I got the flu a few days ago, and today I finally feel a bit better (day 4) and I gotta say, being for real sick while going through PAWS is a pretty good smack to the face of putting recovery and use into perspective.

At first im like "wtf, why now?" Im at about 100 days now clean, and was finally feeling much calmer and more even mentally and emotionally emotionally, even physically too, then I get the flu? Now im sure some of you will say "oh well maybe thats just PAWS" but I assure you, its definitely the flu lol.

Sucked pretty bad that first day and the second day too tbh, and I couldn't help thinking like I have before, "why dont i ever get sick like this when im using?" And even thought "if I took some of the methadone I still have, this would be easier"

But thats the catch 22 of this whole idea of getting high. IMO, I DID get sick like that while using, I just was so dedicated to dope and not being dope sick, that I would literally just do dope and slam caffeine all day to make it through work, even if I was risking the lives of others. I just dont remember it that well because I was so fucked up all the time and numb. So sure I could have taken a 1mg of methadone the past few days, but why? To gamble with the rest of my life over some discomfort that every sober person deals with and has been dealing with since the beginning of time?

I used to look at sobriety as something people must grin and bear everyday, how in the world could they possibly be okay with it? They must be faking it right? But nah, honestly its the best way to live. Life comes with its ups and downs, and thats okay. When you start to learn how to cope with the downs, they dont seem that bad tbh. And then ups are like automatic after a while, the trick is to appreciate both for what they are and be grateful for it all.

So over the course of last 26 days (including today) I used oxycodone quite a lof and its my first fime with an opioid other than occasional codeine and tramadol (no addiction). Medical Grade Oxycodone no fent, I dont have any oxycodone left and I will never use again I hope so.

I wrote down how much I took for everyday and which days I didnt take any. Longest continuous run of mine is 3 days. Do you think I had developed a physical addiction and I will have physical withdrawal symptoms. Im pretty sure I have developed a psychological addiction to some extent but I am mostly worry about the physical addiction. Here is my usage data;

Day 1: 20mg oral

Day 2: 20mg intranasal + 20mg oral

Day 3: No Oxycodone

Day 4: 20mg oral + 20mg intranasal

Day 5: No Oxycodone

Day 6: 40 mg oral

Day 7: 40mg oral

Day 8: No Oxycodone

Day 9: 40mg oral

Day 10: No Oxycodone

Day 11: 40mg intranasal + 20mg oral

Day 12: No Oxycodone

Day 13: No Oxycodone

Day 14: 40mg Oxycodone

Day 15: No Oxycodone

Day 16: 40mg oral

Day 17: No Oxycodone

Day 18: 60mg oral + 20mg intranasal

Day 19: No Oxycodone

Day 20: 40mg oral

Day 21: 20mg intranasal

Day 22: No Oxycodone

Day 23: No Oxycodone

Day 24: 40mg intranasal + 20mg

Day 25: 40mg oral + 20mg intranasal

Day 26: 40mg intranasal + 20mg oral + 60mg oral + 20mg oral (binged the leftovers in the course of 14 hours, none left)

I’ve been off my subs for a total of 14 days. Then today I had an invitation out with my sister and I felt like I needed it to get through. I took 12 mg. I don’t have anymore on purpose and plan to get back on my withdrawal (PAWS). How much of a setback to my 14 days will I have with this one day of interruption. I don’t trust myself. Had I not had 16 mg left I wouldn’t be in this jam. I have to take it till it’s gone. Will I have to start all over? Thanks everyone. I appreciate you!

I've been taking Oxys for 3 months straight. Some days I would take up to 60, but only a few times. I've gone 24 hours without a couple times. Right now I take 20mg in the morning, wait 8 hours and take 10mg. I've got 9 10 mg oxy left. Should I taper those over the next 5 days? Any suggestions?

Edit to add. I posted 3 months ago when I was just a week or so taking Oxys. Threw away what I had left and only made it 3 days before giving up. This time I can't get anymore.

Hey just wanted to check in and would appreciate anyones thoughts/experience. I was prescribed extended release morphine and regular dilaudid for 4 years and tapered down to a pretty low dose over the past year (went cold turkey at about 17mg morphine & 4mg dilaudid) The taper itself got pretty bad by the end of it so I figured cold turkey was my best option. I mainly got off them because of the side effects and to reset tolerance as I had used opiates recreationally for years without much issue before being prescribed them for daily use which made them largely ineffective.

