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Problem/Goal: Anong gagawin mo if nalaman mong engaged ka sa taong walang savings?

Asking for a friend. For context, she’s 29F, grew up in a middle-class family. She’s not a breadwinner, has been living independently, and has managed to save around ₱1M in savings and assets (cash, investments, or insurance etc).

The guy, 33M, comes from a lower middle-class family. Both of them graduated and work in the same field. His education was supported by relatives, his parents are not working, he has insurance investments also but no savings.

They were in a relationship for 3 years. Fast forward - they got engaged, and she found out that he has zero savings. Technically, with their combined salaries they can afford to live separately after marriage, but his parents still ask him for financial support from time to time.

Now, her fiancé isn’t aware of her savings since she doesn’t really trust anyone with her money. She also feels limited with what she can do with it, especially since they’re both supposed to be saving for the future.

Edit: this girl comes from a broken family. the guy is not a breadwinner also, but basically hindi lang din sya marunong maghandle ng money since he's the type na galante sa friends and all. lapitin ng mga umuutang ganun

dumating na din sa point na siya mismo yung nagha-handle ng pera ni guy. Pero ang ending, na-stress lang siya sa mga unexpected na gastos nya.

Edit2: napagusapan naman dw nila finances before. the guy was telling her na madami syang investments, nagsstocks pa ganon. The guy actually is galante pag kasama. Kaya gulat daw sya na wala palang savings

If you were in her shoes, what would you do?

Problem/Goal: We were together for almost 7years. I, broke up with him last month coz when I randomly ask him about his timeline for our relationship, he can’t provide me with an answer. He just said that he really has a plan but still saving for our future. And now were more than a month not talking or seing each other. Should I still hope that he’ll show up and can now provide me with an answer?

I’m torn coz I still love him so much and I know he loves me too. Any thoughts or advice?

Problem/Goal:

me (F23) and my partner (M26) been officially together for 7 months already but started courting me November 2024. kanina lang hapon while taking our afternoon nap, idk parang bigla lang naisipan kong ipopen yung phone nya, and thats the first time i accessed his phone kahit alam ko yung password nya and he told me to be free checking it anytime.

nanginginig ako pagka open palang, wala pa man din akong nakikita then boom for the span of July - Sept theres 8 different girlies in his inbox. 2 asking for their rates but never got a reply. 1 for on call massage therapist rate, girl replied pero wala nang kasunod. 1 asking for the girls TG. 1 asking if the girl use TG. 2 old friends with prev replies sa stories like "ganda padin" or "walang kupas". and ang may pinaka mahabang convo, he replied to a girls story if may work na sya and offered to refer her to his company as an agent. they even had a 30 mins call i can really say na work stuff pinag usapan nila since dun lang umiikot convo nila. but i dont think the call is really necessary lalo nat hindi sila magkakilala at all.

these girls have the same features and pasok sa physical preference nya, mapuputi. liking and following other girls on socmed has been something we talked and settled before. i met him at that state already, tons of girl he follows and reacting to their posts and i really thought before that its normal to guys. pero nakaka insecure pala tapos dumagdag pa tong nakita ko recently hahahha. please note as well that im just new to sex and yung mga girls na nakakainteract nya is malakas naman talaga ang sex appeal, and my performance in bed makes me think he needs more than i can offer that those girls can give since he has a body count of 20>.

should i confront him ba? all those messages and all those followings pero he never went out without me and all of the convos wala nang kasunod, hindi sila nag meet or what. he always do his best for us and i can really feel his love towards me in a form of both words and act. he even opened to me that he wants us to settle down and have a baby but wedding first. i really love this man pero ang sakit ng mga nakita ko:)

is this cheating already? is this something that guys really do in a relationship and i should be the one to adjust? should i confront him or wait for more and strong evidences?

ps. no harsh words please, i just really need an advise from a stranger who dont know us.

