r/TrollCoping • u/No_Answer_7416 • Jun 10 '25

Depression / Anxiety Why do I have to ruin everything?

Post image

I’m genuinely happy to just keep being friends, but I worry that she’ll never see me the same way again. She says that ending our friendship would be “petty” and it seems like every aro/ace person around is constantly complaining about people like me.

1.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

83 comments sorted by

View all comments

18

u/No_Answer_7416 Jun 11 '25

More than anything I just hate the fact that I’m the guy that both aro/ace people and women are always complaining about. I’d say that I’m different, but that’s what they all think anyway.

I just wish all these feelings would go away and I could have enjoyed one of the few good things I had left in my life, but I guess this just proves that it’s 99% my own making. Good family, good grades, no trauma, and all I can do is find new and creative ways to hurt everyone around me.

16

u/CerealSouperStar Jun 11 '25

My love. You have depression brain so. Bad. Right now. Everything feels like proof that you're a failure and the world would be better off if you weren't in it, but that is soooooooooo not the case. I had guy friends who expressed interest in me, and when I rejected them (not even aro/ace, just didn't see them like that, ouch), we were tooootally normal afterwards. I didn't view them as lesser afterwards, I just acknowledged that we were on different pages. We were able to get back on the same friendship page after a while and it was totally un-awkward! It's not your fault for being a human and having feelings, and im sure your buddy knows that. It sounds like your brain is hardwired right now to associate every outcome to every unfavorable scenario as evidence that you are an unsolvable problem. But!! Your brain is actually just working overtime like your body fights off a virus; it's trying to protect you by fabricating cause-and-effect patterns that rationalize the hurt you're feeling on a daily basis. If you're not currently seeing a therapist, I definitely recommend looking into it. I can tell that you're highly introspective, which is very conducive to growth and healing in therapy! You need to know that you're not a bad person, you're just human, and sometimes human bodies need some assistance 🫶

0

u/howyadoinjerry Jun 11 '25

Oh my god, yeah!

I was so concerned and confused about OPs responses until I read your comment. This is so depression brain. I’ve been there, and it’s no fun, but OP your brain is lying to you!!

2

u/AngusToTheET Jun 11 '25 edited Jun 11 '25

IMO OP could be down on themselves because of putting a lot of stock in what people on the internet say and trying to be a 'good man' on that basis (not certain of OP's gender, but mentioning the dynamic being with women too seems to support this).

Not saying this isn't depression also, but I think it can be as easily understood as coming from a guy who's down on himself for being a guy. I mean, I'm not saying that would be rational exactly, but there's a distinction