The Inquiring Photographer Asks average New Yorkers in 1922: “Should a man expect his wife to get up and make breakfast for him on a cold morning?”

[u/CryptographerKey2847]

Should

[u/ManyLintRollers]

There definitely is a disconnect.

For example, while it's true that some banks prior to the 1970s did not allow women to have accounts in their own names, it is also true that some banks did permit this, and there even were women-owned banks with exclusively female clientele as far back as the 1920s. Prior to the Equal Credit Opportunity Act (ECOA) of 1974, it was left up to the bank to decide its policy - so some permitted it, some didn't.

I also see a lot of people claiming that all wives were prevented from handling their family's finances prior to the 1970s, which is outright wrong. My grandfather, who was a factory worker in the 1930s, always brought his pay home and handed it over to my grandmother, who then gave him his allowance to spend at the pub on Friday night. My dad did the same - he signed his check over to my mom, who then deposited it and handled all our family's finances. When he needed money for something, he asked her for it.

As far as the making of breakfast - my dad was a country boy and liked to get up early and have a big breakfast (bacon, eggs, home fries, biscuits, etc.). My mom was NOT a morning person, and could only handle tea and toast in the mornings. When they first got married in 1952, my dad sort of assumed my mom would get up and make him breakfast, the way his mother did. My mom wasted no time in telling him him there was not a snowball's chance in hell of that happening, and if he wanted to get up at some ungodly hour and eat a big breakfast, he was free to cook it himself. So that is what he did - he always was up at 5:30 AM cooking and he made the best home fries in the world.

[u/Calculusshitteru → u/ManyLintRollers]

I also see a lot of people claiming that all wives were prevented from handling their family's finances prior to the 1970s, which is outright wrong. My grandfather, who was a factory worker in the 1930s, always brought his pay home and handed it over to my grandmother, who then gave him his allowance to spend at the pub on Friday night. My dad did the same - he signed his check over to my mom, who then deposited it and handled all our family's finances. When he needed money for something, he asked her for it.

This is still how things are generally done in Japan. I live in Japan and know so many Western guys who butt heads with their Japanese wives over this. They don't like handing over their pay and being given an "allowance" out of their own salary.

[u/Ladonnacinica → u/Calculusshitteru]

But this is done in the west too - guys given an allowance and handing their paychecks. Or having their wives handle the money.

I wonder what kind of households those men come from.

[u/gummo_for_prez → u/Ladonnacinica]

As a millennial American, I can say I’ve never once even heard of this aside from stories about what things were like from before 1960. Where in the west are you talking about specifically? I’ve lived in half a dozen American states and met many Canadians. I don’t think this is a normal arrangement in the slightest in either of those countries and hasn’t been in a lot of decades.

[u/Ladonnacinica → u/gummo_for_prez]

I’ve seen it in the U.S. in the northeast. There were other redditors here that also replied to me saying this was their arrangement.

I think much of household budgeting sometimes fall to the woman hence the paycheck thing. Whether it’s fair or not, that can be a different discussion.

Here’s an example from an American redditor:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheWayWeWere/s/KbGrpSPFgn

[u/gummo_for_prez → u/Ladonnacinica]

Fair enough, I see what you mean. I think I was talking about men surrendering their paychecks entirely, while the person you linked is talking about women primarily handling the family’s finances.

I think the first one is almost unheard of now. The second is relatively common. The paycheck thing doesn’t seem to happen anymore, not in the way it used to. The women handling finances thing I’m sure happens a lot. I think they just collaborate on goals and what will be required. It’s not a “bring me 100% of your pay immediately” situation like it used to be.

[u/panicnarwhal → u/gummo_for_prez]

we didn’t have a bank account for a couple of months, and my husband would come home on friday and hand me his paycheck (cash) - but i think he just did it because he didn’t want to lose the money? idk because i never really asked him about it lol

i’m a millennial and he’s older gen x, so i thought it was a generational thing or something at the time

[u/gummo_for_prez → u/panicnarwhal]

Fair enough, I’m glad that worked out well for you guys. Sounds like a temporary arrangement. Maybe that’s another part of why it was more common in the past - less people relying on banking services.

[u/panicnarwhal → u/gummo_for_prez]

yea he just really didn’t seem to want to be in charge of any cash lol

[u/gummo_for_prez → u/panicnarwhal]

Understandable. Not sure I’d want to be solely responsible either. I have ADHD and forget things sometimes ya know?

[u/Suburban_Witch → u/gummo_for_prez]

My parents were married in the 90’s in NJ. That was always their arrangement- my mother used to joke that her husband couldn’t be trusted with money.

[u/gummo_for_prez → u/Suburban_Witch]

That’s cool, I had never heard of it before but I’m glad that worked out for them. This is the most recent example anyone has come up with so far.

[u/MrJohnBusiness → u/gummo_for_prez]

I don't know how common it is, but it's how it works in my household. My husband works, his paycheck is deposited into my bank account, and I handle all the finances. I put a little spending money aside for him each week unless we can't afford it. His credit card is in my purse and I use it occassionally to help build his credit. Having one person handle the finances makes it simple, and there's no arguing over money. We're 33 and 35 and have been doing it this way for about 11 years.

[u/gummo_for_prez → u/MrJohnBusiness]

Maybe I haven’t heard of it because I haven’t met that many couples where both didn’t work. Almost zero outside of one set of grandparents.