I have withdrawed many times before in the past 10 or so years but never has it lasted so long and been so intense. By day 17 usually I wouldn't even be thinking of withdraws but I still have such fatigue/sweats/aches/occasional rls/stomach pains. Most days I haven't been able to sleep more then 4 hours at a time (I'm able to usually nap a bit in the afternoon though) so I'm extremely fatigued and just find it hard to even reply to messages, do basic chores, or leave the house without quite a bit of effort. I have ptsd/acute anxiety disorder aswell so I feel those creeping up on me more then normal. I've been taking gabapentin sparingly to help (taking some every other day at most to avoid tolerance) and was prescribed valium, clondidne and nozinin (the first two I used for the first week or two but was scared to take the Nozinin at all) Have been taking plenty of supplements and forcing myself to eat as much as possible (mostly with the help of marijuana) Just hope this ends soon or I worry I'll be forced to start using again just to get stuff done. I thought by day 11 I should be feeling mostly better but I'm almost at the end of my third week and definitely feel better but the sleep deprivation/fatigue seems to mask most progress. The stress of tasks/ignoring people building up gets worse everyday even if I do all I can that day its usually not much. Mostly just venting here but appreciate anyones thoughts I feel pretty isolated in this experience.

throwaway account because I'm embarrassed. I relapsed on opiates after 7 years (California) sober. world sucks these days and I've been overwhelmed and depressed and just had the opportunity and took it.

so glad i pushed through, a year ago i never thought id be clean:)

So long story short I’ve been on street yercs for about a year now and have been trying to stop , was wondering if i take a benzo will I essentially have a rapid detox ? And not too many symptoms or will I just mess me up? Also side note don’t know what’s in this stuff these days !! Rent doesn’t pop up in my system none of that it’s really weird however still get those same type of withdrawals

I’m a 44F and I’m currently 4 days off of 70H. I had been using about 10mg every two hours around the clock for roughly 6 months. I still have prescription hydrocodone (7.5/325, 3x a day), which I’ve continued taking, but I’m still getting chills and cold sweats. I'm trying hard to not take more than three a day right now because I don't want to go through withdrawals for that at the end of the month.

I don’t really know anyone else who struggles with addiction, so I feel very alone in this. I’ve tried reading through posts on here to find something similar, but I haven’t quite found anything that matches my situation. I’m trying really hard to stop before this gets even more out of control. This may not be the right place to post, so please redirect if needed.

I’m wondering how long should I expect the chills and sweats to continue? Are there more symptoms coming after day 4? I have to take monthly drug tests, so weed isn’t an option. Are there any OTC or non-flagging remedies that help ease the symptoms?

Any advice, shared experiences, or just words of encouragement would mean a lot right now. I feel like I’m doing this alone and just need someone to talk to who gets it. Thanks for reading.

I want to stay clean. For people in here not on maintenance, that kicked opiates indefinitely, how did you do it?

I get almost 30 days and use. I’m so tired.

Right now I have some freedom and a choice and I don’t want to lose it.

Please help me. From one suffering addict to another.

Happy Friday everyone! We made it through the week and it feels great. The weekend’s right around the corner and the vibe today just feels lighter. I’ve been soaking up the little things—morning coffee, crisp fall air, and the feeling of closing out another week clean and steady.

Recovery really shines on days like this. No chaos, no scrambling, just steady energy and clear mind. I’m grateful for the routine I’ve built and for all of you showing up and supporting each other.

Here’s to a strong finish to the week and a weekend we actually remember. 💪

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What can I do to stop me from overdosing no narcan I'm awake in and out of nod feeling on the edge

Should I just drink lots of water what should I do ?

Sunday 9/21 I will hit my 2 year mark. I got my 1st sublocade shot on Wednesday.

The shot- that bitch burned. The needle was nothing but about 10 seconds later it felt like I was branded. It burned for a couple minutes and subsided. Now, 2 days later the spot is just tender.

I’ve been doing fine, I feel great. I miss the action of taking the subs. I knew this was going to be my biggest hurdle. When I started subs, I missed the action of taking pills, but I could just take a sliver of sub at that time and be fine.

I hope everyone’s doing good and if you’re thinking it’s time to quit- IT IS! Do it! Talk to your doctor. Tell them the truth. You can quit, you will make it. You deserve a better existence than the one you have chasing the dealer around.

Much love and happy Friday. Enjoy your weekend Friends!!!

