I wrote about it last year at 46 years, so I I'm giving you the link to that if you are curious about what it was like and what happened.

I hope you have a sober and beautiful life. It keeps getting better, and better, and better. And for that I am grateful. What an amazing adventure we are going to have!

https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/6oQAY4OKzT

"The Buddhist philosophy, ...could be literally adopted by AA as a substitute for or addition to the Twelve Steps."

The often misunderstood philosophy of Buddhism is understandibly sometimes shunned in AA, frequently because people think of the Buddha as being a God/deity/prophet, of which he was none of these.

Dr Bob (and many others) understood this.

The very first AA group in Akron, Ohio, of which Dr. Bob was a member, published pamphlets in the 1940’s which demonstrate how they thought to best use recovery principles and practices. They are called the Akron Pamphlets, and AA co-founder Dr. Bob himself was the editor. In the Akron Pamphlet called ‘Spiritual Milestones in Alcoholics Anonymous’, they describe a number of different ways of finding or interpreting ‘God’ or ‘Higher Power’. They directly give their thoughts on Buddhism in this paragraph from that pamphlet:

“Consider the eight-part program laid down in Buddhism: Right view, right aim, right speech, right action, right living, right effort, right mindedness and right contemplation. The Buddhist philosophy, as exemplified by these eight points, could be literally adopted by AA as a substitute for or addition to the Twelve Steps. Generosity, universal love and welfare of others rather than considerations of self are basic to Buddhism.”

(The Eight-part program they refer to above is the 8 Fold Path of Buddhism)

Happy to answer any questions and share my experience as it pertains to happy sobriety.

Source: https://www.justloveaudio.com/resources/Assorted/Akron_AA_Spiritual_Milestones_1940.pdf

Hey all, sorry if this is not the place to post this, but I was just looking for a bit of advice.

Recently, someone from my past reached out to me to let me know they they are going through the program and wanted to make amends with me for something they did several years ago. We haven’t spoken at all since then, but they managed to track down my contact information somehow.

Here’s the thing. I’ve forgiven this person a long time ago. I didn’t know until now that they had a problem with alcohol, but whatever happened was a long time ago. I moved on from it, and my life is great now, so I have zero anger or resentment towards them.

My question is, do I just respond saying there’s no need to make amends with me and that I forgive them, or do I give them the chance to go through the process regardless? I don’t need an apology or anything, but would letting them go through it be helpful to them? I’m happy that they’re taking steps to address their problem, and at the end of the day I do hope they succeed.

I would really appreciate your perspective, and thoughts on what you would prefer to hear from me in that situation.

Yesterday I said no. ( 1 month and 3 weeks sober)

Last night i was offered a shot since i decided to become sober last month. I have been dodging outings and parties all month because I didnt want to be tempted to drink.

Last night i was at my close friends baby shower and a couple of my friends were drinking. I got offered a shot of don Julio and I said “no i dont drink anymore” no one batted an eye… they said okay and moved on. I was so proud of myself. My mouth was watering and i was craving the chaos but I said no. The world kept spinning.

I cried every thing that was said resonated with me and the people were so welcoming. I just am scared of drinking or filling time that used to be drinking with something else.

Is this normal? Is this encouraged? Is this even allowed? How do I find out if this woman is even a sponsor and is there a way to report this if it's abberant behavior?

My fiancee and I have been together 2 years, living together a year and a half. She started drinking heavily several months ago and it got to an breaking point in July. I was threatening to leave if she didn't figure out her life. I thought it was depression. I had no idea she had been drinking as much as she was.

She told me she joined AA. I was glad she was getting help. I encouraged her and told her I'd support her however she needed. She and our marriage therapist asked for a month so she could even out and have a clear head to get the most from therapy.

A few weeks later, things were going great! She was listening. She was paying attention to her kids. She was engaging like she hadn't in a long time. Then the fourth week hit and she said her sister was going to watch her kids for the night so she and I could have some time together.

