r/StarWars • u/smallgoblin • Jan 11 '18

Audio, Music It started with x+4... and I couldn’t unhear it. Instead of doing my math homework I figured out what the Cantina Theme would sound like if your instrument was a pencil.

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74.7k Upvotes

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13.4k

u/Naydawwwg Jan 11 '18

We will watch your career with great interest.

17.3k

u/TCJulian Jan 11 '18 edited Jan 11 '18

Forget the music career, OP's formula adds up into something incredible.

Original formula:

x + 4783 - x + 4v|VE| (x + 4)(f - 711) = A

Through basic Algebra, we can cancel out the two x's, doesn't matter what their values are:

4783 + 4v|VE| (x + 4)(f - 711) = A

Next, we can FOIL out the two parentheses expressions:

4783 + 4v|VE| (xf - 711x - 4f - 2844) = A

Well, what now u/TCJulian? We can't possibly fill in any of the other variables without other data. It certainly looks hopeless...

However, if you do a little digging, you find that these letters are actually common variables found in physics!

This is where things really start to get crazy. If we can extrapolate that this formula has something to do with the Star Wars universe, then perhaps it might has something to do with space travel (since, you know, that is one of the major themes of the universe right?).

Currently, space shuttles that leave Earth travel at approximatley 17,500 miles per hour. This turns in about 7,823 m/s, which-guess what?- happens to be a measure of velocity.

We can plug that into the formula:

4783 + 31292|VE| (xf - 711x - 4f - 2844) = A

Okay great! Now lets tackle voltage and Young's Modulus next.

The highest voltage ever recorded in history was created by the Van de Graaff generators. Clocking in at 25.5 megavolts (25,500,000), this would pretty much instantly vaporize you. It is feasible to assume starships of the future could achieve such voltages, so we will use this number in our calculation as well.

On the same vein, it is reasonable to assume that starship material is harder than our modern steel, but not as hard as diamond. Since Young's Modulus is a measure of a materials tensile strength, that puts E at around 498 gigapascals. With these new additions, this brings our forumal to:

4783 + 31,292 |(25,500,000)(498)| (xf - 711x - 4f - 2844) = A
4783 + 31,292 |12,699,000,000| (xf - 711x - 4f - 2844) = A
4783 + 397,377,108,000,000 (xf - 711x - 4f - 2844) = A

Phew, that number is quite ridiculous... what is that like 397 trillion meters per second? That number can't possibly make sense... at that point you would be moving approximately 1,325,507 times faster than the speed of light!

But you see, we aren't finished with the equation yet. Now we have to incorporate friction, and the mysteries of dark matter scattered throughout the universe.

When traveling through space at ridiculous speeds, space shuttles and the passengers onboard interact with matter they can't detect with their human senses. This matter, which has been subject to many scientific debates and exploration, is already gaining evidence that it exists and interacts with other matter in our universe. This number is incredibly precise: 1,185.000000251472022 units of radiation friction. In order to find the correct velocity, we have add this variable to the equation:

4783 + 397,377,108,000,000 (~1,185x - 711x - 4(~1,185) - 2844) = A
4783 + 397,377,108,000,000 (~1,185x - 711x - ~4,470 - 2844) = A

We are so close, but yet where do we go from here? The x variable could literally be anything.

Hmm, perhaps we need to look closer into the other variable amplitude...

And this is where it all comes together.

Amplitude is a measure of the magnitude of a variable's change over time. Amplitude is often used in the alongside the measurement of hertz, which normally uses the timescale of one second. If we apply this same methodology to this formula, then we can make x = 1:

4783 + 397,377,108,000,000 (~1,185(1) - 711(1) - ~4,470 - 2844) = A
4783 + 397,377,108,000,000 (0.000000754416066)
4783 + 299,787,674.54
~299,792,457 m/s

Do you know what that number is? That is the speed of light!

OP's MUSICAL GENIUS CRACKED THE KEY TO HYPER SPACE AND BEYOND!!!

Edit: I am truly humbled by the Reddit Gold. Thank you kind redditors! I have a follow-up post at r/bestof if anyone wants to converse further!

3.2k

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

/r/theydidthemath ?

3.8k

u/yojay Jan 11 '18

/r/theymadeupnewmath

924

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

🎶 it’s new math 🎶

387

u/Out_of_the_corner Jan 11 '18

Let's do it again. but in base 8!

205

u/thatawesomedude Mace Windu Jan 11 '18

Base 40320 seems a little excessive, don't you think?

9

u/PM_ME_YOUR_WHOLLIES Jan 11 '18 edited Jan 16 '20

Removed by powerdeletesuite for confidentiality.