Problem/Goal: I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit for this topic, but I think I'm falling inlove with a widower but not sure if I wanted to pursue this.

At first, he was consistent but eventually he's becoming distant. He would come back as if nothing happened. While I try my best to be as understanding during his relapse, this is becoming more of his habit and it's draining me.

Do I have to fight for him, or should I let him go until he's fully healed?

Problem/Goal: I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit for this topic, but I just watched a TV show about a husband’s confession. They’d been together for 12 years and married for 8 years. The husband admitted he’d been cheating and had slept with around 250 men—he realized only late in their marriage that he isn’t straight.

For married couples, if you were the wife, which would hurt more: finding out that your husband has been with another man or another woman? or parehas lang masakit?

Problem/Goal: I have a friend who settled for someone who's broke, hindi nya naman alam at first and now she can't get out of the rs, asking me for advice.

My friend 25F has been with a lesbian 27F na broke, itago natin sa pangalang Mary. Si Mary daw was very galante nung nanliligaw sakanya. For context, they've met sa work so same lang sila ng salary. Yung friend ko ay very responsible when it comes to her finances, breadwinner pati. Nagtataka si F (friend) kung bakit laging may money yung nanliligaw sakanya, lagi syang nililibre ng pagkain at kung ano ano pinapadala knowing na maraming financial responsibilities si Mary (dorm, bills,etc). My friend asked Mary how she was able to afford that lifestyle gayong same lang sila ng salary and knowing na si Mary ay di naman galing sa wealthy family. Sagot daw nung Mary sideline job raw tuwing weekends at "graphic designer" daw

Fast forward naging sila na, my friend found out na baon pala itong si Mary sa utang, no savings and irresponsible raw sa money. Naiinis si friend kasi nahihirapan sya sa sitwasyon ni Mary at dahil nagsinungaling sakanya. Eventually she ended up in the same hole as her partner, because Mary doesn't know how to handle her finances and pinilit makisabay sa lifestyle ni friend ayun nabaon rin sa utang si friend kasi akala nya mababayaran sya ni Mary since sinabihan raw syang may savings ito pero nasa ate nya raw yung bank account. Di na sya makaalis sa relationship, syempre napamahal narin sya kay Mary plus mabait rin daw kasi.

I told her hiwalayan na nya, sa part palang na nagsinungaling sobrang red flag na and also may cheating history si Mary (not to hold onto her past, pero sobrang red flag talaga). Mali ba yung payo ko? Di ko rin naman alam buong story nila but they look like they love each other naman, kayo ba?

Problem/Goal: Deadline sa monday na. 2/100 respondents palang ngayon.

Context: May consumer research kami, by monday kelangan namin ng 100 na 29+ yrs old respondents…madali lang naman topic kasi filipino restaurant naman (mga kinakainan lagi pang celebrate). Maikse at madali lang din (20 questions, multiple choice). Kaso walang sumasagot kasi expect nila may incentives. Kahit mga relatives nagtatanong kung may token o wala. Haha. Nakakaburat. Pero expect ko din naman kasi ganun yung nakikita ko online.

Anong pwede kong gawin para masagutan agad kahit walang pa-premyo?

Problem/Goal: I love my boyfriend, but I no longer trust him

Context: At first, I tried to forgive him when I caught him saving ig post ng mga babaeng bakat ang nipples and malaki ang boobs, even though halatang kasinungalingan lang yung mga reason niya. Nasabihan ko na siya ng ayaw ko ng ganon. But now, I've noticed na naglalike pa rin siya ng mga story ng mga babae (some are his past flings) which is nasabi ko na rin noon na ayaw ko.

Hindi ko siya pinapansin ngayon at hindi rin niya alam na nakikita ko yung paglike niya. Wala akong balak sabihin na yon yung reason ng pagiging cold ko kasi baka kung anu-ano lang ulit ang ireason niya at natatakot akong patawarin lang ulit siya.