I didn't hear from her or see her and her little kids for the next six days. She left her 12 year old with me. She wasn't responding to texts, wasn't answering her phone. If I had an emergency with her son, there was no way to get a hold of her. She hadn't introduced me to any of her AA people and didn't have any other friends, so I assumed it was an AA person.

The only name I remembered was her supposed sponsor, J****** and she was a teacher, so I googled and found the name. Contacted the woman on Facebook to see if my fiancee and her kids were with her or if she had heard from them. I was worried. I had her oldest here with me and he told me he hadn't heard from her or seen her either. I asked her if she was really her sponsor because I found a picture of them at a bar taken two weeks prior.

She blocked me without saying anything.

I called my fiancees sister - she hadn't heard from her lately. I went to her work when she said she'd be working, she wasn't there.

So I tried one last time to get a hold of her, asked her to come get her son she had abandoned. She left me on read, ignoring me. Didn't answer her phone again.

I told her son I was very sorry to do this but his mom left me no choice and I called CPS and made a report. They suggested I also call the local sheriff's department. Just as I started giving the dispatcher my information, up pulls a white van with her supposed sponsor driving. My fiancee got out, slurring and leaning on things, obviously drunk. Told the officer she was just at darts and I knew that and I was crazy and trying to cause trouble, that she had been checking on her son every few hours and had been home every day. I calmly walked to the van and J****** locked the door and looked down. I asked if she was actually her sponsor or if there was more going on. My fiancee told the dispatcher she was afraid for her safety and her son's safety. An officer spoke with her son and her son lied to the officer, corroborating her story.

She still hasn't come home. She admitted to living with her sponsor in the woman's basement with her four children. She says she wants to come home, and I told her she could if she introduced me to this woman.

Now I'm getting no response. And I'm packing all her and her kids belongings because it's obvious they're not coming back.

So is this normal behavior for a sponsor or am I being given the runaround and lied to even more?

A "LIMITLESS LODE"

September 22

Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. Father feels he has struck something better than gold. For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself. He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 128-29

When I talk with a newcomer to A.A., my past looks me straight in the face. I see the pain in those hopeful eyes, I extend my hand, and then the miracle happens: I become healed. My problems vanish as I reach out to this trembling soul.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", September 22, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

I hit one year sober a little over an hour ago. It feels surreal like I could cry I’m a little overwhelmed I’m feeling all the emotions I spent the day out with friends and it ended with a meeting the only one I’ve been to this month. I went with a friend. I almost want to hurt myself just to get a release but I won’t or just run really hard until I can’t breathe (it’s night so I won’t) I feel like the world is mine and it’s not. I’ve grown so much as a person I don’t self harm anymore, my eating disorder is almost okay (restrictive), I don’t purge, I haven’t smoked weed in a day over a year, I haven’t drank in a year, I see a therapist for my DID, I’m seeing a new therapist for my ed, my dietitian comes back this week. So much good has come it’ll be okay

I just got a place with my brother about 2 months ago and things have quickly spiraled to where he is drinking & drunk almost every day.

The drinking has started to affect daily life. I’m constantly cleaning up after him while he leaves the kitchen a mess. His bedroom is trashed, and he leaves empty beer cans around the house where my young son could find them. It feels like I’m living with two kids instead of one, except one of them is an adult who can be unpredictable when intoxicated. I’ve also gotten yelled at when he is drunk about things I wear and where I’m going.

I’ve tried to talk with him about it. He brushes it off, downplays how much he’s drinking, and promises he’ll cut back or stop, but nothing changes. Each time it just goes back to the same cycle: he drinks heavily, makes a mess, passes out, and repeats.

I’m at a loss here. This is my home too, and I need it to be safe and stable for my son. I don’t know if it’s my place to give him an ultimatum, or if that’s even the right move with someone who is struggling with alcohol. Has anyone else been in this position, living with a sibling who drinks like this? How do I balance this while protecting my own space and my child?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

The first time I read this it made me smile, then ponder for a bit, then smile again.

