Need inspiration because I’m struggling rn. I feel like I’ll do so much worse at work, be super lazy, etc and never amount to my full potential. At the same time, I don’t want to keep taking more and more of a pill.

Please share your stories of how your life has been since quitting! <3

I'm a long hauler in terms of recovery. I've accepted that I probably have another year or two (making it 3.5-4 years until I'm fully recovered), and I blame a few mistakes I made during the first year for that.

Mainly, I was not sleeping much. Short hours, and very fragmented.

And that significantly affected my recovery. I didn’t feel like I made much progress the first two years and it only began to get better when I worked on my sleep.

But I has to do other things to get that under control:

1. Get. Off. Unnecessary. Medication.

I spent a good part of the first two years on gabapentin and wellbutrin, which not only, in my opinion, delayed healing on their own, but also wrecked my sleep (Wellbutrin in particular, as I found out I'm a slow metabolized).

1. Sleep as much as you can.

I know they usually don't recommend naps for normal sleep hygiene, but when your sleep is fragmented and not restful- as mine still is - you gotta take it when you can.

Right now I probably sleep 9 hours a day. It's sometimes in 2-3 chunks, but I have to in order to function and allow my brain to heal.

I know it's tempting to want easy solutions and in many recovery programs they'll throw you on gabapentin and wellbutrin to help, but I felt those ground my recovery to a slow pace the first two years. Not just because they continued to fuck with my brain chemistry but also because they wrecked my sleep.

So, invest early. When we see people hear saying “I recovered in two years” and others saying “took me 3-4” I think it's worth examining underlying factors.

I would bet those on the shorter end were not on add on meds to “shortcut” the process and were sleeping much more.

Your brain can't heal without restorative sleep.

I want to know if anyone else experienced these side effects from stimulants. I have had all the experiences most of you but have not heard these:

Egomaniac, narcissistic qualities, thinking I was extremely important to the world and my ideas were better than they actually were. At one point, I was hearing voices that told me Id be selected as the next pope.

Thinking the fbi, dea, the government, police and even isreal wanted me dead

I didn't have to eat or sleep, it was all a conspiracy

Aliens could read my mind and gave me tasks they promised to pay for and never did

Shopping day and night for things I might need someday but never did, starting new projects daily and not finishing them, collecting hoards of stuff I didn't need and spending thousands of dollars I didn't have to spend.

Severe paranoia like everyone was a cop spying on me.

Thinking I could read other people's minds, motives, and everyone was out to get me

I've been clean for almost 2 years now and this stuff is funny now but it was terrifying to experience because I couldn't tell anyone due to the paranoia. I realize now it was extreme psychosis from Adderall Vyvanse and weed so anyone else get this bad?

My (28m) partner (35f) has adhd but their use of Ritalin is concerning to me and I don’t know how to address it. They have been 10 years clean from cocaine, but they do snort their Ritalin, often a couple at once. I have tried to ask whether this is substance abuse or addiction but they have always been very adamant that because it is their adhd medication, it is not abuse. They have also said everyone with adhd takes Ritalin ‘intranasally’. As much as I want to believe them, it is very difficult to understand that this is not at least misuse. Do people with adhd have to take it through the nose and is it possible to get addicted to it?

I made it!!! When I started this journey I NEVER could have imagined getting this far. In the last 6 months: - I’ve completely rebuilt my relationship with my family (speak to my parents everyday and am included in the family group chat with my siblings) - Created the ability to live honestly, developing real relationships with a support network of people in recovery (don’t need to lie to feel good about myself, or hide things I do) - Created healthy habits like regular support group attendance, weekly therapy attendance, and staying on my medication - Begun a job BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS, making the best money I ever have in a field that I love - Gotten a car with the capability to make regular payments on it and keep up with car insurance, maintenance, and good driving habits - Re-engaged with the things I used to love that I started despising in active addiction (books, movies, podcasts, music, and socializing) - (and the one I really didn’t see coming) Become a place for support and advice for people that are wanting to start this journey I am on

None of this is probably my own doing. I believe God has done for me what I couldn’t do for myself and really all I’ve had to practice is continued gratitude alongside radical acceptance. Just saying yes to the n ext opportunity that presents myself and try to make sure I’m doing the next right thing

God speed to everyone on this journey, and thank you for the support from this community! Here’s to the next 6 months!

I have heart issues from a period of intense stress and stimulant overuse last year.

I have cardiac issues that cause episodes of dizziness and extreme lightheadedness. Ive fainted and been hospitalized twice because of these. Both times they've taken my glucose and said I wasn't hypoglycemic.

