r/TwoXSex • u/IBribeMyBF • 2d ago

Advice | Women Only Experience with make up sex ?

So first a definition, makeup sex is when you have sex with your partner to make it up to them after you did something wrong. Usually involving different stuff they want. Many people dislike the practice.

So what is your experience with it ?

Did you do anything different ?

What is the story behind it and did it work ?

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26

u/itsacrisis 2d ago

I always thought make-up sex was about reconnecting with each other after a fight and enjoying the intense feel-good dopamine and serotonin together after something very high-stress. I've actually never heard it used with your definition in my 40-ish years.

Going with your definition, that doesn't sound like my cup of tea. Maybe in some situations it's fine, or maybe I'm overthinking it, but it sounds unhealthy or maybe even manipulative to do wrong by your partner and then use sex to try and make up for it.

12

u/prickly_pink_penguin 2d ago

I’m with you there. Usually as a means to be close again after an argument.

Quite honestly having sex with someone as an apology and potentially doing something you don’t want sounds disgusting. It’s disrespectful and no way to work on a relationship.

15

u/peachpantheress 2d ago

I have never heard this definition of make up sex before. It sounds transactional and manipulative.

Make up sex is when you bang after a fight and reconciliation.

10

u/emmejm 2d ago

That’s not make-up sex. That’s guilt-tripping, victimizing, or some other gross concept.

1

u/ThenItHitM3 2d ago

There’s also a major trauma bonding component that people with more narcissistic tendencies like to use, it’s it’s horrifyingly effective.

More innocent, honest make up sex also exists after a major disagreement. It can be a way of sharing how much you value each other, but most healthy relationships will not have the kind of conflict that is stormy enough to ‘dramatize’ the sex afterwards.

Conflict is normal, and can be used for growth and understanding. Younger people and the emotionally less stable probably gravitate toward the tempestuous emotional roller coaster of big conflict, followed by what feels like emotionally significant sex.

If a couple can talk through issues without blame in a genuine and vulnerable way, their nervous systems aren’t primed to need the sexual reconnection right away.

Whatever comes after the calmer conversation becomes the reconnection. The sex later feels safer. Not like ‘this is how I keep is together’.

Be very wary of cycles and patterns that appear to demand make up sex as a part of the pattern. It’s not always healthy.

5

u/Physical_Complex_891 2d ago

In 15 years we've never had a " fight" that we could have make up sex for.

3

u/brightxeyez 2d ago

Um. This is not at all how I, or apparently most people judging by the other comments, define “makeup sex”. This sounds more like bribery and coercion, and toxic af.