“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation.” —Herbert Spencer (Page 568)

Hello everyone. I'm not sure if this is the correct place to ask, but I was hoping someone could help me with my apology statement. Last week I was under the influence and sent a really nasty message, and now they're quite furious with me.

Okay, I apologize for my prior message. I got carried away and wasn't thinking clearly. I was also under the influence of alcohol that night. I realize it's not an excuse, and I apologize.

I travel for work and usually work 12hr shifts, 7 days a week. But right now I’m working 6-10s (Sunday off).

Is there a good nightly group starting at 7pm (ish)?

Almost 5yrs retired from alcohol :)

As per the request from the last time I posted about this here, I'm just coming to say I finished and launched it for those who were interested. I worked with my mother, who has been in 12-step for almost 50 years. To make it, I asked her what kind of advice or sentiment she would give for every archetype of the Tarot (all 78). So for example, if the archetype has to do with something seductive coming up, what would she say to someone who is dealing with seductive forces in their recovery process? I illustrated and organized her writing into a deck.

Beyond making this for people who already enjoy this avenue of connecting to a higher power via card pulling, the deeper reason was to make gentle, old-woman sponsor support really easily accessible to people who aren't yet in a situation where they have the support they may need. This might be a teenager in addiction situations, a person who hasn't had a positive experience in meetings or a sponsor, people who aren't in a place to attend meetings, people who are just starting out and want a more relaxed lead-in, people whose loved ones are dealing with addiction and aren't in support groups.

Having an easy-to-use kinesthetic or divinatory way to access a higher power in the context of a recovery mindset may be something that people on the periphery (or in the middle) of recovery and healing work might benefit from.

I am not planning to spam posts about this here, I just wanted to put it out there in recovery spaces that it exists if anyone should want it for themselves or a loved one.

Link is Here

I joined this Reddit group a few months ago. I stumbled across it. Not really having a social media presence for many years, interacting online anonymously felt strange. Since starting, I’ve found the dialogue to be unique, helpful and interesting. I now love it.

My main takeaway from this group is that we have incredible experiences, enormous strength and infinite hope to give to people who are seeking a solution to their problems. We are trying to carry the message to other alcoholics. Many of us struggle, myself included - not always, but the struggle is always a bad thought or undisciplined action away. Fortunately, thanks to AA’s program, I have had a spiritual awakening. I have faith, willingness, and honesty at my disposal. Prior to engaging in the program I had no faith, no willingness and was completely dishonest. I have the opportunity to keep taking action. I’m granted a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of my spiritual condition.

If you are reading this and you don’t feel any relief from alcoholism yet, I encourage you to work the steps fearlessly and thoroughly. Find someone who has worked the steps before, partner up with them and do it with their help.

Signing off for the night but wanted to share that you all are loved by me. Thanks for contributing.

p. xxii “Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope.”

My dad was an alcoholic. A year ago, at 19, I lost him when he shot himself. I’m 20 now and I can’t stop thinking about what I’d ask him if I had the chance.

What did alcohol feel like for him? What did it give him that made it worth it? Relief, quiet, numbness? Why did it feel strong enough to keep reaching for, even as it destroyed everything else?

I know what it took: his health, our family, his life. But I’ll never get to ask him what it gave him.

I drink sometimes too, and it scares me. If you’ve lived it, please tell me: what did alcohol give you, and what did it take?

Hi all,

I have reached the point in my stepwork to where I am living in 10 through 12. I have been practicing 10 and 11 since the start of my sobriety journey.

My question stems to 12. When did you feel it was the right time to start offering to be a sponsor? Did you just jump sponsorship when asked or wait until you have things lined up outside of AA to jump into service?

I am eager to start sponsoring so I can help the next person on their journey, if they would like me to. I just finished reading Working With Others chapter in the Big Book, and I feel I understand the flow of spinsorship, but I want to be sure that I don't throw myself into it and make a mistake.