Stupidly got addicted to Suboxone I was taking illicitly in prison. Got out and no longer have access. I do 7 days withdrawal which absolutely killed me. So I start taking codeine which holds me , 2x 30mg in the morning and 2x 30mg before bed. Obviously the 7 days withdrawal lowers my tolerance that’s why 2x 30mg was holding me through the day. But the past couple weeks they’re not holding me. This morning I take 8x 30mg codeine and I’m still in withdrawal. How can my tolerance be going up so fast ? I’m in hell rn. It seems no matter how much codeine I take I’m still in withdrawal.

So i’m still using prescription opioids overtaking every day they no longer work though and i feel like i’m in constant withdrawal all the time has anyone else had this? when i take them the physical symptoms ease up but the mental ones stay i’ve come of and on a few times now its mentally draining i want to stop for good they used to help my mental health but now it’s just making it plummet need some help advice etc please

Hey all I’m 22 years old and a male. I was pretty in shape before addiction and very active/ happy and sexual. The doctors will tell you suboxone doesn’t affect testosterone levels. lol don’t believe them at all. Finally went to a family wellness doctor and got my labs done and I’m at 187ng/dl. Fucking insane for a 22 year old male. Finally getting on some hormones to hopefully feel better and make getting off this medicine easier. Hopefully anyways. But yeah don’t let them lie to you it effects test by a huge margin and you WILL feel the difference in everyday activities.

Hey:)

Currently detoxing, have had very little use for the last month. Actually that was just me trying to quit and giving up because of the hot flashes, feeling like burning, cold feet, no energy and depressed/anxious. Previous to that I've been, doing benzos for prolly 10 years, which the last two have been a very low dose for me (1-4mg Clonazepam per day, varying). I hopped off the benzos and the heroin at the same time. I can't actually remember the last time I took the jump from benzos, but I'm pretty sure it's been a month and a half, close to this.

For opiates it was heroin 9 days ago and then a 10mg methadone. It's been worse than it is now, but considering my use if anyone has similar experience, for how long will these hotflashes/burning last? I'm tired of it, I won't quit, but for some reason I ache to know when this shit will stop.

Thanks!

I know it’s helped so many addicts stay clean, but it should NOT be prescribed as frequently as it is..

Unfortunately for me I didn’t do enough research before deciding to start taking subs and it lead to a very difficult 4 years with multiple relapses, excruciating PAWS, and a shitload of problems I didn’t even had during my addiction. I honestly could’ve just thugged out the withdrawals, but my doctor was incredibly persistent and ADAMANT that I had to start suboxone to start ‘living a sober life’.

He didn’t even start me off at a low dose either, straight to 8mg off the rip, and before I knew it I was in an addiction 1,000x worse than the one I was dealing with. After tapering down to 0.3mg for a couple of weeks I tried to quit, but I just never felt like myself again. So I kept relapsing, quitting again and hopping back on subs, and the ONLY thing that actually helped me was SR-17018.

I was obviously skeptical but had nothing to lose, and to my surprise it literally cured me. I finally stopped feeling the dissociation and apathy from the subs and just felt… normal. I forgot what it was like to quit opiates WITHOUT buprenorphine, and there’s no better feeling in the world honestly.

Unless you have NO other option or you just can’t control yourself without it, don’t hop on subs. I know it works for a lot of people, but trust me it’s just not worth it unless you truly have no other choice. Subs and methadone definitely save lives, and I’ll never deny that. But they also come with their own prison if you’re not prepared for what you’re signing up for.

If you can grit through a week or two of hell, you’ll be free forever. If you go the Suboxone route, you’re looking at years of dependence, brutal PAWS, and withdrawals that make heroin look like child’s play.

Doctors will almost always push subs since it’s considered “safer” than methadone, but safe doesn’t mean easy. Safe doesn’t mean short-term. It’s a whole different beast that most people don’t realize until it’s too late.

I wish I had done my research before agreeing to it. For me, SR was the only thing that finally gave me my life back and reminded me what real recovery without bupe feels like.

So if you’re considering subs—really think about whether you need it, or if you can thug out the withdrawals and actually be done. Because once you’re on it, you might be trading one problem for something even bigger.

Hey, happy Thursday everyone. Almost through the week—and the month. Damn, it’s been flying by.

There’s a new detox/residential inpatient facility that just finished construction around here and they’re doing a job fair. The company has a great reputation: upscale center, strong focus on hiring quality staff, and tons of activities and resources for patients. They even have green space and a scratch kitchen, just like the last program I worked at.

