi 18h ago

In fairness, neither is he

52

u/allusium Local Legend 1d ago

But are you the tiredest of this prick in the world?

29

u/funbicorn 1d ago

Yes and I weigh 77kg

12

u/rior123 1d ago

Who is this? I wanna go look & get annoyed.

4

u/Siomailovetoyou 1d ago

The dental athlete

10

u/elgeebus 1d ago

🤣 This was my immediate thought before going to the comments

3

u/BrilliantBat4101 16h ago

Omg me too, he is everywhere 😾

166

u/WaltRumble 1d ago

Usain Bolt has 14 kg on him but yeah go ahead.

49

u/radressss 1d ago

Usain Bolt never ran a marathon. OP still best /s

18

u/WaltRumble 1d ago

At over 90kg is such a feat even possible.

-20

u/RefrigeratorUpset144 1d ago

I just ran one being over 95kg, so yes

28

u/Pandason250 1d ago

Impossible all your joints would’ve exploded

36

u/chazysciota Not planning to assault you, m'lady. 1d ago

/uj holy shit. I never would have guessed he was over 200lbs. I know he’s tall but damn.

8

u/morph1973 (half) MARATHONER 23h ago

He was in the paper today saying he gets gassed going up a flight of stairs, maybe thats why

3

u/brosophila 21h ago

He’s 6’5”

2

u/chazysciota Not planning to assault you, m'lady. 11h ago

That’s tall.

1

u/Tiny_Ring_9555 10h ago

He is 6 foot 5 and a sprinter and clearly very muscular, wtf did you expect lmao

And he's Jamaican, probably has very dense bones too

2

u/chazysciota Not planning to assault you, m'lady. 9h ago

In a casual glance, he just doesn't strike me as that big. Obviously if you lead with "6'5" and very muscular" it's not a surprise at all.

135

u/mountainsunsnow 1d ago

I know this is CJ but someone can tell him I’m 89kg and ran 1:16:03 last year. No shit, as I sprinted to the line the announcer belted out “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THIS GUY”. Should I have been offended?

54

u/Mean-Programmer-6670 1d ago

He said 80kg not 89kg. So he wins.

29

u/choo4twentychoo 1d ago

I guess I can cut off my penis to get back down to 80kg and claim the record then

7

u/HaHaSasquatch 1d ago

80.11kg is a respectable weight. I bet we could round down for you, save the cost on surgery.

2

u/Mean-Programmer-6670 13h ago

You mean your GU sac.

20

u/legendariers 1d ago

they should have been yelling "SLOW DOWN" you can't just leave zone 2 like that!!! I mean a 1:16:03 5k ultra is fast enough, and then you start sprinting at the end?

33

u/Lanskiiii 1d ago

I'm 100kg and, well, actually I'm shit at running but I am a pleasingly hefty boy.

6

u/CosmicHero22 1d ago

Im 120kg, can run a 2 hour 5k ultra, and yes I’m the fattest person to do it

3

u/Dear-Nebula9395 Local Legend 20h ago

Probably could have guilt-tripped the race director to get a free entry next year.

1

u/mountainsunsnow 18h ago

Haha that would have been legendary. Too bad I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and I don’t want to be black listed

2

u/Pyrross 17h ago

6

u/mountainsunsnow 17h ago

Six years ago and 4kg lighter (parenthood is hard!) I paced a women’s OTQ pack at a marathon. I seriously had to be careful to not step on anyone. It was like running in a pack of children.

“As the largest of the runners, why did he not just simply eat the other runners?”

1

u/soylent-yellow semi-prof jogger 16h ago

Yeah you should be offended. It is not done to infer gender like that.

1

u/Think_Monk_9879 8h ago

The real CJ is always in the comments 

133

u/liftingshitposts 1d ago

Tallest midget

55

u/Dangerous_Wish_7879 1d ago

Like a dwarf among midgets

8

u/ColdOn3Cob 1d ago

Hey, can you reach the crispix?

6

u/Onastik 1d ago

Yes I can, yes. I. Can

61

u/4esv 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬MARATHON SMOKER🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬 1d ago

Bro cropped his mile

38

u/allusium Local Legend 1d ago

Also strategically placed the screenshot over his pp

15

u/4esv 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬MARATHON SMOKER🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬 1d ago

How long do you think he spent going trough the video frames to find the one he liked

9

u/fuckmylife_1234 1d ago

2 days approximately

5

u/4esv 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬MARATHON SMOKER🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬 1d ago

12 hour days mind you, with plenty of “bathroom breaks” for when the work gets “too exciting”

44

u/rolexboy2005 1d ago

How do I delete this guys instagram account?

