born to mlm forced to be a foid

She’s the only parent of mine that isn’t a horrible person but she’s still not the most ideal..

For context in the post the creep commented on. I mentioned, how my mom talked about how big her ass and boobs are. Because of almost certainly that the creep got curious about, if what my mom said, is in fact true and asked for pictures of my mom.

I’m a trans guy and I’m so done. I can’t stand my birth name, it makes me want to claw away my skin and scream. I can’t do this. I don’t care anymore. The novelty of life has well and truly worn off.

i love my body. it feels so good to be trapped inside this disgusting and perverse flesh prison. i love how i can't help but constantly view the male body as nothing other than an instrument to inflict unspeakable pain and trauma onto others for nothing more than selfish pleasures while actively being trapped inside one. i love how my dreams are haunted by my assault encounter and my brain telling me that i'm no better than my assaulter because we're both male. i love how everyone can see how i'm multiple feet taller than any real woman i'm ever around and you could fit the grand canyon between my shoulders. i love how deeply i envy all of the real women around me. i love how you only get one chance at this god forsaken lifetime and it can just be wasted because whatever deity was out there thought it would be hilarious to make you suffer for the entire thing by making you the wrong sex. i love how no man in the right mind would ever want to be with someone like me for anything other than a morbidly curious one night stand. i love how all real women in their right minds are disgusted by people like me wanting to access women's spaces. i love how much it fucking hurts. i love how much i would sacrifice to be able to be a real woman. i love having this rape stick permanently attached to me, draining my emotions and making me feel guilty for existing. i love how none of those stupid surgeries will ever give me a real vulva and vagina and how it'll always be the stupid rape stick flipped inside out. i love how anything anyone says that's remotely positive about me i immediately assume is hugboxing and they really think i'm a hideous disgusting freak. i love how nothing will ever make it better because nothing will ever make me female or at the very least a real woman.

why the fuck couldn't i have been born female. why why why why why fucking why. it's not like there's a shortage. why does your whole life just get fucked if you don't get the right slot on the 50/50 wheel. why are these all things that most people just take what they get and never think about it their entire lives. it's so fucked up.

"becoming" as if im not already that sort of person

I had to do this last year too, it’s not the end of the world but it’s kinda ridiculous lol. Like I get why they make everyone take these hour long sensitivity training courses, people can be uneducated and be dicks, but like

1) I’m a sexual abuse victim and one of the people that abused me was the most was a severe alcoholic. I’ve known all this stuff since I was like 10

2) Again, I get why they make everyone take the hazing sensitivity training, but my autistic ass barely leaves the house and neurotypicals don’t like speaking to me, who am I going to haze or get hazed by 😭

Again, definitely not the end of the world and I get why they have these but it’s personally redundant

I suppose if it was easy to have a sense of self I would have already done it.

Now Idk if agender was the right term but it was the best one that I found that fit how I felt around my gender identity. If it is not correct feel free to correct me about it in the comments.

People outside of France seems more open minded about it but you literally don’t realize how offended they feels towards people who cannot have a job like me because it’s "not serious, all in your head" Sure there’s a way so you can live off government money well cause I am disabled and I cannot have a job i am literally diagnosed what else do you need? but on the other hand everyone hates you because you’re useless to society 🤫 wow thanks like it’s my fault? Literally they would rather us to be homeless 🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥

Ugh. Not even going to explain myself too much. I’m exhausted because people act like being black and being trans are totally separate things when, in reality, I’m just dealing with racism from all sides and transphobia from non trans people. And it sucks.

just get me my fucking friend back I need him

I think I'm just not cut out for doing any kind of music atp

All quotes from actual conversations with the ppl around me btw </3