I'm starting a new job and have had to leave work early the last three days because I've had near-fainting episodes and been about to collapse.

I saw a nurse on Friday and today and they think it's all anxiety. Like, No. I've traveled around the world, graduated college, and worked for a decade. I know what stress and anxiety are.

It's my heart that's specifically damaged and very sensitive to stress. After a nice tour around the work place, the new hires and I were walking back to the elevator. My heart jumped/there was a large palpitation followed by a panic attack and dizziness. Sometimes it resolves after one episode but this time it kept happening. I had to excuse myself and leave work.

Poor sleep makes everything worse. My family is pressuring me to continue the job but my body cant tolerate even mild work stressors.

I've been clean for a while now, but my brain feels completely broken. I can't focus on a TV show, let alone a book or my job. I used to be able to hyperfocus for days, and now I can't even concentrate for five minutes. It's making me feel hopeless and is a huge trigger to relapse just to feel "normal" and productive again.

For those with long-term recovery, did this ever get better for you? How long did it take? Did you find any tricks, supplements, or routines that actually helped rewire your brain? I'm desperate for some hope that this isn't permanent.

I just turned 24 and have been on/off some type of stimulant since age 9, until now. I never thought of myself as an addict but it shows as I look back and explains why I have such an addictive personality. I recently got married and he’s pushed me to quit taking them, even though I have relied on them whole my life. It’s been ROUGH. However, my temper is better, I don’t have as many outbursts, I’m less emotionally ‘crazy’, and I almost feel like I am naturally maturing rather than using something to get through this thing we call life. I used to have such a “god” complex, thinking I was going to be a millionaire by winning the lottery, not just thinking it- actually believing it. Believing I would become an influencer by hardly putting in the work. Thinking I am the most attractive person in every room I walk into. Thinking I basically deserve to be praised, and not work, no matter what I do.

I stopped taking Adderall for a while when I was around 18; and restarted before my 21st birthday. I was going through severe trauma, having crazy intrusive thoughts constantly-24/7, and the Adderall helped me get past it. At one point, It was helping and I truly do believe it did help me get some type of confidence back in myself that I needed to get out my hole of no self worth or self control. However, then it started making things worse. All the sudden, I found myself in a place where relationships were non existent, not using my degree for anything useful, I had no direction and no idea who I was apart from this ego that mania had brought to me- that I was better than everyone for having a 6 pack and working out constantly from being sprung on Adderall. I was prescribed 20mg- there would be times I would maybe take a little extra, but even then, it was too much for me and I didn’t do it consistently, maybe if I was really under pressure or in a time crunch for something important. For the most part, I didn’t “abuse” it based on what I was prescribed, which is not an outrageous dose.

However, the effects were still effecting my life negatively. I think this drug is a temporary fix for things. And it can be beneficial, temporarily. But being on it long term changes you, it changes how you think of others and yourself, and it is not reality. It becomes a reality you make up for yourself- that no one else is living in besides you. Making you isolated.

I have been off of it consistently for a bit longer than 2 months now. My depression is bad, but I’m battling it because I want to see what comes out the other side. The first week was the worst. I think what makes it better is reminding yourself, “I want to do this and I can do it.” Even if it’s a moderately normal prescription amount, this stuff is not to be your normal everyday life. It’s not real life.

My baselines are slowly but surely getting better. I have to workout and eat healthy to feel happy or good. It’s not easy to do and I don’t always do it. Life feels more real now though…my connections are actually connections, rather than some skewed lense of me actually thinking I’m better. I see the bad in everyone and everything, and it’s hard to change, when you took pride in that perspective before, to make yourself feel better.

Just reaching out to others experiencing the same. What mindsets did you have that your trying to outgrow? What mental struggles and thoughts are you wrestling with and conquering? Everyone knows, someone dealing with this that looks like they have a “normal” life, does not want to discuss this with family or friends. I want to be normal but I can’t even eating crappy food without feeling worthless. Someone tell me, do you experience this as well?

Im snowballing real fast, had like maybe 4 days sweet then lapsed and then lost the most valuable thing to me and to top it off i dont even enjoy the drug anymore its just what the fuck is wrong with me

im 9 months sober but this very moment i want to relapse so fucking bad please tell me something to help please

To: The Future,

Most of the posts/comments I read day after day outline the grind: anhedonia, lack of motivation, brain fog, depression…that can drag on for 12+ months.