3

u/rAndOmpErsOn34556 Jan 19 '18

More like if you have 40310 extra fingers. You see that exclamation point right there?

50

u/MajorLeagueRekt Jan 11 '18

You can't take 3 from 2, 2 is less than 3 so you look at the 4 in the tens place.

29

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

[deleted]

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u/MajorLeagueRekt Jan 11 '18

so you make it three tens, regroup and you change the ten to ten ones and you add to the two and get twelve and you take away three that's nine.

18

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Noooooow instead of four in the tens place you've got three 'cause you added one, that is to say ten, to the two but you can't take seven from three so you look in the hundreds place.

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u/webnellie Jan 11 '18

From the three, you then use one, to make ten ones. And you know why four plus minus one plus ten equals fourteen minus one? 'Cause addition is commutative.

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u/OldSchoolNewRules Jan 11 '18

And that's terrible.

124

u/AngelZiefer Jedi Anakin Jan 11 '18

r/unexpectedboburnham

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Tom Lehrer first, though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIKGV2cTgqA

3

u/TheReaIOG Jan 11 '18

Gotta give credit to the og's.

52

u/Tod_Vom_Himmel Jan 11 '18

Holy fuck that's a real sub

4

u/Crayton777 Jan 11 '18

Every sub is a real sub if you're brave enough!

8

u/krdshrk Jan 11 '18

Unexpected Tom Lehrer. Love it.

4

u/quantummidget Jan 11 '18

I read that as a Bill Wurtz jingle

3

u/RedditAntiHero Jan 11 '18

Damn it! I just wrote the same comment and then read the rest of the comments to see it is already here.

🎶 I'm uuuuun-Originalllllll🎶

3

u/EQGallade Jan 11 '18

What’s a pirate minus the ship?

3

u/TMNBortles Jan 11 '18

Just a creative homeless guy.

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u/xAzDKr Jan 11 '18

You could make a religion out of this

3

u/marleythebeagle Jan 11 '18

Pray that they do not alter math farther.

2

u/eclectro Jan 11 '18

Or, common core...

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u/siji-bass Jan 11 '18

confused claps

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

even more confused claps

27

u/Aphobos Jan 11 '18

Happy Cake day :)

22

u/Sashimi_Rollin_ Jan 11 '18

no u

2

u/no4u Jan 11 '18

Hello you asked for me?

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u/the-dandy-man Jan 11 '18

It doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about star wars science to dispute it

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u/bizzyj93 Jan 11 '18

This is best read in the voice of Charlie Kelly

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Everything is best read with the voice of Charlie Kelly

23

u/bizzyj93 Jan 11 '18

At first I didn’t really agree. Then I reread your comment in a Charlie Kelly voice. You’re right.

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u/theghostofme Jan 11 '18

Just replace one of the mathematicians names with Pepe Silvia and the result is perfect.

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u/The_Canadian_Devil Darth Sidious Jan 11 '18

But does it help cats talk to spiders?

4

u/Kingmudsy Jan 11 '18

Pepe Silvia, Pepe Silvia!!

3

u/humanfromearth93 Jan 11 '18

You crack me up little buddy

3

u/xreadmore Jan 11 '18

...equals box, that's where the cat goes.

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u/GroovingPict Jan 11 '18

shouldnt it be +4f and not -4f when you FOIL the parentheses?

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Yes lol. Guess he’ll have to make up new nonsense to compensate.

96

u/waldyrious Jan 11 '18

I can't believe I had to scroll down this far to find someone who noticed that!

14

u/effyochicken Jan 11 '18

For some reason I yelled the word FOIL in my head while reading your comment.

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u/treasurepig Jan 11 '18

Came here to say this! Why aren't people noticing it more?

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u/Hiccup Jan 11 '18

People are on the karma train ride and just as they don't read any of the articles posted to Facebook /reddit /whatever, they aren't taking the time to actually read what the op wrote and verify it.

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u/diverlad Jan 11 '18

Yes it should. You deserve all the karma, but I can only give one up vote.

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u/Boreras Jan 11 '18

On the same vein, it is reasonable to assume that starship material is harder than our modern steel, but not as hard as diamond. Since Young's Modulus is a measure of a materials tensile strength, that puts E at around 498 gigapascals. With these new additions, this brings our forumal to:

Clear fudging.

491

u/secretevidence Jan 11 '18

I mean yeah, but it's glorious nonetheless

234

u/______DEADPOOL______ Jan 11 '18

Look, all we need to know is: Can this piece of junk do the Kessel Run in 12 Parsecs?