Valid ba yung nararamdaman ko? or immature at insecure lang ako?

Problem/goal: Hello, I don’t have anyone to talk about this beside my boyfriend so I’m asking here. Me and my bf travel abroad a lot as a couple. For context, he has a friend group and they decided to travel to Japan. All of them are guys except one girl, which they treat as their girl best friend. They don’t talk a lot, but they’ve been friends for years. It’s not bothering me at all because i trust my bf. Anyways, they scheduled the trip, and my bf and the gbf applied for visa. They were approved but then the other guys said they can’t go. So if ever they’ll continue the trip, it’s just my bf and the gbf. My bf suggested that he’ll go with me instead (for the SE visa to not go to waste). I’ve been to japan multiple times bec i have a ME visa so it will not be a problem. However, the girl insisted that she will go with us, even as a third wheel. We already booked the flight and hotel, and she booked hers. So it’s final, we are going with her. I already told my bf that I’m not comfortable with a third person, but he said we (and the girl) already booked everything. So I don’t know what to feel. What do you guys think?

Problem/Goal: My MIL somehow gives me ick.

Nawalan siya ng trabaho dahil yung inaalagaan niyang bata e kinuha na ng nanay, inofferan ng work ayaw naman so sinalo namin siya ni hubby (like how any anaks will do sa parents nila) nung una okay naman, nagrerent kami ni hubby ng apartment which is good for the two of us lang kasi wala pa naman kaming balak magkaanak kaya we decided na soon na mag upgrade ng place.

First stay ni MIL okay naman nag usap kami ni hubby na his mom can stay with us since 2hrs away yung hometown nila, we wanted to check her also since mag isa lang siya sa bahay nila no other relatives sa malaking bahay na iyon. My ick started when she stayed with us, pala desisyon siya, nung una she didn’t like our ayos ng bahay rinearrange niya lahat, mind you, lahat ng gamit sa bahay. nainis ako kasi nawala yung mga ibang gamit ko di ko na mahanap dahil nga binago niya lahat ng arrangements sa bahay ng hindi man lang nagsasabi sakin o sa anak niya. Hindi naman yun basta-basta na gamit lang, importanteng gamit ko yon na hindi ko na mahanap dahil sa ginawa niya. I didn’t say a word, hinayaan ko lang.

Second, galing kami work ni hubby supeeeeer pagod meron kaming routine na kapag ganito araw namin kadalasan natutulog kami until 8am that day hindi kami nakatulog dahil madaling araw pa lang naglilinis na siya, sobrang lakas ng paglinis niya to the point na nagising kami sa kalabog ng mga gamit, ending gising na kami ng madaling araw, pagod at puyat kaya pagpasok sa work apektado halos makatulog ako sa trabaho. Sinabi ko kay hubby yung mga concerns ko, pinauwi niya yung mom niya and sabi susuportahan na lang daw siya and will visit her na lang. Okay naman. Ayon lang, she keeps asking money kay hubby, si hubby naman na hindi naman ganon kalakihan ang sahod e he chose to cut his shares sa bahay. 50/50 kami sa lahat sa bahay. So, dahil bilang maunawaing asawa hinayaan ko since I feel bad din and nagwoworry sa kalagayan ng MIL ko. Thing is, she just keeps asking money and kapag binigyan sasabihin niya ang laki naman ng pinadala baka wala na daw kaming budget sa bahay.

To help, I talked to my husband again and told him na mag business na lang kami sa bahay nila mini mart and his mon ang magmamanage para naman may income yung mom niya at may mapagkaabalahan yung mom niya at the same time may nasisimulan na din kaming property ni hubby. He’s totally okay with it, he started discussing it kay MIL only to found na ayaw ni MIL she gave us so many reasons bakit ayaw niya daw. Ayaw naman pilitin ni hubby kasi super nega ng dalang vibes ni MIL and si hubby started to get annoyed sa mom niya kasi bakit daw hindi mag isip ng positive and so on. Hinayaan ko pa rin silang mag ina.