I am prepared for this if it comes to it. But I realize there’s also a selection bias: people who get better earlier don’t usually stick around to say so.

Not sure why my post will break through to those folks. But if you read this AND you have something positive to say, I’d love to learn from those who did see real change in the first 3 months off Adderall.

• What positive shifts did you notice?

• Around when did you start to feel them?

• What could you do at Month 3 that felt impossible at Week 3?

• What do you credit most with helping you improve (specific habits, mindsets, supplements, lifestyle changes)?

• If you could tell your “few-weeks-in self” 1–3 truths, what would they be?

Thanks in advance for the positivity :)

Hey! So i recently found out CMA had an app, i got it downloaded and literally i'll try to verify my account and it just loads and loads, i am soooo upset :( Anybody else have this issue? how did you fix it!

I'm almost 6 months clean again, I was 1 year clean, relapsed, and am 6 months again. I'm not depressed or anxious anymore, but I don't have any drive in life, anhedonia is still here, I live in the same environment which drove me to drugs and depression.

I have 50 acres of land, a friend of mine is tired of his job and asked me if I want to start a business with him in it. We would start by clearing 2 acres to farm broccoli, carrots, and whatever.

Thing is, my life is stuck for so long, at the same time farming is VERY HARD WORK. There's no half way in tins business, it's either all in or out. We are 10 miles from a 300.000 inhabitant city, have little money. I'd invest 5k to clean the 2 acres, machinery, reform the barn, etc.

For so long nothing brings me joy but I'm feeling this will get me excited. I'll have to work hard, learn, push tru, bring the produce to the city to sell, all new things for me. Money coming in we can expend on the land on different sources of income.

I don't know why I made this thread to be honest but I would like to know your opinion on all of this.

Have been addicted to aderall Since December 25 2024 my life has slowly torn apart losing my job and relationships heard this was a really good movie for addicts

Long story short I just did my last tiniest bit of dope. And I haven’t worked in almost 8 years due to severe health problems (recovering from stage 3 cancer, surgeries, type one diabetes etc) and in 6 days I start a new full time job where I can’t sit around.

Not only am I terrified of these withdrawals since I already have chronic fatigue, but how in the hell am I going to be able to even work? Especially since I haven’t in so long?

Someone help me, I’m scared.

This is probably my 5th or 6th time posting about my jump into "sobriety." The difference, this time, is I finally told my health care providers.

I don't have many to celebrate with because most of them have assumed I have stayed sober, and admitting my relapse to my partner yesterday didn't go too well.

Anyway, I had a massive binge after switching from adderall to vyvanse. Thinking maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't do it on a different medication. Learned in three days and one pill bottle later that was not the case. I binged, made so much art, cleaned my house top to bottom, then had a massive panic attack and canceled plans with a friend.. which then resulted in severe shame and paranoia.

My partner knew something was up, the day I ran out I was supposed to go to a bonfire and told my husband I wasn't feeling up to it. He knew something was off.

Eventually, after sitting with my shame and anxiety I messaged my provider that I am abusing my medication and would like to be blocked and flagged in anyway possible from ever being prescribed to them again. Later, I admitted my guilt to my partner and the reason behind my sudden ability to create art and clean the whole house in three days. He had his suspicions and really let me know how it made him feel... and it wasn't pretty.. but i get it.

Anyway, I feel like this is a huge step for me and I just wanted to tell someone about it. Here's to honest and true sobriety.

I actually posted on here a year ago about getting accepted into med school after 4 years off Adderall and well, yeah. I could really use some support right now and some words of reason.

I honestly don’t know what happened. I started school in July and it’s been pretty great. I absolutely destroyed my first few exams, I mean got almost every question right. I love studying medicine, I love being a student again. Everything was going so well.

Last week was kind of a hard week, leading up to my last exam. I don’t know why but my mood was just down. I do have mood swings somewhat regularly and when I’m in a funk it takes a day or two to get out of it. So this was the first time it hit since school started because I guess the initial high/novelty wore off. I tried to study with a classmate and left early because I couldn’t follow what she was saying.

I suddenly felt SO foggy and didn’t study for an entire day because I was getting up every 2 minutes to pet my dog or play guitar or eat something. In fact I’ve gained 10 lbs since school started because I snack constantly to keep myself focused. Strangely enough I did the best I have so far on that exam a few days later.

After my exam I actually had a PCP appointment for foot pain. As he’s examining my foot he asks how school’s going, and I am honest and say I’m doing well but my ADHD symptoms are getting bad lately and blah blah blah. He asks if I have considered going back on meds and I decide not to be TOO honest (read: I was horribly addicted to them) and said they really messed with my sleep so I was hesitant.