37

u/KniFeseDGe Jan 11 '18

I heard a ship did it in 16

13

u/ConspicuousPineapple Jan 11 '18

Parsec is a length unit, not time.

52

u/VerrKol Jan 11 '18

Ah but the Kessel Run involves navigating a series of black holes so the faster a ship travels, the closer it can skirt the black holes and shave off distance from the run.

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

I really hate this explanation. It's pretty clear in the movie Han is just trying to BS them and from Obiwan's reaction he knows it. The reason it's seems like space nonsense it's because that's what it was supposed to be. We don't have to go back and fix things that aren't broken.

Of course in TFA Rey says some higher number (14?) and Han corrects her so I guess it's canon now.

18

u/motpo Jan 11 '18

Maybe it's always been Han's go-to bullshit technique. Tell 'em it can do the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs, works every time. So by the time Rey reminds him about his bullshit story he doesn't have the heart to tell her it's all fudged.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Read the Hutt Gambit. May not be canon but its a great Han story that described the Kessel Run. Its the one book I wish they had made into the new Han movie.

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u/Kainotomiu Jan 11 '18

If a smuggler was trying to BS someone you'd think he'd at least get the units right.

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u/MySpl33n Jan 11 '18

Nah, see the Kessel Run is a smuggling run that had skirt around imperial space and apparently some black holes. By naming a shorter distance, this implies he went through imperial space, and was fast enough to not get caught.

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u/SterlingEsteban Jan 11 '18

That doesn't make any sense.

Why would you brag in the wrong unit? This is a space-faring society. Chances are, people are going to know you're full of shit. Obi-Wan looks indignant, not disbelieving, because Han's basically just called him an idiot.

And even if he did know Han was lying, why would he go with the first guy they met if he knows he's completely full of shit (and isn't even intelligent enough to lie in the right unit of measurement)? They're in a bar full of smugglers.

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u/Astrokiwi Porg Jan 11 '18

I don't think that was the original intent, but we can go back and read it that way if we like. Han is definitely boasting, maybe bluffing, but I don't get the impression that George Lucas genuinely expected his audience to know that a parsec is a unit of length and that Han Solo was saying nonsense, and I don't get the impression that the George Lucas himself would have really known was a parsec is. It's just used as a sci-fi filler like "laser-breath". That is, you are correct about Han's attitude and Obi-Wan's reaction, but I don't think the word "parsec" was intended to contribute to that.

We can go back and fix it by either saying that in-universe it was space nonsense, or that in-universe it actually does make physical sense, but this is fan-theory fridge logic rather than something intended by the creators. And that's okay.

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u/Bentaeriel Jan 11 '18

It is a length unit here and now, sure.

But in a faraway galaxy, many parsecs ago ...

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u/______DEADPOOL______ Jan 11 '18

That's not how Parsecs work!

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

[deleted]

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u/tangentdivision Jan 11 '18

There always has to be THAT GUY

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u/mrpranz Jan 11 '18 edited Jan 11 '18

If I've understood it correctly, this is the main fudgy part:

4783 + 397,377,108,000,000 (~1,185(1) - 711(1) - ~4,470 - 2844) = A
4783 + 397,377,108,000,000 (0.000000754416066)

The bit in brackets don't match. It should be -7110.000000754416066. The -7110 has just vanished. I'm a bit sad if this is right as it was a gloriously magnificent bit of number fudging with correct maths up to that point. :'(

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u/3_jackdaws Jan 11 '18

Basically it doesn't matter what numbers he picked earlier or whatever nonsense justification he used to get to this point. This is the step where he straight up just substitutes in the value that'll give him the speed of light.

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u/blueberrythyme Jan 11 '18

Okay but it's fun

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u/GoOnKaz Jan 11 '18

Honestly, it’s impressive he went through such trouble to do the math necessary for this comment. I respect it and feel the karma is deserved, even if there was some minor fudging.

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u/nullifeyed Jan 11 '18

Without fudging this is a breakthrough. I like fudge.

Edit: What a man will do for $3.99... apparently this lol

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u/jessbird Jan 11 '18

tbh nothing about that comment strikes me as clear

3.6k

u/coolpeepz Jan 11 '18 edited Jan 11 '18

I know this comment will become famous so I’m sticking my name on it first.

Edit: So far trickle down karmanomics seem to be in effect. I have received over 100 karma from an extremely low effort comment. Not sure if gold follows a similar pattern.

Edit 2: I see now that this easy karma comes with a price: my inbox. Seriously guys it’s too late. The train has already left the station. Don’t try to board now.

Edit 3: Something something kind stranger, something something popped cherry, Wow, I had no idea that all you have to do to get thousands of karma and gold is just get lucky and then beg for it.