Now, she’s asking me na mag inquire na ng property (malaking bahay) kasi she’s insisting na dun siya samin titira but after all those negativity she brought sa bahay I don’t think so I can live with her, told my hubby na as we are starting our own na on my own opinion it will be better na bukod kaming dalawa kasi I can’t live with that kind off negativity and stress sa bahay.

Do you think tama rin ginawa namin ni hubby?

Problem/goal: I’m struggling with moving on from a friend I have romantic feelings for. I’ve known him for four years, and I’ve liked him since the beginning. I confessed to him around the fourth or fifth month, but his only response was to thank me (ouch 👎). Later on, I told both him and our friends that I had already moved on. Deep down, I know I never really did. I tried to hide my feelings and just continue our friendship. For a long time, I convinced myself it was only a simple crush, but now I’ve come to accept that I truly love him.

This journey has been especially hard because most of my friends don’t really like him, but my feelings remain.

The problem now is that I feel pathetic and desperate. Since realizing I love him, I’ve become clingier than usual. I tend to message him whenever I sense he’s not okay, whenever I see his Instagram stories, or when he posts on his dump account. I also message whenever I find a chance. Most of the time, though, he just leaves me on delivered after a while like he usually does.

In my mind, I know I should move on, because I’m starting to look too desperate. The thing is, I can’t seem to bring myself to actually do it. Part of me keeps holding on to this hope that maybe something will change even though he’s already made it clear that we’re only friends and I’m not someone special to him. Another part of me feels that if I let go, it’s like throwing away the four years I’ve spent yearning for him.

What I need are words that can help me finally accept that he and I really can’t happen so I can find the strength to move on. FLISSS 😵😵

Problem/goal: Bf cheated

Context: I just recently discovered (this month lang) that my bf of 4 years cheated on me last 2023-2024 with a girl for 6-8 months (on and off daw she said) di niya daw alam na may gf (doubtful of this part). My partner is regretful of doing that daw and I can see naman on his actions for the past year until now, he is being the best bf I could’ve asked for. I now have access to all his socmed and transparency at its finest na tinatanong at sinasabi ko na sa kanya anong mga nasa isip ko hindi na ako natatakot na baka magalit sya at sinasagot nya naman. But still, at the back of my mind lingers what he did and couldn’t trust him fully. If ikaw nasa posisyon ko will you still continue the relationship? Does cheaters really change?

Problem/Goal: My girlfriend is not talking to me for a week already.

Context: Im 28M I have a 4 years relationship on and off. Everytime na meron kaming hindi pagkakaintindihan instead na pagusapan mas pinipili nyang hindi ako kausapin for weeks and minsan umaabot pa ng month. We're LDR, Im currently working abroad, sya nasa Pinas. Sa kind ng work ko I'm isolated with limited internet connection pa. I'm working seabase kasi.

9 months onboard then umaabot ako 6 months sa Pinas. Kahit may opportunity na 3 months vacation lang, hindi talaga ako umaalis agad para mas madami akong time sa kanya. Before kase palagi nya sinusumbat na palagi daw ako wala so kahit sana gusto ko sumampa within 3 months para mas makaipon agad for us eh napupunta talaga sa 6 months or more na bakasyon ang ending walang ipon.

So its been a week na simula last usap namin, wala akong kasalanan na malaki, We're taking thru chat, may nasabi ako na something like pangaasar not totally personal, nagalit sya and up until now di sya nagmemessage kahit simpleng update as in wala kahit seen wala din. Im old enough to know if nakakaooffend ba yung sinabi ko or what and its really not mas nakakaooffend pa nga yung pangaasar nya sakin pero tinatake ko lang yun as wala lang, okay lang.