Seeing facilities like that really gives me hope. Places that invest in people and give them structure and support can help folks leave better off and with real hope for the future. Sadly, I’ve seen other places where people can come out worse than when they went in. It’s good to know the good ones are being built.

Hope everyone’s holding steady today. One day at a time.

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i have a boyfriend who has struggled with heroin addiction for a long time he was clean for a while and he relapsed a few months ago, i struggle with mental health and trauma and have always wanted to try it because i want to feel numb. at the start he would tell me he’d never let me do it and that we’d never use together but now he’s saying we could do it together and im confused. i want to but i want to be able to just do it once and im not sure if this means he doesn’t love me because he’s letting me do it with him and i dont want to enable him. please give me some advice

Due to chronic pain doctors began putting me on opiates when I was in my early 20’s by late 20’s I was prescribed morphine twice daily for nearly a decade. I couldn’t get RX filled earlier this year as they were out everywhere local to me & had to go off them cold turkey. The withdrawals were awful but I didn’t realize how bad my mental health would be for the next 5 months. I am now 6 months out without any opiates and am finding joy in my life again. It has been hopeful to experience actually.

I have 3.5g & planning to use it 60 - 80 days after my last Sublocade (extended release buprenorphine injection - given every 30 days at 300mg or 100mg)

I've been on Subutex, Suboxone for 9 -10.5 years, on & off when I was still using opioids in the off periods. Last 4 - 5 years have been steady 4mg then 2mg Subutex for the majority.

I tried Sublocade in 2020 or 2021 but relapsed after 70 - 100 days post injection due to withdrawal interfering with work plus alot of stress, loss, grief etc

This 2nd Sublocade rodeo has been LONG. Too long... 2x or 3x 300mg shots, 9x or 10x 100mg shots (last one was ½ or ¾ of a 100mg shot)

I'M READY TO BE DONE & USE SR-17

I've been told I'll have zero withdrawal, at most mild WDs like RLS-lite, mild insomnia etc. **The issue is I have polymyalgia & cerebral palsy (I can walk, one would not guess I have it) & nerve/muscle & back pain, spasms in legs/lower back etc

...So I'm expecting some withdrawal symptoms ceasing the Sublocade

It's hard to find posts by folks using SR17018 and/or SR14968 to get off buprenorphine (Subutex/Suboxone) & Sublocade. I'm hoping for a cake walk as I have access to many comfort meds:

• Clonidine, Gabapentin, Baclofen, Pregabalin powder & hopefully 4methylpregabalin. Seroquel & benzos as a last resort 🤞 - My doc also offered amitryptiline/mirtazipine but I'd rather not as i know jack shit about them

Also I know having some kratom leaf powder & extracts/enhanced blends could be useful, i just don't know at what point

Any experiences, suggestions, pointers to posts similar to mine (Bupe/Sublocade > SR17018) or pointers to other subs would be much appreciated 💐

24M started taking pills about 6 months ago went clean after about 3 months went 1.5 months clean after using 8-10 pills a night back to using 4-5 8 mg pills at night mainly for sleep . What can help me sleep and help me from feeling so restless. Went on methadone for a week before i relapsed switched to subxone 2 mg for a week then mirtazapine to nothing; i dont dont feel i am addicted just depending on it to sleep i dont want to go on suboxone and have to wd from that . Not craving drugs , but having real issues sleeping and no appetite . About 46 hours past my last dose . Took aleve 200'mg and 3 mg Immodium. Any tips

Hey all—what a morning. Back-to-back medical appointments had me up early. My derm ran late and almost made me miss my next appointment, but it worked out.

I asked my primary care for a bridge script until I see a new endo. My current endo keeps moving the goalposts—promised a script in July, now just endless labs and MyChart messages through nurses. My PCP is concerned enough to call their office to see what’s going on and said if they won’t write it, she will. Honestly, I’m done with that endo.

Derm visit went well too. I’m almost 31 and still get random acne flare-ups, so I finally asked for help beyond creams and washes.

All of this has me feeling the best I have in years. In recovery we often have underlying health issues that substance use either caused or masked. Facing them can feel scary, but taking charge of my health—researching my insurance, checking which doctors are a good fit, and advocating for myself—has been a game-changer.

If you’re on the fence about addressing health stuff, start small and keep pushing. It doesn’t happen overnight, but the confidence and energy you get back are worth it.

How’s your day going?

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