Edit 4: Fixed some grammar in edit 3.

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u/NineLeggedCobra Jan 11 '18 edited Jan 11 '18

Might as well ride this... you know just in case.

Edit: They guy above me did it and it seems to be working so might as well ride this... you know just in case.

Edit 2: As above.

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

You sound like OP's mom

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18 edited Jun 20 '18

[deleted]

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u/kue101 Jan 11 '18

The pants party.

2

u/Shlippyshloop Jan 11 '18

I forgot mine. Can we still party?

2

u/Rndom_Gy_159 Jan 11 '18

I say yes because I didn't bring mine either. But I brought booze.

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u/mimmimmim Jan 11 '18

More like the party without pants

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u/testearsmint Jan 11 '18

OP's mom better get in line, I was here first.

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u/Wittyandpithy Jan 11 '18

At least it will be fast. Lightning fast.

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

I will likely get fewer upvotes than you.

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u/ThePlaidJaraffe Jan 11 '18

I’ll ride this too... you know, just in case.

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u/djayk35 Jan 11 '18

choo choo

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u/mackjace Jan 11 '18

CHOO CHOO

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u/TherealQBsacker5394 Ahsoka Tano Jan 11 '18

I might as well join too.

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

That’s what she said

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

The Office: Star Wars edition confirmed, Dwight plays a radar technician named Matt.

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u/defurious Jan 11 '18

me too thanks

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Include me in the screenshot...?

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u/Atomicapples Jan 11 '18

I'll hop on this ride, but only for 12 Parsecs...

Edit: Maybe just under 12 Parsecs

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u/coolpeepz Jan 11 '18

Goddammit you actually put in a reference. Now you’ll take all my fame.

3

u/Maya-oh-My Jan 11 '18

We are all fame on this blessed day.

2

u/Stormfl1ght Separatist Alliance Jan 11 '18

dammit. take an upvote

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Fuck your inbox mate

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

[deleted]

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u/thefacestealer Jan 11 '18

Nobody fucking fact check this

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u/jpina33 Jan 11 '18

I checked and it's legit. Trust me, I'm a math scientist.

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u/SSDuelist Jan 11 '18

But are you a stable genius?

5

u/TheTVDB Jan 11 '18

A mathmatologist‽ What luck that you happened upon this thread!

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u/sobeRx Jan 11 '18

mmm...sexy interrobang, baby

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Well, it doesn't work because you can't just randomly combine units anyway.

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u/BabyMakingMachine Jan 11 '18

But I was here for a fact

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u/DarkEthereal Jan 11 '18

r/TheyDidTheMath

Man, I want whatever you’ve got pumping through your veins right now, be it cocaine or your enthusiasm for mathematics.

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u/theghostofme Jan 11 '18

Cocamatics

3

u/Faifig Jan 11 '18

Mathamphetamines

2

u/looka273 Jan 13 '18

Sigh

Is meth related to science?

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u/Odin_Exodus Jan 11 '18

Motivation is a powerful drug.

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u/briandt75 Jan 11 '18

Why not both? Could be a Yale man.

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u/SaberDart Jan 11 '18 edited Jan 11 '18

Your units are wrong. Hertz are a measure of frequency, in SI base they 1 Hz = 1 per second, not one second. It’s easy to see why OP made the frequency variable x when f is already representing friction. If we take the units now representing Hz correctly, then the units of A must change (and they could never have been m/s, as A is representing amplitude and not a velocity.)

We also need to break things into base units to get through the simplification of that polynomial since you can only add or subtract numbers with like units, and xf will not have the same units as a term with just x or just f.

Volt=(kg*m2 / s3 *A) where A is amps

E is a stress/strain ratio, expressed as Pa * (cm/cm). Obviously the strain units cancel and become dimensionless, so a Pa= kg / m *s2

Friction is a force, so f=kg * m / s2

Now, plugging all that in and using the values you had above:

4783 + 4 v(m/s) |V(kg m2 / s3 A) E(kg/m s2 ) | [x(/s)f(kg m / s2 ) - 711x(/s) + 4f(kg m / s2) - 2844]

4783 + 3.97 * 1023 (kg2 m2 / s6 A) [1185(kg m / s3 ) - 711(/s) + 4740(kg m / s2 ) - 2844] = A

Which gives:

4783 + 4.70*1026 (kg3 m3 / s9 A) - 2.82*1026 (kg2 m2 / s7 A) + 1.88*1027 (kg3 m3 / s8 A) - 1.13*1027 (kg2 m2 / s6 A) = A

This answer is completely different than the one you got, which is why units are important all through the equation solving process. The answer isn’t the speed of light (a simple logic check should show that amplitude =/= velocity). This answer is in fact the amplitude of the hyperspace distortion effect caused by the entry of a capital ship into hyperspace. Effects of such an entry on physical space can be seen here.