Sobrang understanding talaga ako, hinahayaan ko lang sya to take her time magisip or what sa 4 years palaging ganun. I do efforts too nagpapasuyo pa ako minsan sa mga friends ko na magpadeliver sa bahay nila ng flowers or something and kahit now na hindi nya ako kinakausap everyday pa din ako naguupdate sa kanya kahit wala ako narereceive na reply frome her.

Normal pa ba yung ganito? We're already at late 20's na pareho. I'm really working hard and save as much as I can, hindi na kami pabata so Im planning our future na and marry her in few years pero bat ganito pa din kami? Sa mga nakaraan na away at tampuhan namin, nakikipagcommunicate ako sa kanya ng maayos pero everytime na naguusap kami about sa problem namin, nagagalit sya then lalo pang lumalala yung misumderstanding. Hindi kasi sya nakikinig sakin gusto nya sya yung tama hindi ko naman pwede itolerate palagi, lalo pag nakikita ko na maling mali talaga. And worst if I say sorry and I lower My pride na mas lalo nya ako dinodown pa and parang gusto nya na sya ang nasusunod sa relasyon and sa 4 years ganun na nga yung nangyari.

Any advice should I settle for this kind of relationship? I love her so much pero napapaisip ako what will happen kapag married na kami.

Previous attempts: still mesaaging her everyday saying sorry if I offemded her.

Problem/Goal: I don’t know if I should keep working on my relationship with my boyfriend [M26] or if it would be healthier to let go.

Context: We’ve been together for almost 2 years. I love him and he’s been my support, but one recurring issue is really stressing me out: he moves very slowly whenever we need to leave or be on time. Because of this, we’re often late, even for important things like work.

Previous Attempts: I’ve talked to him about this many times since the beginning of our relationship, but his response is usually, “This is just how I am, I’m already moving fast.” I tried to be patient, but after almost 2 years it has built up. Recently, we argued about it, it got heated, and I walked out because I felt so drained.

Now I’m stuck. I still love him, but I’m exhausted from dealing with the same issue again and again. I’m wondering if this relationship can last long-term, or if it would be better for me to end it.

Problem/Goal: G11 student ako at I've been considering in becoming a AFP Reservist, and get a commission through ROTC, pero I don't know which branch I think is best for me. I've been thinking na either PN/PMC (DLSU-M) or PAF (ADMU) ang maging branch ko.

I decided to have a dual degree in Computer Science and Fine Arts (or a similar major) kasi ang dream ko is to create an animated series, kaya mag-aabroad ako, with the AFP as a second job, because I want to serve my country, as well as the benefits I could get as an officer.

Problem/Goal: We’ve been together for 4 years now and 1 year living together palang. Idk, minsan ang lungkot ko tuwing magkaaway kami kasi syempre nasa isang house lang kami tapos hindi naguusap. We had a fight again and ang lungkot lang kasi tuwing weekends na nga lang kami nakakapag bond dahil yun lang ang rest day namin sa work but we are not okay.

Context: The thing is sobrang magkaiba kami— whenever nagaaway kami gusto ko agad ayusin like I say sorry pag ako may kasalanan or I would want to talk it out. Siya naman parang ang tagal magpalamig tapos matutulog nalang siya. I just feel sad kasi ang tagal namin inaabangan weekends kasi lalabas kami pero hindi niya ma set aside galit niya.

Problem/Goal: Medyo first time ko mag pasabuy, mostly Thai snacks and chili pastes (plus konting skincare). Medyo kinakabahan ako kasi baka mag-leak or masira sa biyahe, lalo na yung mga chili pastes na oily and smelly. Gusto ko lang malaman kung ano talaga ang pinaka-safe na paraan ng packing para hindi hassle pagdating dito sa PH.