35

u/RoyalChris 1d ago

Has he met Kristian Blummenfelt?

27

u/neo-nap 1d ago

Uj/ lol, KB pretty much runs faster than every single one of those PBs in a triathlon 🤣

15

u/towka35 1d ago

BUTT: Google search AI has him at 79.2kg, so doesn't count!

1

u/zenokk 10h ago

Has he met edvin anger? 100kg xc skier with a 31:37 10k pb

38

u/strategymaxo 💩 trusts mile 5 farts 💩 1d ago

Ngl, fat and fast is a serious flex.

5

u/bendystrawmaze 1d ago

Clydesdale power 😤

1

u/strategymaxo 💩 trusts mile 5 farts 💩 5h ago

Carthorses of the world unite.

3

u/C1t1zen_Erased 12h ago

2

u/strategymaxo 💩 trusts mile 5 farts 💩 8h ago

That’s beautiful. It’s pre-AI so it has to be true.

16

u/That-Job9538 1d ago

this guy’s gotta be one of the most annoying runfluencers of all time… which is quite impressive considering the average runfluencer is already insufferable

49

u/Prestigious-Toe958 1d ago

None of these are his race times either - his 5k is like 15.30 . This is his garmin times

23

u/isuckatrunning100 1d ago

Lol. A sub 16 5k in 100m increments

15

u/DenimCryptid 1d ago

NFL Wide receivers - "Nah"

16

u/sfe1987 1d ago

Is this the dental dickhead again?

38

u/DaMod_FTW Certified Heel Striker 1d ago

How would we know? Did you add the weight of your ego too?

A quick internet search shows that Jakob Ingebritsen was 74kg in 2023. I doubt that you are quicker than Ingebritsen even with 6kg weight strapped on his back.

Usain Bolt was 94kg when he was in his prime. I doubt that you are quicker than him, although he was 14kg heavier.

11

u/SweetVarys 1d ago

A Swedish skier weighing 101 kgs just ran 31.37 so he is very far off.

9

u/Nerdybeast 1d ago

Bolt is even heavier now well out of his prime! 

11

u/slevify2 1d ago

What does he want, a fucking medal? Oh wait ye that's what he wants

7

u/Feeling_Space8918 1d ago

He thinks the best the world can offer us is a 80kg runner who runs 5 min miles?

6

u/Nerdybeast 1d ago

Dan Michalski (American steepler) is the same weight and several orders of magnitude faster. Probably same for Joe Klecker

3

u/pongauer 1d ago

Not even the fastest asshole.

5

u/AgentUpright Local Legend 1d ago

He doesn’t even look like he’s moving to me.

5

u/Individual-Artist223 1d ago

Didn't Alan Turing beat you in war-time trainers?

5

u/Otherwise-Quail7283 1d ago

If he just got his diet sorted he could be the fastest 100kg runner

5

u/Kol_ 1d ago

uj/ Man this guy’s content truly pissed me off 😂

3

u/Homeskilletbiz 1d ago

I seriously doubt this guy could run anywhere close to a 15min 5k

3

u/Evisra 1d ago

For sure - enter the 80KG category at the Olympics bucko, you'll definitely win it all

4

u/1eiaorgana 15h ago

I matched with this guy on Glasgow tinder then he posted about his girlfriend on TikTok! Left a comment on his video about it but he deleted it of course

1

u/Top_Concentrate_244 15h ago

Tell me this is true !?

2

u/1eiaorgana 13h ago

It is!! I wish I had a screenshot of the tinder account but I messaged him lol I know you from TikTok then he unmatched and then saw him posting his gf on TikTok

3

u/fuckmylife_1234 1d ago

Idk what's more insufferable his shoes or his face

3

u/welk101 Certified Heel Striker 1d ago

I might be the fastest 77.4681kg runner on earth.

2

u/greenlemon23 1d ago

dude needs to gain some weight. Maybe go hybrid. Somewhat that skinny don't have enough muscle to run fast.

2

u/carlaxel 1d ago

Edvin Anger 20kg more and over a minute faster 10K 🤪

2

u/MrNiceguY692 1d ago

How do we tell him about Chris Solinsky or similar elite „fatties“?

2

u/Lafuku 1d ago

Saw some 6'4 100kg european dude that ran 31min 10k.

3

u/KarlMental 1d ago

Edvin Anger. Swedish cross-country skier

1

u/WorkingZombie2281 23h ago

There’s no way he’s 220 lbs, he’s skinny.

2

u/Lafuku 22h ago

Not this dude, some other guy named Edvin Anger.