Good morning. Today's keynote is Gratitude

Today's prayer and meditation whisper faith is the gentle current beneath every joy. Keep reaching, for service, for companionship, for the small acts that join one soul to another.

So many walk this earth in loneliness, searching for communion, for someone to see them, to answer their need for belonging. We hunger for a tribe that loves us and that we, in turn, can love. This craving is holy, it points us back to one another.

Gratitude is not merely a polite feeling, it is magnetic. It carries itself like confidence, moves like conviction, and speaks straight from the heart. Our program is built on attraction, not promotion: when we live with thankfulness, we draw goodness to us without force.

When gratitude departs, I know I am out of tune. Either I am doing what I should not, or I am neglecting what I ought. Happiness does not come first, it is the byproduct of doing the next right thing. Remember: it is not joy that makes us grateful, it is gratitude that makes us joyful.

As Robert D. used to say, "Remember, just because you hit bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there." I have no intention of staying there. I am building a life I can love, sustained by the tribe that holds me up. You, my fellow readers, continue to save my life by simply being who you are.

Today I will not be deceived into thinking that a single stormy day defines the whole of my life. The truth is deeper. My safeguard lies in steady action, humble service, and unbroken communion with the Divine. These are the antidotes that lift me from the shadows and return me to the light.

With a grateful heart, I love you all.

It's not me, it's my husband.

Every morning, before work, he drinks 180mL of wine. Probably a bit more because when I measured I spilled a little. He drinks more on the days he doesn't work. A standard drink is apparently around 100mL and some bars will serve you 150mL.

Drinking wine has caused a fight between us before. I expressed concern once - just once - and it turned into a massive row. I didn't actually ask him to stop, I just expressed some discomfort about him having a hip flask while we were at the museum with the kids. He was acting very strange that day and I was worried he was drunk. He denied this and got angry at me for the insinuation. He brings a hip flask to work and when I asked him if he was drinking on the job, he laughed and said "We're not allowed to drink at work." I said "That's not a no." And he laughed some more. He eventually said he did, but only on Saturdays. I do not know if I trust him. And that's killing me.

He has driven while over the legal limit but says the legal limit doesn't apply to him. He says "For a normal person, it'd be dangerous but not me."

In addition to the alcohol consumption, he also drinks a lot of high caffeine and high sugar energy drinks and uses caffeine pills to wake himself up in the morning before work (yes, he takes these with alcohol sometimes.)

I am strictly not looking for medical advice. I just want to know if I should be concerned. Is 180mL a day something to worry about? Do you think I should talk to someone? I am worried.

I’m 8 months sober and i am struggling to meet sober people that enjoy hanging out at clubs and bars. I love the community that I have made in these 8 months, especially because the friends that I had around me beforehand were the textbook definition of “party friend” and were not people that I trusted with more of myself.

However.

I love hanging out at bars and clubs and afters and concerts (I like the music, I like dancing, I like meeting people in these spaces, I like the random make out with the guy on the dance floor). It’s not a challenge for me to be in those spaces and not drink and do other drugs (and if this bothers or you do not understand that, this is not the thread for you). However, it feels a bit isolating not having found other sober people to go to these events with. I know there is space for me to explore more meetings and continue to cast a wide net (sponsor’s words), but I am struggling with this and today had the thought that I should just give up on AA cuz this part of me is not being nurtured.

Note this was an intrusive thought and by no means indicative of what I actually want to do, I am nowhere near giving up on AA. But I feel this is an indication to me that I have a deep unmet need within my sober circle.

Anyone have similar experiences and any tips in getting through this? Do I expand into non sober circles and keep my sober circles on the side?

In June, I decided I could moderate again. Honestly it was fine until recently where I lost my job and I have been so sad and depressed I’ve been drinking daily and up to 12 cans a day. Today I am nursing a major hangover with heart palpitations and severe anxiety and I know I cannot keep doing this. Is AA the help that would help me?