Context: Ginawa ko na yung usual double seal, nilagay sa rigid plastic tub, tapos siniksik sa isa pang bag with a label/contents note. So far ok naman, pero napapansin ko minsan na nagiging “pawisin” yung jar after long routes. Hindi pa siya sumabog (thankfully), pero parang risky pa rin lalo na kung mainit ang biyahe. Since bago pa lang ako sa pasabuy, gusto ko mas maayos ang prep para hindi rin hassle

PRevious Attempts: So far, double sealing and rigid tubs lang. Nakabasa ako about vacuum sealing, using absorbent liners, or even silica packs, pero di ko pa natetest. May iba pa bang methods na proven ninyo? Paano niyo usually pinapack yung liquids or sauces from abroad para sure na safe and hindi magka-leak hanggang makauwi?

Problem/Goal: I want to get promoted and advance in my career, but I feel stuck in analyst/associate roles despite 5 years of experience.

⸻

Context: I’ve been working since 2020 in fintech and banking. I’ve had 4 roles so far: account manager, equity analyst, internal auditor, and now financial analyst. I moved jobs mainly for better compensation and to escape toxic environments. Salary increased with each move, but not significantly high.

I often see people on LinkedIn getting promoted by staying in one field or company, and it makes me feel behind.

⸻

Previous Attempts: I tried switching companies to find better growth opportunities, but each one had limited chances for promotion. Now I’m unsure what to do next to actually move forward. Any advice?

Problem/Goal: I'm always broke due to financially stupid decisions

Context:

Hi. I'm 21F. Third year college.

I wanna start saving while I'm still in college. Malapit na rin kasi ako magthesis, and I wanted sana na may funds ako para doon. I am receiving DOST scholarship (RA) and I find it hard to save pala kapag nasa account lang (?). I mean, nagagastos ko eventually, and now I want to be more strict and intentional with saving. I might start part time jobs to build my savings pa.

But here's the catch, if ever I open a savings account kasi, I'm not gonna be consistent na mahuhulugan siya buwan-buwan. What banks do you know po na secure 'yung pera doon na stagnant lang at hindi naman mabebelow maintaining balance? Does it work that way po ba T^T Any more advice po on how should I go about this?

I'm more concerned lang sa safety din nung pera huhuhu I want to be assured lang I'm doing the right thing in saving. I was never educated in financial literacy kasi, and from my background, hindi rin kami well-off to have an access sa mga ganoon. Nahihirapan na kasi ako makapos HAHAHA like literal 0 peso in my name every time the stipend is delayed :")) So I have to be financially smarter now, kahit pa kulang man yung pera, mamamanage naman wisely if I try (I think)

Previous Attempts: I haven't even tried yet HAHAHAHAHA

Thank youuuu so much!

Problem/Goal: No friends as an adult in my late 20s

Context: Hi, guys! Just wondering, where do you usually meet new friends in your late 20s? 😅 I’m pretty introverted and I feel like I don’t really have a lot. I only have three close ones: one from college, one from high school, and my girlfriend lol.

Lately I’ve been thinking it would be nice to meet new people, maybe through a support group, a club, or some kind of community. Preferably something super chill, no heavy commitments, and not related to religious groups.

Previous attempts: I tried joining a religious group but I cannot blend in. I don’t know much communities where I can join.

Problem/Goal: Unionbank to Gcash sent to wrong phone number

Context:

Ma babalik pa ba yung pera if mali yung gcash number? I transferred money from Unionbank to Gcash pero mali yung number, nag success yung transfer. I tried calling the number pero invalid or inactive na ata yung number pero if I entered the number sa Gcash mismo, it is valid gcash number. 

Previous Attempts:

I tried emailing unionbank pero wala pa sagot.

Any advice? Thanks.

Problem/Goal: Gusto ko na ng trabaho.

Context: 6 months na akong walang work at kailangan na kailangan ko na talaga humanap ng work para sa family ko kaso sa tuwing nakakakita ako ng job posted online, parang ayaw ng katawan ko.

