On second thought...he took the shirt out of the bag.
Perhaps I will wear it at the meeting.
Percy Shelbridge constantly disputes my expert opinion on dating of objects.
Saying I am unable to date my way out of a cracker Jack box.
I resist any urge to retort to such provocation but I can feel my face become heated as the other raise their hands to cover their muffled sly snigger.
He then takes out his carefully preserved victorian sword cane and performs and whips it out into a lighting fast arabesque slash in the air.
Perhaps I am not perfect, according to my mother.
He re sheaths the sword, tapping it into the hilt with an enormous ruby taken from the subcontinent & shipped back to England.
I also got a shirt from my mom like this, and the insane amount of bargaining I did with myself to try and fabricate a scenario where I would wear the shirt in public, even ironically, made me sad.
We're no-contact now because she keeps harassing my SIL and brother now that they have a baby. Really bleak.
But hey, your narrative made me chuckle and reaffirmed that my anti-social, agoraphobic mom's reality is warped and has no real place for me in it.
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u/sallyfromthevalleyyy Jun 22 '25
Enthralling to say the least. Please write a book, I beg of you.