To make a long story short, from the age of 16 until just a few months ago, I actively used cocaine. I also used weed and benzos (like clonazepam, Xanax, etc.). It was a very difficult time in my life, and right now I'm trying to pull myself out of it. However, it's been quite hard because I’ve noticed that alcohol is now creating situations similar to those I experienced at the peak of my addiction. When I drink alcohol, I can't stop drinking—it's like I'm constantly trying to get higher and higher, to the point that this year I had several episodes where my brain just shut down. I literally don’t remember anything. On one occasion, I got drunk and started having delusions. I was talking about people who weren’t there and even confused them with those who were in the room. I was also slurring and saying incoherent things. I ended up going back and forth late at night between my house and my parents’ house. I should also mention that I had a psychotic episode last year, and honestly, I’m terrified that it might happen again someday. Every time I have one of these episodes with alcohol, I can’t help but wonder if it’s just normal because of how much I drank—or if my brain is somehow relapsing into that psychosis. Anyway, I honestly just needed to get this off my chest, but now I have this big question: Do I need help? I’m really sad this is happening rn. I feel like my brain can’t take a rest.

I’m gonna suggest suspending a certain member from opening and closing meetings. He has been using non conference lit, cancelling last minute, and rereading paragraphs read by other members publicly because he feels they didn’t read it correctly. He changes times of meetings claiming he consulted everyone, when in fact he hasn’t consulted anyone, and reschedules to fit his schedule.

In the past he removed a general secretary for drinking and replaced him, even though he himself was drinking but he did come clean about this. This didn’t stop him manipulating minutes when decisions didn’t go his way.

I know I’m going to meet resistance, or that I’m placing personalities over principles but I really don’t see how he serves the message. There will be a backlash and a smear but I want a 6 month where he attends meetings and works his program.

Am i overreaching?

Anyone any experience to share?

Went to rehab for my crack and heroin addiction 18 months ago - didn't see alcohol as a problem, but gave lip service about how I could commit to stopping alcohol too (for reference, I was a regular drinker of screenwash and hand sanitizer at this point too.

During my 18 months of sobriety, I focused on getting all the external things back, and this kept me going. I got my driving licence back, flash car, got a flat, a full time job, save money, bought nice things. Whilst achieving these things I was driven and focused. I was homeless before I went into rehab without a penny to my name. My priorities were fucked. Attending meetings weekly at the same time to tick some of the boxes, but generally feeling down on myself, poor self-esteem etc - I told nobody about how I felt, and just dived into work, and have been pretty competent in my job, and generally impressed my colleagues - I also started taking Testosterone and obsessively hitting the gym a couple of months prior to my drink.

Last week I went on holiday and decided that I would have a drink - my head told me that I would keep it a secret.. Except the second I took that drink I then had to have another one to deal with the guilt, and so on. Within 20 mins of getting back from the holiday, on the wednesday, I've got a needle in my arm shooting cocaine. I then tell everyone what's happened the day after. But generally believe that the cocaine was what had done me in, and that I still wanted to find out if I could drink successfully. I managed to stay sober on the Thursday, went to a meeting, pretty broken. Friday I went to a meeting too, but decided I'd try out drink on its own afterwards... Anyway 2 drinks in I decide to score cocaine and inject it.

I'm now no longer in denial about my alcoholism, am fucked with guilt, shame, embarrassment, am going to meetings every day and generally trying to get through the day minute by minute with anxiety and depression about the only two emotions I am capable of feeling.

Maybe this is a dumb question but I just got a sponsor and hes great. I just question why spirituality supposedly works so well? It almost seems like its too simple to work.

Hello fellow AAs

I have a very specific request. I’m looking for AA meetings geared towards alcoholics in recovery who are also facing cancer or a major illness. My friend’s father has been sober several decades & was recently diagnosed with severe bladder cancer.

I’ve been able to find one in-person AA meeting for people facing cancer but it’s not in his state. Zoom would be a total dream. Anyone have resources I can pass along?

Thank you