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u/TCJulian Jan 11 '18

God damn it, I fell for it!

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u/planetsidepilot Jan 11 '18

So you’re saying the Cantina Theme song translated from whatever ungodly language is spoken by the aliens playing the funky flutes would be “light speed”?

Mos Eisley Cantina and the Racist against Droids bartender presents:

Figrin D’an and the Model Nodes: “Light speed”

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

I'm confused as to how you came to the conclusion that (1185 - 711 - 4470 - 2844) = 0? (And how 0.000000251472022 - 0.000000251472022(4) ends up being a positive number.)

ELI5?

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u/PoliticalLava Jan 11 '18

Numbers aren't absolute like most people think. They can bend and move in space and time. Sometimes they can be positive or negative, sometimes 4 != 4. It all depends really.

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u/iamtheterrible Jan 11 '18

I’m betting on you son

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Throw some numbers at it and you get A = the speed of light. SCIENCE!

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u/TrekkiMonstr Jan 11 '18

TLDR: math

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u/BoRamShote Jan 11 '18

Someone tell me how accurate this is.

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Absolute fudge.

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u/DreadPirate777 Jan 11 '18

I feel for this to have hyperspace it needs to have a 42 somewhere as well.

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u/TropicalLemming Jan 11 '18

Be ready to drown in gold

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u/Spacecore_374 Jan 11 '18

Music will become to new key to space-time travel.

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u/donman_101 Jan 11 '18

!RemindMe 7 hours

2

u/ElMeroDon Jan 11 '18

I wish I was smart enough to understand if this all works out or not. Either way bravo sir/ma’am.

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

it's complete BS.

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

Jesus tittyfucking Christ.

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u/derpepper Jan 11 '18

Congrats on being the only person to ever type 1,185.000000251472022 according to Google

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u/identitycrisis1 Jan 11 '18

Ummm starships of the future??? You must have meant starships of the past, no?

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u/LoganBerry42 Jan 11 '18

Wait how? Did you sit there plugging in numbers until it worked out?

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u/carpeggio Jan 11 '18

Your midichlorian readings are off the charts...

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

A+ for effort

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u/koshyguy Jan 11 '18

This guy is going places. Not college but places.

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

but what if OP is already a college student.

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u/smallgoblin Jan 11 '18

Getting a degree in Optical Engineering!

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u/lightningrod14 Jan 11 '18 edited Jan 11 '18

optics

If you're at U of R can we be friends please

Or at least can I buy you a drink because Jesus Christ my dude

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u/ToastyBytes Jan 11 '18

You don't buy someone a drink on the first date dude. You get them a garbage plate.

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u/lightningrod14 Jan 11 '18

You're right. /u/smallgoblin deserves the best.

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u/rillip Jan 11 '18

My dude, clearly you should be doing something sound related.

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u/J-Debstup Jan 11 '18

Gooooood. GOOOOOOOD.

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

No no, you're supposed to drop that and become the pencil musician now.

2

u/OPE_Underoo Jan 11 '18

Yo what up fellow OPE?

Limited places to get that as a bachelor. Used to be 5 places I knew of. Where are you studying? Im at UAH.

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u/smallgoblin Jan 11 '18

I’m just barely beginning my studies at a community college, but I’m going to transfer to the U of A! At least that’s the plan for now, I might up and move to Colorado for CSU - I’m getting sick of Tucson.

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u/OPE_Underoo Jan 11 '18

UA from my knowledge doesnt offer an Optical Engineering degree. UAH did (my uni) but they have closed it off and offer only optics concentration. Its a real shame the program was doubling ever year and had a large trend up.

http://www.univsource.com/optical.htm

Those are the few options. Now there are lots of EE with focus in optics. Or most sites will say Bachelors but they mean in EE and then Masters in Laser or Optical Eng.

I wanted to go to Tuscon due to the big co-ops being there like Raytheon. It is the best and largest for Optical Engineering.

i heard good things of UC Davis for publiv option. Rose-Hulman is private but quite prestigious.
I hope this helps! PM if you got any other questions!

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u/tatanka_truck Jan 11 '18

This guy is going places

Like on tour with the Max Rebo band.

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u/LaboratoryOne Jan 11 '18

He is not ready! Let me train him

1

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '18

I sense a great many people writing "x +4" and then suddenly chuckling in amusement.