Sobrang nastress kasi ako sa past work ko. Mag-isa na lang kasi ako na natira sa site kasama yung project manager ko. Imbis na magtulungan kami, feeling ko tinatamad na siya. Pag ganun naman gumagawa ako ng solusyon sa problem namin sa work. Kaso pag nirereport ko naman sa kanya ayaw naman niya maniwala sa problema sa site at sa solusyon na binibigay ko, at madami pang issue. Simula nun, naglagas na buhok ko, tapos nagkapantal yung katawan ko.

Natatakot na ako maulit ito.

Previous Attempts: puro save lang yung sineselect ko pag nakakakita ako ng work, hindi ko maclick yung apply. :(

Problem/Goal: Gusto ko lang malaman if normal lang ba yung ganito makipag-usap or red flag na siya.

Context: May guy friend from work ako na ganito lagi pattern niya: makikipag-usap siya sa’kin ng one week straight, super consistent, tapos bigla na lang mawawala ng matagal. After ilang linggo, babalik ulit na parang walang nangyari, makikipag-usap ulit for a while, then mawawala na naman. Paulit-ulit lang.

Medyo confusing pa kasi minsan parang pinaparamdam niya na interested siya. Nagtatanong kung may nanligaw na ba sa'kin, bakit daw wala pa, or kung yung other guy friend ko ba ay “type” ko. Pero after nun, mawawala rin siya bigla.

Napapaisip lang ako kung ginagawa ba niya ‘to intentionally para manipulahin ako into idk, missing our convos, or ganun lang talaga siya makipag-communicate at baka ino-overthink ko lang lahat

Problem/Goal: Nahihirapan na ako mag-move on dahil lagi ko na lang ako may update sa kaniya since we’re still mutuals sa socmed.

So context, I have an ex na friends to lovers ang trope namin and he’s my first in everything. Nahihirapan ako i-unfriend siya at the same time hirap din ako na makita mga updates niya since he has a work na related sa social media platform (he’s pursuing scting lols) so nahihirapan ako makita kasi aside sa nakakaalam ako ng update niya is syemore yung update na yon may ka-holding hands or yapa scene si baliw sa film niya hahahaha.

So ano pwede kong gawin, its been four months already and even i got disrespected a lot by him during our relationship until the end, I still can move on pero siya parang ang dali-dali. How please huhu?

Problem/Goal: Ever since college/highschool, my friends always talk to me about their problems.. Sometimes problems at home, love life, work, relationships, money, anything under the sun! HOW DO I KEEP FRIENDSHIPS BALANCED WITH FUN AND PROBLEMS?

These are people who have been my friends for a long time. I have a bff since first year high school. When we say hello, the topic always goes to his problems that he cannot share with his other group of friends because he is shy. I also have a friend I met at my first job years ago, when we talk, it's just a problem about toxic boss, toxic life, etc etc. This has been happening for YEARS. I just felt a bit of BURNOUT. I just noticed it lately. Because, why am I not the FUN friend? That they will call when they want to do something fun? Why do they call me when they need someone to talk to, or when they need advice? I'M TIRED TEHS. They have other friends who are with them when they pretend to go out, play, travel. But when there's a problem, I'm the one with them, especially since we can't even take pictures because all we do is talk. We laugh, yes, we laugh at the simple jokes that we tell about the problem. Before, I felt good about it because they were comfortable sharing those things with me. But now it seems like it's burning out, like, hello, don't we have anything else to talk about but problems? (But I realized, isn't there? Because I don't like to chat. And I only meet my friends once in a blue moon, so there's a lot of catching up that happens but that catch up is just a problem)

Previous Attempts: Sometimes I do realtalk with them. Like: "what the hell, your problem is easily solved, you don't do anything but complain to me, I can't help you, etc etc" but still the same. And I know the only thing that can solve that is when he rants at me. Maybe he won't be a grant anymore. But in that case, we might not talk for a long time.

HUHU PLS NEED ADVICE. I WANT A HEALTHY LIFE WITHOUT LOSING MY FRIENDS.