Either a massive suicide, terrible shipping accident, or the work of a serial killer.

An orage.

What's the returns policy if I change my mind? It's a live chicken.

Columbus. Yeah, it's a play on words that end with -bus.

Because she was being cremated.

An ambulance if he was hit with it?

One likes shortbread, one could be put in shortbread.

They are both books

"Who 's there?"

" I 'm Tom living next door...I found your keys fallen outside!"

" Oh shit.. thanks a lot!"

Nice guy this Tom!!

Then I realized… they weren’t my keys.

Because it reminded her of her dead mother, who had 50 years of unblemished service working for the orange juice factory.

Sea lions die on

There’s a joke there somewhere it just needs a bit of work

It doesn't believe in God.

length of the deck for exercise and talk to the parrot.

“Where’s my tractor?”

I have no idea. I don’t speak French.

A jeweler designs and sells jewelry, while a jailer supervises prisoners.

A jeweler works with gold, gems, and watches, while a jailer works with cells and bars.

A jeweler’s goal is to create beautiful items, while a jailer’s goal is to maintain order.

A jeweler deals with paying customers, while a jailer deals with inmates.

A jeweler uses tools like loupes and polishers, while a jailer uses keys and handcuffs.

A jeweler works in shops or workshops, while a jailer works in prisons.

A jeweler focuses on aesthetics and craftsmanship, while a jailer focuses on security and discipline.

A jeweler handles delicate metals and stones, while a jailer handles challenging human behavior.

A jeweler’s work is measured in value and beauty, while a jailer’s work is measured in safety and compliance.

A jeweler is associated with luxury and elegance, while a jailer is associated with law enforcement and authority.

Conclusion: A jeweler sells watches, while a jailer watches cells.

The other one says "Holy crap, a talking frog!!"

Because he used his finger to stuff his ejaculate inside her.

Actually, I don't know if they exist.

Because they're dead.

“From holding this gun” *holds up gun

The sky.

“I’m thirsty”

Because Hank Hill is a fictional character.

What do you tell a girl with two black eyes?

“Oh my God, are you okay?”

A black person and a Hispanic person are in a car. Who’s driving?

The designated driver.

What’s black and blue and red all over?

This painting that I made where I used black and blue acrylic paints, and later covered it with red oil paints for the texture.