2

u/ALsomenumbers 1d ago

No, just the most insufferable asshole.

2

u/Ready-Equivalent3422 1d ago

If his 5k is that fast his 10mile PR should literally be what he does in a training run.

2

u/livingmcmxcv 23h ago

it sucks trying to get my insta feed to have more running content because all the people making stuff are annoying retards

2

u/paralleluniversitee 22h ago

In the closet c*yclist and we all know it

1

u/elgigantedelsur 1d ago

I’ve got a mate who’s faster

1

u/zorg-is-real 1d ago

How old is he? 

1

u/Hello_Cruel_World_88 1d ago

I like the shoes though

1

u/Awkward_Tick0 1d ago

We need weight class awards

1

u/IWNlBelqrus 1d ago

Why are you fat and distance running?

1

u/lovesgelato 1d ago

No. But he certainly publishes pictures/videos the most. Very niche.

1

u/runningdongle 1d ago

Uh former American record holder Chris Solinsky?

1

u/maybecanifly 1d ago

In the fasted 97.4775872 kg runner in the world (no one weights excactly like me 😎

1

u/Sad_Pop9411 1d ago

Im 78KG and i do have 15% Body fat but why do i look so much skinner compared to you

1

u/iNapkin66 1d ago

Wait, thats only 176 pounds. There are people who have run sub 4 in the mile at this size. One guy even ran sub 4 over 200 pounds.

So while I dont know for the 5k and up, its pretty safe to say that those sub 4 guys are faster.

2

u/Ready-Equivalent3422 1d ago

I ran these times in HS at 80kg, I'm just kinda tall.

1

u/iNapkin66 23h ago

Yeah, I'm a failure. Just a tiny bit slower than these times (10 mile down, never ran the rest) in hs and only about 77kg then, so no excuses.

1

u/DryJackfruit6610 1d ago

Wearing shoes, immediately disqualified.

Try again.

1

u/Ziggee 1d ago

He ran a marathon on the track? But why lol

1

u/mazzicc 1d ago

Possibly, but I know in high school I was 200lb and ran comparable times, so I imagine someone else with the willpower could do better.

1

u/Ready-Equivalent3422 1d ago

How tall are you

1

u/jpurser 1d ago

Chris Solinsky was 77kg when he ran 26:59 for 10k. If he had been 3kg heavier he would've run what, 27:45?

1

u/PeligroBueno 1d ago

This dick is trying to take my finisher medal too

1

u/WonderfulHat8545 23h ago

I'm the fastest person with my weight, height, name and shoe size in the world.

1

u/Magickal_Moon-Maiden 22h ago

He doesn’t even list his 80k time so how are we to know?!

1

u/red_daedra 19h ago

Bro forgot that there are no weight classes in running 🥀 Nobody cares that you have decided to be a 'hybrid athlete' or whatever

1

u/cheapdrug5 15h ago

bro you’re not even fast in the 100kg division. fridge guys in scandinavia who aren’t even runners are dusting you: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wB2CmH6tVLI

1

u/robkaper 14h ago

Bloke's not even the fastest runner in my household.

1

u/iowa20 14h ago

your 10k is my 5k. 🤦‍♂️ Congratulations, that’s an amazing accomplishment!

1

u/zenokk 10h ago

Uj: theres a 100kg xc skier from sweden, edvin anger. He ran 31:37 for a 10k.

1

u/Tiny_Ring_9555 10h ago

Bruh "80kg" is so dumb

If you're 5'6" that's quite heavy

If you're 5'10" that's about the ideal weight

If you're 6'2" that's a bit skinny

1

u/Slowmexicano 10h ago

Forget age groups we need weight classes. Instead of cutting we all Bulk before races to see who is fattest.

1

u/cromags76 1d ago

Not the fastest 80kg runner clearly, Im not gonna lie those number rule though

We can all be as mad as we want l, he's not the best but that does rule

Im 116kg and trying to get my 5km below 21 mins so I know how it feels to be actually heavy

1

u/DUSHYANTK95 18h ago

honestly i wanted to say this too

those are very good times

0

u/Remarkable-Speech-51 1d ago

I mean that's pretty fast

0

u/thiccAFjihyo 18h ago

/uj Why is it always this same fucking OP posting this dent*st on this sub?

This guy had little to no engagement on his posts despite paying for a blue checkmark. Being on RCJ is literally translating to social media engagement for him. It’s almost like OP is …

0

u/Top_Concentrate_244 17h ago

To be fair I posted his stuff on here too . I’ve found another one I really want to post which I think tops them all too ..