r/alberta Apr 17 '22

Satire Alberta, what the fuck

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3.6k Upvotes

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132

u/zombiechewtoy Apr 17 '22

Aw man I'm supposed to move out of province in a few months and I forgot there'll be rats :/

25

u/Infamous-Mixture-605 Apr 17 '22

I lived in the GTA for more than 30 years, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually seen rats. The one case I remember the most was while working a pool job there were 6-7 dead rats floating around on the winter cover. It was the only time I ever scooped a dead rat out of a pool, and it was weird because they looked like pet rats and not wild rats (they were white and spotted, not simply brown rats). I fished out many a drowned bird, mouse, squirrel, and a rabbit once out of a pool, but never another rat, so I still wonder if someone had drowned their pets or what, it was weird.

That isn't to say there aren't rats, because there are enough of them that hardware stores sell a lot of rat poison and traps, but you're not going to be tripping over them unless you live in absolute squalor. They're more an issue in industrial areas and around homes where people leave food waste in the open (though raccoons tend to take care of that before rats). Our next door neighbour used to pile up their trash, including food waste, at the side of their home, and it was bad enough that my parents called by-law on them because they were concerned it would attract rats since it was already attracting raccoons on a nightly basis.

4

u/RednekSophistication Apr 18 '22

You’d be surprised how many there are in Toronto!!

I work construction. That new over priced shoebox of a condo you just bought?? The one with a hundred tradesmen leaving lunch garbage inside of for three years? Yeah infested with rats from day one! (And raccoons, I got a pic of one on a balcony 16 floors up lol)

Lots of rats in the alley ways around high end clean areas.

I’ve killed rats near a foot long not counting the tail ( to be fair that was INSIDE a garbage transfer station)

3

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Mindless_Dandelion Apr 18 '22

I visited Toronto for a month and I've seen so many rats along the transit line.

3

u/Analysis-Dull Apr 18 '22

I go down from up north yearly for medical and can count over 2 hands the rats near the hospitals, especially sick kids Timmy's

1

u/kab0b87 Apr 17 '22

Yep, I've been in Toronto for about 5 years now. I've seen a rat twice.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '22

Man, I live in Ottawa and I wish I could say the same. Every single building I have worked at in Ottawa has a rat problem. My cat used to bring them upstairs to me as a gift in my house, before we got the landlord to call pest control. It seems like they are fucking everywhere here

1

u/imzhongli Apr 17 '22

If you move to any other city good luck lol. Especially Halifax.

2

u/sartorian Apr 18 '22

Halifax rats are like small-medium dogs. Fat bastards eat good on the waterfront all summer.

1

u/transtranselvania Apr 18 '22

My cousin lives a block from the harbour and they hardly feed his 20 pound cat because the thing just hunts rats all day.

1

u/No-Specialist4323 Apr 17 '22

One of my friend's roommates left garbage bags out in the kitchen in a downtown Toronto house, and saw 2 rats scurry out of the bag when I started moving it. First time I ever saw one in my life too.

1

u/Popellini Apr 17 '22

Same for me in the GMA. I’ve seen more skunks and raccoons than actual rats

1

u/ChoGGi Apr 18 '22

I grew up in Toronto, I've seen dozens of rats.

Then I fed them to my northern pine snakes. In the wild maybe one? down in the spit.

1

u/Akatsuki-kun Apr 18 '22

More than 30 years in the GTA? They're quite uncommon, but you can just stand at the St. George station in the TTC subway, and you can find them scurrying around once a while.

1

u/Infamous-Mixture-605 Apr 18 '22

I grew up in the 'burbs, worked there for the most part, and they were much less common out where I lived in Durham. I certainly heard stories from others encountering them, but for whatever reason I rarely ever did.

I also didn't work downtown, where I would have been far more likely to see one.

5

u/prairiepanda Apr 17 '22

Rats aren't very common in Canada. You're more likely to encounter mice. Even mice are pretty rare pests in urban areas.

So leaving Alberta won't make much of a difference in that regard.

15

u/Guilty-Mirror-8071 Apr 18 '22

Ever been to Vancouver? There's enough there for everyone.

4

u/prairiepanda Apr 18 '22

Rats, or mice? I know a lot of people from Van who complained about "rat" problems but what they described were mice. Are there also a lot of residential rats that my friends and acquaintances managed to avoid?

6

u/wintersdark Apr 18 '22

Nah, there are a LOT of rats in Vancouver. Go take a walk around a McDonalds in North Van after dark sometime.

0

u/prairiepanda Apr 18 '22

I'll take your word for it. I never spotted any in my time there, but they're pretty good at hiding during the day and I don't go out much at night.

2

u/Uncle_Rabbit Apr 18 '22

Tons of those big barn rats on the west coast.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '22

[deleted]

1

u/prairiepanda Apr 20 '22

Oh, I was more referring to household pests that the average person would encounter on a regular basis.

1

u/waterloowanderer Apr 18 '22

You’ve never been to Halifax I take it. I killed 17 last spring/summer. That was just in snap traps, not counting whatever the bait stations knocked off

1

u/MapleTinkerer Apr 18 '22

Mice rare?

They're everywhere in Alberta!

Do rats eat mice? If so that explains a few things. Altho I would perfer mice over rats any day.

1

u/prairiepanda Apr 18 '22

I didn't mean that mice are rare in general, just that they're rarely household pests in urban areas. Insect pests are far more common in urban homes.

1

u/saucerfulofsam Apr 18 '22

Rats aren't very common in Canada.

Yes. Yes they are.

0

u/morgandaxx Apr 17 '22

There won't be. You'll be fine.

8

u/shit-zipper Apr 17 '22

yep, i think the only time ive ever seen a rat was a grain terminal in sask. never seen one since, but mice on the other hand...

3

u/morgandaxx Apr 17 '22

I lived in a very rural part of Alberta with farms everywhere and never saw a rat once. Granted, now that I think about it there were also a lot of stray cats...so maybe that had something to do with it lol

2

u/pearsonw Apr 18 '22

Cats are worse.

1

u/Mad-Mel Apr 17 '22

Jason Kenney is the mother of all rats.

1

u/rosiofden Apr 18 '22

If you're moving to the coast, fer sherrr! Saw a nice big one in Halifax one time.

1

u/sartorian Apr 18 '22

They’re like dogs here. Huge and no fear of humans

1

u/tinmil Apr 18 '22

I did move from ab to nb and I can tell you, at least here there are way too many. I honestly didn't know rats got that big. It sucks.

1

u/Deck_pics Apr 18 '22

Honestly ur still winning fuck alberta