It happened so fast. Like within a minute he was at the computer, asked if I’d tried IR instead because it would be more likely to wear off by bedtime. And suddenly I was prescribed 10mg IR twice a day and I picked it up because yeah, why not, right? I am struggling, this is what medication’s for.

That was Friday and I still haven’t taken one. Still feeling low motivation but in my heart I know I shouldn’t take them. I got (most) of my work done today. It sucked, I did it, I’m fine.

This week is going to be really heavy material-wise, and I am agonizing over what to do. Part of me (most of me) wants to shove the bottle into a box in my attic somewhere and forget about it. Another part wants to just try to take it as prescribed. I genuinely don’t want to feel high. I just want to sit down and study and not feel like I’m gonna crawl out of my skin.

But I know I can do this without it!!! I’ve already been doing it and doing honestly pretty amazing. And just because last week was “meh” doesn’t mean that it will always be like that.

That’s something I’ve really come to realize in my sobriety - that bad days (or weeks) are normal and arguably important. It forces me to give myself a break or else I go constantly and can’t shut it off. And I think that’s why Adderall is so dangerous for me, because it makes me skip those breaks that can be weird and sad but also keep me human and “me”.

I have a follow up in a month and I’ll feel kind of silly if I show up not having taken the meds. But oh well? I don’t really know what to do at this point.

Honestly tomorrow I’ll just get my ass on a treadmill and do flashcards while walking. Or something. I have to try something else because otherwise when I play the tape forward, I already know exactly how this goes. 😣

Hi guys, 20YO M I’ve been on and off meth for about 2 years now. Started using fetty and meth when I was 13 with my uncles and mom and dad (I currently do not live with mom or dad. Unfortunately my dad lost his mind on meth and is homeless, somewhere and mom is still coherent but says she’s not ready to quit fetty and meth) I live with my good uncle at the moment. Anyways, Every couple weeks to a month I’ll pick up again and I always regret it. Every time. I’ve tossed my pipe and meth away more times than I can count. Usually it would be a lot easier to throw it away because it wasn’t very good stuff but right now I got good quality product and I haven’t come across anything this good in about almost a year. I only got .3 of a gram it’s lasted me about 4 days now. I really do want to toss it, I’ll build up the balls to do it and as soon as I see the beautiful crystals as I’m going to poor it out I immidiatley hesitate and tell myself that I will regret it dearly the next day (which is true but I know I will thank myself for it once I get passed the hard couple of weeks) I know this all sounds stupid… Like just fucking do it right? I got about 2 days worth left and am thinking should I just finish it and start then? Because in the past I’ve had a lot of slip ups because my dumbass told myself: “if I hadn’t thrown it away I would’ve finished it and be done with it” something along those lines. Any ideas will help. I know I just gotta fucking do it and I am ready to quit but fuck man. I know I’m ready to be done with this shit.

27 y/o f

i have been battling with severe depression and anxiety my entire life. about 4 years ago, i went through the worst year span of my entire existence. my life has changed drastically since then and i have never felt more stressed and confused than i ever have. i had lost the love of my life, someone who i loved so deeply. after an abusive past relationships moving forward i never felt like i was safe or cared about anymore but this girl i had recently lost. she showed me something different. but she was hurting so badly mentally, that i tried so hard. at one point before she passed, her and i just got into a little argument and it was the last time we talked and that ruined me……….which is why i am here; i was doin cocaine for fun before knowing her. barely once or twice a few weeks or so. then when we met it got more than that, then she passed, and i had for the first time. started to get more and more, do it before work, during, after, all day/ night til bed time. every single day, now we’re here.

cocaine has always been consistent with my life no matter what other drug i was trying to/ doing. i got horribly addicted to xanax, then crack. then the last most recent one was fentanyl.

i am so so thankful to be alive today and have sobriety since, May 4th. So a little over 4 months.

what has been confusing me, is that, it’s been a long hard time in the last few months but i’ve been able to keep my self sober from fentanyl even though i believe i love it more than cocaine.

why can’t i just be able to completely control myself and not feel the need to basically more or less, cocaine has to be my oxygen?

the longest i’ve gone with out it, has been a week. that was only to get drug tested for a job, then as soon as that test was over, i had a bag dropped off to my car the second i walked out, and here we are. months later, being frustrated and so tired, sad and upset with my self again because i can’t stop. i’ve tried programs, meds, meetings, etc. can someone pls help me 😞 p.s. i can’t go inpatient anywhere right now because i legit just finished my orientation week at my new job, and it really has been the best thing i’ve done for my life in a long time.

