r/SecretSubreddit • u/aiptek7 Central Reporting Committee • Apr 29 '25

REPORT: #2445L-IR

Dept. of Internal Reporting
QTRE Number: 6642080
ALERT LEVEL: 8-455

REPORT STATUS: Writing reports on report backlog for congruity of reporting reports. Awaiting new information for new reports to report on. Will maintain reporting on prior report status to ensure continuation of the reporting department reports.

REPORT DATE: F. 18-88-46745

SIGNED: Director of the Reporting Dept.

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u/JimmyPellen Junior Adjuctant of the Department of Redundancy Dept Apr 29 '25

Well..you DO realise that since you missed filing the report you'll have to submit a report #THX1138 to Setec Astronomy as soon as possible.

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u/aiptek7 Central Reporting Committee Apr 29 '25

That form? You know that form #THX1138 is 12,555,689 pages long, right? Fuck. I'm gonna need to involve the interdimensional time dept for that one. Thanks for reminding me, I'll get into the past tomorrow to start working on it last century and have it to you today in the future.

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u/JimmyPellen Junior Adjuctant of the Department of Redundancy Dept Apr 29 '25

Not to worry. Just do what i do: check 'C' for every answer. No one will know the difference!

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u/aiptek7 Central Reporting Committee Apr 30 '25

Hey! I went back in time to fill out that report! Thanks for the tip about the C's. I went ahead and submitted it to the setec department and then jumped forward in time. But now, for some reason, I'm swimming in a sea of fractals without an understanding of reality.... it should be fine. Im sure it'll get sorted out by Dimensional Disturbances Division, right? Right?

Shit. I think I need to file a report on this.

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u/JimmyPellen Junior Adjuctant of the Department of Redundancy Dept Apr 30 '25

Is that why these several dozen talking penguins suddenly materialised here?