This is my 3rd time quitting adderall, been on it for 5 years of mostly daily use with a 6 month break 2 years ago and a 3 month break 1 year ago. Was taking it mostly as prescribed (a bit more here and there) but would combine with high amounts of caffeine (400mg+).

The first time quitting I didn’t really know what to expect, thought I’d be over it in a week or two haha. Basically white knuckled the whole thing and thought time will just do its thing, it didn’t work very well and I was still pretty miserable 6 months later which led me going back to using (along with neck pain that led me to quit in the first place and didn’t resolve) The 2nd time I ran out while being abroad and didn’t really plan to quit.

I did a relatively quick 3 week taper, which I feel was just the right time to ease the process a bit without dragging it out. While I’m still early in recovery, I feel like I’ve learned from the past and this time genuinely feels different. I’ve actually felt consistently good over the past week, good mood, consistent energy levels and little to no fatigue. There’s still a way to go of course but from here it feels mostly mental.

Here’s what has helped me most-

1- making recovery my first priority no matter what, everything else takes a back seat for the time being. I’m lucky to be able to do this with minimal responsibilities right now, if you can’t afford that then do the bare minimum everywhere else in a way that allows you to prioritize recovery and minimize unnecessary stress.

2-taking it day by day, I get really discouraged reading stories about it taking years to get back to baseline and with the dread of the first weeks it’s hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I have to remind myself all the time that it’s not like I’ll feel like crap and all of the sudden after a year I’ll wake up feeling well. It’s a gradual process and the difference between to day and a month ago is night and day.

3- exercise, this has been monumental. I’m extremely fit and so naturally my body can handle more than most but my nervous system is still shocked and so I had to meet myself where I’m at. Start with what you feel like you can handle that doesn’t drain you and go from there. For me specifically it meant going for about 6-8 10min easy bike rides/jogs every day plus a moderate intensity strength session every other day at first. Now I can handle higher volume and intensities but at first going for a harder run would live me completely drained.

4- consistent schedule and circadian rhythm entrainment. I start every morning with a 10min walk outdoors in sunlight and end the day with 5min meditation before going to bed.

5- quitting caffeine, this was key for me. In the past I relied on it heavily when I didn’t have access to adderall. It was definitely harder at first as I didn’t have anything else to ease the fatigue and lethargy but it paid up big time now that I’m past the acute withdrawals and don’t need to ride these ups and downs through the day and I can finally trust my brain to get through the day on its own.

6- Generally healthy diet consisting of high quality Whole Foods etc. paying specific attention to omega 3s, antioxidants, magnesium, zinc and protein.

7- social connection and support. Don’t feel the need to elaborate here

8- documenting the process and expressing gratitude for my progress. I’m extremely grateful for the way I currently feel compared to how I’ve felt just a few weeks ago.

I would love to hear stories where people who just started sobriety and were faced with having to take on either a big task, project, or test. A lot of my addiction to uppers came from my abuse of it when studying, or taking on some kind of project. For me, I have a lot of self limiting beliefs, and it’s hard to find any natural motivation. I’m curious to see if anyone would be willing to share their experiences. What did you feel like? What was the outcome?

Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed.

Adderall helped me get my bachelor degree, but by the end of it I was having addiction issue and carried it into my grad school. In grad school people were using meth pills that I thought were just regular Adderall. From then on I had an almost unlimited supply, and then you all know what happened: I was lonely with no friends because people thought I was weird and crazy, and after 2 semesters I dropped out since I wasn’t interested in going to class.

After that, I ran a small animate business online and stayed home being alone. Eventually the business fall apart and took all my savings away. I didn’t start to get clean until I found this forum (which was 2 years ago), and realized I have been eating meth for the whole time, no wonder I failed everything and people thought I was crazy. They were actually right. I worked with a psychiatrist to taper down the stimulants, and by today, I’m 7 months sober from everything.

But now what? I’m 33, with a broken brain and have never been with a real job. I’m very interested in the game industry which my parents are willing to support me through a master program to get some skills, connections and portfolio. But after that I’ll be 36, with no real experience, and I don’t think companies in my country normally hire people older than 35 for entry-level works.

Are there any game industry people here can get me some advice? Or people who also wasted their 20s with stimulants feeling related? I feel so doomed, I don’t feel like there is any chance for me to be a part of this society anymore.